
Headpats After Dark
A cozy yandere romcom for men who like crazy vampire women
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Narrated by:
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Raya Kane
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Richard Brock
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By:
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Virgil Knightley
About this listen
She's the most beautiful woman he's ever met. She's also his archnemesis.
It would be an understatement to call Trevon Beaumont an accomplished monster slayer. He's traversed the European countryside upholding the legacy of his clan one completed mission at a time for the whole of his adult life. Now he's on his most perilous quest yet: slay the cruel but beautiful Countess Dracula.
Just as the two of them seem ready to conclude their final battle, however, an unexpected act of betrayal sends them hurtling together through time—bloodbonding them, thus entwining their fates. Reappearing in the twenty-first century, they must get jobs and find a place to stay while they decide how best to proceed now that they are unable to continue their battle to the death.
But when Dracula rapidly develops a romantic obsession for Trevon, things get complicated. Even worse, Trevon's forced proximity to the queen of all creatures of the night means that his own self-control is constantly tested. What will become of their budding relationship? Will it be hot?
Headpats After Dark is a wholesome yandere romantic comedy written for men who enjoy the trope of obsessive women with a few screws loose. This is a work of fiction. If your significant other acts like Dracula does in this novel, those are red flags, people. Take heed.
©2023 Virgil Knightley (P)2023 Royal Guard Publishing LLCListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Taken from my old life with little memory of what brought me here, I wake up in a high tech capsule. A wrinkly old elf tells me that my soul is incomplete and has been fused with that of a Solar Dragon to give me a second chance at life. Where? When? An urban metropolis filled with fantasy races, erected atop the back of a giant asteroid. Meteoropolis. And millions of years in the future, to boot. But that's not all. I've got super powers, too. To add to the excitement, I end up hosted by an anxious unicorn elf named Pinky Peach who is basically a professional gamer girl.
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Dumb Batman
- By Zack on 07-25-24
By: Virgil Knightley
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Backyard Goblins
- By: Virgil Knightley
- Narrated by: Jonathan Waters, Mandy McCullough
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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When a trio of cute goblins emerged from a silver portal that appeared out of nowhere on my property...things got a bit more complicated all of a sudden. Also, I soon discovered they bite and scratch: mostly each other, but sometimes me.
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Historically inaccurate!
- By Jay on 11-09-23
By: Virgil Knightley
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Esoterica: The Omnibus
- The Lovecraftian Saga
- By: Virgil Knightley
- Narrated by: Bruno Anderson, Peggy Greyson
- Length: 29 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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I'd known my fair share of tragedy in the last year. Lost my family, abandoned by my friends... things were looking down. Imagine my surprise when I get ripped out of my own reality and forcibly enrolled in a magic school nestled between the seams of the multiverse. My new purpose? Defend all of creation against the Outer Gods and keep from dying at the hands of the Void Things. But there's something nefarious about my headmistress... something I don't trust. At least I'm not alone anymore.
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Who would rate this 5 star?
- By Jeremy Burklow on 12-30-23
By: Virgil Knightley
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The Halls of Magic: Volume 1
- By: Annabelle Hawthorne, M.E. Thorne
- Narrated by: Melisandre Verte, Patrick Dubois
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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I thought I was destined for an early grave. Apparently, fate had other plans for me. My name is Jake. After twenty-three years of life, all I have to my name is a dead-end job and an undiagnosed metabolic disorder that has the doctors baffled. Everything changed on my birthday when I found a magical key that followed me home. It led me to the Halls of Magic, a multiversal repository of arcane knowledge that will allow me the chance to cure my broken body and unlock arcane power.
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not very good
- By Anonymous User on 01-18-25
By: Annabelle Hawthorne, and others
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Demon Lord Academy
- Demonic Education, Book 1
- By: Shane Hammond
- Narrated by: Alyssa Poon, Evan Jordan
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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My life was far from perfect, revolving around a dead-end school and caring for my sickly mother. It’s not until a chance encounter with a beautiful and mysterious blonde that I learn the truth about myself. You see, I’m not just an ordinary human. I’m a demon lord, potentially one of the strongest that’s ever lived. My mysterious new friend introduces me to the Academy for Demonic Education, where I learn about my emerging powers alongside my gorgeous classmates, including a shy brunette trying to find her voice as well as a famous shifter princess.
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good story, nicely done.
- By John on 08-28-24
By: Shane Hammond
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Heavy Metal Mana Omnibus: Books 1-3
- By: Ace Strutton
- Narrated by: Patrick Dubois, Melisandre Verte
- Length: 39 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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I was shredding a monster guitar solo then died on stage in a freak accident. Reborn, I discovered I was a mage with the power to control metal and kick ass! The Goddess of Chaos has set me loose in the Shimmerlands, a magic world under threat by a total buzzkill named Lord Manageer. He's banned magic, music, and everything that brings pleasure to the people. He must be stopped.
