How to Be Enough
Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists
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Narrated by:
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Ellen Hendriksen
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By:
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Ellen Hendriksen
About this listen
This program is read by the author.
"Hendriksen's voice resonates with confidence and intensity."—AudioFile on How to Be Yourself
Are you your own toughest critic? Learn to be good to yourself with this clear and compassionate guide.
Do you set demanding standards for yourself? If so, a lot likely goes well in your life: You might earn compliments, admiration, or accomplishments. Your high standards and hard work pay off.
But privately, you may feel like you’re falling behind, faking it, or different from everybody else. Your eagle-eyed inner quality control inspector highlights every mistake. You try hard to avoid criticism, but criticize yourself. Trying to get it right is your guiding light, but it has lit the way to a place of dissatisfaction, loneliness, or disconnection. In short, you may look like you’re hitting it out of the park, but you feel like you’re striking out.
This is perfectionism. And for everyone who struggles with it, it’s a misnomer: perfectionism isn’t about striving to be perfect. It’s about never feeling good enough.
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen—clinical psychologist, anxiety specialist, and author of How to Be Yourself—is on the same journey as you. In How to Be Enough, Hendriksen charts a flexible, forgiving, and freeing path, all without giving up the excellence your high standards and hard work have gotten you. She delivers seven shifts—including from self-criticism to kindness, control to authenticity, procrastination to productivity, comparison to contentment—to find self-acceptance, rewrite the Inner Rulebook, and most of all, cultivate the authentic human connections we’re all craving.
With compassion and humor, Hendriksen lays out a clear, effective, and empowering guide. To enjoy rather than improve, be real rather than impressive, and be good to yourself when you’re wired to be hard on yourself.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press Essentials.
©2025 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2025 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure. If you get nervous in social situations - meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss - you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done - especially if you're prone to social anxiety.
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"Life" Changing
- By Lisa on 05-22-18
By: Ellen Hendriksen
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Secrets of Adulthood
- Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives
- By: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 2 hrs
- Unabridged
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The right idea, invoked at the right time, can change our lives. Drawing from her long studies of happiness, and also from the challenges she’s faced herself, writer Gretchen Rubin has discovered the “Secrets of Adulthood” that can help us manage the complexities of life. To convey her conclusions, she turned to the aphorism—the ancient literary discipline that demands that a writer convey a large truth in a few words.
By: Gretchen Rubin
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Open When
- A Companion for Life’s Twists & Turns
- By: Julie Smith
- Narrated by: Julie Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In this essential guide, Dr. Julie teaches her millions of readers and clients how to navigate life’s toughest occurrences while they’re happening, rather than moments or years after the fact. What if we can learn to harness our emotions and stay present so we can process and choose how to respond to a situation? Picking up where Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? leaves off, Dr. Julie shares the research-backed concepts and powerful skills we can use to weather our most vulnerable moments.
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Thank you for another excellent book!
- By E. Heyn on 01-07-25
By: Julie Smith
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Beyond Anxiety
- Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life's Purpose
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Martha Beck, Maria Shriver
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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We live in an epidemic of anxiety. Most of us assume that the key to overcoming it is to think our way out. And for a while it works. But there is always something that sends us back into the anxious spiral we’ve been trying to climb out of. In Beyond Anxiety, Dr. Martha Beck explains why anxiety is skyrocketing around you, and likely within you. She also tells you how to not only reduce your anxiety but use it to propel you into a life filled with peace, meaning, and joy.
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Message for humanity
- By Drew on 01-10-25
By: Martha Beck
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The Bright Side
- How Optimists Change the World, and How You Can Be One
- By: Sumit Paul-Choudhury
- Narrated by: Sumit Paul-Choudhury
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Scrolling through our daily newsfeeds we see violence and cruelty, turmoil and injustice, fake news and clickbait, and worsening environmental and social crises—just a few of the dark currents feeding a tidal wave of pessimism. In the face of so many challenges, how can we stay optimistic? And, more important, why should we? In The Bright Side, Sumit Paul-Choudhury answers these pressing questions, arguing that optimism is not only essential for overcoming the challenges we face, but also fundamental to human wellbeing
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Who Better than You?
- The Art of Healthy Arrogance & Dreaming Big
- By: Will Packer
- Narrated by: Will Packer, Regina Hall, Kevin Hart, and others
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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You know Will Packer’s movies. From Stomp the Yard to Ride Along to Girls Trip, his films have collectively grossed more than $1 billion at the box office, with ten opening at number one! To outsiders, the unabashed confidence that has driven him since his college days—when he was trying to sell a micro-budget indie film—may look like arrogance. To Packer, that’s just what it took to make it on his own terms. With Who Better Than You?, Packer has created the success toolkit he wished he’d had back then.
By: Will Packer
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The Good Mother Myth
- Unlearning Our Bad Ideas About How to Be a Good Mom
- By: Nancy Reddy
- Narrated by: Sara Sheckells
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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When Nancy Reddy had her first child, she found herself suddenly confronted with the ideal of a perfect mother—a woman who was constantly available, endlessly patient, and immediately invested in her child to the exclusion of all else. Reddy had been raised by a single working mother, considered herself a feminist, and was well on her way to a PhD. Why did doing motherhood "right" feel so wrong? For answers, Reddy turned to the mid-20th century social scientists and psychologists whose work still forms the basis of so much of what we believe about parenting.
By: Nancy Reddy
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Treating Anxiety
- By: Ellen Hendriksen, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Original Recording
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In the 12 fascinating and action-oriented lectures of Treating Anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen describes the causes and symptoms of numerous anxiety disorders—from generalized anxiety disorder to social anxiety to panic. In her calming manner, and always backed by rigorous scientific studies, she will give you numerous tools and exercises you can employ immediately to help treat your own anxiety. After all, few of us are in danger of being eaten by a bear these days and, as Dr. Henricksen points out, we don’t want to spend our lives hiding in the metaphorical cave.
