
The Motherload
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Narrated by:
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Sarah Hoover
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By:
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Sarah Hoover
About this listen
An unflinching motherhood memoir that dares to ask what happens when “what to expect when you’re expecting” turns out to be months of rage, anguish, brain fog, and a total surrender of sex, career, and identity.
“A long overdue reality check.” —Oprah Daily
“Honest, unapologetic, and brutally funny.” —Stephanie Danler, New York Times bestselling author of Sweetbitter
A Most Anticipated Book of 2025 by Oprah Daily, Town & Country, and Brit + Co
“The kid was objectively a tiny worm, even worse, a worm with my nose.” Welcome to Sarah Hoover’s candid and propulsive take on motherhood where she turns the ecstatic narrative women have been fed—one of immediate connection to your child followed by a joyful path of maternal discovery—on its head.
Like most of us, Sarah Hoover grew up imagining a certain life for herself, and when she moved from Indiana to New York City to study art history, the life she’d imagined began falling into place. She got her degree in art history, landed a job in a gallery, made friends, and met interesting artists, one of whom became her husband. But when Hoover got pregnant, everything in her life began to unravel.
She felt like an imposter in her own body. She grew distant from her friends and husband. Anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame threatened to swallow her. She also experienced trauma at the hands of one of her doctors—a stark trigger. And when her son was born, there was no… joy.
Her despair was persistent, even with help, therapy, and pills. Grieving a lost identity and angry at the world around her, she found herself despising her baby, her husband, and herself. She was afraid it might not end. With the help of a doctor’s diagnosis, Hoover began to understand the cluster of symptoms that informed her experience—she was drowning in postpartum depression—and that she wasn’t a bad mother or a failed woman.
At its core, The Motherload is about learning to forgive yourself. It’s a rejection of the cultural idea of the mother as a perfect being. And it’s an honest, propulsive, and often funny take on the vicissitudes of marriage, life, and parenting—a motherhood memoir unlike any other.
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Once upon a Time
- The Captivating Life of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy
- By: Elizabeth Beller
- Narrated by: Emily Tremaine
- Length: 14 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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A quarter of a century after the plane crash that claimed the lives of John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife Carolyn, and her sister Lauren, the magnitude of this tragedy remains fresh. Yet, Carolyn is still an enigmatic figure, a woman whose life in the spotlight was besieged with misogyny and cruelty. Elizabeth Beller explores the real person behind the tabloid headlines and media frenzy. When she began dating America’s prince, Carolyn was increasingly thrust into an overwhelming spotlight filled with relentless paparazzi who reacted to her reserve with a campaign of harassment and vilification.
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Exaggeratingly Fawning
- By NedNickelson on 05-22-24
By: Elizabeth Beller
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Didion and Babitz
- By: Lili Anolik
- Narrated by: Lili Anolik, Emma Roberts
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Could you write what you write if you weren’t so tiny, Joan? —Eve Babitz, in a letter to Joan Didion, 1972. Joan Didion, revealed at last… Eve Babitz died on December 17, 2021. Found in the wrack, ruin, and filth of her apartment, a stack of boxes packed by her mother decades before. The boxes were pristine, the seals of duct tape unbroken. Inside, a lost world. This world turned for a certain number of years in the late sixties and early seventies, and centered on a two-story rental in a down-at-heel section of Hollywood.
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I’m still Team Joan
- By Dorothy L. Lipman on 11-16-24
By: Lili Anolik
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You'll Never Believe Me
- A Life of Lies, Second Tries, and Things I Should Only Tell My Therapist
- By: Kari Ferrell
- Narrated by: Kari Ferrell
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Before Anna Delvey, before the Tinder Swindler, there was Kari Ferrell. Adopted at a young age by a Mormon family in Utah, Kari struggled with questions of self-worth and identity as one of the few Asian Americans in her insulated community, leading her to run with the “bad crowd” in an effort to fit in. Soon, stealing from superstores turned into picking up men (and picking their pockets), and before she knew it, Kari had graduated from petty theft to Utah’s most wanted list. Though Kari was able to escape the Southwest, she couldn’t outrun her new moniker: the Hipster Grifter.