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Interesting Concept, Terrible Execution
- By Gavin Jones on 05-16-25
By: Ace Strutton
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A Goblin for Christmas
- By: Peter North
- Narrated by: Garrett Finlay, Erin Bateman
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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What's green and red and white all over? A cute goblin girl, dressed like Mrs. Claus! All Aiden wants for Christmas is a whole new life. He hates his job, his big city apartment, and everything **literally everything!** about Christmas. The only thing that might make the season bearable is if he had his imaginary goblin girlfriend at his side...
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it's a nice little escape
- By Jake Anderson on 02-16-25
By: Peter North
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Minotaur's Maze of Monster Girls Omnibus: Books 1-3
- By: Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski, Rebecca Woods
- Length: 36 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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After slaying a leviathan of the deep, and gaining a magic he barely understands, an ordinary fisherman finds himself entangled in a magical game of the gods with the fate of his planet as the prize. Dean becomes Oakley's champion, competing in the Minotaur's Maze. He travels through a portal to Mixonia, a city of wonders, filled with magic and monster girls of all sorts. As he levels up in his noble quest to save his home world, he will earn and lose fortunes, rescue a bevy of beautiful babes, and protect the innocents of planet Oakley.
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This was actually good.
- By Nate on 05-16-22
By: Marcus Sloss
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Hellmarine: They Shall Know Fear
- Hellmarine: A Slice-of-Demon Military Sci-Fi Epic, Book 1
- By: Virgil Knightley, Alphonse Fisk
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Richard Brock
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The UEC has been fighting a losing battle against the demonic hordes, forced to surrender more ground every day. But aboard the U.S.S. Shotgun Opera, the Overmaiden—a sixth-generation Ghost AI—has just forged humanity’s perfect weapon and best hope: a supersoldier. The man he used to be is gone, lost with his family to demons on the mining world of Aonus. All that’s left is hate, rage, and unyielding power. Rip, crunch, gore, dismember—the unstoppable juggernaut will slaughter his way through Hell, driven by righteous fury and a singular drive.
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Rip and Tear
- By james emeagwali on 01-19-25
By: Virgil Knightley, and others
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Master Class
- A Slice of Life Harem LitRPG
- By: Annabelle Hawthorne, Virgil Knightley
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet, Evan Jordan
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The Demon Lord is dead. The System is broken. Somehow, Elias Hearthsong is neither of these things, despite being at the final battle of the Demon Wars. He is a Master Enchanter, perhaps the last one alive. Determined to keep a promise, he crosses the continent to protect his dead friend's legacy: a crumbling orphanage run by a beautiful kitsune. He isn't a teacher, nor does he have experience with children. But with the love of a few good women, anything can become possible.
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Ok, but authors start to make weird choices...
- By Roy on 02-16-23
By: Annabelle Hawthorne, and others
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The Last Male Elf: The Complete Omnibus
- By: Virgil Knightley, Alphonse Fisk
- Narrated by: Aurora Bliss, Richard Brock
- Length: 16 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Illemitar Liminelda is the only elf anyone in the human territories of Middenheim has met in quite a while. Sure, there are a few Half-Elves around, but after the last war, even their kind had become a rare sight indeed. But Lemmy, as his friends call him, is pretty well-integrated into the human world. As a seasoned adventurer, raised by humans, he never really questioned his origins all that much.
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Awesome! As per usual.
- By DaynenMc on 08-08-24
By: Virgil Knightley, and others
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Apex Shifter Omnibus
- A Portal Adventure Boxset
- By: Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Jack Douglas, Alyssa Poon
- Length: 29 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Marvin toiled through endless work to achieve his dream of flipping properties. A strange man stalked him at his morning diner job, becoming a regular. When he unexpectedly follows him home from night shift, Marvin knows something isn't right. The next day he is offered a magical device. The emblem confirms the paranormal are real, people can partially shift into animals, and that Marvin isn't normal: he's something to be feared. As his life enters a whirlwind adventure, Marvin has to adapt as he becomes more than an ordinary man
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I really wanted to like it.
- By Bishop on 10-20-23
By: Marcus Sloss
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Soulstone Bakery
- Low Stakes. High Carbs. LitRPG Slice of Life.
- By: John Broadway
- Narrated by: Hannah Schooner, Giancarlo Herrera
- Length: 11 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Gavric Restweary, the Nephilim Reborn, has vanquished a legion of Hell singlehandedly. At the end of his quest, a gleaming jewel awaits him—the Duke of Terror's Soulstone. But it was never intended as a reward. Now forced by the Heavens to bear the Soulstone himself, Gavric must find a measure of peace by taking over his mother's bakery, lest Diabolicus escape his prison and corrupt the land anew. A heavy burden for one man to bear, but doing so gives him hope that he may live to find some reprieve from his trauma.
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Give me back my credit
- By Anonymous User on 01-26-24
By: John Broadway
Razor-sharp writing!
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Good overall!
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Top notch stuff and hilarious BUT
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the story was very fun to listen to and was fairly comical at certain points.
surprisingly fun
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Wow
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super fun
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as roaring and well taught. I love how to turned out
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Extremely fun
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Great listen, but not for me.
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goofy fun
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