Humor Fiction Adventure

They came up on us like a gravy crap. We was just down by the creek dranking and shooting when them ugly suckers flanked us. My name is Lick. They call me Lick cause when I was a baby I used to lick everything. This is the story of me and my buddy Fanger. We call him Fanger cause when he was a kid he broke his panky fanger on his right hand and his mom and deddy didn't git it fixed right. Now it sticks out all the time like a fancy yankee or English man dranking tea. Anyway, this is the story of our first encounter and how we ended up on the run. Just like everybody else.

Firstname Lastname is a no one with nowhere to go, with a name that is the result of an unfortunate clerical error and destined to be one of the only humans on an alien space station. That is, until she sneaks aboard a ship and joins up with a crew of repo men (they are definitely not pirates). Now she's traveling the galaxy "recovering" ships. What could go wrong?

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.

Adventuring is a costly affair, and while the tolls are often paid in blood, gold can drain away just as quickly. The party's trek out of Solium and across the lands of Alcatham has left them with only a handful of gold between them. Fortunately, they have drawn near Camnarael, Alcatham's capital, where all manner of quests - and rewards - await. But all is not as expected in the capital.

Everything I’d known about the world was a lie. On my thirteenth birthday, I, Alcatraz Smedry (yes, I got named after a prison, don’t ask), received my inheritance: a bag of sand. And then I accidentally destroyed my foster parents’ kitchen. It’s not my fault, things just break around me, I swear! I thought the sand was a joke until evil Librarians came to steal it. You’re probably thinking, “Librarians are nice people who recommend good books,” but that’s just what they want you to think!

In this sparkling tale, young merchant Abdullah purchases a magic carpet - and soon finds that the enchanted rug is none too agreeable. But despite the carpet's cranky demeanor, Abdullah must rely on its help to rescue a princess from a wicked djinn.

Book 2 of this unique spin on LitRPG featuring an unusual MC you can't help but root for. Featuring plenty of humor, action, thievery, ninja abilities, a detailed world and System, science skills, magic tinkering, item invention, and more originality than you can shake a rat tail at!

Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?

A Boston Globe-Horn Book Honor Book and ALA Notable and Best of the Year in Young Adult Fiction, Howl's Moving Castle is by acclaimed fantasy writer Diane Wynne Jones and was transformed into an Academy Award nominated animated motion picture by Hayao Miyazaki. On a rare venture out from her step-mother's hat shop, Sophie attracts the attention of a witch, who casts a terrible spell transforming the young girl into an old crone.

Steve likes to spend his mornings in the NCP village and trade his wheat for emeralds, armor, books, swords, and food. One morning, he finds that Zombies have attacked the villagers. The Zombies have also turned the village blacksmith into a Zombie, leaving Steve without a place to get swords. To protect himself and the few villagers that remain, Steve goes on a quest to mine for 40 diamonds, which are the most powerful mineral in the Overworld.

It’s the end of the world as you've never known it. Join the Librarian as he does his best to make the post-apocalyptic world a better place by protecting the weak, fighting injustice, squaring off against a group of former renaissance fair workers who have established a kingdom in the Rocky Mountains, and so on. Can one man make a difference in the face of such murderous cannibals and super smart bears? Probably not.

A girl named Charmain must inhabit her ailing great-uncle's time-traveling home full of magical belongings. As Charmain begins a journey of amazing discoveries, she comes to the attention of the powerful sorceress Sophie and an elusive wizard named Howl.

Alcatraz Smedry is up against a whole army of Evil Librarians with only his friend Bastille, a few pairs of glasses, and an unlimited supply of exploding teddy bears to help him. This time, even Alcatraz’s extraordinary talent for breaking things may not be enough to defeat the army of Evil Librarians and their giant librarian robots.

Nine months ago, Zeus' murder catapulted the Greek gods back into public life. Now, the whole pantheon revels in new temples, casinos, and media empires - except Apollo. An overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone he receives from rapacious mortals turns each day into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer geek named Leif, who hold the key to Zeus' resurrection.

So now you've heard all about me, Alcatraz Smedry, and how I was swept out of my life in your normal world and into the fight against the Librarians (jerks!). After being all heroic and stuff in that tale, I didn’t expect to charge headlong into enemy territory: the Library of Alexandria, where I—and my grandpa and my grouchy bodyguard Bastille and her even grouchier mother and some weirdly gifted cousins—run across the Curators (ghosts who will gladly help you check out a book as long as you don’t mind giving up your mortal soul) and some new nasty Librarians who hate our guts.

Poppy Fields has a movie-star mother, 84 million Instagram followers, paparazzi following her every move, and a problem. Her Mexican vacation just went sideways (abducted-by-a-drug-lord sideways). Suddenly her life resembles one of her mother's movies, except the bullets are real, people are dying, and there's no guarantee of a happy ending. Surrounded by trained killers and unsure who she can trust, only one thing is certain - if Poppy doesn't escape, this vacation will be her last.

The third book in the #1 New York Times best-selling series from Jeff Kinney, The Last Straw is sure to please young readers. Greg Heffley makes a New Year's resolution to help others improve, but his brand of truthful advice doesn't go over well. Plus, Greg's dad thinks military school might be just the attitude adjustment Greg needs.

Bob Howard is a special operative for the British agency called The Laundry, and his task is to stop a rogue billionaire from using an artifact, known as Gravedust, with the power to reanimate the dead. The U.S. Black Agency sends the lethal Ramona Random to aid Bob’s mission, but she seems to have a different agenda.

Skeeve is a magician’s apprentice (and a wanna-be thief) until an assassin’s bolt kills his master, Garkin. Along with Aahz, the green-scaled, purple-tongued demon and master magician summoned by Garkin, he sets out on a quest to get even. The road to vengeance is bound to prove rocky, however, because Skeeve can barely light a candle with his beginning magic, and Aahz has lost his own considerable magical abilities as a consequence of Garkin’s summoning spell.