Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
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Narrated by:
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Ramani Durvasula PhD
About this listen
Do you feel like you are talking and talking, and your partner is never listening?
Do you feel like you keep saying the same thing over and over again?
Does your partner make promises, only to break or betray your trust repeatedly?
Is your partner controlling or just plain mean?
Have you read every relationship book out there, practiced your communication skills, and still feel unheard or neglected?
Are you done with second chances?
Should you stay or should you go?
We live in a world of romance and rescue - where everyone believes love will conquer all, and the more we put up with, the more loving we are being. It doesn't work that way. Sometimes we choose mean people, and before long we are in so deep, we don't know whether we are coming or going. One day you want to fight harder, and the next day you are ready to pack it in, and the next day you want to fight harder.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
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Frientimacy
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- Narrated by: Robin Eller
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
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By: Shasta Nelson
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
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By: Emily Gordon
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The No Contact Rule
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You're trying to get over your ex, yet you're still in touch and have ended up being his or her backup plan. Maybe you haven't left yet, but you want to and just don't know how. Maybe you're tired of doing the lather, rinse, repeat of getting back together and winding up back at square one. It's time to cut contact. The No Contact Rule is an inspiring guide to extinguishing the temptation to stay in touch or to keep engaging, helping you to reclaim your sense of self and move on to a healthier relationship.
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I can not recomment this book highly enough!
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
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The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship
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Most people, if asked, would deny that they'd ever had fantasy relationships, as they are associated with pretending to be with someone or in something that's nonexistent. However, it's time for you to change what you think you know. In this modern age of texts, email, Facebook, online dating, and casual relationships, it's never been so easy to find yourself in a crumb-filled fantasy relationship.
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Just ok...
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This is a book about men. Not all men, just emotionally unhealthy men. The ones who make you question, "Is it him or is it me? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I try to tell him how I feel, but he says I'm overreacting or needy or it's all my fault". Relationships are hard work, but how hard should they be? When do you know you are struggling too hard to make a relationship succeed?
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I Cried Thru The First Thirty Minutes...
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Relationship Breakthrough
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
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Dealing with Toxic People is a solution-oriented book that throws light on one of the most important issues in today's world. Listeners will be able to learn every possible technique to help get rid of toxic people in the best possible manner.
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AMAZING, Great Book!
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
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Separating or divorcing a narcissist or someone who has narcissistic traits can be a difficult, draining experience. This book is written for the spouse of such a personality to support them step by step through the legal process, as well as through the difficult emotional journey that they'll be undertaking. It will help you recognize narcissistic behavior, prime you on what challenges lie ahead, and provide practical insights on how to survive the process. It will also help you work with your lawyer so you can both understand the potential pitfalls.
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What listeners say about Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- MEM
- 07-29-19
In Shock
It is hard to listen to this book. I felt sick to my stomach by what has happened over 20 years in my marriage. This hits directly to the core issues of Narcissism.
I believe that personality disorders should be taught much earlier in life. I am well into my 50’s and just learning more about this. I cannot believe I was so blind.
The author makes excellent points and it will only get worse as we head into a world of instant gratification.
Thank you for your work here, it has opened my eyes. With greatest appreciation.
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25 people found this helpful
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- marek
- 08-16-18
must have. essential and helpful
if there is something wrong about your relationship despite you're trying harder and harder and nothing is change, and you loose yourself then read it. professor is so clear and precise that is why youll gonna get the key to solve the secret you were trying to figure out for so long.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Nur
- 02-27-19
Excellently explained
A very liberating experience. This book covers certainly all that is important to know about dealing with a narcissistic relationship. It offers many strategies and explains many experiences you might encounter with a narcissist. The author shows compassion and integrity by not offering the one solution that fits all but instead shows openly different ways to deal with the situation. A very close to reality book - and a very insightful one.
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- Hugo
- 01-10-20
An essential read
I would recommend to anyone especially people who are dating or looking to be in an intimate relationship. I found this book AFTER leaving a narcissistic relationship. It helped me make sense of what I experienced and brought clarity to situations that left me feeling confused. These type of relationships are toxic, volatile, and have the potential of being dangerous. For these reasons I recommend this book. I never thought I’d be in a relationship like this, but being with a very intelligent narcissist made it difficult to detect their head games and manipulation.
Arm yourself with the knowledge in this book so you can better spot narcissistic behavior and handle the narcissists in your life.
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- anonymous
- 08-03-18
She is spot on. I both laughed/cried listening2her
I married my long time (from long distance relationship) fiancee a couple of years ago. I am so frustrated and angry because I tried everything and gave in-numerous chances to her, forgave her multiple times because I was in love. There were so many questions in my head, that I could not figure out answers for many years. Why is she like this.
After watching one of Dr. Ramani's video on youtube (thanks to the recommendation section) I found sense in her talk. Quickly purchased her book and listened to it non-stop.
Man, She is spot on. I both laughed and cried while listening to her because my past 10 years were passing through my eyes and head all this time. I got my answers and I feel relieved now.
I wish I would have found it earlier when it was released, as that was the exact time i got married.
But its OK now, as she told; let everything happen to you, beauty and terror, just keep going; no feeling is final. And the main justice is that you got your life back.
I hope she writes a followup book, especially if you decide to leave; how to keep in touch with your children and save them.
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- niluofar rafsanjani
- 12-08-21
Should be required reading!!!
Incredibly Helpful reading for any and all humans who relate to other humans & will inevitably cross paths with narcissists along the way!
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- angels4
- 12-16-21
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and compassion
A very real and relatable book. IDr. Ramani breaks things down in a way that anyone can understand and relate to. It’s a real eye-opener and I have to say thank you. Thank you for making me realize just how many people are impacted by these types of relationships. Thank you for giving me the courage to know what I need to do for me
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- Anonymous User
- 09-20-18
Fantastic
Clear, direct, easy to apply, fantastic book. Worth a reread every so often to those it applies to
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- Atania L.Lynch
- 12-31-17
Finally someone who "Gets it "
I was so tired of hearing No Contact is the only solution. Thank You Ramani!
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- LLRB
- 06-01-21
Dr. Ramani is an expert
I’m so grateful that I stumbled across Dr. Ramani and her wisdom on YouTube and was led to this book. What a valuable resource for anyone struggling to make sense of an unhealthy relationship. I’ve never heard someone speak with such knowledge and clarity. It’s obvious this is her passion.
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