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Don't Let Your Kids Kill You
A Guide for Parents of Drug and Alcohol Addicted Children
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Narrated by:
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Tom Zingarelli
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By:
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Charles Rubin
About this listen
When kids turn to substance abuse, parents also become victims as they watch their children transform into irrational and antisocial individuals. This harrowing scenario finds parents buckling beneath the stress, often with catastrophic consequences: divorce, career upsets, breakdowns, and worse.
Don't Let Your Kids Kill You is a landmark work that dares to focus on the plight of the confused, distressed parent and not the erring child. It sets aside any preconceived ideas that parents are to blame for what is essentially a full-blown global crisis. Drawing on interviews with parents who have survived the heartbreak of kids on drugs, combined with his own experience, Charles Rubin provides practical advice on how parents can help themselves and their families by first attending to their own needs.
©2016 Charles Rubin (P)2016 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
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- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
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Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
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- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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The Breakup Bible
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- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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The Power is Within You
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Louise expands on her philosophy of "loving the self" and shows you how to overcome emotional barriers through learning to listen to your inner voice, loving the child within, letting your true feelings out, and much more!
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Fabulous Audiobook!
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By: Louise Hay
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Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
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Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
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Dissapointed
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Inner Voice
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Inner Voice: Unlock Your Purpose and Passion tells the story of how one man's struggle to find the true meaning of life evolved into a worldwide movement known as Inner Voice. Internationally recognized businessman, financial expert, and real-estate icon Russ Whitney spent five years and 20,000 hours researching and developing this program. It is built on simple yet powerful principles and strategies that guide listeners to identify their purpose.
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How to manual on how to become a better person.
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By: Russ Whitney
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
- Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity
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Friendship. Simplicity. Love. Value. Faith. Solitude. Money. Fear. Hope. Purpose. Dr. Meg Meeker has seen mothers struggle with these 10 issues for the past 25 years, and she has also learned how to help them live less stressful, happier, more fulfilling lives. The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers will show women how to reduce loneliness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem by inspiring women to embrace more positive emotions and habits.
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Recommend the book but had hard time listening to
- By Kaletra Dispennett on 12-25-16
By: Meg Meeker M.D.
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The Body Never Lies
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Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patients along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness - be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases.
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Remarkably Enlightened
- By Amazon Customer on 08-24-16
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Finding Your Own North Star
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As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Stars and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.
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Narration not for me
- By MARYANN ORDONEZ on 10-02-17
By: Martha Beck
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What listeners say about Don't Let Your Kids Kill You
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- Maria H.
- 08-13-20
adult child of addiction
this book was very helpful with dealing with the disease of addiction helping me set some boundaries and taking care of me and how to help my child I do suggest that you read this book because I can identify with so much it would like he was telling my story overall great book
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- Mmattingly
- 02-22-23
So relatable highly recommended
My therapist recommended this book to
me and I’m glad she did. As a parent of an addict the stories and feelings were so relatable in this book. I found myself
checking the boxes to those same emotions. As some one who has detached and set boundaries for my addicted son, I always found myself questioning if I’m doing the right thing. This book confirmed my husband and I
are. The recovery process will take time. To continue to work on me as that will be the best for all and that all I can do.
Thank you for writing your story. We are not alone.
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- LINDA
- 08-31-18
MUST READ!
If your child has a drug problem this book can save your sanity. Read it!
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- McElrath Education
- 03-05-24
Necessary
This was such a personal eye-opener. Everyone, whether having a child on drugs or working with addicts will benefit from this book. I am deeply encouraged. I would like to see an updated version, especially with the rise of the internet, the pandemic and the fentanyl crisis.
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- joe smith
- 04-01-19
this book is awesome.
great book about addiction and how it affects parents of addicts. absolutely should be read or listened to by anyone who loves an sddict
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Laura Urbalejo
- 12-13-19
Excellent
So good! I have listened to multiple times. A keeper!Thank You! A handbook for life!
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- Rebecca X
- 12-30-17
Your kids may not recover, but you can
This book starts off stating that it’s the only book out there that focuses solely at the parents, and not the erring child. I didn’t understand that at first, because there are several books out there that offer guidance to family members on how to get their loved ones clean. I was missing the point. This book is NOT about how to get your child clean. The author is realistic about this harrowing fact: your child may never recover. This is devastating, but the point is that whether or not your child gets better, the parents can. The parents can have their life back.
