How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $24.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Jeanette Illidge
-
By:
-
Django Wexler
About this listen
Groundhog Day meets Guardians of the Galaxy in Django Wexler’s laugh-out-loud fantasy tale about a young woman who, tired of defending humanity from the Dark Lord, decides to become the Dark Lord herself.
Davi has done this all before. She’s tried to be the hero and take down the all-powerful Dark Lord. A hundred times she’s rallied humanity and made the final charge. But the time loop always gets her in the end. Sometimes she’s killed quickly. Sometimes it takes a while. But she’s been defeated every time.
This time? She’s done being the hero and done being stuck in this endless time loop. If the Dark Lord always wins, then maybe that’s who she needs to be. It’s Davi’s turn to play on the winning side.
Burningblade & Silvereye
Ashes of the Sun
Blood of the Chosen
Emperor of Ruin
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Django Wexler (P)2024 OrbitListeners also enjoyed...
-
Dreadful
- By: Caitlin Rozakis
- Narrated by: Keval Shah
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing—from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess—is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all—who does he want to be?
-
-
The goblins!
- By Cady Wieck on 06-25-24
By: Caitlin Rozakis
-
Someone You Can Build a Nest In
- By: John Wiswell
- Narrated by: Carmen Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by hunters intent on murdering her, she constructs a body using a metal chain for a backbone, borrowed bones for limbs, and a bear trap as an extra mouth. However, the hunters chase Shesheshen out of her home and off a cliff. Badly hurt, she's found and nursed back to health by Homily, a warmhearted human, who has mistaken Shesheshen as a fellow human
-
-
Lovely!
- By Jason on 04-09-24
By: John Wiswell
-
I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons
- By: Peter S. Beagle
- Narrated by: Shaun Taylor-Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dragons are common in the backwater kingdom of Bellemontagne, coming in sizes from mouse-like vermin all the way up to castle-smashing monsters. Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (who would much rather people call him Robert) has recently inherited his deceased dad’s job as a dragon catcher/exterminator, a career he detests with all his heart in part because he likes dragons, feeling a kinship with them, but mainly because his dream has always been the impossible one of transcending his humble origin to someday become a prince’s valet.
-
-
A fun read, and slightly frustrating listen.
- By Zealous Moogle on 06-27-24
By: Peter S. Beagle
-
This Inevitable Ruin
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 7
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The ninth floor. Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal ... It all makes for great fun and even greater television. After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war. Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.
By: Matt Dinniman
-
An Unexpected Hero
- A LitRPG Adventure
- By: Rhett C. Bruno, Jaime Castle
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays, Justin Thomas James, Annie Ellicott, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sorry... Really? Thrust? Anyway, Danny Kendrick was a down-on-his luck performer who always struggled to find his place. He certainly never wanted to be a hero. He just hoped to earn a living doing what he loved. That all changes when he pisses off the wrong guy and gets sucked into a fantasy realm straight out of a Renaissance Fair. Getting used to a new world is tough. It's even tougher when you're surrounded by axe-wielding barbarians, super hot elf assassins, strange magic, and a jaded System that doesn't appear interested in being charged with yet another companion.
-
-
Wanted to like it
- By Roy on 10-18-24
By: Rhett C. Bruno, and others
-
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea
- Tomes & Tea, Book 1
- By: Rebecca Thorne
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet
- Length: 11 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters… all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy. But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. Meanwhile, Kianthe has been waiting for a chance to flee responsibility–all the better that her girlfriend is on board.
-
-
Bad summary
- By Dawn Marie McLeod on 06-06-24
By: Rebecca Thorne
-
Dreadful
- By: Caitlin Rozakis
- Narrated by: Keval Shah
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing—from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess—is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all—who does he want to be?
-
-
The goblins!
- By Cady Wieck on 06-25-24
By: Caitlin Rozakis
-
Someone You Can Build a Nest In
- By: John Wiswell
- Narrated by: Carmen Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by hunters intent on murdering her, she constructs a body using a metal chain for a backbone, borrowed bones for limbs, and a bear trap as an extra mouth. However, the hunters chase Shesheshen out of her home and off a cliff. Badly hurt, she's found and nursed back to health by Homily, a warmhearted human, who has mistaken Shesheshen as a fellow human
-
-
Lovely!