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Very interested and perfect the way she didn’t do too long in one area
- By Amazon Customer on 03-31-25
By: Kari Ferrell
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The Good Mother Myth
- Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom
- By: Nancy Reddy
- Narrated by: Sara Sheckells
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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When Nancy Reddy had her first child, she found herself suddenly confronted with the ideal of a perfect mother—a woman who was constantly available, endlessly patient, and immediately invested in her child to the exclusion of all else. Reddy had been raised by a single working mother, considered herself a feminist, and was well on her way to a PhD. Why did doing motherhood "right" feel so wrong? For answers, Reddy turned to the mid-20th century social scientists and psychologists whose work still forms the basis of so much of what we believe about parenting.
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Wish I had found this with my first
- By JM on 02-05-25
By: Nancy Reddy
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The Echoes
- A Novel
- By: Evie Wyld
- Narrated by: Sebastian Humphreys, Vivien Carter
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Max didn’t believe in an afterlife. Until he died. Now, as a reluctant ghost trying to work out why he is still here, he watches his girlfriend, Hannah, lost in grief in the apartment they shared and begins to realize how much of her life was invisible to him. In the weeks and months before Max’s death, Hannah was haunted by the secrets she left Australia to escape. A relationship with Max seemed to offer the potential of a fresh new chapter, but the past refused to stay hidden.
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Nothing to keep me interested.
- By Cari Brotherton on 03-07-25
By: Evie Wyld
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That's Life, So It Is
- A Candid, Raw Memoir of TV National Treasure
- By: Charlie Lawson
- Narrated by: Charlie Lawson
- Length: 15 hrs
- Unabridged
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The iconic actor best known for his role as Jim McDonald in Coronation Street, Charlie Lawson unveils a life as dramatic off-screen as his on-screen roles. In his own words, he recounts his shenanigans at boarding school, his experience of the Troubles in his native Northern Ireland, his time at drama school and his first acting roles–as well many boisterous nights out and a short-lived attempt to run an illicit club night in 1980s East London.
By: Charlie Lawson
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Dare I Say It
- Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause
- By: Naomi Watts, Mary Claire Haver MD
- Narrated by: Naomi Watts, Allyson Ryan
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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At thirty-six, Naomi Watts had just completed filming King Kong and was trying to start a family when she was told that she was on the brink of menopause. It is estimated that seventy-five million women in the United States are currently dealing with menopause symptoms (dry itchy skin, raging hormones, night sweats), and yet the very word “menopause” continues to be associated with stigma and confusion. With so little information, many women feel unprepared, ashamed, and deeply alone when the time comes. This is the book Naomi Watts wishes she had when she first started experiencing symptoms.
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Genuine & Real
- By Diane Best EBC on 05-02-25
By: Naomi Watts, and others
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The Waiting Game
- The Untold Story of the Women Who Served the Tudor Queens
- By: Nicola Clark
- Narrated by: Nicola Clark, Karen Cass
- Length: 11 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Every Tudor Queen had ladies-in-waiting. They were her confidantes and her chaperones. Only the Queen's ladies had the right to enter her most private chambers, spending hours helping her to get dressed and undressed, caring for her clothes and jewels, listening to her secrets. But they also held a unique power. A quiet word behind the scenes, an appropriately timed gift, a well-negotiated marriage alliance were all forms of political agency wielded expertly by women.
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One of the best!
- By Patt LaPierre on 01-13-25
By: Nicola Clark
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The Mother Next Door
- Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy
- By: Andrea Dunlop, Mike Weber
- Narrated by: Andrea Dunlop
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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No bond is more sacred than the one between a mother and child. And no figure is more sympathetic than a mother whose child faces a life-threatening illness. But what if the mother is the reason for the illness? What if the sympathy is the point? With help from some of the top MBP experts in the world, Dunlop and Weber uncover the complex maze of psychological, systemic, and cultural issues that compound MBP and offer solutions for how we might find our way out.
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Compelling handling of maternal abuse
- By Mother Of Hope on 04-30-25
By: Andrea Dunlop, and others
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The Harder I Fight the More I Love You
- A Memoir
- By: Neko Case
- Narrated by: Neko Case
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In The Harder I Fight the More I Love You, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally acclaimed talent.
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Made me tear at times
- By Kelly Baer on 05-01-25
By: Neko Case
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Motherkind
- By: Zoe Blaskey
- Narrated by: Zoe Blaskey
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern motherhood is insane. We’re expected to parent perfectly, bounce back, enjoy every moment, forge ahead at work and keep smiling through all the endless expectations – all whilst forgetting about ourselves.
