Preview
  • Men Who Can't Love

  • How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart
  • By: Julia Sokol, Steven Carter
  • Narrated by: Kevin Young
  • Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (813 ratings)

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Men Who Can't Love

By: Julia Sokol, Steven Carter
Narrated by: Kevin Young
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Publisher's summary

The million-copy New York Times best seller and classic relationship book.

Featured on Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael, this definitive look at the dynamics of male-female communication gets to the heart of the all-too-common phenomenon: women who are ready and willing to commit, and men who back off just as the relationship moves toward the next level.

This audiobook can help you:

  • Recognize early warning signs of the commitmentphobic man
  • Determine the extent of his fears - and his willingness to change
  • Analyze your own role in the situation
  • Avoid unnecessary stress and heartache

©1987, 1996 Steven Carter and Julia Sokol Coopersmith (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
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Editorial reviews

Steven Carter and Julia Sokol's seminal relationship book offers a thorough, penetrating examination of the complex behavior and psychology of commitment-phobic males who, as stated in the book, can go from "attentive and caring to distant and hurtful for apparent reason".

Kevin Young's accomplished, measured performance reflects the high esteem with which these groundbreaking interviews and case studies are held in the field of relationship therapy, and his genial, conversational tone keeps the listener interested throughout this thought-provoking work.

What listeners say about Men Who Can't Love

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Lifesaver!!

15 unique words it's a good book it's about my boyfriend I learned a lot I'm going to break up with him this will be a lifesaver he's making my life miserable

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8 people found this helpful

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depressing

listening in hopes of learning and knowledge is power. yet this is a little difficult to listen to , stories of narcissists are never fun.
I do believe every single woman should learn how to avoid them and read this book as to avoid future therapy after learning these unfortunate lessons.
on the other hand, it's depressing that women go through these unique challenges, and to acknowledge this.

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THE BOOK THAT MADE IT CLICK

I’ve listened to SO many books after my breakup. I bought extra credits even. But nothing seemed to shed any light on my situation in particular. Until I found this book. I read things saying is sexist and archaic; that women can be scared of commitment too, and seriously, why fight for the right to be as stupid as men? This book is THE ONLY BOOK that made me understand what was happening and why. It was my come to Jesus moment. I mean the author wrote a second book due to the overwhelming response for women to be included in the commitment phobic club. I swear to god. I’ve listened to the whole thing three times over. I have all my little bookmark clippings. This book allowed me to accept just what a hopeless loser he is. It allowed me to give up hope on a relationship that I now realize was over WAY before I thought it was. It allowed me to see my own value and not give this idiot any more real estate in my brain. He doesn’t deserve it.

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Amazing! Highly recommend

Total guy perspective and helped me realize that no I'm not the problem. It literally felt like the author was speaking directly to me so many relatable topics. I actually read this once a month to keep me on the right track. I have recommended this to a few girl friends and they all loved it as well.

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wonderfully written

wonderfully written and helped me understand him and the reason things went bad. This is essential to learning how to be self protecting.

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Saved me from losing my sanity

This book gave me closure, the ability to release, and accept that my boyfriend is terrified of commitment. I thought I was going insane, it gave me insight into all of his strange and horrible behaviour. It showed me that after investing 3 years of my life, he ultimately broke my heart, but that I will be able to move on. As it wasn't me, it was him, and his confusion of what love really is.

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Validating reminder not to doubt my decision.

The author has nailed the behavior of selfish, unempathetic and and crazy making partners.

Explaining and also giving examples of behavior of the uncommitted partner and their manipulative tactics, unremorseful actions and games. Stonewalling, lying, defensiveness and flight mode when it comes to resolving conflict or communicating on a deep level which will inhibit the growrh of the relationship.

SOME are unaware that they have a commitment phobia. There's no learning from mistakes or inward reflection as MOST have no intention on committing in the first place. No hope for a relationship with the commitment phobe as it's very unlikely they would change or even want to.

Commitment phobe seems similar to the Peter Pan syndrome as well as immature narcissistic behavior to me.

This book teaches how to recognizr these unhealthy behaviors and how truly disrespectful they are. You'll hear about all the red flags to watch for in order to be aware of who you're dealing with. Also, to run the other direction before your heart is torn out and years of your life are wasted on someone that's not able to commit to a long-term loving relationship.

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Perfectly described my situation

I purchased the book & became so intrigued by its context I couldn't put it down. That's when I looked into audio version & am I glad I did.
I'd love it even more if I could gift this to a few men in my life. I felt I was going crazy with different emotions, mixed signals, I even broke up with my boyfriend of 6 yrs. when my friend of 20+ yrs. strongly pursued me....
Not realizing he's commitment phobic. I wish I'd know sooner. Now our friendship has suffered tremendously, I regret getting involved with him. Honestly this. Book was a huge and complete eye opener. I'm going to follow my instincts and to & pay attentions to a man's behavior patterns, their attitude, and their engagement.
Definitely recommend this to women out their going through a relationship where you feel your giving more than you are receiving, allowing a man to disappear and reappear with no questions asked, any woman feeling like she's always walking on egg shells afraid to say anything when mistreated, a guy that never called you back when he said he would. A guy that said he'd change & beg for another opportunity. Even someone going through a breakup. It will definitely give you fulfillment after listening/reading this book that we the women did nothing wrong. Loved it. Now want to get into reading "he's afraid, she's afraid "...

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Aha moment!

This book is an eye opener! Makes you do a self evaluation of your relationship and yourself. Thank you!

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a must read for those that fall 4 Mr.unavailable

loved it, hit really close to home , was able to relate and reflect from my own experiences

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