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How to Hold a Grudge
- From Resentment to Contentment - the Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life
- Narrated by: Sophie Hannah
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's summary
The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge-holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self.
Secretly, we all hold grudges, but most of us probably think we shouldn’t, and many of us deny that we do. To bear a grudge is too negative, right? Shouldn’t we just forgive and move on? Wrong, says self-appointed grudge guru Sophie Hannah, in her groundbreaking and irreverent self-help guide. Yes, it’s essential to think positively if we want to live happy lives, but even more crucial is how we get to the positive. Denying our negative emotions and experiences is likely to lead only to more pain, conflict, and stress.
What if our grudges are good for us? What if we could embrace them, and use them to help ourselves and others, instead of feeling ashamed of our inability to banish negative emotions and memories from our lives? With contributions from expert psychotherapists as well as extracts from her own extensive catalog of grudges, Sophie Hannah investigates the psychological origins of grudges and also offers not-so-obvious insights into how we should acknowledge - and embrace - them in order to improve the quality of our interpersonal relationships and senses of self. Grudges do not have to fill us with hate or make us toxic, bitter, and miserable. If we approach the practice of grudge-holding in an enlightened way, it will do the opposite - we will become more forgiving.
Practical, compassionate, and downright funny, How to Hold a Grudge reveals everything we need to know about the many different forms of grudge, the difference between a grudge and not-a-grudge (not as obvious as it seems), when we should let a grudge go, and how to honor a grudge and distill lessons from it that will turn us into better, happier people - for our own benefit and for the sake of spreading good and limiting harm in the world.
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It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
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Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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Make Miracles in Forty Days
- Turning What You Have into What You Want
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
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Melody Beattie has been a trusted counselor for millions of people for more than 25 years. Her books are infinitely relatable, flush with candor and insights, and rooted in firsthand experience. Make Miracles in Forty Days is punctuated with Beattie's own stirring stories of overcoming obstacles and dealing with life's tragedies.
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"An Amazing Book"
- By Liz on 03-19-11
By: Melody Beattie
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Have a New You by Friday
- How to Accept Yourself, Boost Your Confidence & Change Your Life in 5 Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Wayne Shepherd
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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How many times have you tried to change your own habits, only to find that changing yourself is even harder than trying to change someone else? With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, Dr. Kevin Leman walks you through your own personal five-day action plan. You will come to accept the truth about yourself, boost your confidence by identifying the lies you’re telling yourself (and putting them to rest for good), and change your life by concentrating on becoming who you really want to be.
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Wrong title?
- By Marianne on 03-25-11
By: Kevin Leman
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Feeling Good Together
- The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work
- By: David D. Burns MD
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
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Based on 25 years of clinical experience and new, groundbreaking research involving more than 1,000 individuals, Feeling Good Together is filled with helpful examples and tools, such as the Relationship Satisfaction Test, the Blame Cost-Benefit Analysis, the Relationship Journal, Five Secrets of Effective Communication, the Intimacy Exercise, and more. Using these techniques, Dr. Burns shows you how to resolve virtually any kind of relationship conflict almost instantly.
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Best yet for communications Skills
- By Jeffrey J. Ardo on 03-20-10
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Finding Your Own North Star
- Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
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- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
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As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Stars and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.
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Narration not for me
- By MARYANN ORDONEZ on 10-02-17
By: Martha Beck
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Super You
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- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
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You Can Heal Your Heart
- Finding Peace After a Breakup, Divorce, or Death
- By: Louise L. Hay
- Narrated by: David Kessler
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In You Can Heal Your Heart, self-empowerment luminary Louise Hay and renowned grief and loss expert David Kessler have come together to start a conversation on healing after loss. Louise and David discuss the emotions and thoughts that occur when a relationship leaves you brokenhearted, a marriage ends in divorce, or a loved one dies.
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Good Information, Poor Narration.
