
The Five Trials
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Narrated by:
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Leo Barnabas
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By:
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Mike Truk
About this listen
My name's Noah Kilmartin. I'm from Ruddock, Ohio, and I'm absolutely, 100 percent unqualified to save the universe from the slavering demonic hordes of the super evil bitch queen Lilith. Too bad nobody asked my opinion.
All I've got to do is pass five lethal trials that'll prove I'm the universe's last chance at salvation. To do so, I'll have to lean hard on those three years of Okinawan jiu-jutsu classes I took in high school, learn to wield my new magic sword, and, oh yeah - select five women to flesh out my team, bonding with each one for arcane purposes and desperately trying to stay alive in the process.
Piece of cake. Right?
Warning and minor spoilers: The Five Trials is a book intended for mature listeners age 18 years and older. It contains graphic sex, medieval violence, and nudity. People curse, piss their pants, hack off heads, get a little dizzy and tortured, seduce each other, try to seduce each other, and get scared witless by horrors from the darkest dimensions. Most importantly, you'll meet gorgeous, powerful women, some capable for hurling lightning, others of swinging battle-axes, and one that's Noah's unrequited crush from high school. All of them are willing to enter unconventional, polyamorous harem relationships if it means saving the universe, and luckily for Noah, this time it actually does.
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Acharsis has always loved long shots. But even with a perfect scheme and a handpicked squad of godsblooded grifters and fighters, breaking into the undead lord's Akkodaisis' ziggurat is suicidally impossible. Good thing Archarsis is a fallen demigod with more than one trick up his sleeve....
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Incredibly imaginative
- By RyRy on 09-08-17
By: Phil Tucker
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Forbidden
- Arotas Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Amy Miles
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Roseline Enescue didn't ask to become an immortal, to have all of the guests at her wedding slaughtered, or to be forced into marriage with a man whose lust for blood would one day ignite the vampire legend. Willing to risk everything for a chance at a normal life, Roseline escapes to America. But her transition into the human world isn't easy. Mortal men flock after her while cutthroat girls plot her demise. Yet she remains relatively unfazed until she meets Gabriel Marston.
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Not recommended
- By Sarah on 11-08-15
By: Amy Miles
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The Deepest Well
- Dominion, Book 1
- By: Juliette Cross
- Narrated by: Allie Rose
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
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Story
The same night Lady Katherine Blakely discovers just what a monster her husband is, she meets a charming stranger, a gentleman from top to toe, not a wolf in gallant evening dress as so many of them are. But even he is not all that he seems. Lord George Draconis Thornton has returned from abroad as Earl of Melbourne. As the commander of the Dominus Daemonum, demon hunters set on earth to purge the world of creatures corrupting mankind, his mission is to expel the demon prince, Damas, back to the underworld before he corrupts his last remaining descendant.
By: Juliette Cross
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At the Sign of the Crow and Moon
- A Sorcery Ascendant Prequel Novella
- By: Mitchell Hogan
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the bustling capital city of the Mahruse Empire, Felicienne Shyrise spends her days as a talented investigator, taking on stolen goods and missing person cases and the occasional murder the city guard are too incompetent - or too lazy - to resolve. During the nights she hones her skills playing Dominion, a board game almost as complicated as life itself. She dreams of making a name for herself and becoming the richest woman in the Empire.
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Worth It
- By Gaia on 09-23-19
By: Mitchell Hogan
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Marked
- Eternal Guardians, Book 1
- By: Elisabeth Naughton
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Wiley
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Theron - Dark haired, duty bound and deceptively deadly. He's the leader of the Argonauts, an elite group of guardians that defends the immortal realm from threats of the Underworld. From the moment he walked into the club, Casey knew this guy was different. Men like that just didn't exist in real life - silky shoulder-length hair, chest impossibly broad, and a predatory manner that just screamed dark and dangerous. He was looking for something. Her. She was the one. She had the mark. Casey had to die so his kind could live, and it was Theron's duty to bring her in. But even as a 200-year-old descendent of Hercules, he wasn't strong enough to resist....
