The Gift of Fear
Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
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Narrated by:
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Gavin de Becker
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By:
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Gavin de Becker
About this listen
A special edition of The Gift of Fear, with a new foreword by the author.
A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers to help carry a woman's groceries. Is he a good Samaritan, or is he after something else? A fired employee says "You'll be sorry". Will he return with a gun? After their first date, a man tells a woman it is their "destiny" to be married. What will he do when she won't see him again? A mother has an uneasy feeling about the nice babysitter she's just hired. Should she not go to work today?
These days, no one in America feels immune to violence. But now, in this extraordinary, groundbreaking book, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior unlocks the puzzle of human violence and shows that, like every creature on earth, we have within us the ability to predict the harm others might do us and get out of its way. Contrary to popular myth, human violence almost always has a discernible motive and is preceded by clear warning signs.
Through dozens of compelling examples from his own career, Gavin de Becker teaches us how to read the signs, using our most basic but often most discounted survival skill - our intuition. The Gift of Fear is a remarkable, unique combination of practical guidance on leading a safer life and profound insight into human behavior.
©1997 Gavin de Becker; 2021 Gavin de Becker (P)2021 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Judge Daniel Brennan is only days away from achieving a seat on the Second Circuit Court of Appeals bench when he's brutally stabbed to death in his garage. An army of media and law enforcement descend on the case, and thousands of tips pour in from the public. When one tip leads New Jersey policeman Luke Somers to Steven Gallagher, things quickly go wrong, but Luke is instantly glorified for solving the case. But to one man, Luke is no hero. Chris Gallagher raised his brother, Steven, almost single-handedly, and, certain that Steven is innocent, he won't rest until he sets the record straight.
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Why is this not in David Rosenfelt style?
- By Rajesh on 04-13-13
By: David Rosenfelt
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Whoever Fights Monsters
- My Twenty Years Tracking Serial Killers for the FBI
- By: Robert K. Ressler, Tom Shachtman
- Narrated by: Tom Perkins
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Face-to-face with some of America's most terrifying killers, FBI veteran and ex-Army CID colonel Robert Ressler learned from them how to identify the unknown monsters who walk among us - and put them behind bars. Now the man who coined the phrase "serial killer" and advised Thomas Harris on The Silence of the Lambs shows how he has tracked down some of the nation's most brutal murderers. Join Ressler as he takes you on the hunt for America's most dangerous psychopaths. It is a terrifying journey you will not forget.
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Murderino checking in
- By Sarah R Bongiovanni on 06-16-17
By: Robert K. Ressler, and others
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Cop Under Fire
- Moving Beyond Hashtags of Race, Crime & Politics for a Better America
- By: David A. Clarke Jr., Sean Hannity, Nancy French - contributor
- Narrated by: David A. Clarke Jr.
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
America has become increasingly divided and polarized in recent years. With growing animosity toward law enforcement professionals, government corruption, disregard for the constitution, and racial tension thanks to the media and hate groups, there seems to be no easy answer in sight. But Sheriff David Clarke knows where we must begin. We must stop blaming others and take ownership of our families, communities, and country.
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WOW! What a marvelous book.
- By Wayne on 07-02-17
By: David A. Clarke Jr., and others
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5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
- Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
- By: Bill Eddy
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders - borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic - they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself.
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This book should be required reading.
- By JGM on 05-07-18
By: Bill Eddy
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Going Clear
- Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief
- By: Lawrence Wright
- Narrated by: Morton Sellers
- Length: 17 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A clear-sighted revelation, a deep penetration into the world of Scientology by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Looming Tower, the now-classic study of al-Qaeda’s 9/11 attack. Based on more than two hundred personal interviews with current and former Scientologists—both famous and less well known—and years of archival research, Lawrence Wright uses his extraordinary investigative ability to uncover for us the inner workings of the Church of Scientology.
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Shockingly Great
- By Michael on 01-27-13
By: Lawrence Wright
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The Gift of Adversity
- The Unexpected Benefits of Life's Difficulties, Setbacks, and Imperfections
- By: Norman E. Rosenthal M.D.
- Narrated by: Erik Synnestvedt
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The noted research psychiatrist explores how life's disappointments and difficulties provide us with the lessons we need to become better, bigger, and more resilient human beings. Adversity is an irreducible fact of life. Although we can and should learn from all experiences, both positive and negative best-selling author Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal believes that adversity is by far the best teacher most of us will ever encounter.