- By Ryan Healey on 04-20-14
By: Louise L. Hay
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Everything Happens for a Reason
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- By: Mira Kirshenbaum
- Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
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In each of our lives we are faced with events that seem inexplicable, unjust, even cruel - events that can shatter our perception of the world, our understanding of ourselves, and our faith in a higher power. Friends and family members often offer comfort with "Everything happens for a reason" - a simple, common phrase with an unbearably elusive meaning. In Everything Happens for a Reason, psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum helps us understand the principles behind this frequently used phrase and provides us with tools to grasp its true meaning.
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Excellent!!!! Listened to it 3X
- By TTR on 06-19-24
By: Mira Kirshenbaum
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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The Power of No
- Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness
- By: James Altucher, Claudia Azula Altucher
- Narrated by: James Altucher, Claudia Azula Altucher
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
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"No" is sometimes the hardest word to say. It's also the most necessary. How many times have you heard yourself saying yes to the wrong things - overwhelming requests, bad relationships, time-consuming obligations? How often have you wished you could summon the power to turn them down? This program will help you take back your power by showing that a well-placed "No" can not only save you time and trouble, it can save your life.
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Some really bad advice...
- By Elton on 10-25-14
By: James Altucher, and others
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Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
- By: Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
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Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
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Dissapointed
- By Aaron Olson on 11-04-15
By: Mark Goulston MD
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It’s hard to give up on the feeling that the life you really want is just out of reach. A beach body by summer. A trip to Disneyland around the corner. A promotion on the horizon. Everyone wants to believe that they are headed toward good, better, best. But what happens when the life you hoped for is put on hold indefinitely?
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What listeners say about How to Hold a Grudge
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gold3nLily
- 07-22-19
Immensely helpful
This is one of the best books I’ve ever read and I’m sure I will read it many more times. It’s concise, helpful, and funny.
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- Julia
- 01-18-19
Amazing Tool for people with Autistic Traits, etc.
Sometimes a formulaic approach is clarifying, that which is measured, matters. This author is generous with her personal stories and learning curves and her grudge diamond scale is a true breakthrough, especially for the sort of person who doesn't know how they feel, just that they do feel.
I listened, then I listened to her podcasts and read the materials online and took in as many reviews as I could find. This is a great resource and I'm glad to have found it.
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- Angie V.
- 06-12-24
I was surprised that I like this book so much
I bought this book on a whim from a Facebook ad that seemed to know that I’m trying to process through a hurtful situation with a family member. I didn’t have much expectation really but was intrigued. I was so surprised by how challenged and mentally stimulated I was during the read. I actually really followed the authors logic that processing through grudges can be a good thing and would allow me to become a more forgiving person. Few books motivate me to action but this one did.
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- KATHRYN DI
- 04-10-19
Somehow relaxing
Listening to the author's own narration of her grudges is somehow relaxing! Loved her voice. As I was listening I kept in mind a review I'd read about the examples of grudge-inspiring events being uninteresting or somehow bad. Actually, these were the stuff daily grudges are made of - someone made me wait, someone didn't notice something I did, someone was pushy. If the examples had been tragic and flashy, I wouldn't have been able to identify with them. Maybe that reviewer doesn't have a single "petty" thought ever. These should not be minimized - these "small" things bombard a person every day, and as Hannah writes, we also lob at others, even unknowingly. They really do cumulatively affect one's well being. At work, someone has recently formed a grudge against me because for a month her convenient email notifications for document expiration dates have gone away as I migrate data, even though I gave her a neat spreadsheet of all those dates (and there are only a handful of upcoming ones). I've formed a grudge against her for going to the president after two weeks of this to tell him the software I'm using (and fought for for months) should be changed to the old one she used to use at a previous job. These are the exact types of things Hannah uses as examples. Her book was reassuring and I won't ever forget it, I'm sure.
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- Zeeta
- 02-26-19
Highly recommend.
I found this book very interesting and insightful. The author’s retelling of both contributed and personal stories showed how analyzing grudges helps us process the behaviors of ourselves and others. I feel the author proves that we can learn a lot by reflecting on, and evaluating the causes and effects of grudges.
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