- By Jason on 04-09-24
By: John Wiswell
-
I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons
- By: Peter S. Beagle
- Narrated by: Shaun Taylor-Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dragons are common in the backwater kingdom of Bellemontagne, coming in sizes from mouse-like vermin all the way up to castle-smashing monsters. Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (who would much rather people call him Robert) has recently inherited his deceased dad’s job as a dragon catcher/exterminator, a career he detests with all his heart in part because he likes dragons, feeling a kinship with them, but mainly because his dream has always been the impossible one of transcending his humble origin to someday become a prince’s valet.
-
-
A fun read, and slightly frustrating listen.
- By Zealous Moogle on 06-27-24
By: Peter S. Beagle
-
This Inevitable Ruin
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 7
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The ninth floor. Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal ... It all makes for great fun and even greater television. After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war. Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.
By: Matt Dinniman
-
An Unexpected Hero
- A LitRPG Adventure
- By: Rhett C. Bruno, Jaime Castle
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays, Justin Thomas James, Annie Ellicott, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sorry... Really? Thrust? Anyway, Danny Kendrick was a down-on-his luck performer who always struggled to find his place. He certainly never wanted to be a hero. He just hoped to earn a living doing what he loved. That all changes when he pisses off the wrong guy and gets sucked into a fantasy realm straight out of a Renaissance Fair. Getting used to a new world is tough. It's even tougher when you're surrounded by axe-wielding barbarians, super hot elf assassins, strange magic, and a jaded System that doesn't appear interested in being charged with yet another companion.
-
-
Wanted to like it
- By Roy on 10-18-24
By: Rhett C. Bruno, and others
-
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea
- Tomes & Tea, Book 1
- By: Rebecca Thorne
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet
- Length: 11 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters… all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy. But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. Meanwhile, Kianthe has been waiting for a chance to flee responsibility–all the better that her girlfriend is on board.
-
-
Bad summary
- By Dawn Marie McLeod on 06-06-24
By: Rebecca Thorne
-
Roverpowered
- Tales of an Aspiring Alchemist and Her Overwhelmingly Powerful Dog
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 3 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Wanda and Wumble are a small pair with vast ambitions. One an aspiring alchemist, and the other her faithful hound, the pair bond as wizard and familiar to begin their pursuit of magic. As a newly made wizard without any training, resources, or even a home to return to, Wanda will have to forge her own way on a path where constant dangers lurk. Even the simple act of furthering her alchemy education swiftly becomes a harrowing ordeal.
-
-
It’s a good novella, but not a novel
- By Brent on 09-07-24
By: Drew Hayes
-
The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles
- By: Malka Older
- Narrated by: Lindsey Dorcus
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mossa has returned to Valdegeld on a missing persons case, for which she’ll once again need Pleiti’s insight. Seventeen students and staff members have disappeared from Valdegeld University—yet no one has noticed. The answers to this case may lie on the moon of Io—Mossa’s home—and the history of Jupiter’s original settlements during humanity’s exodus from Earth. But Pleiti’s faith in her life’s work as a scholar of the past has grown precarious, and this new case threatens to further destabilize her dreams for humanity’s future, as well as her own.
By: Malka Older
-
The Tainted Cup
- A Novel
- By: Robert Jackson Bennett
- Narrated by: Andrew Fallaize
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Daretana’s greatest mansion, a high imperial officer lies dead—killed, to all appearances, when a tree erupted from his body. Even here at the Empire’s borders, where contagions abound and the blood of the leviathans works strange magical changes, it’s a death both terrifying and impossible. Assigned to investigate is Ana Dolabra, a detective whose reputation for brilliance is matched only by her eccentricities. Rumor has it that she wears a blindfold at all times, and that she can solve impossible cases without even stepping outside the walls of her home.
-
-
Really fun fantasy whodunnit
- By Jay Turton on 03-11-24
-
Kaito, Seriously? Another World?
- Kaito, Seriously? Another World?, Book 1
- By: Lazybaker
- Narrated by: Jonny Cruz
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After too many lifetimes to count slaying demons and grinding levels, prophesied hero Kaito finally tells destiny where to shove it. He's done. When dimensional portal number seventeen drops him in front of an enthralled king begging him to vanquish the looming Dark Army, he does what any retired adventurer would do—politely refuses and heads off to focus on the simple pleasures of life: community, and getting his taxes done on time.
