Bearing the Unbearable
Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
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Narrated by:
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Joanne Cacciatore
About this listen
If you love, you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human.
A 2017 Indies Finalist from Foreword Reviews.
When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should.
Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore—bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field—accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities—as well as her own experience with loss—Cacciatore opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.
Not just for the bereaved, Bearing the Unbearable will be required listening for grief counselors, therapists and social workers, clergy of all varieties, educators, academics, and medical professionals. Organized into fifty-two accessible and stand-alone chapters, this book is also perfect for being listened to in support groups.
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In her latest book, productivity expert Tanya Dalton helps you to define your purpose and live with intention - even if you feel you are too busy to pursue your big dreams. She offers cutting-edge research and thought-provoking real life stories of women and leads you through innovative, yet deceptively simple exercises.
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"It's time to choose to be awake in your own life"
- By JennaNC on 11-04-21
By: Tanya Dalton
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Rookie Mistakes
- A Grown-Up's Field Guide for Getting Your Act Together
- By: Kelly Bandas
- Narrated by: Kelly Bandas
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Raised in a devoutly Catholic home, Kelly Bandas spent her entire childhood trying hard not to tick off “the man” or the Lord. And for the most part, she crushed it. But as she got older and began to navigate what it looked like to truly live in a world where gender roles, race, and politics weren’t always so black and white, Kelly realized that her former worldview was beginning to feel like that pair of Forever 21 jeans that used to glide effortlessly over her hips but now required a lot of stretching and acrobatic maneuvering to shimmy into place. And she’s not alone.
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Great read!
- By K. Movalson on 02-08-23
By: Kelly Bandas
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But You Seemed So Happy
- A Marriage, in Pieces and Bits
- By: Kimberly Harrington
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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In this tender, funny, and sharp companion to her acclaimed memoir-in-essays Amateur Hour, Kimberly Harrington explores and confronts marriage, divorce, and the ways love, loss, and longing shape a life.
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Contrived
- By BekkaLu on 10-06-23
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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye
- Surviving, Coping, and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One
- By: Brook Noel, Pamela D. Blair Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Tapping their personal histories and drawing on numerous interviews, authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., explore unexpected death and its role in the cycle of life. I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye provides survivors with a rock-steady anchor from which to weather the storm of pain and begin to rebuild their lives.
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Best Grief Book yet
- By Paul F. on 08-02-14
By: Brook Noel, and others
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It's OK That You're Not OK
- Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
- By: Megan Devine
- Narrated by: Megan Devine
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides - as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner - Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing.
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The author of this book is capital-A Angry
- By A. E. Ober on 08-26-20
By: Megan Devine
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The Grieving Brain
- The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss
- By: Mary-Frances O'Connor
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Based on O’Connor’s own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and her real-life stories, The Grieving Brain combines storytelling, accessible science, and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace.
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Interesting thoughts
- By GAD on 03-12-22
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On Purpose
- The Busy Woman's Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success
- By: Tanya Dalton
- Narrated by: Tanya Dalton
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In her latest book, productivity expert Tanya Dalton helps you to define your purpose and live with intention - even if you feel you are too busy to pursue your big dreams. She offers cutting-edge research and thought-provoking real life stories of women and leads you through innovative, yet deceptively simple exercises.
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"It's time to choose to be awake in your own life"
- By JennaNC on 11-04-21
By: Tanya Dalton
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Rookie Mistakes
- A Grown-Up's Field Guide for Getting Your Act Together
- By: Kelly Bandas
- Narrated by: Kelly Bandas
- Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Raised in a devoutly Catholic home, Kelly Bandas spent her entire childhood trying hard not to tick off “the man” or the Lord. And for the most part, she crushed it. But as she got older and began to navigate what it looked like to truly live in a world where gender roles, race, and politics weren’t always so black and white, Kelly realized that her former worldview was beginning to feel like that pair of Forever 21 jeans that used to glide effortlessly over her hips but now required a lot of stretching and acrobatic maneuvering to shimmy into place. And she’s not alone.
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Great read!
- By K. Movalson on 02-08-23
By: Kelly Bandas
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But You Seemed So Happy
- A Marriage, in Pieces and Bits
- By: Kimberly Harrington
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this tender, funny, and sharp companion to her acclaimed memoir-in-essays Amateur Hour, Kimberly Harrington explores and confronts marriage, divorce, and the ways love, loss, and longing shape a life.
