
Secure Love
Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
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Narrated by:
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Julie Menanno
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By:
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Julie Menanno
About this listen
Create a lasting and loving attachment with this national bestseller, a “must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) from the expert couple’s therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship.
What does a healthy relationship look like?
A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?
The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment theory has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it’s also the closest science has come to making sense of our adult romantic connections.
In this book Julie Menanno, the expert behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, tackles:
-Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it’s called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
-“Instead of that, say this” suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in your relationship more effectively.
-The four attachment types, with exercises to understand you and your partner’s attachment style.
-How to improve communication, including staying connected during conflict by prioritizing vulnerability rather than protecting yourself.
-Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple’s sex life and how to ignite that sexual connection.
Secure Love is a crash course in understanding how you show up in a relationship and guides you on getting out of negative cycles to find safety in one another. In doing so, “you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship” (Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and bestselling author of Hold Me Tight) and establish a secure attachment with your partner to create the bond you’ve been longing for.
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- Unabridged
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This sequel to the bestselling The Anxious Hearts Guide dives deep into the complex dynamic between anxious and avoidant attachment styles. You'll learn why you crave closeness while your partner needs space, and how these opposing needs create a frustrating push-pull cycle.
By: Rikki Cloos
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5 Reasons Why Your Relationship Won’t Last
- By: Jillian Turecki
- Narrated by: Jillian Turecki
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Original Recording
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People sabotage their relationships all the time without even knowing it! Jillian will share the five sneaky reasons why your current or future relationship won’t make it and what you can do about it. Expect about 10 minutes of teachings followed by extensive Q&A with Jillian.
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incredible insights
- By jes_solo18 on 01-07-25
By: Jillian Turecki
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The Anxious Hearts Guide
- Rising Above Anxious Attachment
- By: Rikki Cloos
- Narrated by: Rikki Cloos
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s been three days with no call or text back...you can’t eat, sleep, or work. You’re going to die alone in your bed, gripping your phone, waiting for a response; or at least that’s what your brain keeps telling you. There’s a common flaw that people who chase partners all have in common. Are you an anxious attacher? If you’re still holding your phone hoping they’ll reply then drop it now and pick up this book.
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Solid Guidance - Thank you
- By Anonymous User on 12-30-22
By: Rikki Cloos
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Communicate Your Feelings (Without Starting a Fight)
- What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner
- By: Nic Saluppo
- Narrated by: Colin Kibler
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner’s feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it’s not going to keep you afloat for very long—you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: toward more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust.
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Marriage saving!
- By J Keegan on 02-07-23
By: Nic Saluppo
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Loving an Avoidant Partner
- Understand Dismissive Attachment Style to Bridge Emotional Distance and Create a Secure Relationship
- By: Krista Cantell
- Narrated by: Jennifer Perez
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Introducing "Loving an Avoidant Partner," a groundbreaking guide that takes you deep into the enigmatic maze of an avoidant person's inner world like never before. Armed with remarkable insights, you'll decode the guarded secrets and fears of your elusive partner, shattering the barriers that have kept you apart.
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Could not absorb the content because the voice is not conducive to the material
- By Valerie E. French on 04-08-25
By: Krista Cantell
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Secure Relating
- Holding Your Own in an Insecure World
- By: Sue Marriott, Ann Kelley
- Narrated by: Ann Kelley
- Length: 12 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Secure Relating offers a refreshing and innovative approach to understanding and improving relationships in today's increasingly polarized world. Drawing on over thirty years of professional clinical experience, authors Ann Kelley, PhD and Sue Marriott, LCSW, CGP integrate modern attachment theory, relational neuroscience, and depth psychology into practical tools for deepening self-awareness and navigating closeness with strength in even the most challenging relationships.
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thorough reasearch
- By Heather B. on 02-01-25
By: Sue Marriott, and others
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Nan Silver
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
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not a good audiobook
- By jynlyn on 09-02-20
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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Love Sense
- The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Narrated by: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" - our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival.
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No real tips on HOW to become more securely attach
- By Sophia on 11-10-15
By: Dr. Sue Johnson
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Love Life
- How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily (No Matter What)
- By: Matthew Hussey
- Narrated by: Matthew Hussey
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Finding love can be hard. Being single can feel even harder. In Love Life, world-renowned coach and New York Times bestselling author Matthew Hussey provides a practical roadmap for letting go of past relationships, overcoming the fear of getting left behind, and finding the love we want.
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The chapter on hard conversations was useful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-20-24
By: Matthew Hussey
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Love Unfu*ked
- Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together
- By: Gary John Bishop
- Narrated by: Gary John Bishop
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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No matter how much advice we get or how much work we do on our “stuff,” nothing ever seems to make the difference. The truth of it is, you’re woefully ill-equipped for one of the most life-defining things you will ever take on—being in a committed relationship. Whether you’re currently in one, want to be in one, half in–half out, getting over one, married, single, separated, divorced, or just overwhelmed with the whole thing, let’s cut through the morass of relationship schtick and put you back in charge.
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A candid kick in the a$$ about your relationships
- By Tranquility38 on 01-18-22
By: Gary John Bishop
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The Science of Trust
- Emotional Attunement for Couples
- By: John M. Gottman Ph.D.
- Narrated by: J. Charles
- Length: 16 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.
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Technical version of his other book
- By SoCalSkills on 07-26-17
What listeners say about Secure Love
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- sessoms1011
- 03-18-24
I Have Hope for Healing
As a psychologist these concepts are not foreign; however, it’s so challenging to practice them when it’s your own relationship. This book helped me feel seen and gave me tangible tools for how to continue my growth journey, with the hope that my partner will as well. I’m appreciate of the language. It’s improved my discourse and ability to name my attachment needs.
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- Jules
- 02-20-25
Above anyone can benefit from
This book provides great insight into how couples/people in any relationship interact and how they can move toward improved communication by making small conscious changes to the way they approach/ respond to situations.
I've been recommending it to everyone!
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- Anonymous User
- 04-04-24
Just What I Needed
Grateful for this read at this time in my life.
I feel like my wife and I have a great relationship already - but I always struggled with “am I loving enough” and “what is love?”
I now have tools to be more in control of triggers and we can have much better conversations and solve things together.
Thanks for this, it was all I needed!
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1 person found this helpful
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- John S.
- 04-05-24
Amazing
So much hope and this book acknowledges neurodivergence
Real examples of how to communicate differently
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tina
- 09-18-24
Lots of great info
A wealth of info for healing a struggling relationship. Delves into Attachment styles, communication techniques, reversing negative cycles, etc. Highly recommend!
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- Anonymous User
- 04-10-24
Attachment styles and the deep impact they have
thought it was written very well! Very insight full and well explained described ! Made me understand some uncomfortable reality
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- Geoff
- 08-20-24
Simplify conflict resolution
Great book to learn about common relationship patterns that can be improved upon with this deeper look at root causes. Applicable information, easily understood, and covers misunderstandings in communication or different thinking styles. Helping to break negative cycles so couples can enjoy more peace and trust by overcoming ruptures through mutual understand of the other’s view point.
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- Zibah
- 11-08-24
Great Read!
It empowers you with practical tools. Takes it beyond the what and why of attachment to providing helpful tools.
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- maggie
- 11-06-24
If only we had this teaching as kids
Clear, manageable, Bitesized guidance, and good examples to use in life.
Love the reading, love the examples, I feel like I was just given a phenomenal tool to use in all my relationships. DO NOT pass up the opportunity
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-17-24
Recommend by my therapist! Very insightful!
Very insightful and easy to follow with lots of great examples to illustrate concepts. I learned a lot.
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