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I tried
- By Leesa on 10-06-13
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Kissed by a Dark Prince
- Eternal Mates Paranormal Romance Series, Book 1
- By: Felicity Heaton
- Narrated by: Charlotte Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
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Overall
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Story
Olivia thinks it's her lucky night when a dangerously handsome, unconscious fae ends up on her inspection table. He's her chance to redeem herself with her employer, the demon-hunting organization Archangel. But when the tall, dark, and deadly immortal warrior awakes, she gets much more than she bargained for.... Attacked by his enemy in the elf kingdom, the last thing Prince Loren expects when he comes around is a beautiful angel watching over him and medical technology of the mortal realm.
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OMG! What horrible narration..
- By Trish R. on 05-03-16
By: Felicity Heaton
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Heroes Die
- The First of the Acts of Caine
- By: Matthew Stover
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 22 hrs and 28 mins
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Renowned throughout the land of Ankhana as the Blade of Tyshalle, Caine has killed his share of monarchs and commoners, villains and heroes. He is relentless, unstoppable, simply the best there is at what he does. At home on Earth, Caine is Hari Michaelson, a superstar whose adventures in Ankhana command an audience of billions.
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Don't Let the Cover Turn You Off
- By Paul on 08-13-12
By: Matthew Stover
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Starling
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- By: Lesley Livingston
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Mason Starling is a champion fencer on the Gosforth Academy team, but she's never had to fight for her life. Not until the night a ferocious, otherworldly storm rips through Manhattan, trapping Mason and her teammates inside the school. Mason is besieged by nightmarish creatures more terrifying than the thunder and lightning as the raging tempest also brings a dangerous stranger into her life: a young man who remembers nothing but his name - the Fennrys Wolf. His arrival tears Mason's world apart, even as she feels an undeniable connection to him.
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Disappointed
- By Bill on 09-18-12
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Eon
- Dragoneye Reborn
- By: Alison Goodman
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Twelve-year-old Eon has been training for years. His intensive study of Dragon Magic, based on Oriental astrology, involves two kinds of skills: sword-work and magical aptitude. He and his master hope that he will be chosen as a Dragoneye - an apprentice to one of the 12 energy dragons of good fortune.
But Eon has a dangerous secret. He is actually Eona, a 16-year-old girl who has been masquerading as a 12-year-old boy for the chance to become a Dragoneye.
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I was hooked
- By The Mankers on 04-22-12
By: Alison Goodman
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Forbidden Forest
- By: Tenaya Jayne
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Born in shame. Cast from society. Shape-shifter/elf hybrid Forest must fight for any respect she can get. Targeted in her youth by a vampire noble who placed an illegal slave mark on her, she is forced to obey him no matter what. Slipping the grip of her master and abandoning the prejudice of Regia, her native world, Forest takes a job on Earth, guarding the portal, using her skills as a warrior to enforce Regia's laws. Now, called home for a black ops mission, Forest must put aside her own prejudice to transport the vampire prince, Syrus, through enemy territory in a time of war.
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Eye roll-inducing YA fluff
- By M. Williams on 09-05-17
By: Tenaya Jayne
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Hollen the Soulless
- Dokiri Brides, Book 1
- By: Denali Day
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Always the dutiful daughter, Lady Joselyn is weeks away from marrying a rival lord in order to save her house. However, she suddenly finds herself in the clutches of an ancient beast she’s only ever heard of in legends. More terrifying than that is the beast’s master, a wild man who insists Joselyn is his bride by right, and plans to seal his claim in blood. Dragon-rider Hollen has finally captured the woman of his dreams, though he quickly learns waiting for her was less than half the battle.
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Love It!
- By Lily U. on 05-20-21
By: Denali Day
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Night’s Darkest Embrace
- By: Jeaniene Frost
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
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Enter the dark realm of Nocturna, where blisteringly sexy Rafael dominates the demons of a lawless dimension and tries to help a beautiful young woman avenge her cousin's disappearance.
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JEANIENE AND TAVIA ARE AN AUTOMATIC BUY FOR ME!
- By Annie The Audible Addict!!! on 07-18-16
By: Jeaniene Frost
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Devils covet his realm. He isn’t about to let them take it. As a primal conjurer, Ryn Xaven is a rare sorcerer who can use all types of magic and bond multiple beautiful mages as his protectors and companions. Together they will root out devils, protect their world from demonic invasion, and keep each other warm on cold nights. Yet before Ryn can do all that, he has to graduate from the prestigious Primal Academy.
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Great writing with a simple story.
