The Grieving Brain
The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss
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Narrated by:
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Callie Beaulieu
About this listen
NPR SciFri Book Club Pick
Next Big Idea Club's "Top 21 Psychology Books of 2022"
Behavioral Scientist Notable Books of 2022
A renowned grief expert and neuroscientist shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning.
In The Grieving Brain, neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, gives us a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. O’Connor has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, and in this book, she makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible through her contagious enthusiasm, and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, or how to imagine a future without them.
The Grieving Brain addresses:
- Why it’s so hard to understand that a loved one has died and is gone forever
- Why grief causes so many emotions—sadness, anger, blame, guilt, and yearning
- Why grieving takes so long
- The distinction between grief and prolonged grief
- Why we ruminate so much after we lose a loved one
- How we go about restoring a meaningful life while grieving
Based on O’Connor’s own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and her real-life stories, The Grieving Brain combines storytelling, accessible science, and practical knowledge that will help us better understand what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace.
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Brainstorm
- The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Between the ages of twelve and twenty-four, the brain changes in important and, at times, challenging ways. In Brainstorm, the renowned psychiatrist and bestselling author of Parenting from the Inside Out, The Whole-Brain Child, and Mindsight, Daniel Siegel busts a number of commonly held myths about adolescence — for example, that it is merely a stage of “immaturity” filled with often “crazy” behavior — to reveal how it is in fact a vital time in our lives in terms of charting the course for the adults we ultimately become.
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Narration for kindergarteners...
- By Kalutha on 03-28-14
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Getting Past Your Past
- Take Control of Your Life With Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy
- By: Francine Shapiro
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether we've experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or don't fully understand. Getting Past Your Past offers practical procedures that demystify the human condition and empower listeners looking to achieve real change. An easy conversational style, humor, and fascinating real life stories make it simple to understand the brain science behind why we get stuck in various ways and what we can about it.
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
- By MZHOLLAND on 08-20-12
By: Francine Shapiro
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Uncovering Happiness
- Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-compassion
- By: Elisha Goldstein PhD
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Most of us believe when we're depressed that our situation is hopeless. That's a mistake, Dr. Elisha Goldstein reassures us in Uncovering Happiness. The secret to overcoming depression and uncovering happiness is in harnessing our brain's own natural antidepressant power and ultimately creating a more resilient antidepressant brain.
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Great book, but focused on depression.
- By wrenekape on 03-22-15
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Super Mind
- How to Boost Performance and Live a Richer and Happier Life Through Transcendental Meditation
- By: Norman E. Rosenthal MD
- Narrated by: Dan Woren
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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The noted research psychiatrist and New York Times best-selling author explores how Transcendental Meditation permanently alters your daily consciousness, resulting in greater productivity, emotional resilience, and aptitude for success.
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Infomercial
- By Amazon Customer on 11-22-16
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A User's Guide to the Brain
- Perception, Attention, and the Four Theaters of the Brain
- By: John J. Ratey
- Narrated by: Eric Martin
- Length: 16 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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John Ratey, best-selling author and clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, lucidly explains the human brain's workings, and paves the way for a better understanding of how the brain affects who we are. Ratey provides insight into the basic structure and chemistry of the brain, and demonstrates how its systems shape our perceptions, emotions, and behavior. By giving us a greater understanding of how the brain responds to the guidance of its user, he provides us with knowledge that can enable us to improve our lives.
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Great book, mediocre narration
- By Dr. B on 09-25-18
By: John J. Ratey
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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
- By Jeffrey Olsen on 09-24-18
By: Bruce D. Perry, and others
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How the Body Knows Its Mind
- The Surprising Power of the Physical Environment to Influence How You Think and Feel
- By: Sian Beilock
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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An award-winning scientist offers a groundbreaking new understanding of the mind-body connection and its profound impact on everything from advertising to romance. The human body is not just a passive device carrying out messages sent by the brain but rather an integral part of how we think and make decisions.
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The New Science Of The Mind Body Connection!
- By Dianne on 04-06-15
By: Sian Beilock
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Brain Rules for Aging Well
- 10 Principles for Staying Vital, Happy, and Sharp
- By: John Medina
- Narrated by: John Medina
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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How come I can never find my keys? Why don't I sleep as well as I used to? Why do my friends keep repeating the same stories? What can I do to keep my brain sharp? Scientists know. Brain Rules for Aging Well, by developmental molecular biologist Dr. John Medina, gives you the facts - and the prescription to age well - in his signature engaging style. With so many discoveries over the years, science is literally changing our minds about the optimal care and feeding of the brain. All of it is captivating. A great deal of it is unexpected.