-
-
Simple and Funny Story
- By Amazon Customer on 11-14-24
By: Lazybaker
-
Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself
- Heretical Fishing, Book 1
- By: Haylock Jobson
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
-
-
The Plot Armor is Unreal
- By Warren on 03-18-24
By: Haylock Jobson
-
Arrival
- Legends of Arenia, Book 1
- By: P.A. Parsons
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s just another Thanksgiving for the Sullivans - until the walls disappear and they discover they are being transported to Arenia, a place where game rules are real and their Earthen ability to reincarnate grants them unlimited potential. Or it would, if the celestial administrator in charge of their case hadn’t mixed up longitude and latitude and sent the wrong family. Now scattered throughout the Arenian wilderness and armed only with their Tomes, the family members must discover a strength they didn’t know they had if they are going to survive.
-
-
Awesome family Isekai
- By Randall on 01-02-22
By: P.A. Parsons
-
The Z Word
- By: Lindsay King-Miller
- Narrated by: Mara Wilson
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chaotic bisexual Wendy is trying to find her place in the queer community of San Lazaro, Arizona, after a bad breakup—which is particularly difficult because her ex is hooking up with some of her friends. And when the people around them start turning into violent, terrifying mindless husks, well, that makes things harder. Especially since the infection seems to be spreading.
-
Service Model
- By: Adrian Tchaikovsky
- Narrated by: Adrian Tchaikovsky
- Length: 12 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Humanity is a dying breed, utterly reliant on artificial labor and service. When a domesticated robot gets a nasty little idea downloaded into its core programming, they murder their owner. The robot discovers they can also do something else they never did before: They can run away. Fleeing the household they enter a wider world they never knew existed, where the age-old hierarchy of humans at the top is disintegrating into ruins and an entire robot ecosystem devoted to human wellbeing is having to find a new purpose.
-
-
Another banger from Tchaikovsky
- By J. C. Amos on 06-09-24
-
House of Frank
- By: Kay Synclaire
- Narrated by: Imani Jade Powers
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Powerless witch Saika is ready to enact her sister's final request: to plant her remains at the famed Ash Gardens. When Saika arrives at the always-stormy sanctuary, she is welcomed by its owner, an enormous, knit-cardiganed mythical beast named Frank, who offers her a role as one of the estate's caretakers. Overcome with grief, Saika accepts, desperate to put off her final farewell to her sister. But the work requires a witch with intrinsic power, and Saika's been disconnected from her magic since her sister's death two years prior.
-
-
Beautiful story
- By Jewell on 10-21-24
By: Kay Synclaire
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
After the Forest
- By: Kell Woods
- Narrated by: Esther Wane
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Twenty years after the witch in the gingerbread house, Greta and Hans are struggling to get by. Their mother and stepmother are long dead, Hans is deeply in debt from gambling, and the countryside lies in ruin, its people starving in the aftermath of a brutal war. Greta has a secret, though: the witch's grimoire, secreted away and whispering in Greta's ear for the past two decades, and the recipe inside that makes the best gingerbread you've ever tasted. As long as she can bake, Greta can keep her small family afloat.
-
-
Fantastic!
- By Brazilla A. Leonard on 11-07-23
By: Kell Woods
-
Shrubley, the Monster Adventurer
- Shrubley, the Monster Adventurer, Book 1
- By: James T. Callum, K.H. Sohmer
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 14 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a monster, Shrubley is forbidden from joining the adventurers guild. In a world where essence artists rank up in power and most monsters are feral beasts, Shrubley is among the weakest of creatures and is treated as an outcast. With curiosity essence bound to his spirit, Shrubley might be weak, but he's intelligent and determined. Against all the odds, he discovers a loophole from the Druid that gave him life—but there's a deadly catch. For a chance of ever being accepted as a true adventurer, he must challenge an otherworldly realm threatening to consume everything.
