Rose Malone’s landlord and employer, Ozzie Oswald, just died, and now she has no idea if she has a job or if she and her daughter, Poppy, have a place to live, and that’s on top of the arrest warrant that’s been out for her for nineteen years. Then a stranger shows up claiming to be Ozzie’s son and tries to throw her out, so she swings a reproduction of the Maltese Falcon at him, and just as she’s about to finish him off in a rage, somebody grabs him and throws him into the street.

Somebody is killing the women of Rocky Start, which probably seems fair since they’re all retired assassins. Well, not all. There’s Rose Malone who’s trying to start her life over with herself at the center this time, once she stops her daughter, Poppy, from taking their secondhand shop online since Rose is still hiding out from the cops (nineteen years and still not in jail). She’d also like to have her lover back from the Appalachian Trail, but first, there’s this attempted assassination she has to foil.

Liz Danger has returned home after fifteen years to deliver a giant teddy bear for her mother’s birthday (color: Guilt Red) when a cop with a great ass picks her up for speeding, fixes the missing lug nuts on her back wheel, pulls her out of a ditch, doesn’t give her a ticket, and helps her avoid her family. This is a man with real potential. The rest of the day goes downhill, starting with her finding out that the only man she’s ever loved is getting married to Lavender Blue, the most beautiful woman in southern Ohio. Really, the best thing in her day is that cop with the lug nuts.

Agnes Crandall's life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she's staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane - no last name, just Shane - and he has his own problems.

Leona Griffin is at the height of her career as a para-archeologist thanks to a recent Underworld discovery. Her high profile attracts the attention of an organization of elite, secretive collectors. They want her to authenticate the artifacts that aspiring members submit as evidence to join their group. The ceremony takes place at a glittering reception where Leona is shocked to discover that one of the relics is a powerful Old-World object known as Pandora's Box. But she's not the only one interested in that artifact.