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Scientific and practical
- By symya08 on 04-29-18
By: John Medina
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Emotional Intelligence
- By: Daniel Goleman
- Narrated by: Barrett Whitener
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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It is the tenth anniversary since the first publication of Daniel Goleman's groundbreaking bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, which maps the territory where IQ meets EQ, where we apply what we know to how we live. Spending over a year on the New York Times bestseller list, Emotional Intelligence provided the evidence for what many successful people already knew: being smart isn't just a matter of mastering facts; it's a matter of mastering your own emotions and understanding the emotions of the people around you.
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Good info, hard to listen sometimes
- By Stephanie on 04-16-03
By: Daniel Goleman
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Suspicious Minds
- How Culture Shapes Madness
- By: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Narrated by: Joel Gold, Ian Gold
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Mr. A. was admitted to Dr. Joel Gold’s inpatient unit at Bellevue Hospital in 2002. He was, he said, being filmed constantly, and his life was being broadcast around the world "like The Truman Show" - the 1998 film depicting a man who is unknowingly living out his life as the star of a popular soap opera. Over the next few years, Gold saw a number of patients suffering from what he and his brother, Dr. Ian Gold, began calling the "Truman Show Delusion," launching them on a quest to understand the nature of this particular phenomenon and the nature of madness itself.
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Intriguing
- By L. K. on 04-18-16
By: Joel Gold, and others
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The Attachment Effect
- Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives
- By: Peter Lovenheim
- Narrated by: Graham Winton
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Attachment theory is having a moment. Recently covered in the New York Times Magazine, New York magazine, and elsewhere, it's also the subject of popular relationship guides. Why is this 60-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love - and how. Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim went on a years-long journey to understand it from the inside out.
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Failed to Attach
- By Danielle SeCheverell on 07-21-20
By: Peter Lovenheim
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Counterclockwise
- Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility
- By: Ellen J. Langer
- Narrated by: Sandra Burr
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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If we could turn back the clock psychologically, could we also turn it back physically? For more than 30 years, award-winning social psychologist Ellen Langer has studied this provocative question, and now has a conclusive answer: opening our minds to what's possible, instead of clinging to accepted notions about what's not, can lead to better health at any age.
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Surprisingly disappointing
- By Stephen on 06-23-09
By: Ellen J. Langer
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It's OK That You're Not OK
- Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
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Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides - as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner - Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing.
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The author of this book is capital-A Angry
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Grief Is a Sneaky Bitch
- An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss
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- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
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When social worker Lisa Keefauver became a widow in 2011, she was alarmed to discover that even though 100 percent of us experience loss, we’re living in a grief illiterate world. In her work as a therapist and in her search for help in the wake of her own loss, Keefauver began to see how the misguided stories we consume about grief lead to unnecessary suffering. Responding to the problematic narratives that grief is something to move on from after completing the five stages like some sort of to-do list, Keefauver became a grief activist.
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On Grief and Grieving
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On Death and Dying began as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kübler-Ross' and Kessler's professional and personal experiences.
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If you fear death after loss, DON'T READ.
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Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief
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A groundbreaking audiobook exploring the little-known yet critical connections between anxiety and grief, with practical strategies for healing, following the renowned Ka-Ross stages model. Anxiety disorders are on the rise; many people are looking for resources to help them cope with anxiety, yet most people aren't aware that unresolved grief is a primary underpinning—or that the two are related at all.
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Absolutely read this
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The Grieving Body
- How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing
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While we can speak to the psychological and emotional ramifications of loss and sorrow, we often overlook its impact on our physical bodies. Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor specializes in the study of grief, and in The Grieving Body she shares vital scientific research, revealing imperative new insights on its profound physiological impact. As she did in The Grieving Brain, O’Connor combines illuminating studies and personal stories to explore the toll loss takes on our cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems and the larger implications for our long-term well-being.
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Bearing the Unbearable
- Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
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When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity.
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Informative !
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It's OK That You're Not OK
- Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
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Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides - as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner - Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing.
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The author of this book is capital-A Angry
- By A. E. Ober on 08-26-20
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Grief Is a Sneaky Bitch
- An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss
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When social worker Lisa Keefauver became a widow in 2011, she was alarmed to discover that even though 100 percent of us experience loss, we’re living in a grief illiterate world. In her work as a therapist and in her search for help in the wake of her own loss, Keefauver began to see how the misguided stories we consume about grief lead to unnecessary suffering. Responding to the problematic narratives that grief is something to move on from after completing the five stages like some sort of to-do list, Keefauver became a grief activist.
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On Grief and Grieving
- By: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, David Kessler
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On Death and Dying began as a theoretical book, an interdisciplinary study of our fear of death and our inevitable acceptance of it. It introduced the world to the now-famous five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the process of grieving and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, all based on Kübler-Ross' and Kessler's professional and personal experiences.
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If you fear death after loss, DON'T READ.