-
-
A Litrpg with feeling
- By Hector on 08-23-24
By: James T. Callum, and others
Critic reviews
“All hail Dark Lord Davi! How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying is outrageously fun, filled with campy humor, action and unexpected warm-heartedness. I grinned from the first page to the last.”—Fonda Lee, author of Jade City
"Wickedly sharp, funny, and raunchy. Wexler delights in punching holes in the beloved cliches of fantasy, and I adore this. If you ever thought: if I was the villain, I'd actually be smart about things, then this is the book for you."—Jenn Lyons, author of The Ruin of Kings
Related to this topic
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
-
-
It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
-
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
-
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
-
-
It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me
- By: Django Wexler
- Length: 15 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Davi has left the horde behind her, hoping to find a peaceful solution to keep the Kingdom from being destroyed this time. But her plan to guide the Kingdom is thwarted when her usual love interest, Prince Johann, is already married and the bloodthirsty Duke Aster is running the government. Johann's new husband is everything Davi is not, but he holds a key to the one mystery she can't solve–the origins of the time loop that has entrapped her. She must gain his trust, and swiftly.
By: Django Wexler
-
Dreadful
- By: Caitlin Rozakis
- Narrated by: Keval Shah
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing—from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess—is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all—who does he want to be?
-
-
The goblins!
- By Cady Wieck on 06-25-24
By: Caitlin Rozakis
-
Someone You Can Build a Nest In
- By: John Wiswell
- Narrated by: Carmen Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by hunters intent on murdering her, she constructs a body using a metal chain for a backbone, borrowed bones for limbs, and a bear trap as an extra mouth. However, the hunters chase Shesheshen out of her home and off a cliff. Badly hurt, she's found and nursed back to health by Homily, a warmhearted human, who has mistaken Shesheshen as a fellow human
-
-
Lovely!
- By Jason on 04-09-24
By: John Wiswell
-
The Thousand Names
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 22 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With this stunning series opener, Django Wexler leaps to the upper echelon of today’s best fantasy authors. The Thousand Names opens his Shadow Campaigns series with a tale of bloody rebellion that will reshape an empire -- and a world. Captain Marcus d’Ivoire and Winter Ihernglass see their fortunes rise under the command of military genius Janus bet Vhalnich. But Janus’ obsession with the supernatural portends a dire fate for the realm.
-
-
90% battles and 10% character development
- By Kathleen on 11-15-14
By: Django Wexler
-
I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons
- By: Peter S. Beagle
- Narrated by: Shaun Taylor-Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dragons are common in the backwater kingdom of Bellemontagne, coming in sizes from mouse-like vermin all the way up to castle-smashing monsters. Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (who would much rather people call him Robert) has recently inherited his deceased dad’s job as a dragon catcher/exterminator, a career he detests with all his heart in part because he likes dragons, feeling a kinship with them, but mainly because his dream has always been the impossible one of transcending his humble origin to someday become a prince’s valet.
-
-
A fun read, and slightly frustrating listen.
- By Zealous Moogle on 06-27-24
By: Peter S. Beagle
-
Long Live Evil
- By: Sarah Rees Brennan
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When her whole life collapsed, Rae still had books. Dying, she seizes a second chance at living: a magical bargain that lets her enter the world of her favorite fantasy series. She wakes in a castle on the edge of a hellish chasm, in a kingdom on the brink of war. Home to dangerous monsters, scheming courtiers and her favourite fictional character: the Once and Forever Emperor. He’s impossibly alluring, as only fiction can be. And in this fantasy world, she discovers she's not the heroine, but the villainess in the Emperor's tale.
-
-
Funny & Quirky
- By Jess LaFluer on 09-09-24
-
Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me
- By: Django Wexler
- Length: 15 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Davi has left the horde behind her, hoping to find a peaceful solution to keep the Kingdom from being destroyed this time. But her plan to guide the Kingdom is thwarted when her usual love interest, Prince Johann, is already married and the bloodthirsty Duke Aster is running the government. Johann's new husband is everything Davi is not, but he holds a key to the one mystery she can't solve–the origins of the time loop that has entrapped her. She must gain his trust, and swiftly.
By: Django Wexler
-
Dreadful
- By: Caitlin Rozakis
- Narrated by: Keval Shah
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing—from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess—is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all—who does he want to be?
-
-
The goblins!
- By Cady Wieck on 06-25-24
By: Caitlin Rozakis
-
Someone You Can Build a Nest In
- By: John Wiswell
- Narrated by: Carmen Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by hunters intent on murdering her, she constructs a body using a metal chain for a backbone, borrowed bones for limbs, and a bear trap as an extra mouth. However, the hunters chase Shesheshen out of her home and off a cliff. Badly hurt, she's found and nursed back to health by Homily, a warmhearted human, who has mistaken Shesheshen as a fellow human
-
-
Lovely!
