Defy
The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes
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Narrated by:
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Dr. Sunita Sah
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By:
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Dr. Sunita Sah
About this listen
Why is it so hard to speak up, even when we know something’s wrong?
This is the definitive book on defiance, a clear-eyed dissection of the forces that silence us, featuring groundbreaking research and legendary stories alongside everyday examples and strategies for how to unleash the power of a “True No.”
Many of us comply much more than we realize. How many times have you wanted to object, disagree, or opt out of something but ended up swallowing your words, shaking your head, and just going along? Analyzing cases ranging from corporate corruption and sexual abuse to everyday acquiescence at work, the doctor’s office, and in our personal lives, award-winning organizational psychologist Dr. Sunita Sah delves deep into why the pressure to comply is a corrosive and often invisible force in our society.
With her own revelatory research, she radically transforms our idea of defiance from a misunderstood negative trait into a crucial, positive force for personal and societal change. Taking us through her five stages of defiance, Dr. Sah equips listeners with simple tools to make decisions that align with their values. Defy is the essential playbook for how to speak up and act when it matters most.
©2024 Sunita Sah (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“In Defy, Dr. Sunita Sah brilliantly reframes our understanding of defiance—from an act of mere rebellion to a vital tool for personal growth and social change. This book is a powerful, transformative read for anyone who’s ever felt the tension between doing what’s expected and doing what’s right.”—Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret
“A powerful book. If you’ve ever compromised your principles to please others, Defy will give you the will—and skill—to stand up for yourself.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again
“Dr. Sunita Sah shows us that defiance isn’t just for protests; it’s just as vital at the kitchen table. Even though I’m someone who is dedicated to challenging the system, Defy showed me how often I let others’ beliefs eclipse my own . . . Defy is a must-read for anyone committed to justice and building an inclusive world.”—LaTosha Brown, organizer, strategist, and co-founder of Black Voters Matter
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-
Story
For many people, a good life is a stable life, a comfortable life that follows a well-trodden path. This is the case for Shigehiro Oishi's father, who has lived in a small mountain town in Japan for his entire life, putting his family's needs above his own, like his father and grandfather before him. But is a happy life, or even a meaningful life, the only path to a good life? In Life in Three Dimensions, Shige Oishi enters into a debate that has animated psychology since 1984, when Ed Diener (Oishi's mentor) published a paper that launched happiness studies.
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Outraged
- Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground
- By: Kurt Gray
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s easy to assume that liberals and conservatives have radically different moral foundations. In Outraged, Kurt Gray showcases the latest science to demonstrate that we all have the same moral mind—that everyone’s moral judgments stem from feeling threatened or vulnerable to harm, and provides a captivating new explanation for our moral outrage, and unpacks how to best bridge divides. If you want to understand the morals of the “other side,” ask yourself a simple question—what harms do they see?
By: Kurt Gray
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Ping
- The Secrets of Successful Virtual Communication
- By: Andrew Brodsky
- Narrated by: Sean Patrick Hopkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Despite our increasing reliance on communication technology for our work, until now, there has been no guide for navigating it. Which brings us to Ping. In this accessible book for workers of all stripes—remote, hybrid, and those who work fully in person, yet use communication technologies as part of their jobs—Brodsky dives into the big questions we all have: Which communication modes are the best for which situations? How can we interact most productively and authentically? How do we build relationships at a distance? How can we increase workplace inclusion using these technologies?
By: Andrew Brodsky
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Calling In
- By: Loretta J Ross
- Narrated by: Loretta J Ross
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From a pioneering Black feminist and MacArthur “Genius” Fellow, an urgent and exhilarating memoir-manifesto-handbook about how to rein in the excesses of cancel culture so we can truly communicate and solve problems together.
By: Loretta J Ross
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Reset
- How to Change What's Not Working
- By: Dan Heath
- Narrated by: Dan Heath
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Reset, Heath explores a framework for getting unstuck and making the changes that matter. The secret is to find “leverage points”: places where a little bit of effort can yield a disproportionate return. Then, we can thoughtfully rearrange our resources to push on those points.
By: Dan Heath
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Validation
- How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life
- By: Caroline Fleck
- Narrated by: Caroline Fleck
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
We all spend a lot of energy trying to get the people in our lives to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was to demonstrate acceptance? Enter validation—communication that one is mindful, understands, and empathizes with another person's experience, thereby accepting it as valid. As both a means and an end, validation has profound effects, from improving relationships and de-escalating conflicts to increasing our ability to generate self-compassion and help people change their behavior.