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Contrived
- By BekkaLu on 10-06-23
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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye
- Surviving, Coping, and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One
- By: Brook Noel, Pamela D. Blair Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tapping their personal histories and drawing on numerous interviews, authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., explore unexpected death and its role in the cycle of life. I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye provides survivors with a rock-steady anchor from which to weather the storm of pain and begin to rebuild their lives.
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Best Grief Book yet
- By Paul F. on 08-02-14
By: Brook Noel, and others
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The Grief Cure
- Looking for the End of Loss
- By: Cody Delistraty
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When Cody Delistraty lost his mother to cancer in his early 20s, he found himself unsure how to move forward. The typical advice was to move through the five stages, achieve closure, get back to work, go back to normal. So begins a journey into the new frontiers of grief, where Delistraty seeks out the researchers, technologists, therapists, marketers, and communities around the world who may be able to cure the pain of loss in novel ways.
By: Cody Delistraty
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How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies
- By: Therese A. Rando
- Narrated by: Vicki-Jo Eva
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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If you recently lost a loved one, How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies is the lifeline you are seeking. Dr. Therese A. Rando’s compassionate and comprehensive guide will help you navigate the storm and find your way back to solid ground.
By: Therese A. Rando
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The Rocket Years
- How Your Twenties Launch the Rest of Your Life
- By: Elizabeth Segran, Benjamin Schneer
- Narrated by: Rachel Jacobs
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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The Defining Decade for the #Adulting generation - a book that blends storytelling and data to unpack the choices you make in your 20s, why they matter, and how to turn those critical years into a launchpad for the life you want. We tend to think of our 20s as a playground for life: a time for low-consequence experimentation and delaying big decisions. But the truth is that while you're muddling through those years - exploring new cities, dating the wrong people, hopping between jobs - a small shift in your flight path can mean the difference between landing on Mars or Saturn.
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Helpful!
- By Anonymous User on 09-21-20
By: Elizabeth Segran, and others
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A Beginner's Guide to the End
- Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death
- By: Dr. BJ Miller, Shoshana Berger
- Narrated by: BJ Miller, Shoshana Berger
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The first-ever practical, compassionate, and comprehensive guide to dying - and living fully until you do.
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Essential reading wiithout exception
- By Daniel J. DiBona on 08-24-19
By: Dr. BJ Miller, and others
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Grief Is a Sneaky Bitch
- An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss
- By: Lisa Keefauver
- Narrated by: Lisa Keefauver
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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When social worker Lisa Keefauver became a widow in 2011, she was alarmed to discover that even though 100 percent of us experience loss, we’re living in a grief illiterate world. In her work as a therapist and in her search for help in the wake of her own loss, Keefauver began to see how the misguided stories we consume about grief lead to unnecessary suffering. Responding to the problematic narratives that grief is something to move on from after completing the five stages like some sort of to-do list, Keefauver became a grief activist.
By: Lisa Keefauver
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What If It's Wonderful?
- Release Your Fears, Choose Joy, and Find the Courage to Celebrate
- By: Nicole Zasowski
- Narrated by: Nicole Zasowski
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Author and marriage and family therapist Nicole Zasowski knows what it's like to suffer a blow that makes it difficult to look to the future. Despite the struggle, she found the courage to celebrate, and discovered that God is as present in our joy as He is in our pain. Yes, God's purpose for us is worked out in our struggles. But what if it is also worked out in our dreams and our delighted joy? With a psychological and spiritual case for celebrating, Nicole challenges you to let go of the habit of practicing disappointment and fully embrace joy.
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Hopeful perspective from a Christian Therapist!
- By SeattleEastsideFam on 03-16-22
By: Nicole Zasowski
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Understanding and Coping with Grief
- By: Joanne Cacciatore, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Joanne Cacciatore
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Original Recording
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Over the course of 10 lectures, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, a research professor at Arizona State University and founder of the MISS Foundation, explores the nuances of grief and grieving, particularly within our often grief-avoidant culture.
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Amazing
- By Rob on 12-14-22
By: Joanne Cacciatore, and others
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The Unspeakable Loss
- How Do You Live After a Child Dies?
- By: Nisha Zenoff
- Narrated by: Nisha Zenoff, Betsy Foldes-Meiman, Jim Meskimen
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Unspeakable Loss, Nisha offers support, guidance, and wisdom from others who have experienced the death of a child, as well as her personal story after the death of her beloved 17-year-old son, Victor, and her insight as a grief counselor and psychotherapist. Charting the long path from the worst possible nightmare, shock, trauma, and overwhelming pain to a life that once again miraculously contains joy, love, and laughter, The Unspeakable Loss addresses the importance of self-compassion and self-care.
