
How to Hold a Grudge
From Resentment to Contentment - the Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life
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Narrated by:
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Sophie Hannah
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By:
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Sophie Hannah
About this listen
The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge-holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self.
Secretly, we all hold grudges, but most of us probably think we shouldn’t, and many of us deny that we do. To bear a grudge is too negative, right? Shouldn’t we just forgive and move on? Wrong, says self-appointed grudge guru Sophie Hannah, in her groundbreaking and irreverent self-help guide. Yes, it’s essential to think positively if we want to live happy lives, but even more crucial is how we get to the positive. Denying our negative emotions and experiences is likely to lead only to more pain, conflict, and stress.
What if our grudges are good for us? What if we could embrace them, and use them to help ourselves and others, instead of feeling ashamed of our inability to banish negative emotions and memories from our lives? With contributions from expert psychotherapists as well as extracts from her own extensive catalog of grudges, Sophie Hannah investigates the psychological origins of grudges and also offers not-so-obvious insights into how we should acknowledge - and embrace - them in order to improve the quality of our interpersonal relationships and senses of self. Grudges do not have to fill us with hate or make us toxic, bitter, and miserable. If we approach the practice of grudge-holding in an enlightened way, it will do the opposite - we will become more forgiving.
Practical, compassionate, and downright funny, How to Hold a Grudge reveals everything we need to know about the many different forms of grudge, the difference between a grudge and not-a-grudge (not as obvious as it seems), when we should let a grudge go, and how to honor a grudge and distill lessons from it that will turn us into better, happier people - for our own benefit and for the sake of spreading good and limiting harm in the world.
©2019 Sophie Hannah (P)2019 Simon & SchusterListeners also enjoyed...
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Isolating Introvert
- By Konie on 04-09-22
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Train Your Mind to Be Successful
- Attract and Get Anything You Want in Life
- By: Sayra S. Montes
- Narrated by: Mapuana Makia
- Length: 3 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you want to develop the habits you need to thrive and flourish in life? Looking for powerful, proven exercises to help you change your mindsets, manifest your dream life, and strive for achievement? Then this is the book for you.
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Common sense Rehash of another million books out there
- By DeAnn on 07-03-22
By: Sayra S. Montes
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Chasing Slow
- By: Erin Loechner
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Chasing Slow models HGTV star Erin Loechner's journey to help you break out of the faster-better-stronger trap and make small changes to refresh your perspective, renew your priorities, and shift your focus to what matters most.
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Book is wonderful - narrator completely ruins it
- By Gail on 05-22-17
By: Erin Loechner
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The Mindful Way Through Depression
- Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness
- By: Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and others
- Narrated by: Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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If you've ever struggled with depression or know someone who has, take heart: Mindfulness practice is a simple, powerful way to naturally break depression's self-perpetuating cycle. With The Mindful Way Through Depression, four leading researchers present insightful lessons drawn from both Eastern meditative traditions and cognitive therapy about how to triumph over this illness - and, more importantly, how to prevent it from striking again.
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Great Content - Meditations are at the End
- By Rachel L. on 06-21-16
By: Mark Williams, and others
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The Silent Wife
- A Novel
- By: A. S. A. Harrison
- Narrated by: Vas Eli, Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Jodi and Todd are at a bad place in their marriage. Much is at stake, including the affluent life they lead in their beautiful waterfront condo in Chicago, as she, the killer, and he, the victim, rush haplessly toward the main event. He is a committed cheater. She lives and breathes denial. He exists in dual worlds. She likes to settle scores. He decides to play for keeps. She has nothing left to lose. Told in alternating voices, The Silent Wife is about a marriage in the throes of dissolution, a couple headed for catastrophe, concessions that can’t be made, and promises that won’t be kept.
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Slow, meditative burn
- By alphabetsoup on 11-23-23
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How to Think Like a Philosopher
- Scholars, Dreamers and Sages Who Can Teach Us How to Live
- By: Peter Cave
- Narrated by: Ben Onwukwe
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In showing how the great philosophers of human history lived and thought – and what they thought about – Peter Cave provides an accessible and enjoyable introduction to thinking philosophically and how it can change our everyday lives. With a lightness of touch, he addresses questions such as: Is there anything ‘out there’ that gives meaning to our lives? Does reality tell us how we ought to live? What indeed is reality and what is appearance – and how can we tell the difference?
By: Peter Cave
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The Book of Moods
- How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life
- By: Lauren Martin
- Narrated by: Barrie Kreinik
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Five years ago, Lauren Martin was sure something was wrong with her. She had a good job in New York, an apartment in Brooklyn, a boyfriend, yet every day she wrestled with feelings of inferiority, anxiety and irritability. It wasn't until a chance encounter with a (charming, successful) stranger who revealed that she also felt these things, that Lauren set out to better understand the hold that these moods had on her, how she could change them, and began to blog about the wisdom she uncovered.
