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Noobs
- Narrated by: Matthew Fearnley
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
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Publisher's summary
If you think life is a game, wait until you play death!
Chris and Steve were quite happy sitting in their rooms playing online games until events in a kabab shop changed everything and reset all of the rules.
A deal with the Grim Reaper could give them both a second chance at life if they can play the game of their lives inside some of the games they have only ever seen through a screen, until now.
Luckily, they are not alone; friends they had not met, or maybe they had, help the new guys - the Noobs!
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40 ROLLS OF ASS CLEANING GOODNESS
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-25-15
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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Alien Hunter
- Flynn Carroll, Book 1
- By: Whitley Strieber
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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A young wife disappears in the night, never to be seen again. There is no evidence of kidnapping - in fact, everything indicates that she left on purpose. Her husband, a brilliant police detective, cannot believe this - but he also can't find her. Flynn Carroll’s lost love becomes his obsession. He begins amassing a file of similar cases nationwide.
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Don't waste time or credit
- By modok on 06-11-14
By: Whitley Strieber
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Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
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Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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Soda Pop Soldier
- Soda Pop Soldier, Book 1
- By: Nick Cole
- Narrated by: Guy Williams
- Length: 12 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Gamer PerfectQuestion fights for ColaCorp in WarWorld, an online combat sport arena where megacorporations field entire armies in the battle for real world global advertising-space dominance. Within the immense virtual battlefield, players and bots are high-tech grunts, using drop-ships and state-of-the-art weaponry to wipe each other out. But times are tough, and the rent is due, and when players need extra dough there's always the Black, an illegal open source tournament where the sick and twisted desires of the future are given free rein in the Wastehavens.
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Soda Pop Soldier Rules!
- By John Spears on 11-10-18
By: Nick Cole
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Tomorrow, When the War Began
- Television Series
- By: John Marsden
- Narrated by: Suzi Dougherty
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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The book that began the series that became the legend.... Now a major television series. Somewhere out there Ellie and her friends are hiding. They're shocked, they're frightened, they're alone. Their world has changed with the speed of a slamming door. They've got no weapons - except courage. They've got no help - except themselves. They've got nothing - except friendship. How strong can you be when the world is full of people trying to kill you?
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Really fun
- By Matthew Davis on 09-05-23
By: John Marsden
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Way of the Wolf
- The Vampire Earth, Book 1
- By: E. E. Knight
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel, E. E. Knight (Introduction)
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Louisiana, 2065. A lot has changed in the 43rd year of the Kurian Order. Possessed of an unnatural and legendary hunger, the bloodthirsty Reapers have come to Earth to establish a New Order built on the harvesting of enslaved human souls. They rule the planet. They thrive on the scent of fear. And if it is night, as sure as darkness, they will come.
On this pitiless world, the indomitable spirit of mankind still breathes in Lieutenant David Valentine.
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Its what you expect, and thats not a bad thing.
- By Kevin McLaughlin on 11-26-08
By: E. E. Knight
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Under a Graveyard Sky
- Black Tide Rising, Book 1
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Zombies are real. And we made them. Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse? The Smith family is, with the help of a few marines. When an airborne "zombie" plague is released, bringing civilization to a grinding halt, the Smith family, Steven, Stacey, Sophia, and Faith, take to the Atlantic to avoid the chaos. The plan is to find a safe haven from the anarchy of infected humanity. What they discover, instead, is a sea composed of the tears of survivors and a passion for bringing hope.
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Sorry to say....not so good. :(
- By Chris on 03-07-14
By: John Ringo
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The Reluctant Adventures of Fletcher Connolly on the Interstellar Railroad
- By: Felix R. Savage
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Fletcher Connolly hasn't got a lot to lose. Since he and half the galaxy signed on to the rat race of the technological relics trade, Fletch has come to terms with the idea that he will join the ranks of unlucky explorers that perish light years from home without a dime to his name. But bankruptcy is a great motivator. With friends and family counting on him to strike it rich, Fletch embarks on an unwilling quest for alien treasure.
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I wanted to love this book, but I did like it
- By wag more on 07-26-18
By: Felix R. Savage
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Unfiction
- By: Gene Doucette
- Narrated by: Brad Wills
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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When Oliver Naughton joins the Tenth Avenue Writers Underground, headed by literary wunderkind Wilson Knight, Oliver figures he'll finally get some of his wild imaginings out of his head and onto paper. But when Wilson takes an intense interest in Oliver's writing and his genre stories of dragons, aliens, and spies, things get weird. Oliver's stories don't just need to be finished: they insist on it.
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Perfectly Captured Tone and Well Matched Wit
- By Ian on 08-04-17
By: Gene Doucette
What listeners say about Noobs
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- D McGraw
- 05-11-23
5 stars
Well done. Well narrated. Will be looking forward to the next release from this author. I received this copy free in exchange for an honest review.
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- Jennifer C.
- 05-24-22
An awesome listen! Very funny!
