Advice Not Given
A Guide to Getting Over Yourself
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Narrated by:
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Mark Epstein MD.
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By:
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Mark Epstein MD.
About this listen
"Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time." (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)
Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, renowned psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark Epstein presents a how-to guide rooted in two traditions, Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life.
Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And, while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given, Dr. Mark Epstein reveals how Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, two traditions that developed in entirely different times and places and, until recently, had nothing to do with each other, both identify the ego as the limiting factor in our well-being, and both come to the same conclusion: When we give the ego free reign, we suffer; but when it learns to let go, we are free.
With great insight, and in a deeply personal style, Epstein offers listeners a how-to guide that refuses a quick fix, grounded in two traditions devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life. Using the Eightfold Path, eight areas of self-reflection that Buddhists believe necessary for enlightenment, as his scaffolding, Epstein looks back productively on his own experience and that of his patients. While the ideas of the Eightfold Path are as old as Buddhism itself, when informed by the sensibility of Western psychotherapy, they become something more: a road map for spiritual and psychological growth, a way of dealing with the intractable problem of the ego. Breaking down the wall between East and West, Epstein brings a Buddhist sensibility to therapy and a therapist's practicality to Buddhism. Speaking clearly and directly, he offers a rethinking of mindfulness that encourages people to be more watchful of their ego, an idea with a strong foothold in Buddhism but now for the first time applied in the context of psychotherapy.
Our ego is at once our biggest obstacle and our greatest hope. We can be at its mercy or we can learn to mold it. Completely unique and practical, Epstein's advice can be used by all - each in his or her own way - and will provide wise counsel in a confusing world. After all, as he says, "Our egos can use all the help they can get."
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Critic reviews
“Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time.” (Ann Patchett, New York Times best-selling author of Commonwealth)
“Mark Epstein’s Advice Not Given continues his important, fascinating work in exceptionally lucid language. It also offers its readers a collection of fables, vignettes, and personal revelations with the true capacity to rearrange one’s perspective, even change one’s life. I suspect many of these offerings will stay with me for the long haul, for which I’m very grateful.” (Maggie Nelson, New York Times best-selling author of The Argonauts)
“Epstein’s book of practical suggestions will leave readers educated, inspired, and equipped with new tools for psychological health.” (Publishers Weekly, starred review)
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Joy is not for just the lucky few - it's a choice anyone can make. In this groundbreaking book, based on his popular course, James Baraz helps you discover a path to the happiness that's right in front of you, offering a step-by-step program that will reorient your mind away from dissatisfaction and distraction and toward the contentment and delight that is abundantly available in our everyday lives. You can decide to be happy.
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I listen to Awakening Joy over and over
- By Love Coach, Annette Carpien, PCC on 04-14-16
By: James Baraz, and others
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The Wise Heart
- A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology
- By: Jack Kornfield
- Narrated by: Jack Kornfield
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
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You have within you an unlimited capacity for extraordinary love, for joy, for communion with life, and for unshakable freedom - and here is how to awaken it. In The Wise Heart, celebrated author and psychologist Jack Kornfield offers an accessible, comprehensive, and illuminating guide to the universal teachings of Buddhist psychology. He shows you how to use powerful Buddhist insights and practices to go beyond the trap of "self-improvement".
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Awesome!
- By Nik LaCroix on 05-01-15
By: Jack Kornfield
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The Seeker's Guide
- By: Elizabeth Lesser
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Lesser
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
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America has given birth to a wisdom tradition entirely its own, a spirituality that is as diverse as its people, and that respects the freedom and uniqueness of each individual. Judeo-Christian traditions and the meditation practices of Asia and India...modern science and Native American teachings...Sufism and transpersonal psychology - The New American Spirituality explores what happens when these and other traditions cohabitate our unique cultural landscape.