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Words When There Are None
- By Margery Diamond on 11-18-17
By: Nisha Zenoff
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On Grief and Grieving
- By: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, David Kessler
- Narrated by: David Kessler, Samantha Desz
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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On Death and Dying began as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kübler-Ross' and Kessler's professional and personal experiences.
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If you fear death after loss, DON'T READ.
- By wrinkled sheets on 07-06-21
By: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and others
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F--ked at 40
- Life Beyond Suburbia, Monogamy and Stretch Marks
- By: Tova Leigh
- Narrated by: Tova Leigh
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Creator, mother, lover, and social media phenomenon Tova Leigh explores what the hell you are supposed to do when you find yourself living a life you don't remember signing up for. I was bored, angry, tired, and sad. I felt all alone yet I had nothing to complain about. I had a good job, a husband who wasn't shagging his assistant, three children who apart from being the occasional a**holes were pretty good kids; a house, a dog, and everything else we are told as little girls we should aspire to. But inside, I was growing restless.
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awesome
- By Amazon Customer on 10-09-20
By: Tova Leigh
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A Season with Mom
- Love, Loss, and the Ultimate Baseball Adventure
- By: Katie Russell Newland
- Narrated by: Katie Newland, Gabe Wicks
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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After surviving both Hodgkin’s lymphoma and melanoma, sports enthusiast Katie Russell Newland knows the struggles of overcoming challenges both on and off the field. This book offers listeners an intimate, true story about the bond shared between a mother and daughter, a road trip to all 30 Major League Baseball (MLB) parks, and the importance of relishing every joy and struggle along the way. Join Katie as she travels more than 30,000 miles to all 30 MLB parks in a single season, a rare feat covered by ESPN.
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A lovely little books of letters that takes you on a grand adventure!
- By Elle Beeh on 05-02-21
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Fierce Love
- Creating a Love That Lasts - One Conversation at a Time
- By: Susan Scott
- Narrated by: Susan Scott
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Often in our romantic relationships we long for deep connection, but we don't know how to communicate well, and sometimes even withhold what we're really thinking and feeling. As couples, we don't stop to think how important our conversations are. And we certainly don't understand that what we talk about and how we talk about them determine whether our relationships will thrive, flatline, or fail. In Fierce Love, Susan Scott guides couples through conversations that lead to deep connection and lasting commitment.
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A must read for a thriving relationship
- By Geoff Woods on 01-15-22
By: Susan Scott
What listeners say about Bearing the Unbearable
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- Ghost
- 11-17-24
Grieving is a rebellious act
This is the best grief resource I’ve found so far. The author’s points of view were just what I needed to hear, and what I think our grief-fearing society, collectively, needs to hear. Her writing is absolutely relevant to anyone who has lost someone they love (I lost my only and younger sibling 1 month ago) but I also found it applicable to all of the grief we experience in our daily lives. I highly recommend this book to everyone.
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- RKClarke
- 08-09-24
Beautifully helpful
Sincerely loved listening to Dr. Jo tell the stories, helping all of us that are walking this path of grief and I’m sure even those that haven’t experienced it.
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- Madea Brooks
- 07-29-24
Best book on grief I’ve read.
This is the best book I’ve read in grief. It helped me understand how normal my feelings are and that I don’t have to be so afraid of facing my grief.
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- Arizona Mom
- 04-17-24
Being with grief
The book, Bearing the Unbearable, might seem to be a counter-intuitive approach to grief given what our "be happy" culture tells us about how to handle grief. While the world is telling us to get better, feel better and move on, it is, rather, through approaching and embracing grief that it helps us transform. Through the many grief stories from bereaved parents, siblings, spouses and children who have lost parents, Dr. Cacciatore demonstrates the power and value in giving space to remembering and honoring our deceased loved ones. I highly recommend this book.
- a bereaved Mom (K's Mom)
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1 person found this helpful
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- A. American Woman
- 06-26-24
For ALL grieving! Especially traumatic grief!