- By Jason on 04-09-24
By: John Wiswell
-
The Thousand Names
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 22 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With this stunning series opener, Django Wexler leaps to the upper echelon of today’s best fantasy authors. The Thousand Names opens his Shadow Campaigns series with a tale of bloody rebellion that will reshape an empire -- and a world. Captain Marcus d’Ivoire and Winter Ihernglass see their fortunes rise under the command of military genius Janus bet Vhalnich. But Janus’ obsession with the supernatural portends a dire fate for the realm.
-
-
90% battles and 10% character development
- By Kathleen on 11-15-14
By: Django Wexler
-
I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons
- By: Peter S. Beagle
- Narrated by: Shaun Taylor-Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dragons are common in the backwater kingdom of Bellemontagne, coming in sizes from mouse-like vermin all the way up to castle-smashing monsters. Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (who would much rather people call him Robert) has recently inherited his deceased dad’s job as a dragon catcher/exterminator, a career he detests with all his heart in part because he likes dragons, feeling a kinship with them, but mainly because his dream has always been the impossible one of transcending his humble origin to someday become a prince’s valet.
-
-
A fun read, and slightly frustrating listen.
- By Zealous Moogle on 06-27-24
By: Peter S. Beagle
-
Long Live Evil
- By: Sarah Rees Brennan
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When her whole life collapsed, Rae still had books. Dying, she seizes a second chance at living: a magical bargain that lets her enter the world of her favorite fantasy series. She wakes in a castle on the edge of a hellish chasm, in a kingdom on the brink of war. Home to dangerous monsters, scheming courtiers and her favourite fictional character: the Once and Forever Emperor. He’s impossibly alluring, as only fiction can be. And in this fantasy world, she discovers she's not the heroine, but the villainess in the Emperor's tale.
-
-
Funny & Quirky
- By Jess LaFluer on 09-09-24
-
Ashes of the Sun
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 21 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gyre hasn't seen his beloved sister since their parents sold her to the mysterious Twilight Order. Now, 12 years after her disappearance, Gyre's sole focus is revenge, and he's willing to risk anything and anyone to claim enough power to destroy the Order. Chasing rumors of a fabled city protecting a powerful artifact, Gyre comes face-to-face with his lost sister. But she isn't who she once was.
-
-
Ignore the few narrator complaints. She Rocks
- By Mark Hancock on 02-10-22
By: Django Wexler
-
Foul Days
- The Witch's Compendium of Monsters, Book 1
- By: Genoveva Dimova
- Narrated by: Zura Johnson
- Length: 15 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a witch in the walled city of Chernograd, Kosara has plenty of practice treating lycanthrope bites, bargaining with kikimoras, and slaying bloodsucking upirs. There’s only one monster she can’t defeat: her ex, the Zmey, known as the Tsar of Monsters. She’s defied him one too many times and now he’s hunting her. Betrayed by someone close to her, Kosara’s only choice is to trade her shadow—the source of her powers—for a quick escape.
-
-
Unique and Enjoyable
- By Darcia Helle on 10-26-24
By: Genoveva Dimova
-
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea
- Tomes & Tea, Book 1
- By: Rebecca Thorne
- Narrated by: Jessica Threet
- Length: 11 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
All Reyna and Kianthe want is to open a bookshop that serves tea. Worn wooden floors, plants on every table, firelight drifting between the rafters… all complemented by love and good company. Thing is, Reyna works as one of the Queen’s private guards, and Kianthe is the most powerful mage in existence. Leaving their lives isn’t so easy. But after an assassin takes Reyna hostage, she decides she’s thoroughly done risking her life for a self-centered queen. Meanwhile, Kianthe has been waiting for a chance to flee responsibility–all the better that her girlfriend is on board.
-
-
Bad summary
- By Dawn Marie McLeod on 06-06-24
By: Rebecca Thorne
-
The Helm of Midnight
- The Five Penalties, Book 1
- By: Marina Lostetter
- Narrated by: Nicholas Khan, Shala Nyx, Vera Chok
- Length: 22 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a daring and deadly heist, thieves have made away with an artifact of terrible power - the death mask of Louis Charbon. Made by a master craftsman, it is imbued with the spirit of a monster from history, a serial murderer who terrorized the city. Now Charbon is loose once more, killing from beyond the grave. But these murders are different from before, not simply random but the work of a deliberate mind probing for answers to a sinister question.