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A great book to remind you to not take life so seriously.
- By Shana Osborne on 02-23-21
By: Lauren Martin
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The Power of Saying No
- The New Science of How to Say No That Puts You in Charge of Your Life
- By: Vanessa Patrick PhD
- Narrated by: Jeed Saddy
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Power of Saying No, award-winning professor and researcher Vanessa Patrick delves into the new science of saying no. She introduces the ground-breaking concept of "empowered refusal"—a proven framework for saying no that puts you in charge of your life—and reveals some surprising secrets about the power of the word no.
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Needed editing
- By R. Van der Lugt on 10-07-24
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The Unfair Advantage
- How You Already Have What It Takes to Succeed
- By: Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba
- Narrated by: Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba, Raj Ghatak
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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What is the difference between a startup that makes it, and one that crashes and burns? Behind every story of success is an unfair advantage. But an Unfair Advantage is not just about your parents' wealth or who you know: Anyone can have one. An Unfair Advantage is the element that gives you an edge over your competition.
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Nothing new
- By Jessie on 07-11-23
By: Ash Ali, and others
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Self Discipline: The Spartan and Special Operations Way to Mastering Yourself
- By: Ryan Hunt
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In this book, you will learn lessons in self-discipline from the masters of self-discipline: the Spartans and Special Operations Units. This book will guide you through the most important principles of self-discipline. It will teach you how to take your life and transform yourself into a powerful individual.
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very blah and generic
- By TommyDCentral on 01-09-20
By: Ryan Hunt
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Decoding Boys
- New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons
- By: Cara Natterson
- Narrated by: Cara Natterson
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril.
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wanted to give 5 but last chapter is so biased
- By Jeff Bullock on 01-15-22
By: Cara Natterson
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The Art of Explanation
- How to Communicate with Clarity and Confidence
- By: Ros Atkins
- Narrated by: Ros Atkins
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Explanation - conveying meaning - is an art. And the BBC presenter and journalist Ros Atkins, creator of the viral 'Ros Atkins on...' explainer videos, is something of a master of the form. In this book, Ros shares the secrets he has learned from years of working in high-pressure newsrooms, identifying the ten elements of a good explanation and the seven steps you need to take to express yourself as persuasively and accurately as possible.
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So good. So actionable and relevant!
- By JGIPS on 11-23-24
By: Ros Atkins
What listeners say about How to Hold a Grudge
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gold3nLily
- 07-22-19
Immensely helpful
This is one of the best books I’ve ever read and I’m sure I will read it many more times. It’s concise, helpful, and funny.
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- Julia
- 01-18-19
Amazing Tool for people with Autistic Traits, etc.
Sometimes a formulaic approach is clarifying, that which is measured, matters. This author is generous with her personal stories and learning curves and her grudge diamond scale is a true breakthrough, especially for the sort of person who doesn't know how they feel, just that they do feel.
I listened, then I listened to her podcasts and read the materials online and took in as many reviews as I could find. This is a great resource and I'm glad to have found it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Angie V.
- 06-12-24
I was surprised that I like this book so much
I bought this book on a whim from a Facebook ad that seemed to know that I’m trying to process through a hurtful situation with a family member. I didn’t have much expectation really but was intrigued. I was so surprised by how challenged and mentally stimulated I was during the read. I actually really followed the authors logic that processing through grudges can be a good thing and would allow me to become a more forgiving person. Few books motivate me to action but this one did.
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- KATHRYN DI
- 04-10-19
Somehow relaxing
Listening to the author's own narration of her grudges is somehow relaxing! Loved her voice. As I was listening I kept in mind a review I'd read about the examples of grudge-inspiring events being uninteresting or somehow bad. Actually, these were the stuff daily grudges are made of - someone made me wait, someone didn't notice something I did, someone was pushy. If the examples had been tragic and flashy, I wouldn't have been able to identify with them. Maybe that reviewer doesn't have a single "petty" thought ever. These should not be minimized - these "small" things bombard a person every day, and as Hannah writes, we also lob at others, even unknowingly. They really do cumulatively affect one's well being. At work, someone has recently formed a grudge against me because for a month her convenient email notifications for document expiration dates have gone away as I migrate data, even though I gave her a neat spreadsheet of all those dates (and there are only a handful of upcoming ones). I've formed a grudge against her for going to the president after two weeks of this to tell him the software I'm using (and fought for for months) should be changed to the old one she used to use at a previous job. These are the exact types of things Hannah uses as examples. Her book was reassuring and I won't ever forget it, I'm sure.
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- Zeeta
- 02-26-19
Highly recommend.
I found this book very interesting and insightful. The author’s retelling of both contributed and personal stories showed how analyzing grudges helps us process the behaviors of ourselves and others. I feel the author proves that we can learn a lot by reflecting on, and evaluating the causes and effects of grudges.
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