Secure Love
Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
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Narrated by:
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Julie Menanno
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By:
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Julie Menanno
About this listen
Create a lasting and loving attachment with this national bestseller, a “must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) from the expert couple’s therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship.
What does a healthy relationship look like?
A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?
The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment theory has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it’s also the closest science has come to making sense of our adult romantic connections.
In this book Julie Menanno, the expert behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, tackles:
-Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it’s called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
-“Instead of that, say this” suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in your relationship more effectively.
-The four attachment types, with exercises to understand you and your partner’s attachment style.
-How to improve communication, including staying connected during conflict by prioritizing vulnerability rather than protecting yourself.
-Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple’s sex life and how to ignite that sexual connection.
Secure Love is a crash course in understanding how you show up in a relationship and guides you on getting out of negative cycles to find safety in one another. In doing so, “you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship” (Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and bestselling author of Hold Me Tight) and establish a secure attachment with your partner to create the bond you’ve been longing for.
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Story
An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love.
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So slow
- By RSC on 04-20-23
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Attached
- The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
- By: Amir Levine, Rachel Heller
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.
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Good book - just not a good one for Audible
- By Mark on 02-01-20
By: Amir Levine, and others
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Hold Me Tight
- Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
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No PDFs
- By Michelle Johann on 09-11-20
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Fight Right
- How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
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Excellent summary of their research
- By Robert B. Davis on 02-28-24
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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Master Your Attachment Style
- Learn How to Build Healthy & Long-Lasting Relationships
- By: Scott A. Young
- Narrated by: Adam El Hagar
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s completely normal to go through ups and downs. Yet, your relationships with others shouldn’t be something that causes you constant stress, anxiety, or worry. Profound relationships are vital to your mental and emotional well-being. A life filled with beautiful and long-lasting relationships is something you deserve, and it’s time you go out and create this for yourself!
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Insightful. Straight forward
- By Amazon Customer on 09-18-24
By: Scott A. Young
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Loving an Avoidant Partner
- Understand Dismissive Attachment Style to Bridge Emotional Distance and Create a Secure Relationship
- By: Krista Cantell
- Narrated by: Jennifer Perez
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Introducing "Loving an Avoidant Partner," a groundbreaking guide that takes you deep into the enigmatic maze of an avoidant person's inner world like never before. Armed with remarkable insights, you'll decode the guarded secrets and fears of your elusive partner, shattering the barriers that have kept you apart.
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the narrator was robotic
- By Mike /Katie HB on 01-11-25
By: Krista Cantell
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Anxiously Attached
- Becoming More Secure in Life and Love
- By: Jessica Baum LMHC
- Narrated by: Jessica Baum LMHC
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love.
-
-
So slow
- By RSC on 04-20-23
-
Attached
- The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
- By: Amir Levine, Rachel Heller
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.
-
-
Good book - just not a good one for Audible
- By Mark on 02-01-20
By: Amir Levine, and others
-
Hold Me Tight
- Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
-
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No PDFs
- By Michelle Johann on 09-11-20
-
Fight Right
- How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
-
-
Excellent summary of their research
- By Robert B. Davis on 02-28-24
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
-
Master Your Attachment Style
- Learn How to Build Healthy & Long-Lasting Relationships
- By: Scott A. Young
- Narrated by: Adam El Hagar
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s completely normal to go through ups and downs. Yet, your relationships with others shouldn’t be something that causes you constant stress, anxiety, or worry. Profound relationships are vital to your mental and emotional well-being. A life filled with beautiful and long-lasting relationships is something you deserve, and it’s time you go out and create this for yourself!
-
-
Insightful. Straight forward
- By Amazon Customer on 09-18-24
By: Scott A. Young
-
Loving an Avoidant Partner
- Understand Dismissive Attachment Style to Bridge Emotional Distance and Create a Secure Relationship
- By: Krista Cantell
- Narrated by: Jennifer Perez
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Introducing "Loving an Avoidant Partner," a groundbreaking guide that takes you deep into the enigmatic maze of an avoidant person's inner world like never before. Armed with remarkable insights, you'll decode the guarded secrets and fears of your elusive partner, shattering the barriers that have kept you apart.
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the narrator was robotic
- By Mike /Katie HB on 01-11-25
By: Krista Cantell
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Love Unfu*ked
- Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together
- By: Gary John Bishop
- Narrated by: Gary John Bishop
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
No matter how much advice we get or how much work we do on our “stuff,” nothing ever seems to make the difference. The truth of it is, you’re woefully ill-equipped for one of the most life-defining things you will ever take on—being in a committed relationship. Whether you’re currently in one, want to be in one, half in–half out, getting over one, married, single, separated, divorced, or just overwhelmed with the whole thing, let’s cut through the morass of relationship schtick and put you back in charge.
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A candid kick in the a$$ about your relationships
- By Tranquility38 on 01-18-22
By: Gary John Bishop
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Communicate Your Feelings (Without Starting a Fight)
- What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner
- By: Nic Saluppo
- Narrated by: Colin Kibler
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner’s feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it’s not going to keep you afloat for very long—you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: toward more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust.
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Marriage saving!