-
-
Slow and convoluted
- By G. Redavid on 04-28-21
By: Marina Lostetter
-
The Sword Defiant
- By: Gareth Hanrahan
- Narrated by: George Weightman
- Length: 19 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Many years ago, Sir Aelfric and his nine companions saved the world, seizing the Dark Lord's cursed weapons, along with his dread city of Necrad. That was the easy part. Now, when Aelfric—keeper of the cursed sword Spellbreaker—learns of a new and terrifying threat, he seeks the nine heroes once again. But they are wandering adventurers no longer. Yesterday's eager heroes are today's weary leaders—and some have turned to the darkness, becoming monsters themselves. If there's one thing Aelfric knows, it's slaying monsters. Even if they used to be his friends.
-
-
Below average
- By Jacob dale clifford on 07-21-23
By: Gareth Hanrahan
-
The Blacktongue Thief
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Christopher Buehlman
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kinch Na Shannack owes the Takers Guild a small fortune for his education as a thief, which includes (but is not limited to) lock-picking, knife-fighting, wall-scaling, fall-breaking, lie-weaving, trap-making, plus a few small magics. His debt has driven him to lie in wait by the old forest road, planning to rob the next traveler that crosses his path. But today, Kinch Na Shannack has picked the wrong mark.
-
-
Outstanding
- By Anne Vaughan on 05-28-21
-
Saevus Corax Deals with the Dead
- By: K. J. Parker
- Narrated by: Ben Onwukwe
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There’s no formal training for battlefield salvage. You just have to pick things up as you go along. Swords, armour, arrows–and the bodies, of course. Over the years, Saevus Corax has picked up a lot of things. Some of them have made him decent money, others have brought nothing but trouble. But it’s a living, and somebody has to deal with the dead. Something else that Saevus has buried is his past. Unfortunately, he didn’t quite succeed.
-
-
Adjacent to Abercrombie, more grounded, and better
- By Kevin on 08-31-24
By: K. J. Parker
-
Dungeons & Dragons: Spelljammer: Memory's Wake
- Dungeons & Dragons
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Lisa Flanagan
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Axia wishes she could be grateful to have spent her life—or what little she remembers of it—on an asteroid so far from anything of interest that even the greediest spacers see fit to pass it by. Her days may not be as exciting as the swashbuckling stories of her favorite books or as dramatic as the pasts she’s imagined for herself, but they’re as safe as Shatterspace can manage. So why does something inside her long for the stars every time she sees a spacefaring spelljammer vessel?
-
-
Popcorn listen
- By Amazon Customer on 10-17-24
By: Django Wexler
-
Ship of Smoke and Steel
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Catherine Ho
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the lower wards of Kahnzoka, the port city of the Blessed Empire, 18-year-old ward boss Isoka enforces the will of her criminal masters with the power of Melos, the Well of Combat. The money she collects goes to keep her little sister living in comfort, far from the bloody streets they grew up on. When Isoka's magic is discovered by the government, she's arrested and brought to the Emperor's spymaster, who sends her on an impossible mission: Steal Soliton, a legendary ghost ship - a ship from which no one has ever returned. If she fails, her sister’s life is forfeit.
-
-
The Long Pauses Ruins the Book
- By Joseph on 05-29-19
By: Django Wexler
-
Looking for Love in All the Haunted Places
- By: Claire Kann
- Narrated by: Zenzi Williams
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lucky Hart has a special affinity for the supernatural but almost no one takes parapsychology seriously. She’s estranged from her family, lost her friends, and has been rejected from graduate school. Twice. But her big break finally arrives when she gets insider info about a troubled production company. Every actor on their new show mysteriously quits after spending three nights inside Hennessee House, an old Victorian with a notorious reputation. After scheming her way onto the show to investigate, Lucky meets Maverick Phillips and chemistry instantly crackles between them.