- By wrinkled sheets on 07-06-21
By: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, and others
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Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief
- A Revolutionary Approach to Understanding and Healing the Impact of Loss
- By: Claire Bidwell Smith
- Narrated by: Claire Bidwell Smith
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A groundbreaking audiobook exploring the little-known yet critical connections between anxiety and grief, with practical strategies for healing, following the renowned Ka-Ross stages model. Anxiety disorders are on the rise; many people are looking for resources to help them cope with anxiety, yet most people aren't aware that unresolved grief is a primary underpinning—or that the two are related at all.
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Absolutely read this
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The Grieving Body
- How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing
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While we can speak to the psychological and emotional ramifications of loss and sorrow, we often overlook its impact on our physical bodies. Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor specializes in the study of grief, and in The Grieving Body she shares vital scientific research, revealing imperative new insights on its profound physiological impact. As she did in The Grieving Brain, O’Connor combines illuminating studies and personal stories to explore the toll loss takes on our cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems and the larger implications for our long-term well-being.
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Grief Is Love
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In Grief is Love, author Marisa Renee Lee reveals that healing does not mean moving on after losing a loved one—healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief. It is about learning to love the one you lost with the same depth, passion, joy, and commitment you did when they were alive, perhaps even more. She guides you through the pain of grief—whether you’ve lost the person recently or long ago—and shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and debunks the idea of a grief stages or timelines.
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Self-Absorbed Politically-Correct Drivel
- By mf on 09-05-22
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The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition
- the Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses Including Health, Career, and Faith
- By: John W. James, Russell Friedman
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Updated to commemorate its 20th anniversary, this classic resource further explores the effects of grief and sheds new light on how to begin to take effective actions to complete the grieving process' and work towards recovery and happiness. Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness. Drawing from their own histories as well as from others', the authors illustrate how it is possible to recover from grief and regain energy and spontaneity.
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Thinking. Feeling. Next step: Doing
- By Fr0gStar on 03-23-20
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Finding Meaning
- The Sixth Stage of Grief
- By: David Kessler
- Narrated by: David Kessler
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
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In this groundbreaking new work, David Kessler - an expert on grief and the coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the iconic On Grief and Grieving - journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning.
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paying it forward
- By Sandra Sena on 07-11-20
By: David Kessler
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Healing After the Loss of Your Mother
- A Grief & Comfort Manual
- By: Elaine Mallon
- Narrated by: Jane Oppenheimer
- Length: 2 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Healing After the Loss of Your Mother is a heartfelt and practical guidebook for those mourning the loss of their mother and for supporters hoping to help a loved one through the grief. Like a compassionate friend, author Elaine Mallon captures the raw, unique pain of losing your mother with empathy, honesty, and eloquence. She tenderly walks the listener through each step of the grieving process, offering straightforward answers to many common questions and addressing fears faced by those grieving, as well.
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Helpful to hear even 3 months later
- By Tina B on 06-15-21
By: Elaine Mallon
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Grief Day by Day
- Simple Practices and Daily Guidance for Living with Loss
- By: Jan Warner
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In Grief Day by Day, Jan Warner draws on her own extensive experience and the experiences of the 2 million followers on her Grief Speaks Out Facebook page to offer hope in its most practical form. This audiobook does not look to offer a solution to grief. Rather, it provides supportive, useful guidance to help you create a life in which peace, and even gratitude, can coexist with your grief. There is no “right way” to grieve, and there is no right way to use this book.
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Helpful
- By spucky85 on 04-11-19
By: Jan Warner
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Can Anyone Tell Me?
- Essential Questions About Grief and Loss
- By: Meghan Riordan Jarvis MA LCSW
- Narrated by: Annalee Scott
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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If you’ve experienced the trauma of loss, you might find yourself struggling with the “whys” of grief: Why can’t I remember anything? Why can’t I sleep? Why do I feel angry and isolated? Why do I suddenly dislike my friends? Psychotherapist and grief specialist Meghan Riordan Jarvis shares a research-based resource filled with clinical insights to these questions and more, along with practical steps for navigating loss. Whether you’re currently grieving or are looking to support a loved one, here is guidance to uncover the answers to why and discover what you can do to help.
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I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye
- Surviving, Coping, and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One
- By: Brook Noel, Pamela D. Blair Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Tapping their personal histories and drawing on numerous interviews, authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., explore unexpected death and its role in the cycle of life. I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye provides survivors with a rock-steady anchor from which to weather the storm of pain and begin to rebuild their lives.
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Best Grief Book yet
- By Paul F. on 08-02-14
By: Brook Noel, and others
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Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons
- Good Grief Series, Book 1
- By: Gary Roe
- Narrated by: Gary Roe
- Length: 1 hr and 21 mins
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You've lost someone you love. Your heart is broken. Now you're facing a holiday or special occasion. What are you going to do? How do you handle this? Best-selling author, hospice chaplain, and grief counselor Gary Roe has given you a grief survival kit designed for the holidays. Speaking from both personal and professional grief experiences, he will empower you to navigate special days and seasons with new confidence.