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Book ruined by the narrator
- By David C. on 12-07-22
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So You've Been Publicly Shamed
- By: Jon Ronson
- Narrated by: Jon Ronson
- Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the Sunday Times top ten bestselling author of The Psychopath Test, a captivating and brilliant exploration of one of our world's most underappreciated forces: shame. 'It's about the terror, isn't it?' 'The terror of what?' I said. 'The terror of being found out.' For the past three years, Jon Ronson has travelled the world meeting recipients of high-profile public shamings. The shamed are people like us - people who, say, made a joke on social media that came out badly, or made a mistake at work.
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You'll never look at public shaming the same way
- By Megan Gunter on 04-02-15
By: Jon Ronson
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Any Ordinary Day
- Blindsides, Resilience and What Happens After the Worst Day of Your Life
- By: Leigh Sales
- Narrated by: Leigh Sales
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As a journalist, Leigh Sales often encounters people experiencing the worst moments of their lives in the full glare of the media. But one particular string of bad news stories - and a terrifying brush with her own mortality - sent her looking for answers about how vulnerable each of us is to a life-changing event. What are our chances of actually experiencing one? What do we fear most and why? And when the worst does happen, what comes next?
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Beautiful and Timely
- By Elizabeth B on 10-06-18
By: Leigh Sales
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The Meaning of Matthew
- My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed
- By: Judy Shepard
- Narrated by: Judy Shepard
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The mother of Matthew Shepard shares her story about her son's death and the choice she made to become an international gay rights activist.
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Heart breaking story
- By sherry on 08-10-12
By: Judy Shepard
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The Upside of Fear
- How One Man Broke the Cycle of Prison, Poverty, and Addiction
- By: Weldon Long
- Narrated by: Weldon Long
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Weldon Long knows firsthand that Maui is nicer than prison. After 13 years of federal and state incarceration, he emerged a transformed man: a powerful speaker, driven motivator, and successful trainer/entrepreneur. Long holds a BS in law and an MBA in management, despite dropping out of high school in the ninth grade.
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What’s the point?
- By Elliot king on 10-21-21
By: Weldon Long
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To Protect and Serve
- How to Fix America's Police
- By: Norm Stamper
- Narrated by: Malcolm Hillgartner
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
American policing is in crisis. The last decade witnessed a vast increase in police aggression, misconduct, and militarization, along with a corresponding reduction in transparency and accountability. Nowhere is this more noticeable and painful than in African American and other ethnic minority communities. Racism - from raw, individualized versions to insidious systemic examples - appears to be on the rise in our police departments.
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Truth mixed with liberal rhetoric
- By Eric G. on 11-19-16
By: Norm Stamper
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Inside Scientology
- The Story of America's Most Secretive Religion
- By: Janet Reitman
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 15 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Scientology, created in 1954 by a prolific sci-fi writer named L. Ron Hubbard, claims to be the world's fastest-growing religion, with millions of members around the world and huge financial holdings. Its celebrity believers keep its profile high, and its teams of "volunteer ministers" offer aid at disaster sites such as Haiti and the World Trade Center. But Scientology is also a notably closed faith, harassing journalists and others through litigation and intimidation, even infiltrating the highest levels of government to further its goals.
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My cup of tea.
- By MWMcCabe on 08-09-11
By: Janet Reitman
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The Spy Who Was Left Behind
- By: Michael Pullara
- Narrated by: Michael Pullara
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On August 8, 1993, a single bullet to the head killed Freddie Woodruff, the Central Intelligence Agency’s station chief in the former Soviet Republic of Georgia. Within hours, police had a suspect - a vodka-soaked village bumpkin named Anzor Sharmaidze. A tidy explanation quickly followed: It was a tragic accident. US diplomats hailed Georgia’s swift work. Yet the bullet that killed Woodruff was never found, and key witnesses have since retracted their testimony, saying they were beaten and forced to identify Sharmaidze. But if he didn’t do it, who did?
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great book needs a hires narrator
- By Blake Dahl on 11-17-18
By: Michael Pullara
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The Story of Jane
- The Legendary Underground Feminist Abortion Service
- By: Laura Kaplan
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
First published in 1997, The Story of Jane recounts the evolution of Jane, the underground group in Chicago that performed abortion services before the procedure was legalized. An extraordinary history by one of its members, this is the first account of Jane's evolution, the conflicts within the group, and the impact its work had both on the women it helped and the members themselves.
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Will we need Jane again?
- By kate2010 on 10-28-20
By: Laura Kaplan
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Inside the Hotel Rwanda
- The Surprising True Story…and Why It Matters Today
- By: Edouard Kayihura, Kerry Zukus
- Narrated by: Mirron Willis, Rosalind Ashford
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For the first time, learn what really happened inside the walls of Hotel des Mille Collines. In Inside the Hotel Rwanda, survivor Edouard Kayihura tells his own personal story of what life was really like during those harrowing days within the walls of that infamous hotel and offers the testimonies of others who survived there, from Hutu and Tutsi to UN peacekeepers. Kayihura writes of a divided society and his journey to the place he believed would be safe from slaughter.
