The Defining Decade
Why Your Twenties Matter - and How to Make the Most of Them Now
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Narrated by:
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Meg Jay
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By:
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Meg Jay
About this listen
New York Times best-selling psychologist Dr. Meg Jay uses real stories from real lives to provide smart, compassionate, and constructive advice about the crucial (and difficult) years we cannot afford to miss.
Our "30-is-the-new-20" culture tells us the 20-something years don't matter. Some say they are a second adolescence. Others call them an emerging adulthood. Dr. Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, argues that 20-somethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and misinformation, much of which has trivialized what is actually the most defining decade of adulthood.
Drawing from almost two decades of work with hundreds of clients and students, The Defining Decade weaves the latest science of the 20-something years with the behind-closed-doors stories from 20-somethings, themselves. The result is a provocative listen that provides the tools necessary to make the most of your 20s, and shows us how work, relationships, personality, social networks, identity, and even the brain can change more during this decade than at any other time in adulthood - if we use the time wisely.
The Defining Decade is a smart, compassionate and constructive book about the years we cannot afford to miss.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2012 Meg Jay (P)2021 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Men have been the dominant sex since - well, the dawn of mankind. And yet, as journalist Hanna Rosin discovered, that long-held truth is no longer true. At this unprecedented moment, women are no longer merely gaining on men; they have pulled decisively ahead by almost every measure. Already "the end of men" - the phrase Rosin coined - has entered the lexicon as indelibly as Simone de Beauvoir’s "second sex", Betty Friedan’s "feminine mystique", Susan Faludi’s "backlash", and Naomi Wolf’s "beauty myth" have.
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Great book, don't care for the reader's style
- By Darren on 12-05-12
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Have a New You by Friday
- How to Accept Yourself, Boost Your Confidence & Change Your Life in 5 Days
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Story
How many times have you tried to change your own habits, only to find that changing yourself is even harder than trying to change someone else? With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, Dr. Kevin Leman walks you through your own personal five-day action plan. You will come to accept the truth about yourself, boost your confidence by identifying the lies you’re telling yourself (and putting them to rest for good), and change your life by concentrating on becoming who you really want to be.
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Wrong title?
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Getting to 50/50
- How Working Parents Can Have It All by Sharing It All - and Why It’s Good for Your Marriage, Your Career, Your Kids, and You
- By: Sharon Meers, Joanna Strober
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Story
Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober are professionals, wives, and mothers. They understand the challenges and rewards of two-career households. They also know that families thrive not in spite of working mothers but because of them. You can have a great career, a great marriage, and be a great mother. The key is tapping into your best resource and most powerful ally - the man you married.
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Great overall, but a bit offensive...
- By Tristan Matthews on 01-09-15
By: Sharon Meers, and others
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Generation Me
- Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled - and More Miserable Than Ever Before
- By: Jean M. Twenge PhD
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
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Overall
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In this provocative new book, psychologist and social commentator Dr. Jean Twenge documents the self-focus of what she calls "Generation Me" - people born in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. Dr. Twenge explores why her generation is tolerant, confident, open-minded, and ambitious but also cynical, depressed, lonely, and anxious. Dr. Twenge reveals how profoundly different today's young adults are - and makes controversial predictions about what the future holds for them and society as a whole.
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I mostly agree
- By David Hill on 05-25-20
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The Dating Manifesto
- A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose
- By: Lisa Anderson
- Narrated by: Jaimee Draper
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Face it, your attitudes about marriage and the path to marriage are probably wrong. Some you've inherited, some you've simply bought - hook, line, and sinker - and some you've made up yourself. They have translated into bad action (or no action) in dating and relationships. But it's not too late; you can break the cycle of dating dysfunction and learn to honor marriage, marry well, and live intentionally while you wait.
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Modern and biblical
- By Ian on 08-12-15
By: Lisa Anderson
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Modern Romance
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- By: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
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At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
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Entertaining and informative
- By ty on 08-23-15
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The Big Life
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The Big Life is packed with actionable guidance combined with personal advice from high-profile millennial women who have already achieved tremendous success, plus intimate conversations with a cast of compelling characters and Shoket's own stories on her quest for The Big Life. You'll learn to tackle all of the issues on heavy rotation in your mind.
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Just OK
- By Alexandra Medina on 05-15-17
By: Ann Shoket
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Finding Your Own North Star
- Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
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Overall
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As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Stars and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.
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Narration not for me
- By MARYANN ORDONEZ on 10-02-17
By: Martha Beck
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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Overwhelmed
- Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time
- By: Brigid Schulte
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
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Overall
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According to the Leisure Studies Department at the University of Iowa, true leisure is “that place in which we realize our humanity.” If that’s true, argues Brigid Schulte, then we're doing dangerously little realizing of our humanity. In Overwhelmed, Schulte, a staff writer for The Washington Post, asks: Are our brains, our partners, our culture, and our bosses making it impossible for us to experience anything but “contaminated time”?
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Depressing, Dreary Listening Experience
- By Deb A on 04-19-15
By: Brigid Schulte
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What listeners say about The Defining Decade
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Alquidaris Baez
- 03-24-21
Mind opening
I’m turning 21 soon and was heading in the same direction of some these 20 something year olds. Made me really put my life into perspective.
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- Ken
- 12-20-21
SPECIFIC Advice (not the cliche stuff)
Wow! I’m so glad I listened to The Defining Decade. This has lots of good, SPECIFIC advice. Not the cliche “follow your dreams” stuff. I’m talking the real advice most people don’t think about. Meg Jay explains why committing to a long term relationship and ditching hookup culture in our 20s matters, and why getting engaged BEFORE moving in with our partner might be a good idea. Best of all, she backs her reasoning with data and statistics. She cites empirical research showing that people who make a few key decisions in their 20s end up far happier than those who don’t. Want to know what those key decisions are? Listen to (or read) The Defining Decade.
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- Cassandra
- 12-05-21
Awesome book
This entire book was great and so insightful. Wish the author could be my therapist.
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- Catherine Heckler
- 09-10-21
Incredible. Life changing. Relatable
This really light a fire under my ass. I’m in my twenties and feel stuck. This book helped me so much.
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- Mark Estrada
- 12-01-22
Needed for every 20 something
Seriously just read it. I can’t express how much I needed to hear this book.
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- Lucy
- 01-19-23
Helpful - practical for real life
Would recommend this book to anyone feeling lost! Was like going to therapy. Easy to keep listening.
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- Tea Monet
- 03-01-23
Just what I needed
In my mid 20s, trying to figure out things. This book was a great place to start. It’s not giving you the answers but giving you questions to help set your foundation👌
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- Anonymous User
- 03-06-23
Wake Up Call
As an adult in my mid-twenties, this book gave me the wake-up call that I needed to intelligently walk through the remainder of this decade confidently.
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- Rei
- 06-06-23
“There is no better time than the present” Explained
I feel like I knew how precious time was. Yet, while reading this, i could see in my life where i took it for granted. There was a disconnect between knowing and understanding.
I feel like i have a much better grasp on how my adult-life will play out or, at least, how it could and what i should do to create the future i want. A big part of that is not joking with myself about what i want and don’t want. I shouldn’t be indecisive or leave that consideration for a later, undefined date.
I am really grateful for the guidance and clarity. While a bit overwhelming, I feel equipped to confidently move forward intentionally into the life i want.
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- Cristine Tozser
- 09-21-23
Best Book Ever!!!
Im 27 and I wish I read this book earlier! What a wake up call! Loved all the stories & insight & the new perspective its given me.
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