By: Ellen Hendriksen, and others
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The Simple Art of Letting Go
- Daily Mindful Practices to Move Beyond the Past, Claim Inner Peace, and Find Your Path to Emotional Freedom
- By: Lila Hart
- Narrated by: Suzi Myers Tipa
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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How to move on from anguish to a brighter future, even if you’ve been holding on for years. The journey is not easy, but it can be simple, and this book will show you a step-by-step process for getting through it.
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As they say... let that s&!t go.
- By Dr. CC on 01-19-25
By: Lila Hart
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Our New Social Life
- Science-Backed Strategies for Creating Meaningful Connection
- By: Jaime Kurtz, Natalie Kerr
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world where everything seems to transform in a blink, anyone can suddenly find themselves scrambling for human connection. Someone who has always found it easy to connect can suddenly feel disoriented if they start a new job, move to a new region, or welcome a new member into the family. Others may have always found it difficult to connect, feel they've outgrown their circles, or may feel dissatisfied for a range of other reasons. Natalie Kerr and Jaime Kurtz explain the science behind these struggles and steer us toward timeless skills to overcome these challenges.
By: Jaime Kurtz, and others
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Against Platforms
- Surviving Digital Utopia (Activist Citizens Library)
- By: Mike Pepi
- Narrated by: Tim Andres Pabon
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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At the turn of the millennium, digital technologies seemed to have immense promise for transforming our society. With these powerful new tools, the thinking went, we would be free to live our best lives, connected to our communities in ways full of infinite potential. A quarter of a century on, this form of utopianism seems like a cruel mirage. So what happened? In Against Platforms, technologist and creator Mike Pepi lays out an explanation of what went wrong—and a manifesto for putting it right.
By: Mike Pepi
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The Certainty Illusion
- What You Don't Know and Why It Matters
- By: Timothy Caulfield
- Narrated by: Timothy Caulfield, Tyrone Savage
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world where there is so much conflicting information about how we are supposed to live, what can we really know? Knowing the truth, what’s real from what’s fake, should be easy. In today’s world, that’s far from the case. In The Certainty Illusion, Timothy Caulfield lifts the curtain on the forces contributing to our information chaos and unpacks why it’s so difficult—sometimes even for experts—to escape the fake.
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Tidy Up Your Life
- Rethinking How to Organize, Declutter, and Make Space for What Matters Most
- By: Tyler Moore
- Narrated by: Tyler Moore
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Tyler Moore felt his life resembled an overstuffed closet: disorganized and overly busy behind tidy, closed doors. When it all became too much—for his family's 750-square-foot apartment and his mental health—he set out to unpack the physical and emotional mess around him. Chronicling his progress as “Tidy Dad” on Instagram, Moore learned that tidying is about so much more than the aesthetics and decluttering of a physical space. When he stepped back, reflected, and named what was "just enough," he was able to devise systems and hacks that brought order to his whole life.
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Great book
- By Kathleen Valiente on 01-17-25
By: Tyler Moore
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The English Problem
- A Novel
- By: Beena Kamlani
- Narrated by: Vidish Athavale
- Length: 16 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Shiv Advani is an eighteen-year-old growing up in India. But he is no ordinary young man. Shiv has been personally chosen by Mahatma Gandhi to come to England, learn their laws, and then return home and help drive the British out of India. Before he leaves, his family insists he fulfill his arranged marriage, and he is hastily betrothed to a young woman he hardly knows. He arrives in London and soon discovers a world he is both repelled by and drawn to. Shiv knows his duty: get in, learn the letter of the law, get out.
By: Beena Kamlani
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The People Pleaser Transformation for Women
- Learn How & Why to Set Healthy Boundaries & Say Yes to Your No (Self Worth & Empowerment Series, Book 1)
- By: H.L. Nakamura
- Narrated by: Torin Andrus
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Break free from people pleasing with your complete guide to setting boundaries, building self-worth, and overcoming codependency. Are you trapped in the exhausting cycle of people pleasing, constantly putting everyone else's needs before your own? Discover the proven path to break free and finally start living life on your own terms.
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You won’t be disappointed with this engaging experience.
- By Cindy1645 on 01-21-25
By: H.L. Nakamura
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Toxic Striving
- Why Hustle and Wellness Culture Are Leaving Us Anxious, Stressed, and Burned Out―and How to Break Free
- By: Paula Freedman-Diamond PsyD
- Narrated by: Stefanie Kay
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Paula Freedman offers a clear path to help you move beyond toxic striving and instead turn inward for guidance. Using a combination of evidence-based tools and strategies grounded in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and intuitive eating, you'll gain the insight needed to reconnect with your true values, reclaim your physical and mental health, develop unwavering self-compassion and confidence, and live by your own rules.
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99% Perspiration
- A New Working History of the American Way of Life
- By: Adam Chandler
- Narrated by: Adam Chandler
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” This phrase, arguably Thomas Edison’s most famous quote, has been drilled into the minds of generations of Americans. A fairly straightforward iteration of the idea that innovation, discovery, and ingenuity are the result of drive and grit above all, it has also come to represent much darker myths: that hard work always leads to success and that achievement is the product of individuals and not communities.
By: Adam Chandler
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Reset
- How to Change What's Not Working
- By: Dan Heath
- Narrated by: Dan Heath
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In Reset, Heath explores a framework for getting unstuck and making the changes that matter. The secret is to find “leverage points”: places where a little bit of effort can yield a disproportionate return. Then, we can thoughtfully rearrange our resources to push on those points.
By: Dan Heath