Preview
  • When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us

  • Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
  • By: Jane Adams
  • Narrated by: Jane Adams
  • Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (103 ratings)

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When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us

By: Jane Adams
Narrated by: Jane Adams
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Publisher's summary

How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our 20- and even 30-somethings who can't seem to grow up? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least not yet - and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers, retirement, and other family relationships.

With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children - Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own.

©2003 Jane Adams (P)2016 Tantor
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What listeners say about When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

The substance lies on the last 3 chapters

Too many experiences overwhelmed me. However the last 3 chapters were inspiring enough to catch my full attention.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great book

Listened to it 3 times. Need more details on detachment though. How to do that.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

I thought I was the only one

Loved how personal this book was. From drug using children to adult children in jail/in trouble

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

The concept of detachment which is helpful for parents with children who disappoint them.

The story of parents help realize we are not alone in this painful and devastating journey.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Spot On!

I have been struggling to move on from my adult son for almost a decade and this book reinforced the decisions I am making are positive and I can finally move forward without the guilt.

The advise in this book has been monumental for me to hear and know that my story isnt unique, its a text book story for the parents of addicts and we have tomlet go and move on.

great book.

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3 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Was hoping for more

The basic messages are 1. accept that your kids’ choices are not your fault, 2. Learn to detach, 3. Get on with your own life. I did journal a good quote from this book... “now is the only time I can make any difference”, so at least I got that. This audiobook was difficult to listen to, the author narrates herself, and she does not have a good narration voice. I’m glad the book was as short as it was, otherwise I would have had a hard time finishing it.

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4 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Great book for parents with older kids title misleading

As a parent of an older child , this book has given me a space to listen and be , interesting how we experience similar thoughts but we dont have a platform to put it out there

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

helpful

I listened to it all the way through...will listen again...I took in some keynotes...I realized I stopped my daughter now 51 from growing up...always bailing her out...not anymore...I'm done hurting...my other two son's I've called it quits with them...no more abuse..what hurts is not seeing my granddaughters...

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

this book helped me tremendously

perfect read for this time in my life. I am 61 my daughter is 26. she is addicted to heroin and her 4 month old was taken by child protective services. She has chosen drugs over her son at this point. (he is in foster care and is currently 11 months old). I hope she straightens out before it's too late, but I cannot make her go to rehab. I had to distance myself. She will go when she is ready.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Too many sad stories

Good inspiration to know you're not alone and that you don't need to feel guilty for your adults. It just took too long to get to the end.

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