
How to Be Enough
Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists
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Narrated by:
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Ellen Hendriksen
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By:
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Ellen Hendriksen
About this listen
“Psychologist and therapist Ellen Hendriksen has a likable, easygoing narrating style that holds together the impressive amount of useful information in her latest audiobook.”—AudioFile
This program is read by the author.
Are you your own toughest critic? Learn to be good to yourself with this clear and compassionate guide.
Do you set demanding standards for yourself? If so, a lot likely goes well in your life: You might earn compliments, admiration, or accomplishments. Your high standards and hard work pay off.
But privately, you may feel like you’re falling behind, faking it, or different from everybody else. Your eagle-eyed inner quality control inspector highlights every mistake. You try hard to avoid criticism, but criticize yourself. Trying to get it right is your guiding light, but it has lit the way to a place of dissatisfaction, loneliness, or disconnection. In short, you may look like you’re hitting it out of the park, but you feel like you’re striking out.
This is perfectionism. And for everyone who struggles with it, it’s a misnomer: perfectionism isn’t about striving to be perfect. It’s about never feeling good enough.
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen—clinical psychologist, anxiety specialist, and author of How to Be Yourself—is on the same journey as you. In How to Be Enough, Hendriksen charts a flexible, forgiving, and freeing path, all without giving up the excellence your high standards and hard work have gotten you. She delivers seven shifts—including from self-criticism to kindness, control to authenticity, procrastination to productivity, comparison to contentment—to find self-acceptance, rewrite the Inner Rulebook, and most of all, cultivate the authentic human connections we’re all craving.
With compassion and humor, Hendriksen lays out a clear, effective, and empowering guide. To enjoy rather than improve, be real rather than impressive, and be good to yourself when you’re wired to be hard on yourself.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press Essentials.
©2025 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2025 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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- By: Ethan Kross
- Narrated by: Ethan Kross
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether it’s anxiety about going to the doctor, boiling rage when we’re stuck in traffic, or devastation after a painful break-up, our lives are filled with situations that send us spiraling. But as difficult as our emotions can be, they are also a superpower. Far from being “good” or “bad,” emotions are information. When they’re activated in the right ways and at the right time, they function like an immune system, alerting us to our surroundings, telling us how to react to a situation, and helping us make the right choices. But how do we make our emotions work for us rather than against us?
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The toolkit I never knew that I needed
- By Tyler L on 02-07-25
By: Ethan Kross
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The Certainty Trap
- Why We Need to Question Ourselves More—and How We Can Judge Others Less
- By: Ilana Redstone, Joe Walsh - foreword
- Narrated by: Lisa Larsen, Qarie Marshall
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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When we’re in the Certainty Trap, we tend to view people who disagree with us as hateful, ignorant, or just plain stupid. When it comes to heated social and political issues in particular, many of us know this feeling well—a consuming state of righteous indignation and moral outrage. By committing to challenging and clarifying our thinking—by avoiding the trap certainty sets for us—we can increase social trust, reduce political polarization, and better address the world’s pressing challenges.
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Hard to disagree with, but gets long-winded
- By ChrisM. on 05-09-25
By: Ilana Redstone, and others
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Goodbye Social Anxiety
- The Only Book on Social Anxiety, Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence You'll Ever Need
- By: David Hamilton, Angelina Williams
- Narrated by: Tom Haig
- Length: 4 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you ready to erase social anxiety, boost your self-esteem, and unleash your true potential? David Hamilton and Angelina Williams offer a no-nonsense guide filled with field-tested, science-backed techniques that promise quick and lasting results.
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Finally something that helped me.
- By B on 12-02-19
By: David Hamilton, and others
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Beyond Anxiety
- Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life's Purpose
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Martha Beck, Maria Shriver
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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We live in an epidemic of anxiety. Most of us assume that the key to overcoming it is to think our way out. And for a while it works. But there is always something that sends us back into the anxious spiral we’ve been trying to climb out of. In Beyond Anxiety, Dr. Martha Beck explains why anxiety is skyrocketing around you, and likely within you. She also tells you how to not only reduce your anxiety but use it to propel you into a life filled with peace, meaning, and joy.
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Good tips on dealing with anxiety
- By andrea l vu on 02-18-25
By: Martha Beck
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On My Own Side
- Transform Self-Criticism and Doubt into Permanent Self-Worth and Confidence
- By: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Narrated by: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Length: 16 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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After writing the runaway best seller Not Nice, Dr. Aziz returns to tackle the biggest killer of confidence: your own inner critic. That voice in your head tells you that you can’t achieve what you want or be loved for who you are, because you’re not enough. Unfortunately, most people don’t realize just how much that negative voice is running their lives, creating stress, anxiety, perfectionism, relentless business, and overwhelm.
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Life changing!!
- By Mike on 10-12-20
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Thriving with Anxiety
- 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You
- By: David H. Rosmarin
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Through nine easy-to-follow strategies, Dr. David H. Rosmarin demonstrates how to harness the power of anxiety to learn about ourselves, deepen our relationships with others, and achieve our deepest goals and dreams.