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#GetWoke #TakeAction
- By Jessie Bindy on 04-06-17
By: Edouard Kayihura, and others
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When Violence Is the Answer
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Left of Bang
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You walk into a restaurant and get an immediate sense that you should leave. You are about to step onto an elevator with a stranger, and something stops you. You interview a potential new employee who has the résumé to do the job, but something tells you not to offer the position. These scenarios all represent "left of bang", the moments before something bad happens.
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Spotting Danger Before It Spots You
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Continuing on the path of The Gift of Fear (Gavin deBecker) Spotting Danger Before It Spots You is geared towards the average citizen who at any moment could find themselves faced with a violent encounter but may lack the training needed to detect the situation early or react to it appropriately.
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great book beyond awareness
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Becoming Bulletproof
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Becoming Bulletproof means transforming yourself into a stronger, more confident, and more powerful person. Evy Poumpouras - former Secret Service agent to three presidents and one of only five women to receive the Medal of Valor - demonstrates how we can overcome our everyday fears, have difficult conversations, know who to trust and who might not have our best interests at heart, influence situations, and prepare for the unexpected. When you have become bulletproof, you are your best, most courageous, and most powerful version of you.
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Not what I had Anticipated, Much Much Better
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Excellent book on when violence is the only answer
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Left of Bang
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You walk into a restaurant and get an immediate sense that you should leave. You are about to step onto an elevator with a stranger, and something stops you. You interview a potential new employee who has the résumé to do the job, but something tells you not to offer the position. These scenarios all represent "left of bang", the moments before something bad happens.
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Easier to follow when read
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The Power of Awareness
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In his empowering book, Dan Schilling shares how to identify and avoid threats using situational awareness and intuition just like the pros. Told with wit and wisdom, this compelling guide uses harrowing stories from Dan's special operations career and those of other experts to outline six easily implemented rules you can apply anywhere to improve your personal safety.
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Verbal Judo, Updated Edition
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When you react, the event controls you. When you respond, you’re in control. Verbal Judo is the classic guide to the martial art of the mind and mouth that can help you defuse confrontations and generate cooperation, whether you're talking to a boss, a spouse, or even a teenager. For more than a generation, Dr. George J. Thompson's essential handbook has taught people how to communicate more confidently and persuasively in any situation.
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Kept thinking it was already started
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Can I See Your Hands
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The title of this audiobook, Can I See Your Hands, refers to one of the key outcomes of this audiobook - being able to tell whether or not people want to cause us harm. To put it very simply, if you can see someone's hands and they are not concealing them, holding a weapon or positioning to strike you, one's levels of trust and confidence can increase. This simple example can serve as a reminder to all of us in many of the complex moments we have to deal with, and difficult decisions we have to make, in everyday life.
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The Gift of Violence
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In today's modern world, we are largely isolated from the kind of savagery our ancestors faced on a daily basis. Although violence was as natural to our evolutionary development as sex and food, it has become foreign to most of us. At once demonized and glamorized, but almost always deeply misunderstood.
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Essential
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Beyond OODA
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Beyond OODA: Developing the Orientation for Deception, Conflict and Violence is Varg Freeborn's highly anticipated follow up to the extremely popular Violence of Mind. While Violence of Mind was a broad introduction to all aspects of violence preparation, Beyond OODA focuses precisely on the development of mindset, or more accurately the orientation that influences and governs our decision making, and how it is developed for both good and bad people, alike.
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Beyond Grossman and all the so called experts.
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The New Superpower for Women
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It takes only seven seconds for a criminal to pick you as a target. This empowering guide for women to protect themselves and their loved ones, from a self-defense expert and longtime veteran of law enforcement, combines commonsense advice on staying safe with concrete actions on what to do if find yourself in a dangerous situation.
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PDF problem solved
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The Safety Trap
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Threat management expert Spencer Coursen offers proactive strategies to protect yourself and your loved ones in the event of hostile encounters and emergency situations in The Safety Trap: A Security Expert’s Secrets for Staying Safe in a Dangerous World.
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So much good information
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What Every BODY Is Saying
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Listen to this book and send your nonverbal intelligence soaring. Joe Navarro, a former FBI counterintelligence officer and a recognized expert on nonverbal behavior, explains how to "speed-read" people: decode sentiments and behaviors, avoid hidden pitfalls, and look for deceptive behaviors. You'll also learn how your body language can influence what your boss, family, friends, and strangers think of you.