I lost my childhood & adulthood by every abuse you can think of & many you can't, I lost my only child (1996), I cared for & watched my only grandma die (1999), I lost my only sibling to suicide (2001) then my parents 1 week later for 15 years for reasons I do not know (I wrote them all that time to only receive deafening silence, but always told rhem I loved them & my door was always open...they came back into my life in 2016 when I was all they had left as 1 already had started w/early dementia & both would then get different dementias), I lost my health & due to an injury & lifetime of abuse became 100% physically & emotionally disabled w/chronic pain, Fybromyalgia, Complex-PTSD, Severe Depression, ADD, Osteoarthritis, & more in 1998, I lost my 1st Shih Tzu after 16 long sweet years that kept me alive after I lost my ENTIRE family in 2 short yrs,, & in 2021 I lost my OH SO precious 2nd Shih Tzu care dog who was killed VICIOUSLY by 4 HUGE dogs (her alone & afraid in what was to be her safe back yard when a backyard young boy opened the gate between our properies & their dogs (a Rottweiler, 2 German Shephards & a Doberman) killed her horrifically (she had PTSD & was my shadow & my joy...I still can't pet a dog over 2 yrs later, she was my joy), I lost many in my husband of 21 yrs family due to them not understanding why one 100% disabled me caring for 8 long, horrible, grief-stricken years of ambiguous, anticipatory, & complicated longterm grief for BOTH of my parents as I loved & watched them BOTH die slowly together from 2 different dementias & I had no time nor energy for anything or anyone else but my sweet husband, whom they ignored, I lost a dear granddaughter of my husband's whom I'd loved for 20 years when she was taught to hate whites in CA (tho' I'd been married to a Spanish/Mexican family for 20 years & loved all races) & committed HORRIFIC hate crimes against me, down to wishing me DEAD (as I was still caring for my end-stage parents suffering w/dementias & we were giving her a free place to live temporarily), & this past yr (2023-24) I watched BOTH of my parents die HORRIBLY! It has not been 3 months yet & I can barely function. I am alone in my grief-I have no children & no siblings, no family of my own! Some people sent flowers, yet no one came to hold me, except my husband. I have cried almost daily for 8 years! TWO DAYS before my last parent, my mother (the HARDEST death of ALL), the husband of another of my husband's granddaughters, shamed me for caring for my "f*cked up parents." (10 months after my dad had died as I was watching my precious mother dying horribly!) They were to be my caregivers someday & my PoA's. Now I will die ALONE, as they are being removed from EVERYTHING, as I cannot have people like that caring for me. Worst of all, I am married to the love of my life & he is older than me & 83 & mom died @ 87! I fear his death will kill me! Worst of all, I have lost ALL faith in humanity, whom I have tried my best to ALWAYS love & encourage, but now want NOTHING to do with! I just will love my sweet husband & then I will be gone! This book should be read ESPECIALLY by the YOUNGER GENERATION of today who do not seem to understand DEEP GRIEVING as they have been spoiled mostly as children (at least those we know) nor how to love us who are "past suicide" (from this book). A must for all humanity!
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- Beth
- 01-12-25
I’m a new widow
As a new widow, this book helped to validate many of my experiences. Recommend this book for those experiencing the loss of a loved one.
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- Brittany
- 10-04-24
wow wow wow
I am so blown away by this book. it took me awhile to finally choose my next book on grief because some of the ones out there just honestly aren't that great. But this one, this one?
I'll be listening to this over and over and over again I believe.
Joanne's words have been so comforting and supportive to me and empowering me on my grief journey.
I too enjoy helping people as a life coach + am so inspired to be as knowledgeable as Joanne one day in the world of grief and helping my clients as well.
Even Joanne's personality sounds a lot like mine, caring for animals, veganism, and crying at the Injustice of the maltreatment of humans and animals around the globe.
I loved this book. there are actual tools to take away, and beautiful stories to hold in my heart for the rest of my life. Thank you so much Joanne! I hope to meet you one day. holding your heart as I hold mine 🫶🤟🙏✨
🫶Brittany
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- Mia Beasley
- 12-05-24
It spoke to my heart
This book said everything I felt, but didn’t have the courage to speak. I am grateful that she had the courage to write it. I look forward to passing out the kindness cards in memory of my daughter,
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- Jamie G.
- 01-05-25
Comforting and healing
I started this book a week after my brother’s death and it has been comforting and healing. Grieving is a forever process but with Joanne’s help, I feel a little better equipped with what I may face over the coming years. Thank you for this book.
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- Katherine Webster
- 05-28-24
Grieving Mother
This is the first grief book out of the many, many dozens I've read in the three years since my adult son died that I did not rip to shreds (metaphorically speaking) in a rage.
thank you
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1 person found this helpful