- By J Keegan on 02-07-23
By: Nic Saluppo
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The Anxious Hearts Guide
- Rising Above Anxious Attachment
- By: Rikki Cloos
- Narrated by: Rikki Cloos
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
It’s been three days with no call or text back...you can’t eat, sleep, or work. You’re going to die alone in your bed, gripping your phone, waiting for a response; or at least that’s what your brain keeps telling you. There’s a common flaw that people who chase partners all have in common. Are you an anxious attacher? If you’re still holding your phone hoping they’ll reply then drop it now and pick up this book.
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Solid Guidance - Thank you
- By Anonymous User on 12-30-22
By: Rikki Cloos
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The Science of Trust
- Emotional Attunement for Couples
- By: John M. Gottman Ph.D.
- Narrated by: J. Charles
- Length: 16 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.
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Technical version of his other book
- By SoCalSkills on 07-26-17
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How to Be the Love You Seek
- Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships
- By: Dr. Nicole LePera
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Relationships have always been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, whether familial, romantic, or platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often at the root of our deepest suffering. While our hearts are primed for compassionate connection, our nervous systems—which store all our past hurts and disappointments—are wired for threat and negativity.
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The conclusion— was this one big rationalization for self indulgence?
- By Susan G DeLorenzo on 04-30-24
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8 Rules of Love
- How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go
- By: Jay Shetty
- Narrated by: Jay Shetty
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.
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Audio quality is lacking:(
- By Robert Scarberry on 01-31-23
By: Jay Shetty
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Love Life
- How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily (No Matter What)
- By: Matthew Hussey
- Narrated by: Matthew Hussey
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Finding love can be hard. Being single can feel even harder. In Love Life, world-renowned coach and New York Times bestselling author Matthew Hussey provides a practical roadmap for letting go of past relationships, overcoming the fear of getting left behind, and finding the love we want.
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The chapter on hard conversations was useful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-20-24
By: Matthew Hussey
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Healing Your Attachment Wounds
- How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
- By: Diane Poole Heller
- Narrated by: Diane Poole Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From our earliest years, teaches Diane Poole Heller, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our intimate relationships, with our children, and at work. And traumatic events can deeply affect that core relational blueprint. With Healing Your Attachment Wounds, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution brings together these two fields to help us understand and benefit from their complementary principles and methods.
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u mean i’m not doomed to self inflicted suffocating loneliness?
- By SidVid on 01-20-20
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Nan Silver
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
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not a good audiobook
- By jynlyn on 09-02-20
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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Eight Dates
- Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Doug Abrams, and others
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Julie McKay
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
- By Anonymous User on 01-21-20
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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Anxious Attachment Recovery
- Go from Being Clingy to Confident & Secure in Your Relationships (Break Free and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships)
- By: Linda Hill
- Narrated by: Alene Sorensen
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Moths that get too close to the light burn their wings. Men and women who become too attached to their partners tear their relationships apart. Your relationship doesn't have to end in heartache like so many others.
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Healing Anxious Attachment
- By Jamie Bee on 08-25-23
By: Linda Hill
What listeners say about Secure Love
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- sessoms1011
- 03-18-24
I Have Hope for Healing
As a psychologist these concepts are not foreign; however, it’s so challenging to practice them when it’s your own relationship. This book helped me feel seen and gave me tangible tools for how to continue my growth journey, with the hope that my partner will as well. I’m appreciate of the language. It’s improved my discourse and ability to name my attachment needs.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-04-24
Just What I Needed
Grateful for this read at this time in my life.
I feel like my wife and I have a great relationship already - but I always struggled with “am I loving enough” and “what is love?”
I now have tools to be more in control of triggers and we can have much better conversations and solve things together.
Thanks for this, it was all I needed!
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1 person found this helpful
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- John S.
- 04-05-24
Amazing
So much hope and this book acknowledges neurodivergence
Real examples of how to communicate differently
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tina
- 09-18-24
Lots of great info
A wealth of info for healing a struggling relationship. Delves into Attachment styles, communication techniques, reversing negative cycles, etc. Highly recommend!
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- Anonymous User
- 04-10-24
Attachment styles and the deep impact they have
thought it was written very well! Very insight full and well explained described ! Made me understand some uncomfortable reality
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- Geoff
- 08-20-24
Simplify conflict resolution
Great book to learn about common relationship patterns that can be improved upon with this deeper look at root causes. Applicable information, easily understood, and covers misunderstandings in communication or different thinking styles. Helping to break negative cycles so couples can enjoy more peace and trust by overcoming ruptures through mutual understand of the other’s view point.
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- Zibah
- 11-08-24
Great Read!
It empowers you with practical tools. Takes it beyond the what and why of attachment to providing helpful tools.
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- maggie
- 11-06-24
If only we had this teaching as kids
Clear, manageable, Bitesized guidance, and good examples to use in life.
Love the reading, love the examples, I feel like I was just given a phenomenal tool to use in all my relationships. DO NOT pass up the opportunity
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-17-24
Recommend by my therapist! Very insightful!
Very insightful and easy to follow with lots of great examples to illustrate concepts. I learned a lot.
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- Kris
- 05-23-24
Mandatory Read for Relationship Help
This book should be mandatory. It’s incredibly helpful to understand your attachment as well as your partner’s. Thank you for laying it out so clearly. The author did a fantastic job using real examples.
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