Men Who Can't Love
How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart
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Narrated by:
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Kevin Young
About this listen
The million-copy New York Times best seller and classic relationship book.
Featured on Oprah and Sally Jesse Raphael, this definitive look at the dynamics of male-female communication gets to the heart of the all-too-common phenomenon: women who are ready and willing to commit, and men who back off just as the relationship moves toward the next level.
This audiobook can help you:
- Recognize early warning signs of the commitmentphobic man
- Determine the extent of his fears - and his willingness to change
- Analyze your own role in the situation
- Avoid unnecessary stress and heartache
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Editorial reviews
Steven Carter and Julia Sokol's seminal relationship book offers a thorough, penetrating examination of the complex behavior and psychology of commitment-phobic males who, as stated in the book, can go from "attentive and caring to distant and hurtful for apparent reason".
Kevin Young's accomplished, measured performance reflects the high esteem with which these groundbreaking interviews and case studies are held in the field of relationship therapy, and his genial, conversational tone keeps the listener interested throughout this thought-provoking work.
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- How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse - and How You Can, Too
- By: Winifred M. Reilly MA MFT
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Conventional wisdom says that "it takes two" to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can't agree on how - or whether - to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. It Takes One to Tango is a groundbreaking guide that shows how one determined partner can spark lasting, significant change in a marriage.
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Great book!
- By colette on 05-08-17
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30 Lessons for Loving
- Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
- By: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on the most detailed survey of long married people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together.
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Our Elders Really are the Experts!
- By Cher Finnan on 12-29-15
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Joint Custody with a Jerk
- Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex
- By: Judy Corcoran, Julie A. Ross, MA
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
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Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition
- What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
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Discover the truth he wants you to know! The man in your life is keeping secrets. They’re so deep inside he barely knows they're there, much less how to talk to you about them. Yet he genuinely wants you to "get" him - to understand his inner life, his fears, his needs... In her landmark best seller For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn reveals what every woman - single or married - needs to know.
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Life changing
- By Jill on 10-19-13
By: Shaunti Feldhahn
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
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- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
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Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
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- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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For Men Only (Revised and Updated Edition)
- A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn, Jeff Feldhahn
- Narrated by: Jeff Feldhahn
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
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Finally, you can understand her! If you're like most men, you've burned up lots of energy trying to figure out what a woman wants, what makes her tick, and how to make her happy. The good news: success is simpler than you thought. In their groundbreaking classic, For Men Only, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn reveal the eye opening truths and simple acts that will radically improve your relationship with the woman you love.
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Really helpfull!
- By kristie bento on 03-18-15
By: Shaunti Feldhahn, and others
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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Title does not reflect the content
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When Loving Him Is Hurting You
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The book I so desperately needed to read
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
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What listeners say about Men Who Can't Love
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Stacia
- 08-05-15
Lifesaver!!
15 unique words it's a good book it's about my boyfriend I learned a lot I'm going to break up with him this will be a lifesaver he's making my life miserable
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8 people found this helpful
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- Gil
- 12-25-20
depressing
listening in hopes of learning and knowledge is power. yet this is a little difficult to listen to , stories of narcissists are never fun.
I do believe every single woman should learn how to avoid them and read this book as to avoid future therapy after learning these unfortunate lessons.
on the other hand, it's depressing that women go through these unique challenges, and to acknowledge this.
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- Alexa Prisco
- 02-16-21
THE BOOK THAT MADE IT CLICK
I’ve listened to SO many books after my breakup. I bought extra credits even. But nothing seemed to shed any light on my situation in particular. Until I found this book. I read things saying is sexist and archaic; that women can be scared of commitment too, and seriously, why fight for the right to be as stupid as men? This book is THE ONLY BOOK that made me understand what was happening and why. It was my come to Jesus moment. I mean the author wrote a second book due to the overwhelming response for women to be included in the commitment phobic club. I swear to god. I’ve listened to the whole thing three times over. I have all my little bookmark clippings. This book allowed me to accept just what a hopeless loser he is. It allowed me to give up hope on a relationship that I now realize was over WAY before I thought it was. It allowed me to see my own value and not give this idiot any more real estate in my brain. He doesn’t deserve it.
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- Marie S
- 05-25-21
Amazing! Highly recommend
Total guy perspective and helped me realize that no I'm not the problem. It literally felt like the author was speaking directly to me so many relatable topics. I actually read this once a month to keep me on the right track. I have recommended this to a few girl friends and they all loved it as well.
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- Erica @ Artful Isolation
- 05-10-20
wonderfully written
wonderfully written and helped me understand him and the reason things went bad. This is essential to learning how to be self protecting.
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- Richelle
- 05-09-17
Saved me from losing my sanity
This book gave me closure, the ability to release, and accept that my boyfriend is terrified of commitment. I thought I was going insane, it gave me insight into all of his strange and horrible behaviour. It showed me that after investing 3 years of my life, he ultimately broke my heart, but that I will be able to move on. As it wasn't me, it was him, and his confusion of what love really is.
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- Love2read
- 05-22-22
Validating reminder not to doubt my decision.
The author has nailed the behavior of selfish, unempathetic and and crazy making partners.
Explaining and also giving examples of behavior of the uncommitted partner and their manipulative tactics, unremorseful actions and games. Stonewalling, lying, defensiveness and flight mode when it comes to resolving conflict or communicating on a deep level which will inhibit the growrh of the relationship.
SOME are unaware that they have a commitment phobia. There's no learning from mistakes or inward reflection as MOST have no intention on committing in the first place. No hope for a relationship with the commitment phobe as it's very unlikely they would change or even want to.
Commitment phobe seems similar to the Peter Pan syndrome as well as immature narcissistic behavior to me.
This book teaches how to recognizr these unhealthy behaviors and how truly disrespectful they are. You'll hear about all the red flags to watch for in order to be aware of who you're dealing with. Also, to run the other direction before your heart is torn out and years of your life are wasted on someone that's not able to commit to a long-term loving relationship.
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- Wendy
- 10-19-16
Perfectly described my situation
I purchased the book & became so intrigued by its context I couldn't put it down. That's when I looked into audio version & am I glad I did.
I'd love it even more if I could gift this to a few men in my life. I felt I was going crazy with different emotions, mixed signals, I even broke up with my boyfriend of 6 yrs. when my friend of 20+ yrs. strongly pursued me....
Not realizing he's commitment phobic. I wish I'd know sooner. Now our friendship has suffered tremendously, I regret getting involved with him. Honestly this. Book was a huge and complete eye opener. I'm going to follow my instincts and to & pay attentions to a man's behavior patterns, their attitude, and their engagement.
Definitely recommend this to women out their going through a relationship where you feel your giving more than you are receiving, allowing a man to disappear and reappear with no questions asked, any woman feeling like she's always walking on egg shells afraid to say anything when mistreated, a guy that never called you back when he said he would. A guy that said he'd change & beg for another opportunity. Even someone going through a breakup. It will definitely give you fulfillment after listening/reading this book that we the women did nothing wrong. Loved it. Now want to get into reading "he's afraid, she's afraid "...
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6 people found this helpful
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- Kmel
- 04-09-21
Aha moment!
This book is an eye opener! Makes you do a self evaluation of your relationship and yourself. Thank you!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Brittany Meador
- 12-16-21
a must read for those that fall 4 Mr.unavailable
loved it, hit really close to home , was able to relate and reflect from my own experiences
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