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Let Me Hear Your Body Talk
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"Cause Unknown"
- The Epidemic of Sudden Deaths in 2021 & 2022
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2020 saw a spike in deaths in America, smaller than you might imagine during a pandemic, some of which could be attributed to COVID and to initial treatment strategies that were not effective. But then, in 2021, the stats people expected went off the rails. The CEO of the OneAmerica insurance company publicly disclosed that during the third and fourth quarters of 2021, death in people of working age (18–64) was 40 percent higher than it was before the pandemic. Significantly, the majority of the deaths were not attributed to COVID.
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The truth must be told
- By Yee Soon Lim on 06-16-23
By: Ed Dowd
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Mastering Fear
- A Navy SEAL's Guide
- By: Brandon Webb, John David Mann
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Brandon Webb has run life-threatening missions in the world's worst trouble spots, whether that meant jumping out of airplanes, taking down hostile ships on the open sea, or rolling prisoners in the dead of night in the mountains of Afghanistan. As a Navy SEAL, he learned how to manage the natural impulse to panic in the face of terrifying situations. As media CEO and national television commentator, he has learned how to apply those same skills in civilian life.
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slow start
- By adam govoni on 09-03-18
By: Brandon Webb, and others
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Violence of Mind
- Training and Preparation for Extreme Violence
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A book covering the topic of self-defense from a shocking, firsthand perspective. The subjects of criminal violence, self-defense, lethal force, mindset, firearms training, and concealment have never been introduced so comprehensively in one place.
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Awesome Book!!
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By: Varg Freeborn
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Facing Violence
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- By: Rory Miller, Barry Eisler
- Narrated by: Danny Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Rory Miller's Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected includes seven elements that must be addressed to bring self-defense training to something approaching complete. These elements are: legal and ethical implications, violence dynamics, avoidance, counter-ambush, breaking the freeze, the fight itself, and the aftermath. Training that dismisses any of these areas leaves you vulnerable.
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Very realistic views on violence
- By Bluegrass on 01-06-18
By: Rory Miller, and others
What listeners say about The Gift of Fear
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- MonicaJ
- 01-12-22
Profoundly impactful
This book was mentioned in a true crime podcast that I had listened to: ‘Stalked’
Every woman should read / listen to this book. It changed my awareness of my senses. I am so much more attentive to the subtle nuances of potential danger, but also, it made me think about my unfounded fears in a clear sober way! Thank you Gavin de Becker!
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14 people found this helpful
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- Capt Shaq
- 12-09-22
Excellent content - this will save lives!
Even with pretty significant experience in the field, I can honestly say I learned a lot from this book and opened up to new perspectives. I realize the points about Gun safety in the epilogue may stir some emotions, but as a certified firearms instructor, having trained thousands of gun owners over many years, I can confidently say there are many gun owners out there that should not have access to firearms in any normative society. I also all heartedly agree with the points made about gun manufacturers product liability. All in all, highly recommended!
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12 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-12-22
Every Woman should read!
I am not a woman, however, I can understand the vulnerability and fears they can have over a man. This book gives you an understanding of following your natural instinct in certain situations so as to best proactively protect yourself. He is a little antigun for my taste as I think a firearm is a woman's best defense, but overall the book is very interesting.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Virginia B
- 12-31-22
Worth the credit !
Excellent book! I learned a lot! I am buying a copy for my daughter. I think every woman should read it!
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1 person found this helpful
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- N. Moreno
- 01-17-23
True crime nerds/Criminal Justice Majors must listen.
This is an incredible book written by a very smart man. Audiobook format was great and narrated by the author himself. I learned many new things listening to this and it wasn’t event catered to my gender. Absolutely worth a listen/read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Able Notsham
- 06-24-23
A MUST READ for dv (any type) victims, attorneys, judges, family, doctors, caregivers of etc
This should be required reading for all above. PROFOUNDLY impactful. DO NOT HESITATE. It’s amazing!
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1 person found this helpful
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- TinaP
- 01-04-24
Validation of a not so crazy woman.
While we all have intuition, it is imperative we listen to our gut. I would rather be called "over reactive" than dead.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jeff
- 01-19-23
amazing
I learned a lot from this book and will use the lesson he talked about and applied them to my life.
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- MarianoGomez
- 01-26-23
Excellent read
I liked the stories, the author's voice, and the knowledge shared. I came to know about Gavin on Joe Rogan's podcast and he was a hell of entertaining; making me want to keep reading about him. Gaving is smart, well-lived, and insightful. Highly recommendable!
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- S.
- 06-22-23
Will Listen Again
Highly recommend. One of the few books I feel compelled to listen to again, almost as soon as I finished it.
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