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Just different was of thinking to help you make it easier
- By Ricky Lees on 05-22-24
By: Gary Roe
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Understanding and Coping with Grief
- By: Joanne Cacciatore, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Joanne Cacciatore
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Original Recording
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Over the course of 10 lectures, Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, a research professor at Arizona State University and founder of the MISS Foundation, explores the nuances of grief and grieving, particularly within our often grief-avoidant culture.
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Amazing
- By Rob on 12-14-22
By: Joanne Cacciatore, and others
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Good Grief
- Heal Your Soul, Honor Your Loved Ones, and Learn to Live Again
- By: Theresa Caputo
- Narrated by: Theresa Caputo
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The star of TLC's Long Island Medium and New York Times best-selling author Theresa Caputo provides a guide to overcoming grief, filled with inspiring lessons from Spirit and astonishing stories from the clients who have been empowered by Theresa's spiritual readings.
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Book on audio is the best
- By D on 04-26-17
By: Theresa Caputo
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The Long Grief Journey
- How Long-Term Unresolved Grief Can Affect Your Mental Health and What to Do About It
- By: Pamela D. Blair PhD, Bradie McCabe Hansen MA
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Grief does not follow a timeline or a set path. It is nonlinear and messy, doubling back on itself just when you thought you were out of the woods. Those who have experienced the loss of a loved one know this unequivocally, but Western society still seems to think that grief should only last six months to a year—tops—when in fact, grief can last throughout a person's entire life and manifest as serious mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, anger, and despair.
By: Pamela D. Blair PhD, and others
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Before and After Loss
- A Neurologist's Perspective on Loss, Grief, and Our Brain
- By: Lisa M. Shulman MD
- Narrated by: Donna Postel
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Lisa M. Shulman, a neurologist, describes a personal story of loss and her journey to understand the science behind the mind-altering experience of grief. Part memoir, part creative nonfiction, part account of scientific discovery, this moving book combines Shulman's perspectives as an expert in brain science and a keen observer of behavior with her experience as a clinician, a caregiver, and a widow.
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Great for one who lost a spouse or counsels one...
- By Amanda B. on 08-18-19
What listeners say about The Grieving Brain
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Becca K
- 11-21-23
Complexities of Grieving Brains
As a bereaved mom and recent widowed nurse, I rather enjoyed the scientific research behind what I had been feeling with the sudden loss of our firstborn. And then now, with the recent loss of my husband, I can see the difference of why my son’s loss was so difficult for the whole family & I versus my hubby’s death from a 10.5 month battle with an aggressive brain cancer. Wow! What great information and how I can see how invaluable a wonderful grief therapist really is. Thank you, Mary-Frances O’Conner for scientifically proving I wasn’t “going crazy”!
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- R. Spen
- 10-24-23
So very insightful
I recommend this book to anyone who is faced with grieving. It really makes you think of your life differently!!!
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- Diana The Coach
- 12-10-23
Helpful
Grieving is not the same for all and this helped me understand that. Feeling thankful!
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- Dr. Sybil Ingram
- 12-18-24
Grief can be demonstrated on mris
Gave me confirmation of why I’m still suffering and that it’s okay for me to feel this way for as long as it takes
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- Heather
- 08-11-22
I liked the informative views she took
However I wish she would have delved into
More of the actual studies she did on people bereaved.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-13-23
Helpful
I was looking for something g more specific rather that “find the light in your grief” type of book, as someone that has felt with depression and anxiety all her life grief was something I extremely different and incomprehensible, this book helped me to understand my brain during this process.
Had to repeat a few parts but the author makes a great job explaining complex subjects.
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- A. Rosario
- 07-05-23
Helpful
I found this book very helpful in figuring out the feelings I’m having about the loss of my wife. The reading is a little robotic but that actually helps make it less emotional which is what I think the material requires. Still, there could have been a little more emotion. Also, knowing what’s happening inside of me at this time is useful. Knowing that I’m not going crazy is a huge relief.
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- Loving Tall Stories!
- 11-07-23
Science as Solace
After my husband died I read CS Lewis several times and then listened to this book several times. What a great solace to understand my poor grieving wonderful brain - I found the two pieces of literature that I needed. Thank you universe …. Or maybe Jerry sent them to me???
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- Anonymous User
- 10-29-23
Informative easy to follow book on grief
As a grief coach this will be a book I recommend to clients and colleagues to read when they’re ready. Lots of good academic research mentioned helps people understand their grief better.
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- Anonymous User
- 12-11-23
Mary Frances should read her book
I am having a hard time even getting through the first chapter…the reader is AWFUL!! Mary Frances has such a dynamic presence…this reader does NOT!
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