-
-
Great slightly spooky love story
- By Rebekah Nicole on 07-11-24
By: Claire Kann
-
A Sorceress Comes to Call
- By: T. Kingfisher
- Narrated by: Eliza Foss, Jennifer Pickens
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Cordelia knows her mother is . . . unusual. Their house doesn’t have any doors between rooms—there are no secrets in this house—and her mother doesn't allow Cordelia to have a single friend. Unless you count Falada, her mother's beautiful white horse. The only time Cordelia feels truly free is on her daily rides with him. But more than simple eccentricity sets her mother apart. Other mothers don’t force their daughters to be silent and motionless for hours, sometimes days, on end. Other mothers aren’t sorcerers.
-
-
Fantastic listen!
- By Teresa Courtney on 08-26-24
By: T. Kingfisher
-
Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower
- By: Tamsyn Muir
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 4 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When the witch built the 40-flight tower, she made very sure to do the whole thing properly. Each flight contains a dreadful monster, ranging from a diamond-scaled dragon to a pack of slavering goblins. Should a prince battle his way to the top, he will be rewarded with a golden sword - and the lovely Princess Floralinda. But no prince has managed to conquer the first flight yet, let alone get to the 40th. In fact, the supply of fresh princes seems to have quite dried up.
-
-
A Joy and a Delight (not for children)
- By Andrew Vigil on 12-02-20
By: Tamsyn Muir
What listeners say about How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- E. M. Pilgrim
- 05-24-24
Well Written LitRPG
I'll admit I was a bit disappointed with the book. Overall, it's a better than average LitRPG-type story. The main character Davi can be rather annoying--and the one thing that didn't make sense to me is Davi estimates that she's 1000 years old after all the re-boots, but she continues to speak in modern colloquialisms/references even though she certainly knows no one will understand them.
Parts of it were a little slow, but the last third of the book redeems the story.
I was excited for this book based on reviews on Booktok, but it's not my favorite work by this author (Well of Sorcery holds that spot).
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- swyrlgirl
- 08-29-24
So Good
to be bad! This is a snark, action-packed adventure with an awesome female MC! She's dying to be the the Dark Lord and it's so much FUN! The reader was PERFECT and I hope this is only the first book about our "hero"! Will definitely re-read this new classic.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Gabriella
- 08-20-24
humor
It was ridiculously funny, the writing, the delivery, *chef's kiss*If you like dark sarcastic humor then this is for you.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kindle Customer
- 10-03-24
Great story and hilarous
Absolutely fantastic. You really get a feel for a sense of madness and lack of real consequences that the main character goes through after being trapped a cycle of failure.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- A. Olson
- 06-09-24
Ridiculous in the best possible way!
First this book was not as gory as I feared it would be. yes there is a lot of blood and death but it didn't feel gratuitous. and there is a lot of discussion about sex but all of the sex scenes fade to black before anything beyond kissing happens. mostly it's funny and about how ridiculous life can be. there are still a lot of questions that haven't been answered but it ends in a satisfying place. can't wait for the next book!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Adrian Koch
- 05-31-24
This was so fun
If you’ve been looking for a disaster bi girl trying to humorously take on the world and fate this book is for you. It’s absolutely laughable out loud funny and the narration is so well done.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Bradley Maples
- 07-11-24
Funny, twisted, pure fun
Every bite a tasty morsel. If you enjoy your book meals twisted, dark, and funny.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Joella Berkner
- 06-28-24
Not for me
This is a well written story that was not to my taste. I initially disliked the main character. The narrator is fine but either they or an editor made the choice to “distinguish” internal dialogue by making it sound different, this difference was jarring and disruptive to listening. I appreciate that the main character grew but it wasn’t enough for me to truly like the book, in addition the cliffhanger ending and the significant amount of world background that are hinted at but not revealed put me off.
If you like somewhat off kilter protagonists who swear and talk about sex a lot, and you enjoy the idea of someone making a drastic change in their life you may enjoy this.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Benjamin Haymore
- 08-01-24
Very fun and exciting
The narrator performance was one of the best I’ve ever heard. She brings a new level of life to both the characters and story that is rarely seen. The story itself is a magnificent blend of an interesting new world, fun and full characters, humor, dark trauma, and interesting hooks and plot twists. One of my new favorite books.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 08-01-24
Great story, fun characters, entertaining narration
Great narrator. Very entertaining and funny, while still having great world building, plot, characters, and dialogue.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful