Space Humor

Captain Quasar is out of time. Pursued by vengeful Goobalob toll collectors, savage Arachnoid bounty hunters, and formidable Amazonians, Captain Bartholomew Quasar must do whatever he can to keep the crew of the Effervescent Magnitude out of harm's way. All in a day's work - except time is not on his side. Torn from the present to relive his past, he vows to keep mistakes from occurring the second time around. But is he doomed to repeat history? Or can he erase his regrets?

After being court-martialed by the Space Legion for ordering the strafing of a treaty-signing ceremony, multimillionaire Willard Phule receives his punishment: He must command the misfit Omega Company on Haskin's Planet, a mining settlement on the edge of settled space. At his duty station, he leverages his personal money and a knack for managing people to get the company to come together as a unit.

When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

The Krakau came to Earth to invite humanity into a growing alliance of sentient species. However, they happened to arrive after a mutated plague wiped out half the planet, turned the rest into shambling, near-unstoppable animals, and basically destroyed human civilization. You know - your standard apocalypse. The Krakau's first impulse was to turn around and go home. Their second impulse was to try to fix us. Now, a century later, human beings might not be what they once were, but at least they're no longer trying to eat everyone. Mostly.

Contains books one and two of the Shattered Alliance series.

Some starship captains explore strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations. Some lead missions of discovery through wormholes to the other side of the galaxy. Then there's Captain Iridius B. Franklin, someone who spent too long seeking out strange new bars and new alien cocktails.

Have you ever had a bad day? Sergeant Paul Mitchell had. It was the kind of bad day where nothing went right, everything that could go wrong went wrong, and everyone died. He knew that was always a possibility in the marines, but it really sucked when it happened to you: it wasn't your fault, and you still took the fall for everything. With his career dead and buried, he's forced to make it as a freelancer; a jack of all trades but a master of none. Just when he thought life couldn't get any worse a couple of stupid kids proved him wrong...again.

Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last 15 years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor.

A century ago, the Sentience Wars tore the galaxy apart and nearly ended the entire concept of intelligent space-faring life. In the aftermath, a curious tradition was invented - something to cheer up everyone who was left and bring the shattered worlds together in the spirit of peace, unity, and understanding. Once every cycle, the civilizations gather for the Metagalactic Grand Prix - part gladiatorial contest, part beauty pageant, part concert extravaganza, and part continuation of the wars of the past.

Lyla Cowan is still fighting the good fight. Because a mercenary’s work is never done. She’s been the victim of lies, and has come back from that. She’s taken a stand against bullies, and holds firm to that. But what if the line between truth and lies, bully and victim, is blurred by reality and myth? Would you take up the cause of the Undead? The Hunter Imperium Universe Is best read in this order: The Spacemage Chronicle Yesterday's Spacemage Today's Spacemage Tomorrow's Spacemage The Hunter Legacy Prequels 1969 Was That You? One Last Battle NPC PHQ The Hunter Legacy Hero at Large ...

Did you know that the remora fish will try to swim up a whale shark's butt when they poop? The crew of Twig didn't. It turns out there was an awful lot the family of five didn’t know when they decided to move aboard and set off for adventure on the high seas. After decades of dreaming, and planning, the explorers finally sailed off into the sunset. Yes, they found the palm trees and coconuts they had longed for, but they also glimpsed the other side of paradise. They ran from waterspouts, dodged hurricanes, got (sort of) robbed by pirates, and played chicken with naval warships. They ...

Space Academy Graduates is where the worst crew in the galaxy's adventures come full circle! Vance Turbo and company have returned to Space Academy, the place where it all began, in order to investigate the murder of Earth's highest decorated officer. Along the way, they'll discover the secrets of the mysterious Department 12, the responsibilities of power, and the dangers that come from SPACE VAMPIRES! Yes, it's always capitalized.

He just wants to run space cargo. Alien warlords want him dead - with a billion credit price on his head. Now, everyone with a gun and a spaceship wants to cash in. But, humans are not easy to kill, especially a battle hardened Marine warrior from Earth. He is angry, frustrated and uncertain about where his life is going, but knows one thing - he absolutely hates the arrogance of the wealthy elite who paid the billion credit bounty. And, he’ll make them pay with their precious, jewelry studded lives if it is the last thing he does. They thought it should be easy. After all, he is just a ...

The newly renamed Vance Turbo has sabotaged his own career at Space Fleet Academy due to a desire to atone for a training accident. Unfortunately, his actions result in him getting press-ganged into an expendable crew of misfits recruited by a legendary starship captain. Their mission? To recover a collection of lost sun-destroying missiles that could restart a galactic war. Unfortunately, Vance is smart enough to know something is wrong with this picture. After all, no sane person would recruit this crew to save the universe.

Five years ago, the US Space Force became a reality. And while those writing the checks took things very seriously, the other military branches did not. As a result, Space Force was populated by undesirables. My name is Captain Ethan Stone, a decorated member of SEAL Team Six turned Space Force "recruit". Flash forward five years and between tenses. President West is in office. Power has shifted. And Space Force is defunded. With just a handful of us still living on base, we find ourselves being evicted. But before all of us can leave, aliens invade.

Contains books one and two of the humorous sci-fi Jane Bond series: Some Assembly Required and Dark Side of the Moon.

Author's warning This here silly comedy was my first, and very daft, attempt at writing a novel, and was intended to spoof the very genre I went on to write in. It's only up here on Amazon because it still makes me laugh... If you want to read something good, take a tilt at Olives, Beirut or Shemlan for starters. If you like a thriller closer to home, then I'd recommend A Decent Bomber. And if you like a touch of the psychological, then Birdkill. Only read this one if you really must - and don't go complaining or saying you weren't warned... Ben Jonson is a doctor in Richmond, London. Life ...

GSW - a.k.a. a gunshot wound - back to front. That’s what landed me in Sophie’s operating room after a black op went to hell. After I bled out, she “volunteered” me for Project Angel, a top-secret program determined to revive KIAs with alien tech. I became their first success. Fast-forward to Armageddon: Demons are everywhere. Bodies even more so. After some intense fighting, we’ve reached the hospital where she worked. The place looks grim, but I’m not about to stop searching for the angel who saved my life.

Bob thought he was doing fine on his own. Then the love of his life fell out of the sky. Can he get her back in the air with auto parts and a cutting torch? If he does, will she ever come back? Nikki took a job before she saw the equipment. Can she keep her passengers alive on a strange planet? Are the natives friendly?