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It felt like a hug
- By Susan on 02-18-25
By: Zoe Blaskey
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I'll Never Call Him Dad Again
- Turning Our Family Trauma of Sexual Assault and Chemical Submission into a Collective Fight
- By: Caroline Darian, Stephen Brown - translator
- Narrated by: Heather Long, Caroline Darian
- Length: 4 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The trial of Dominique Pelicot has captured the world's attention. Behind Pelicot's unthinkable crimes are a mother, Gisèle Pelicot, and her daughter, Caroline Darian, who were forced to rebuild their lives. This is their story.
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Beyond Words
- By Debra Nelson on 03-19-25
By: Caroline Darian, and others
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You Can't Have It All
- The Basic B*tch Guide to Taking the Pressure Off
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time New York Times bestselling author, OG Vanderpump Rules star, and host of the successful chart-topping podcast Stassi is back and better than ever with a candid guide to rethinking the girlboss life, taking the pressure off, and lessons she’s learned since becoming a mom of two.
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Relatable
- By Mandi Wasik on 10-07-24
By: Stassi Schroeder
What listeners say about The Motherload
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- evan
- 02-19-25
Meaningful, difficult, funny
While the protracted description of her depressed brain’s defective thinking could be tedious at times, I think this is an important description of what postpartum depression can be like. I think it could be useful to women to understand the possible variance of symptoms in the condition and hear a story about how to overcome it. This book captures much of the emotional depth and complexity of motherhood, how joyful, profound, and harrowing it can be all at once. I also appreciated the discussion on how personal identity fluctuates during the process of becoming a mom. I found that relatable and true. Essentially, no holds barred here. I meaningful work that validates any feelings or experience about becoming a mom.
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- Alexandra Kornblum
- 02-01-25
Absolutely devoured this!
Honest, funny, and vulnerable. Great book/audiobook. Highly recommend this. And the author does a great job of narrating.
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- Emily Jarman
- 02-21-25
Full circle journey
Real, vulnerable, and engaging. While the first half of the book may be almost scary for expecting moms, I felt proud of and inspired by the author’s personal growth by the end. -mom to a toddler
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- Vanessa Brack
- 02-12-25
A real, honest account of new motherhood
I’ve been pregnant four times, birthing three (lost one), So I’ve been through the motherhood experience. Sarah covers countless areas of new motherhood in the realist way, and her narration was lovely. This is how my friends and I talk about motherhood. It was refreshing and also took me right back to some of the most painful parts of those early years. It was definitely a hurts so good situation. I always appreciate honesty in experiences. We’re not alone. We’re all connected. TBH, I’ll listen again in about six months just to enjoy it all over again.
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- Erica Wrobel
- 01-28-25
A great unfiltered perspective of becoming a mother
I loved the authors performance, it felt like catching up with a girlfriend. I love the author’s descriptions, she really paints a picture - which is so fitting for her. I felt a spectrum of emotions while listening to this book. I loved how raw, real, and truthful she is about her experiences. Would recommend to anyone who has become a mom.
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- robert figueroa
- 01-31-25
Amazing! 10/10
Loved everything about this book. Very raw, honest, vulnerable and just straight up relatable. I encourage all first time pregnant people to read and take notes especially when it comes to prepping n planning for the birth of your baby and your postpartum recovery…. As a society we fail to prep and plan for allllllllllll the changes that comes with becoming a parent for the first time. One of the biggest and hardest emotions I believe always comes up for first time parents is Grief…. Grief from the freedom and carefree life you had prior to now being on 24/7 baby duties from one second to the next. ITS HARDDDDD regardless if your 16 yrs old or 40! I love how this memoir takes you on her journey through it all and how she was able to find herself out of that dark time and find joy and happiness again.
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- k vonnnegut
- 01-20-25
Great book!
Honest. Raw. Relatable. Hilarious. Gut wrenching. Un-put-down-able. Healing. Sarah Hoover vulnerably and shamelessly writes about the paradoxes of motherhood by sharing her story.
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- Hayley Krach
- 04-23-25
Raw intimate thoughts that moms don’t talk about!
Personal story that is both unique and not unique to a lot of moms with nice reading
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-27-25
The rawness and realness
What a book, I finished it in just a few days. A must read for any mother and any woman.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-17-25
Messy, real, hilarious
The most honest and relatable account of motherhood. Well written and intriguing. I love the way art is weaved into the articulation of the transition from woman to mother.
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