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Adam lived paycheck to paycheck, earning a contract that'd finally change everything. After a skydive gone wrong, he endures an Isekai by the Creator Herself, entering a land of myth and magic to compete in the Game of Castles where individuals are constantly challenged. As one of a hundred Champions, he can level through feats and quests, unlocking the power of the Gods. Tolmeria is not for the faint of heart. The land is infested with monsters, foul magic, and evil people.
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What listeners say about The Five Trials
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- Cthaeh
- 11-30-18
horrible whiny MC
The MC is awful. This book is 16 hours of a whining crying 12 year old beta male running from conflict. He has no redeeming characteristics he pisses himself constantly both literally and figuratively. When he isnt hiding under the bed from scary vaginas throwing themselves at him he is pining for the one girl who doesnt want him. He has zero agency no agenda no plan hes not a char he is furniture that hates itself.
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37 people found this helpful
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- Ryan
- 01-01-19
MC needs to actually have a head on his shoulders
Just tired of the MC not having a clue what to do. He is supposed to get stronger as time passes but that doesn’t seem to happen.
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- Ben
- 01-18-19
first foray
for my first excursion into the swords and sorcery harem delights I'm glad it was Mike truk and his nobody champion Noah. as far as I'm concerned Mike has all the elements of a great read . I can't wait to hear the rest of the series
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- JB
- 11-13-20
great start
I enjoyed this book very much. this is the 3rd series ive started by this author and like the others did not disappoint. the narration started out annoying but only because of the whining of the mc. it changed as the story progressed and over all I think he did well. starting the second book immediately.
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- AY4
- 07-05-19
D&D a la Matrix
Excellent story line and concept. The MC does get a little whiny and distracted a lot. Unfortunately, the narrator gets high pitched when that happens because he’s completely caught up in the character. I just found myself hitting the 30 second skip button when I figured out it was coming and the story was 10x better.
That being said I bought book two and hopefully it gets better.
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- Kindle Customer
- 06-24-19
Great start
Love the story! The sooner he stops pissing himself the better. Hope the next book is just as good
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- Anonymous User
- 08-20-19
surprisingly good. but skips and pause terribly
the story surprisingly good. but skips and pause terribly. I deleted and redownload and constantly had probablems with just this book.
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- D. Judge
- 06-08-19
Worth the Read!
The story has some really realistic elements and then some that are not so realistic. It is fairly fast paced and rather engaging to listen to. Leo Barnabas did a smashing job of narrating this one. The characters are okay but not nearly fleshed out enough for my taste. The sex scenes remind me of the stuff of a male teenager's wet dreams with the male character just happening to know all the right moves to please the woman he is with. Short of a pron star, I doubt there are many with that kind of knowledge every time. Especially considering that the male character had only one previous sexual encounter.
The story itself was very engaging even if the premise was nothing new. Average Joe has to save the world, has no clue how to do so but manages to pull it off somehow. The hero wasn't some demi-god type being but just an average guy. I think what I liked best was that he wasn't afraid to admit he was scared. Pissed his pants twice even. He pushed through everything with a bull-headedness and the theme that "there is no other choice". The story shows that a person can never truly know what they can endure or withstand until they are pushed to their limits and beyond. I still wish we spent more time getting to know the women and their back stories, but who knows, maybe that will happen in the next book.
The explanations of the multi-spheres, their names and what they all stood for was rather distracting for me but I certainly see where others would want to know what it all meant. The fight scenes were well done and rather realistic in that people got hurt, made mistakes and struggled to survive and just stay alive. All in all I felt the story was worth the money and the time invested into it.
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- Bruce
- 01-27-19
So much potential
This book has an interesting premise, great characters, and some awesome action, but narrows its audience too much with pointless profanity, extended torture and blasphemous expletives. Other crudities are part of the genre and I can't really credibly complain about them except the degree made me wince at times. I hope the author will exercise some common sense in editing the next installment so as to broaden the appeal of what could be a great series.
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- james emeagwali
- 07-07-24
beginning almost made me drop
the first few chapters almost made me drop this book. I'm glad I didn't lmaoo the MC is a coward yes he has character development. still whines a lot but damn he makes me laugh alot from how random he can be. Also spoiler the second sex sence was absolutely nasty. legit his group came out of the trial. he pissed himself and they just get it on without him taking a shower. tsk tsk tsk Idk just picky about that. The fourth trial is funny as heck doe. how he claims he has to get in on to save the universe. the way the narrator said it made me laugh. great book I'd finish the series
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