By: Caroline Fleck
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Life in Three Dimensions
- How Curiosity, Exploration, and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life
- By: Shigehiro Oishi PhD
- Narrated by: Brian Nishii
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For many people, a good life is a stable life, a comfortable life that follows a well-trodden path. This is the case for Shigehiro Oishi's father, who has lived in a small mountain town in Japan for his entire life, putting his family's needs above his own, like his father and grandfather before him. But is a happy life, or even a meaningful life, the only path to a good life? In Life in Three Dimensions, Shige Oishi enters into a debate that has animated psychology since 1984, when Ed Diener (Oishi's mentor) published a paper that launched happiness studies.
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Outraged
- Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground
- By: Kurt Gray
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s easy to assume that liberals and conservatives have radically different moral foundations. In Outraged, Kurt Gray showcases the latest science to demonstrate that we all have the same moral mind—that everyone’s moral judgments stem from feeling threatened or vulnerable to harm, and provides a captivating new explanation for our moral outrage, and unpacks how to best bridge divides. If you want to understand the morals of the “other side,” ask yourself a simple question—what harms do they see?
By: Kurt Gray
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Ping
- The Secrets of Successful Virtual Communication
- By: Andrew Brodsky
- Narrated by: Sean Patrick Hopkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Despite our increasing reliance on communication technology for our work, until now, there has been no guide for navigating it. Which brings us to Ping. In this accessible book for workers of all stripes—remote, hybrid, and those who work fully in person, yet use communication technologies as part of their jobs—Brodsky dives into the big questions we all have: Which communication modes are the best for which situations? How can we interact most productively and authentically? How do we build relationships at a distance? How can we increase workplace inclusion using these technologies?
By: Andrew Brodsky
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Calling In
- By: Loretta J Ross
- Narrated by: Loretta J Ross
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From a pioneering Black feminist and MacArthur “Genius” Fellow, an urgent and exhilarating memoir-manifesto-handbook about how to rein in the excesses of cancel culture so we can truly communicate and solve problems together.
By: Loretta J Ross
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Reset
- How to Change What's Not Working
- By: Dan Heath
- Narrated by: Dan Heath
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Reset, Heath explores a framework for getting unstuck and making the changes that matter. The secret is to find “leverage points”: places where a little bit of effort can yield a disproportionate return. Then, we can thoughtfully rearrange our resources to push on those points.
By: Dan Heath
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Shift
- Managing Your Emotions—So They Don't Manage You
- By: Ethan Kross
- Narrated by: Ethan Kross
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Whether it’s anxiety about going to the doctor, boiling rage when we’re stuck in traffic, or devastation after a painful break-up, our lives are filled with situations that send us spiraling. But as difficult as our emotions can be, they are also a superpower. Far from being “good” or “bad,” emotions are information. When they’re activated in the right ways and at the right time, they function like an immune system, alerting us to our surroundings, telling us how to react to a situation, and helping us make the right choices. But how do we make our emotions work for us rather than against us?
By: Ethan Kross
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Superagency
- What Could Possibly Go Right with Our AI Future
- By: Reid Hoffman, Greg Beato
- Narrated by: Scott Wallace
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Superagency offers a roadmap for using AI inclusively and adaptively to improve our lives and create positive change. While acknowledging challenges like disinformation and potential job changes, the book focuses on AI’s immense potential to increase individual agency and create better outcomes for society as a whole. Imagine AI tutors personalizing education for each child, researchers rapidly discovering cures for diseases like Alzheimer's and cancer, and AI advisors empowering people to navigate complex systems and achieve their goals
By: Reid Hoffman, and others
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The Bright Side
- How Optimists Change the World, and How You Can Be One
- By: Sumit Paul-Choudhury
- Narrated by: Sumit Paul-Choudhury
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Scrolling through our daily newsfeeds we see violence and cruelty, turmoil and injustice, fake news and clickbait, and worsening environmental and social crises—just a few of the dark currents feeding a tidal wave of pessimism. In the face of so many challenges, how can we stay optimistic? And, more important, why should we? In The Bright Side, Sumit Paul-Choudhury answers these pressing questions, arguing that optimism is not only essential for overcoming the challenges we face, but also fundamental to human wellbeing
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Make Work Fair
- Data-Driven Design for Real Results
- By: Iris Bohnet, Siri Chilazi
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 12 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
To make organizations more fair, many well-meaning individuals and companies invest their time and resources in diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. But because inequity is built into the structures, processes, and environments of our workplaces, adding these programs has been ineffective and often becomes a burden passed off to the individuals they are meant to help. In Make Work Fair, behavioral scientist and author of What Works Iris Bohnet and gender expert Siri Chilazi offer data-backed, actionable solutions that build fairness into the very fabric of the workplace.
