How to Talk with Anyone About Anything
The Practice of Safe Conversations
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Narrated by:
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Rick Adamson
About this listen
Relationships everywhere are in crisis due to our inability to talk about "difference" without polarizing. Since objection to difference is the core human problem, we need a skill that helps us connect beyond difference. That's just what New York Times bestselling authors Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt offer in their new book: How To Talk With Anyone About Anything. They call it the Safe Conversations Dialogue process, which everyone can learn and teach, that moves all relationships from danger to safety, making connecting possible.
For centuries, most of us humans have talked to others in monologues, believing that the world is the way we see it, that what we say about it is the "truth" and we have assumed that everyone sees it "our" way. If they do not, we experience tension and conflict on many levels. On the other hand, few of us have ever listened to others while they are talking and tried to see the world from their point of view while retaining our own perspective. Instead of listening to understand and collaborate about our differences, we tend to replace their perspective with our own. This results in polarization, not only in our personal lives and work environments, but also in the political and religious arenas we inhabit. This has led to anxiety, frustration, anger, violence, and war. Clearly, the world needs a new way to talk that transcends difference and leads to collaboration, co-creation, and cooperation.
Getting the Love You Want, teach that the practice of Safe Conversations Dialogue impacts the "physics of the Space Between." Here is what they mean:
- All of us live in and are a part of an energy field in which everything everywhere is connecting with everything everywhere. This energy field occupies the Space-Between us.
- When there is safety in the energy field that occupies the Space-Between us, we can connect.
- When there is anxiety in the Space Between, we defend ourselves. We cannot connect but tend to polarize.
- Anyone, if they decide to, can restore safety in the Space Between by using a structure conversation skill called the Safe Conversations Dialogue.
In How to Talk with Anyone about Anything, Harville and Helen share the wisdom of the Safe Conversations process and the four structured and teachable skills that create safety and connection:
- Dialogue: Dialogue is two or more people taking turns talking and listening. Monologue is one person talking and expecting everyone else to listen. When two or more people shift from Monologue to Dialogue, they can transform any relationship from conflict to safety, connection and collaboration.
- Zero Negativity: Negativity disrupts safety and is non-negotiable for safe and thriving relationships. When Dialogue is practiced with Zero Negativity, criticism about what one does not have is replaced with a positive request for what one wants. This transforms conflict into safety and connecting.
- Empathy: Empathy is the capacity to experience or imagine how another person has gone through life. When Dialogue is practiced with empathy, one can more easily accept the different perspective of another person and maintain one's own perspective without polarizing.
- Affirmation: Affirmation is valuing another person because they exist rather than for what they have done for you. When Dialogue includes affirmation, the other person experiences themselves as human rather than as an "object" that is valued because of what they do.
How to Talk with Anyone about Anything offers the keys to unlocking your ability to connect with others in a new and profoundly different way. And, as more of us hone that ability, together, we can bring about a fundamental shift in society away from our current focus on the "self" and polarization about difference towards safety and true connection that includes total personal freedom, universal equality, radical inclusion, and celebration of diversity—a society in which we all collaborate with each other without surrendering our differences, co-create with each other about new solutions and cooperate with other to put them into practice. Then we will all live in the world of our dreams.
Additional resources can be found in the audiobook companion PDF download.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Harville Hendrix, Helen LaKelly Hunt, Daniel J. Siegal, Caroline Welch (P)2024 Thomas NelsonRelated to this topic
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Have you ever found yourself panicking when faced with the idea of making conversation with another person? Has a simple “hello” seemed as daunting as running a marathon? Have you skipped out on social and work events, because it just seems too hard to connect with new people? If so, you are not alone. You see, talking to strangers and making friends doesn’t have to be complicated. Even if you’ve tried being awkwardly polite. The truth is, it’s much simpler than you think.
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Good, but...
- By Amazon Customer on 07-25-24
By: Joe Tucker
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How to Talk to Anyone
- How to Charm, Banter, Attract, & Captivate (How to Be More Likable and Charismatic, Book 21)
- By: Patrick King
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation—good and bad. Whatever your conversational goal, you’ll find tactics to put you in a winning position—in a literal sense with arguments and in a figurative sense with making friends. You can never underestimate the power of a simple conversation.
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I have adhd and anxiety
- By 4EVRBeauty by Evelyn on 04-05-24
By: Patrick King
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Mad in America
- Bad Science, Bad Medicine, and the Enduring Mistreatment of the Mentally Ill
- By: Robert Whitaker
- Narrated by: Chris Kayser, Timothy Andrés Pabon
- Length: 13 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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An updated edition of the classic history of schizophrenia in America, which gives voice to generations of patients who suffered through "cures" that only deepened their suffering and impaired their hope of recovery.
By: Robert Whitaker
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How to Talk to Anyone
- 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
- By: Leil Lowndes
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean, Leil Lowndes
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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What is that magic quality that makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their "Midas touch?"
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Good info, but painful to listen to
- By Scott on 09-19-16
By: Leil Lowndes
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Listening When Parts Speak
- A Practical Guide to Healing with Internal Family Systems Therapy and Ancestor Wisdom
- By: Tamala Floyd LCSW
- Narrated by: Tamala Floyd LCSW
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychotherapy is acclaimed for its power to help us recognize and integrate disparate parts of ourselves—a revolutionary course of treatment that can yield extraordinary results. But not all the work of IFS takes place in the confines of traditional therapy sessions. In this thoughtful and compassionate guide, Tamala Floyd, LCSW, gives listeners the resources to expand their "parts work" beyond the therapist's office and into daily life—where the real healing happens.
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To the point
- By Anonymous User on 09-30-24
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It All Makes Sense Now
- Embrace Your ADHD Brain to Live a Creative and Colorful Life
- By: Meredith Carder
- Narrated by: Meredith Carder
- Length: 6 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you often feel that your emotions are intense and difficult to regulate? Does boredom get to you seemingly more than most? Do you struggle with your perception of time? You're not alone. As cultural and medical awareness around ADHD shifts, millions of adults who are diagnosed with ADHD are unclear on the many ways ADHD symptoms present and how it affects the experience of their everyday life. Meredith Carder, an ADHD coach and ADHDer herself, shares real-life stories from her coaching practice and own lived experience along with actionable exercises and strategies.
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It All Makes Sense Now by Carder
- By Nancy Anderson-Gibson on 10-18-24
By: Meredith Carder
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Improve Your People Skills: Build and Manage Relationships, Communicate Effectively, Understand Others, and Become the Ultimate People Person
- By: Patrick King
- Narrated by: Gregory Sutton
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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If you (1) have trouble connecting with people beyond small talk or (2) are often left speechless and dumbfounded on how to handle certain people and situations, that feeling of dread isn't something you have to live with. Improve Your People Skills is your key to social intelligence and the better relationships to enrich your life that will inevitably follow.
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This book is kind of mean
- By yelhsa on 04-23-20
By: Patrick King
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Live the Life You Deserve
- How to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You and Embody Your Highest Self
- By: Sylvester McNutt III
- Narrated by: Sylvester McNutt III
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Through insightful exercises, heartfelt stories, and practical advice, you'll learn how to navigate the depths of your wounds, finding the strength to release the past and embrace forgiveness. Drawing from his own experiences and personal transformation, Sylvester McNutt III, life coach and host of the Free Your Energy podcast, provides all the tools you need to:
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Great Listen
- By jonathan tate on 10-29-24