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Very thorough and enlightening
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Nothing Holy About It
- The Zen of Being Just Who You Are
- By: Tim Burkett
- Narrated by: Fajer Al-Kaisi
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
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According to legend, when the founder of Zen Buddhism was asked about the main principle of his holy teaching, he replied that there was "nothing holy about it!" Now, a millennium and a half later, Tim Burkett reveals how and why the wisdom of nonholiness is the key to a joyful heart. You don't need to go looking for something sacred - the happiness you seek is right where you are.
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Beautiful words
- By Asiyah on 05-04-17
By: Tim Burkett
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Parenting with Presence
- Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Polly Stone
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons - refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests - can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment.
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fantastic
- By Sarah Prentice on 06-26-16
By: Susan Stiffelman
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Real Happiness at Work
- Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement, and Peace
- By: Sharon Salzberg
- Narrated by: Sharon Salzberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
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How would you like to be calmer, less distracted, more productive, and more content at your job? You might think it would take more hours in the day, a better boss, more support, less interference, a shorter commute - and the list goes on. Most of the things we think would help are either not in our control or simply not realistic. But there is one thing we can do to achieve the qualities we seek, and it can be done invisibly and often: meditation.
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inspirational and totally useful
- By C. L. Campion on 10-21-15
By: Sharon Salzberg
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The Power of Kindness 10th Anniversary Edition
- The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life
- By: Piero Ferrucci
- Narrated by: Mitch Horowitz
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
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When The Power of Kindness first appeared in 2006 it thrilled and challenged listeners with one audacious promise: Your acts of generosity and decency are the secret to a fuller, more satisfying life. Kindness is not some squishy virtue but the very key to your own happiness. With nearly 125,000 copies sold, we're celebrating the book's tenth anniversary with this new edition, featuring a complete new chapter by Piero Ferrucci on the theme of "Harmlessness", which joins his other chapters on virtues such as "Honesty", "Warmth", and "Loyalty".
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Life changing
- By Leslie Alonso on 08-05-24
By: Piero Ferrucci
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Constructive Living
- By: David Reynolds
- Narrated by: David Reynolds
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
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Constructive Living combines two of the most popular forms of therapy in Japan into one profoundly effective approach that will not only enhance your productivity but also bring a flexible, responsive mind - a Zenlike tranquility - a to your personal and professional lives. Discover the life-changing potential of Morita therapy (based on taking right action in the moment) and Naikan therapy (a way to cultivate your awareness of how the world supports you) in three information-packed sessions.
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Insightfully Practical and Realistic
- By Paul Fears on 02-08-16
By: David Reynolds
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The Dharma of the Princess Bride
- What the Coolest Fairy Tale of Our Time Can Teach Us About Buddhism and Relationships
- By: Ethan Nichtern
- Narrated by: Ethan Nichtern
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
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Humorous yet spiritually rigorous, drawing from pop culture and from personal experience, The Dharma of "The Princess Bride" teaches us how to understand and navigate our most important personal relationships from a 21st-century Buddhist perspective. Friendship. Romance. Family. These are the three areas Ethan Nichtern delves into, taking as departure points the indelible characters - Westley, Fezzik, Vizzini, Count Rugen, Princess Buttercup, and others from Rob Reiner's perennially popular film.
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A fun and refreshing take on Buddhism
- By Oak Grove on 12-06-17
By: Ethan Nichtern
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Happiness Is an Inside Job
- Practicing for a Joyful Life
- By: Sylvia Boorstein Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
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In her more than four decades of Buddhist practice and teaching, Boorstein has discovered that the secret to happiness lies not in monastic solitude but in cultivating our connections with the world. She reminds us that our hearts want to appreciate, encourage, and love, and that these qualities lead to a grounded sense of happiness.
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Even better than expected
- By Peter Efland on 07-02-15
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How Can I Help?
- Stories and Reflections on Service
- By: Paul Gorman, Ram Dass
- Narrated by: Paul Brion
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
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Not a day goes by without our being called upon to help one another - at home, at work, on the street, on the phone. We do what we can. Yet so many questions come up to complicate this natural response. In this practical helper's companion, the authors explore a path through these confusions and provide support and inspiration for us in our efforts as members of the helping professions, as volunteers, as community activists, or simply as friends and family trying to meet each other's needs.
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Bravo!
- By Jennylynn on 09-01-24
By: Paul Gorman, and others
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Meditations on Intention and Being
- Daily Reflections on the Path of Yoga, Mindfulness, and Compassion
- By: Rolf Gates
- Narrated by: Kevin Kenerly
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
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Presented in the form of 365 inspirational daily reflections, Gates helps listeners - from experienced yogis to novices seeking a little tranquility - to fundamentally reconsider their relationships with their minds, their bodies, and the universe around them through self-reflection.
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Loved This Book
- By Brittney on 11-24-16
By: Rolf Gates
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Aging as a Spiritual Practice
- A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser
- By: Lewis Richmond
- Narrated by: Fred Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
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Everything changes. For Buddhist priest and meditation teacher Lewis Richmond, this fundamental Buddhist tenet is the basis for a new inner road map that emerges in the later years, charting an understanding that can bring new possibilities, fresh beginnings, and a wealth of appreciation and gratitude for the life journey itself.
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Aging as a Spiritual Practice ensures a life fulfilled.
- By Rizalina C. Galicinao on 06-18-17
By: Lewis Richmond
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This audiobook offers a clear, concise account of the Eightfold Path prescribed to uproot and eliminate the deep underlying cause of suffering—ignorance. Each step of the path is believed to cultivate wisdom through mental training, and includes an enlightened and peaceful middle path that avoids extremes. The theoretical as well as practical angles of each of the paths—right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration—are illustrated through examples from contemporary life.
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Simplified Version of Do's and Don'ts for Path
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When Things Fall Apart
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How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? The answer, Pema Chödrön suggests, might be just the opposite of what you expect. Here, in her most beloved and acclaimed work, Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy.
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What listeners say about Advice Not Given
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- Mike Federle
- 01-24-18
Insightful
I enjoyed this insightful book immensely. I plan to listen again. The reading for me was soothing.
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- Sarah
- 05-12-18
excellent read
definitely going to listen to this a few more times, gave me much needed insights.
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2 people found this helpful
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- annak
- 07-27-19
One of the best books in this field
I enjoyed every minute of it, and I believe I learned more about Buddhism and the psychic than I ever expected.
Thank you, Mark.
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- Margaret Allan
- 06-01-23
Love letter to Buddhism and psychotherapy
Mark’s mellifluous voice takes us on a personal, deeply felt and meaningful catch-up with his thinking in traversing both these worlds. I have used his writing and reading as a self object a la Kohut, carrying his wisdom and fluency though a difficult day or two, always enlivened. I will listen again. I highly recommend this work
Margaret Allan PsyD
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- John S.
- 12-12-18
Honest and enlightening
The first half hour was painful due to the slow cadence of the author/narrator but then things pick up. I found myself using the 30sec back button often. Lots of good to apply to life. Dr. Epstein is very honest and not pretentious unlike some in the same category. Will listen to his other books.
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- Manuel Valdez
- 10-29-19
Great Read
This is a good book for those who intend to practice mindfulness, meditation, or “consciousness” in the long term. This book serves as a helping hand for anyone struggling with being mindful as it explains the underlying dharma behind the practice.
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- Nisan Man
- 12-28-20
splendid book for starting the path
I found the book enlightening. I plan to read more on the consciousness and Buddhism
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- Karo
- 10-04-23
Brilliant read/listen ❤️
Brilliant read/listen. I appreciate the wise reflections around both areas (psychotherapy & Buddhism) that are very important to me.
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- TCope
- 02-12-18
Framework
Although this book does not offer a formula for becoming aware of, and interacting with ones own ego, Mark does certainly offer a compelling framework for approaching ones own relationship with oneself, and from there, the world.
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- Marc
- 07-15-18
I even sent a copy to my therapist.
Really brilliant. Helps me connect my therapy with my meditation practice. I even sent a copy to my therapist so she could keep up.
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