
Us, After
A Memoir of Love and Suicide
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Narrated by:
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Rachel Zimmerman
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By:
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Rachel Zimmerman
About this listen
When a state trooper appeared at Rachel Zimmerman’s door to report that her husband had jumped to his death off a nearby bridge, she fell to her knees, unable to fully absorb the news. How could the man she’d married, a devoted father and robotics professor at MIT, have committed such a violent act? How would she explain this to her young daughters? And could she have stopped him?
A longtime journalist, she probed obsessively, believing answers would help her survive. She interviewed doctors, suicide researchers, and a man who jumped off the same bridge and lived.
Us, After examines domestic devastation and resurgence, digging into the struggle between public and private selves, life’s shifting perspectives, the work of motherhood, and the secrets we keep. In this memoir, Zimmerman confronts the unimaginable and discovers the good in what remains.
“This poignant, soul-baring memoir is truly one of the most moving accounts of grief, loss and resilience that I’ve read.”—Tara Parker-Pope, The Washington Post
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Carmen Rita Wong has always craved a sense of belonging: First as a toddler in a warm room full of Black and brown Latina women, like her mother, Lupe, cheering her dancing during her childhood in Harlem. And in Chinatown, where her immigrant father, “Papi” Wong, a hustler, would show her and her older brother off in opulent restaurants decorated in red and gold. Then came the almost exclusively white playgrounds of New Hampshire after her mother married her stepfather, Marty, who seemed to be the ideal of the white American dad.
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Why didn’t they tell me this was such a negative listen?
- By laurie on 09-24-22
By: Carmen Rita Wong
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Suicide Notes
- By: Michael Thomas Ford
- Narrated by: Barrett Leddy
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Fifteen-year-old Jeff wakes up on New Year’s Day to find himself in the hospital—specifically, in the psychiatric ward. Despite the bandages on his wrists, he’s positive this is all some huge mistake. Jeff is perfectly fine, perfectly normal; not like the other kids in the hospital with him. But over the course of the next forty-five days, Jeff begins to understand why he ended up here—and realizes he has more in common with the other kids than he thought.
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Extremely problematic
- By Pink Amy on 01-04-24
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The Harder I Fight the More I Love You
- A Memoir
- By: Neko Case
- Narrated by: Neko Case
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In The Harder I Fight the More I Love You, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally acclaimed talent.
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Made me tear at times
- By Kelly Baer on 05-01-25
By: Neko Case
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The Mother Next Door
- Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy
- By: Andrea Dunlop, Mike Weber
- Narrated by: Andrea Dunlop
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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No bond is more sacred than the one between a mother and child. And no figure is more sympathetic than a mother whose child faces a life-threatening illness. But what if the mother is the reason for the illness? What if the sympathy is the point? With help from some of the top MBP experts in the world, Dunlop and Weber uncover the complex maze of psychological, systemic, and cultural issues that compound MBP and offer solutions for how we might find our way out.
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Compelling handling of maternal abuse
- By Mother Of Hope on 04-30-25
By: Andrea Dunlop, and others
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Good Morning, Monster
- A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Deborah Burgess
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In this fascinating narrative, therapist Catherine Gildiner presents five of what she calls her most heroic and memorable patients. Among them: A successful, first-generation Chinese immigrant musician suffering sexual dysfunction; a young woman whose father abandoned her at age nine with her younger siblings in an isolated cottage in the depth of winter; and a glamorous workaholic whose narcissistic, negligent mother greeted her each morning of her childhood with "Good morning, Monster". Each patient presents a mystery, one that will only be unpacked over years.
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some things shouldn't be consumed
- By Jess on 12-28-22
What listeners say about Us, After
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-13-24
Gripping!
Amazing detailed story of surviving grief and finding forward movement while honoring such a special man. 🙏
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- Lisa Fiano
- 09-15-24
Beautiful memoir of grief and life
Rachel’s exploration of her husband’s death and the impact on her life and the life of her daughters is moving and beautiful. A relatable and inspiring story for anyone who has experienced an important loss. It’s a reminder that we are not alone and life is worth living and fighting for.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-05-24
There’s no “good suicide”
Though it was mentioned a few times by the author it may help others to know before reading that the extraordinary resources, access and support, available to this family create a dreamscape for overcoming tragedy. So much so the author calls it a “good suicide”. Though unintended this feels dangerous for obvious reasons. Your family will not be better off without you.
As a survivor of familial suicide I found it engaging and well told but unrelatable. The privilege to have physical circumstances unchanged and access to so many experts to ask all the questions reads like a fairytale. It does help prove no matter how much money and determination there are no answers to why.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kelly McEntee
- 09-09-24
Surviving Suicide Loss
I’ll get the don’t-like out of the way. I don’t like that any of us have to experience the loss of a loved one to suicide. In shortest form, all our stories say how incredibly awful and barely survivable it is, and then gradually it gets better, and there are blobs of more awful and shining happiness along our path.
What I like the most is that Rachel, with her honesty, integrity, talent, skills, and everything else, was the person to write it. This book in this time should become the new classic read for those surviving the loss of a loved one to suicide. It has been 25 years for me but I was still riveted to the writing.
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- Linda R.
- 07-02-24
Heartbreaking, but uplifting
Zimmerman’s memoir is a heartfelt and moving story about her husband’s sudden suicide, which left her and their two young daughters shocked and heartbroken. As a journalist, Zimmerman is determined to understand why her loving husband took such a drastic step and what drives other seemingly happy people to do the same. She dives into her personal story and combines it with her research on suicide, including interviews with psychiatrists and experts.
As a mom, Zimmerman’s top priority is making sure her daughters can still have happy, normal childhoods. The way the story jumps between events before and after the tragedy gives readers a better picture of what happened and how everyone coped.
Listening to the audiobook, narrated by Zimmerman herself, makes the emotions in the story feel even more real. And don’t worry, despite the heavy topic, the book ends on a hopeful note that leaves you feeling uplifted.
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- nancy
- 03-25-25
A family’s Raw Grief after suicide
An intimate description of the long term experience of surviving the suicide of a spouse. The journey of coping with self doubt afterwards and the challenges of ongoing parenthood in the aftermath are brought to the reader in heartbreaking detail
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- Amy
- 07-02-24
Couldn’t stop listening
A very real scenario. Rachel is a phenomenally gifted writer. Lots of wisdom in her words, with ten years of reflection.
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- Sunny
- 07-24-24
Beautiful and gripping
What a beautiful and gripping story - and how Zimmerman presents the story, how it unfolds in the book, is masterful. Loved it.
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