By: Iris Bohnet, and others
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Open When
- A Companion for Life’s Twists & Turns
- By: Julie Smith
- Narrated by: Julie Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this essential guide, Dr. Julie teaches her millions of readers and clients how to navigate life’s toughest occurrences while they’re happening, rather than moments or years after the fact. What if we can learn to harness our emotions and stay present so we can process and choose how to respond to a situation? Picking up where Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? leaves off, Dr. Julie shares the research-backed concepts and powerful skills we can use to weather our most vulnerable moments.
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Thank you for another excellent book!
- By E. Heyn on 01-07-25
By: Julie Smith
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Inspire
- The Universal Path for Leading Yourself and Others
- By: Adam Galinsky
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Social psychologist and leadership expert Adam Galinsky has spent three decades building a method for determining when we are inspiring versus infuriating, and where various leaders—presidents, CEOs, coaches, teachers, parents, and a wealth of others—currently land on that spectrum. Galinsky shows how inspiring leaders can fill us with a wellspring of hope and possibility as they guide us to become better versions of ourselves. In contrast, infuriating leaders disappoint and annoy, fueling seething cauldrons of rage.
By: Adam Galinsky
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You Deserve to Be Rich
- Master the Inner Game of Wealth and Claim Your Future
- By: Rashad Bilal, Troy Millings
- Narrated by: Rashad Bilal, Troy Millings
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
You deserve to be rich. You deserve to make a purchase without fear that your check might bounce. You deserve to go on vacation. You deserve to care for loved ones without worrying about bills. You deserve to live the way you want, without reservations or fear. You deserve freedom—financial freedom. If you agree, you’ve come to the right place. We grew up in New York playing basketball together. As kids, both of us were fascinated by finance, curious about the stock market and how money moves among systems and pockets.
By: Rashad Bilal, and others
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The Heart of Winter
- A Novel
- By: Jonathan Evison
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr
- Length: 13 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Abe Winter and Ruth Warneke were never meant to be together—at least if you ask Ruth. Yet their catastrophic blind date in college evolved into a seventy-year marriage and a life on a farm on Bainbridge Island with their hens and beloved Labrador, Megs. Through the years, the Winters have fallen in and out of lockstep, and from their haunting losses and guarded secrets, a dependable partnership has been forged.
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Wow!
- By Sarj on 01-13-25
By: Jonathan Evison
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Talk
- The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves
- By: Alison Wood Brooks
- Narrated by: Alison Wood Brooks
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Talk, Brooks shows why conversing a little more effectively can make a big difference in the quality of our close personal relationships as well as our professional success. Drawing on the new science of conversation, Brooks distills lessons that show how we can better understand, learn from, and delight each other.
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All the Water in the World
- A Novel
- By: Eiren Caffall
- Narrated by: Eunice Wong
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
All the Water in the World is told in the voice of a girl gifted with a deep feeling for water. In the years after the glaciers melt, Nonie, her older sister and her parents and their researcher friends have stayed behind in an almost deserted New York City, creating a settlement on the roof of the American Museum of Natural History. The rule: Take from the exhibits only in dire need. They hunt and grow their food in Central Park as they work to save the collections of human history and science. When a superstorm breaches the city’s flood walls, Nonie and her family must escape north.
By: Eiren Caffall
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A New Earth
- Awakening Your Life's Purpose
- By: Eckhart Tolle
- Narrated by: Eckhart Tolle
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With his bestselling spiritual guide The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle inspired millions of readers to discover the freedom and joy of a life lived “in the now.” In A New Earth, Tolle expands on these powerful ideas to show how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world.
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A Realized Being Shares In Person...a rare find.
- By Mr. Word Sponge on 12-05-09
By: Eckhart Tolle
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Switch
- How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
- By: Dan Heath, Chip Heath
- Narrated by: Charles Kahlenberg
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Why is it so hard to make lasting changes in our companies, in our communities, and in our own lives? The primary obstacle is a conflict that's built into our brains, say Chip and Dan Heath, authors of the critically acclaimed best seller Made to Stick. Psychologists have discovered that our minds are ruled by two different systems - the rational mind and the emotional mind - that compete for control. The rational mind wants a great beach body; the emotional mind wants that Oreo cookie.
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Even Better Than Made to Stick
- By Jeremy Devens on 02-24-10
By: Dan Heath, and others