
The Social Paradox
Autonomy, Connection, and Why We Need Both to Find Happiness
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Narrated by:
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Josh Bloomberg
About this listen
A Next Big Idea Club Must Read of February 2025
From the author of The Social Leap comes this thought-provoking exploration into humans’ two core evolutionary needs, for connection and autonomy, how the modern world has thrown them out of whack, and how we can rebalance them to improve our lives.
Why do people who have so much—leading comfortable lives filled with unprecedented freedom, choice, and abundance—often feel so unhappy and unfulfilled? This phenomenon is a defining paradox of our time and one we endlessly seek to solve. In The Social Paradox, psychologist William von Hippel argues that we need to think about this problem in a new way. By changing our perspective, we might finally see the solution, bringing us greater happiness and more satisfying relationships.
The key is to understand the interplay between our two most basic psychological needs—for connection and autonomy. Evolution made us dependent on one another for survival, instilling in us a strong need to connect. It also made us seek autonomy, so our ancestors could distinguish themselves within their groups, improving their chances to procreate and gain status.
These two opposing needs are our most fundamental psychological drivers, and while our lives once ensured a happy balance between them, the opportunities of today’s world have thrown it out of whack. As von Hippel explains, our modern world no longer demands connection but it provides endless opportunity for autonomy; this lopsidedness lies at the root of many of our most intractable problems. Recognizing this imbalance and working to counter it can drastically change how we make decisions, spend our time, and find happiness.
The Social Paradox invites us to examine the fundamental building blocks of life and society—politics, religion, urban living, marriage—in a brand-new way. Once we understand the evolutionary forces driving us, we can begin to see how to counteract the emptiness and loneliness of contemporary life.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s easy to assume that liberals and conservatives have radically different moral foundations. In Outraged, Kurt Gray showcases the latest science to demonstrate that we all have the same moral mind—that everyone’s moral judgments stem from feeling threatened or vulnerable to harm, and provides a captivating new explanation for our moral outrage, and unpacks how to best bridge divides. If you want to understand the morals of the “other side,” ask yourself a simple question—what harms do they see?
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Great book. Horrible narrator.
- By Sara Stall-Ryan on 02-22-25
By: Kurt Gray
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A Story Is a Deal
- How to use the science of storytelling to lead, motivate and persuade
- By: Will Storr
- Narrated by: Will Storr
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In this highly anticipated follow-up to the Sunday Times bestseller THE SCIENCE OF STORYTELLING, acclaimed story guru Will Storr shows you how to engage and influence your audience to create irresistible pitches, build rock solid brand loyalty, motivate teams and lead with charisma and authenticity. With examples ranging from Aztec rituals to Apple's legendary advertising successes (and long-forgotten fails), A STORY IS A DEAL lays out a revolutionary new method for creating the most persuasive messaging: by harnessing the power of our storytelling brains.
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Amazing and deep book poorly read
- By Artem Mushin-Makedonskiy on 04-24-25
By: Will Storr
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Dreaming Reality
- How Neuroscience and Mysticism Can Unlock the Secrets of Consciousness
- By: Vladimir Miskovic, Steven Jay Lynn
- Narrated by: Lesa Lockford
- Length: 14 hrs
- Unabridged
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We are nothing but a pack of neurons, Francis Crick once said. Vladimir Miskovic and Steven Jay Lynn show that this way of thinking is both limited and an obstacle to understanding consciousness. In Dreaming Reality, Miskovic and Lynn connect the latest findings from neuroscience—which studies the brain from the outside in, as a purely physical object—to the insights of the world’s mystical traditions, which chart elaborate cartographies of the mind from inside out through experiences of meditation, prayer, and ecstasy.
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Marvelous
- By J. N. on 02-15-25
By: Vladimir Miskovic, and others
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The Sexual Evolution
- How 500 Million Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships
- By: Nathan H. Lents
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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An Immense World meets Sex at Dawn in this fascinating exploration of sexual behavior throughout the animal kingdom, as evolutionary biologist Nathan H. Lents argues persuasively that many of our supposedly modern ideas about gender and human sexuality are, in fact, deeply rooted in our animal ancestors.
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The surprising science of sexual and gender diversity
- By Jacob Brenner on 05-02-25
By: Nathan H. Lents
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Sleep Groove
- Why Your Body's Clock Is So Messed Up and What to Do About It
- By: Olivia Walch
- Narrated by: Meg Runyan
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Sleep Groove introduces listeners to the easy-to-understand but often misunderstood concepts and science behind circadian rhythms and how changes in daily habits can greatly improve one's sleep patterns and quality of life. Through conversational writing and humorous analogies, this book helps explain the nuances of sleep using the latest in sleep research and technology, delving into sleep-related issues like light sensitivity, jet lag, daylight savings time, napping, and how to establishing rhythmicity in our waking and sleeping routines.