My daughter has been addicted to drugs for five years now. She has been to rehab about ten times, she has worked the steps, and she has relapsed over and over. Recently, after a period of sobriety, she told me flat out, “I don’t want to be sober.” This never occurred to me; I always thought she wanted it. My daughter might never get better. But I desperately want to, and this book gives me some ideas about how to get started on my own recovery.
It is a quick read, and written by a parent who gets it. I highly recommend it.
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- Carrin Jankowski
- 08-01-20
Highly Recommended
For any family dealing with the devastating effects of addicted children, this is a game changer. This is the most helpful book I have ever read..thank you
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- Steve Kauffman
- 01-27-17
The Best Book on Addiction I've Been Through
What did you love best about Don't Let Your Kids Kill You?
Very useful information! I've been through about 20 books on addiction to help a family member. This, and Love First by Jeff Jay are the most useful/practical! This book doesn't get too much on the nuts and bolts of addiction (there are tons of books for that). Just useful information!
What other book might you compare Don't Let Your Kids Kill You to and why?
None...although I also highly recommend Love First by Jeff Jay! Also check out the Love First website and go through all the YouTube videos on it!
What did you learn from Don't Let Your Kids Kill You that you would use in your daily life?
I'm not alone in this problem. I shouldn't have to attack this problem, alone, since millions of other people have gone through it! Also, my family member is no different from any other addict! He is not a special case, and the behaviors of addicts is predictable!
Any additional comments?
Sorry you have to go through this. I wish you the best of luck! The most important thing is for you to take care of yourself!
Get educated about doing an intervention and try that out! You can get educated about the intervention process by going through the Love First audio book, and through all the videos and resources on the website! You can hire professional interventionist to assist you, too- just look online or ask a respectable rehab! You can probably bargain the interventionist's first price lower.
Go through this audio book and Love First several times!
More important than doing an intervention is following through on the "Bottom Lines" and stopping the Enabling behaviors!
-Don't give the addict money
-Don't provide a car
-Don't provide a free place to stay
-Don't provide a job at your business
-Don't make the minimum payment for the addict's credit cards
Do set healthy boundaries! Do continue paying the addict's health insurance (since many rehabs accept health insurance now)
The process of kicking a loved one out of the house causes a lot of anxiety for parents and the entire family! I highly recommend attending meetings such as Al-Anon, Parents Anonymous, or CoDependents Anonymous at least until your loved one accepts treatment, and completes at least 3 months of treatment. Also check with a MFT counselor that specializes in addiction and take care of yourself!
It takes an average of 4 stints in rehab until a person stays sober for life! Every time they go to rehab they will learn something new! Try again even though they relapsed the last time! It may take a few times!
Some rehabs are shady, and there is no official monitoring organization. Send your loved one to a reputable rehab with a good reputation. Ideally, the rehab should be at least a couple hours drive from home so he/she can not run away from the rehab and meet his/her addicted friends. The Hazelden chain of rehabs is good, and insurance covers most of the treatment. Many rehabs have 'sliding scales' so ask. If some one with a low income pays for the rehab, the cost might be lowered.
If the addiction is really bad, send the addict to treatment for a minimum of 90 days, and 1 year in a sober living home after the rehab. If they stay sober for 1 year, they have a 50% chance of never using again. If they stay sober for 2 years, they have a 70% chance of not relapsing!
If they are extremely dangerous to harming themselves, and other people, and are not able to take care of themselves, you can call 911 and do a psyche hold (although this may really tarnish your relationship). You can also call 911 when they are driving and are endangering other people. A judge ora psyche hold may mandate rehab.
I wish you the best of luck. Take care and God bless you!
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8 people found this helpful
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- donna loftin
- 09-12-19
This book spoke to me. Made ne not feel so alone.
this book really spoke to be. it made me. Feel so alone. unfortunately in my daughter's case addiction won . I wish I would have had this book available to me 20 years ago. by the time my daughter passed at age 37 from mental illness and drug addiction my emotional and financial life or a complete ruin. I can't stress enough that when your child is on drugs they have disappeared. we went so hard for our words of wisdom to bake a two friends but they surely could just fall on deaf ears and are usually used against us. is a twisted nightmare that only those who have traffic this path can understand. It is possible to save yourself. thank you for this book
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