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It is well worth your time and money
- By @DrCarlHoffman on 11-01-23
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Validation
- How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life
- By: Caroline Fleck PhD
- Narrated by: Caroline Fleck PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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We all spend a lot of energy trying to get people to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was to demonstrate acceptance? Enter validation—communication where one accepts and sees the validity in another person’s experience. Research on validation shows that it has profound effects, from improving relationships and de-escalating conflicts to increasing one’s influence and self-compassion.
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A work of LOVE
- By Mark A. Tomski, M.D. on 02-25-25
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Ordinary Magic
- The Science of How We Can Achieve Big Change with Small Acts
- By: Gregory M. Walton PhD
- Narrated by: Gregory M. Walton PhD, Hattie Tate
- Length: 14 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The emotional questions we face can define our lives. If you’re expecting an interaction to go wrong, that expectation can make it so. That’s spiraling down. But as esteemed Stanford psychologist Greg Walton shows, when we see these questions clearly, we can answer them well. Known to social psychologists as wise interventions, these shifts in perspective can help us chart new trajectories for our lives. They help us spiral up. This is ordinary magic: The ordinary experiences that help us set aside the ordinary worries of life to unleash extraordinary change.
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So simple and so profound
- By S. Ma on 05-17-25
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The Art and Science of Connection
- Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier
- By: Kasley Killam
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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A groundbreaking redefinition of what it means to be healthy that introduces the need for social health—the part of wellbeing that comes from feeling connected—to truly flourish. Exercise. Eat a balanced diet. Go to therapy. Most wellness advice is focused on achieving and maintaining good physical and mental health. But Harvard-trained social scientist and pioneering social health expert Kasley Killam reveals that this approach is missing a vital component: human connection.
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Let’s Connect
- By Hall Johnson on 12-02-24
By: Kasley Killam
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You Are Enough
- Escaping Narcissism and Codependency and Creating Self-Love
- By: RH P
- Narrated by: Cassandra Buck
- Length: 1 hr and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Have you ever felt like you’re never good enough? Do you feel like everything is your fault? Answering yes to these questions displays the awful side effects of narcissistic abuse. It’s these side effects that hold us back in life, keeping us frozen and insecure. As a therapist and a survivor of abuse myself, I know how you feel. I see you. The good news is that you can overcome limiting and toxic beliefs that were instilled by narcissists.
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Eye-opening and Nurturing
- By Dolfus Bafflepot on 05-21-21
By: RH P
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Happier at Home
- Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life
- By: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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One Sunday afternoon, as she unloaded the dishwasher, Gretchen Rubin felt hit by a wave of homesickness. Homesick - why? She was standing right in her own kitchen. She felt homesick, she realized, with love for home itself. In a flash, she decided to undertake a new happiness project, and this time, to focus on home. And what did she want from her home? A place that calmed her, and energized her. A place that, by making her feel safe, would free her to take risks. Also, while Rubin wanted to be happier at home, she wanted to appreciate how much happiness was there already.
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A lot of repeated information and stories
- By Elizabeth on 07-27-18
By: Gretchen Rubin
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Outer Order, Inner Calm
- Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness
- By: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 2 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Gretchen Rubin has found that getting control of our stuff makes us feel more in control of our lives. By getting rid of things we don't use, don't need, or don't love, we free our minds (and our shelves) for what we truly value. With a sense of fun, and a clear idea of what's realistic for most people, Gretchen Rubin suggests dozens of manageable steps for creating a more serene, orderly environment - one that helps us to create the lives we want.
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Listen to the podcast.
- By Kindle Customer on 03-06-19
By: Gretchen Rubin
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Less Nice, More You
- Stop Hiding & Become the Most Bold, Authentic Version of You Now
- By: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Narrated by: Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Have you been too nice for too long? Have you tried to speak up for yourself, have better boundaries, or take care of your own needs, only to feel anxious, stuck, or guilty? The unfortunate truth is people-pleasing and excessive niceness are debilitating patterns that most people never truly change. They remain in this “cage of niceness” until their final days, when they experience a strong sense of regret for living a life that wasn’t truly their own.
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I love Aziz. He's changed my life.
- By shannon maraghy on 08-06-24
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Secrets of Adulthood
- Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives
- By: Gretchen Rubin
- Narrated by: Gretchen Rubin
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The right idea, invoked at the right time, can change our lives. Drawing from her long studies of happiness, and also from the challenges she’s faced herself, writer Gretchen Rubin has discovered the “Secrets of Adulthood” that can help us manage the complexities of life. To convey her conclusions, she turned to the aphorism—the ancient literary discipline that demands that a writer convey a large truth in a few words.
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this is just an audiobook of someone saying phrases that other people have already said.
- By Jaclyn Smith on 04-02-25
By: Gretchen Rubin
Accessible and actionable
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Revealing
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Super helpful tools to use immediately
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This book went to the next level and helped me understand perfectionists and how they can deal with it. While I don't consider myself a perfectionist (Good enough is my catch phrase ;-), it did help me understand some people in my life that are more like that and how they can deal with their strength and weakness (depending on the situation). Just like in the previous book, super funny, educational, and insightful. LOVED IT!
LOVED this book!
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worth every minute
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