By: Olivia Walch
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What the Body Knows
- A Guide to the New Science of Our Immune System
- By: John Trowsdale
- Narrated by: Mike Cooper
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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What is our immune system, and how does it work? A vast array of cells, proteins and chemicals spring into action whenever our bodies are damaged, but immunity is not something you can see, touch, or feel. It can fight off malicious bacteria and viruses, locate cancerous growths, and even rewire our brains—but sometimes our own tissues can get caught in its crossfire, with catastrophic consequences. Humans may be the most disease-ridden animals on the planet. Professor John Trowsdale shows how the immune system protects us, and how our bodies invest huge resources to keep it running.
By: John Trowsdale
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The Third Awokening
- A 12-Point Plan for Rolling Back Progressive Extremism
- By: Eric Kaufmann
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 16 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Woke is not a fad but a cultural revolution—a movement that can only be stopped by a drastic intervention in our institutions and culture. We in the West are in the third wave of cultural-left ideological enthusiasm. Each “Awokening” has crested, fallen a little, consolidated, then surged again to reach a higher level. The cumulative result is an elite creed which has produced a crime wave, a worsening education system, chaos at the border, and social division. Fired by a cultural socialism that puts equal results and emotional protection for minorities at the center of their moral ...
By: Eric Kaufmann
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Microdosing for Health, Healing, and Enhanced Performance
- By: James Fadiman PhD, Jordan Gruber JD
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Microdosing is proving to be a safe and powerful approach to a wide range of health conditions and enhanced performance. Partly responsible for modern microdosing’s development and current popularity, the authors answer hundreds of questions, blending extensive research with detailed personal accounts from contributors worldwide. The book also contains wide-ranging microdosing history, research, and science.
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That the day after Microdosing one feels amazing. This has been my experience.
- By Rachel Park on 05-30-25
By: James Fadiman PhD, and others
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The Science of Racism
- Everything You Need to Know but Probably Don't—Yet
- By: Keon West
- Narrated by: Keon West
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In this frank, funny, and meticulous book, a leading social scientist lays out the striking facts we know about racism, how we have uncovered them, and how we can start to fix them.
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thorough and eye-opening
- By kale on 04-24-25
By: Keon West
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The Social Genome
- The New Science of Nature and Nurture
- By: Dalton Conley
- Narrated by: Christopher Douyard
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Sociogenomics brings together advances in molecular genetics and traditional social and behavioral science. The key tool is the polygenic index, which allows us to analyze DNA to measure a child's genetic potential. Today, we can estimate a child's adult height, how far they will go in school, and their weight as an adult—all from a cheek swab, finger prick, or vial of saliva. Dalton Conley and other researchers are using this new science to shed light on the ways in which genes shape our world, influencing how each person both creates and responds to the environment around them.
By: Dalton Conley
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Brain Boost
- Healthy Habits for a Happier Life
- By: Dr. Barbara J. Sahakian, Dr. Christelle Langley
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Your mental health is as important as your physical health and, in times of stress, it's vital to have enhanced cognition and reserves of resilience. This book is packed with practical tips, based on scientific evidence, that will teach you how to implement lifestyle strategies that will improve your brain health, cognition, and overall well-being.
By: Dr. Barbara J. Sahakian, and others
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Employment Is Dead
- How Disruptive Technologies Are Revolutionizing the Way We Work
- By: Deborah Perry Piscione, Josh Drean
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Business is on the cusp of an inevitable and profound transformation. The tools of tomorrow will amplify human potential, from collaborating in virtual spaces through digital avatars, to managing transactions transparently on the blockchain. Those who embrace these technologies—and the manner in which people want to work—will unleash unprecedented levels of productivity and innovation. Conversely, those who remain tethered to outdated work patterns risk losing out on the best talent, and even becoming obsolete.
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AI is Rapidly Changing Today’s Workforce
- By Hayley on 02-18-25
By: Deborah Perry Piscione, and others
The author's thesis is to look along one axiom for satisfaction in life, that being autonomy vs. connection which he defines well in the book but not worth repeating for the sake of this review. The concept seemed oversimplified to me at first, but the more I stewed on this the more plausible it seemed. This idea is heavily grounded in evolutionary thinking and therefore rock solid IMO - he lays out enough evidence and (dare I say) anecdote to convince anyone who's not already oriented in this direction like I am, and does a wonderful job outlining the pitfalls of such thinking and what we can really know vs. speculate upon.
Back to his thesis, I would love to see a follow up (and I will be writing to him about this), about how this axiom seemingly evolved to solve the 2 separate (but related) problems of evolution, those being autonomy for reproductive fitness vs. connection for survival. Our modern (Western) culture has all but solved the problem of survival so we tend to put our efforts into efforts that differentiate us in the mating pool, but since our genes haven't caught up to culture yet, we're left with more mental health issues and lack of overall life satisfaction we could have ever imagined. It is in this understanding where we can move the ball forward towards solving these problems in our own lives, to which Dr. Von Hippel offers potential solutions at the end, but to each individual reader (or at least for me) it seems like only the beginning!
Huge potential for application in life
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Very interesting
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Excellent perspective
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