Chris and Steve are two friends in their early twenties who each still live at home and spend most of their time playing video games online. Taking a break from a game one night, they decide to meet up at the local kebab shop for some food. When they get there, the shop is overrun by a large group of kids who have just won their regional competition and are celebrating. While they wait on their turn to order, Chris turns around and sees a fiery ball of something heading straight for the kebab shop. Before he and Steve even realize what's happening, the meteor has crashed into the kebab shop, killing everyone there.
Not ready to die just yet, and certainly not ready to see all those kids die, Steve and Chris make a deal with the Grim Reaper that if they pass through his trials, he will send them back so they can save the dancing kids. Or maybe it's dancing donkeys. There may be some confusion there. Anyway, in order to pass the trials, Chris and Steve have to make it through each of the various game levels without dying.
While they aren't the best at playing the games, they pick up some squadmates along the way who help them out. But, are those squadmates good enough to help the two friends make it through all the trials? And what about the last trial that is supposedly unbeatable?
This book was a lot of fun to read, and I found myself laughing out loud in several places. I also thoroughly enjoyed the author's attempts to describe the various video games without using the actual game names, as well as the antics that Steve, Chris, and Three get up to while trying to beat the various trials. There isn't much depth to the characters, and they certainly don't have any great epiphanies while going through the trials, but they do show some growth and understanding about what they want to do with their lives should they make it through the trials.
I listened to the audiobook version, narrated by Matthew Fearnley, after reading the book and it was awesome! He did such a good job narrating the book that all the good parts were made even better and the not-so-good or slightly confusing parts were elevated. In addition, because you're listening to someone else read it, you don't notice the typos. I enjoyed the book when I read it; I loved it when I listened to it! I will definitely be listening to Noobs again!
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- Jason Jay Harrington
- 04-25-23
Death, video games, and hijinks...laughs abound!
My last encounter with Mr. Carr's work was Respect To the Man in the Ice Cream Van. When I saw this cover, (I'm a fan of reaper stories) and saw the synopsis, I couldn't resist.
The beginning has a hilarious start that reminds me of the first episode of Dead Like Me, but the video game barrage laced with absolute hilarity, brings it to laugh loud even in a serious crowd level. (I was listening at work.)
For those thinking Mr. Carr will only favor one generation of video games in some bland presentation of guesswork...think again. Yes, you will see games from the ancient days of atari, but our heroes must survive wastelands from the 90's and early 2000s, to titles I only know because my son loves them.
Not only this, but Carr's jokes and skits are broad range and extremely versatile. With this kind of humor, you might think to side with our mcs Chris and Steve, but my favorites were Norge, followed closely by Villager #3. (Quite an achievement to make me gloss over the Reaper in a Reaper story.)
It all has an awesome Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy feel, and someone should give this guy a Kickstarter just to make a movie out of it. (I would pitch in and gladly pay money to see it.)
So, we come to narration, by Matthew Fearnley, phenomenal with Supreme delivery.
At no point was his tonal anything other than on point. There are narrators who save all their energy for dialogue, at the most, but Mr. Fearnley matches every shift of text with the exact emotional equivalent, and it gave me even more laughs and put every delightfully silly scene into perfect clarity in my mind.
Most importantly, audiences will be left with one daunting question when listening to this...
"Where'd my wood go?"
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- Jonathan Riley
- 05-31-22
Enjoyable
From the start all the way to the end I was hooked and had to know how it would end. Two friends who are very into games and live at home are put into a situation where they need to complete game levels they are put into for something greater than themselves. The story is full of dudes and bros which I honestly have rated books low because of but the reader kept me entertained and I found myself not being annoyed by it. The reader was brilliant in this role and felt like he was having fun with it and in turn made me have fun with it. The characters added along there journey and the quirky jokes and call backs made me laugh. I’m definitely going to check out another book by Simon Carr. Thank you for the enjoyment while at work and on my way home.
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- M. King & A. Petersen
- 10-09-22
Video Game Adventure
The narration was only okay, I liked it at items, but others it just didn’t work. I didn’t feel the narrator changed characters well, at times it felt deadpan. The only character done well was villager number three. The narration made it difficult to engage with the story.
I was a bit disappointed with this book. I gave it a three because it was an average read. I was expecting all of the video game nerdiness and it did deliver that, but also did not. I enjoyed death and how he manipulated the game worlds. I enjoyed that each world was a video game, I know names can not be used, but some worlds I was not sure what game it was supposed to be, a few more hints would have helped. I was a little annoyed with villager number three by the end. I hoped he would grow, even though he was a programmed AI. This definitely was an intriguing video game story about getting a second chance at life. The plot was only okay and not as engaging as this video game nerd hopped. I received a copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
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- Laura
- 03-06-22
Great Techno Games Thriller
I enjoyed this wacky, zany, and amusing story that featured two guys who became players in some of the old technological games in order to attain a second chance at life. The story was outlandish. The characters were quirky and fun. It was creative and entertaining. I really enjoyed the author's sense of humor. Matthew Fearnley's narration was great, and his portrayal was entertaining in its own way. I was given a free copy of the audiobook and I have voluntarily posted this review.
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- Mariel
- 03-28-22
Side-splitting humour!
Noobs
by Simon Carr
I received a complimentary copy and am voluntarily leaving a review.
What happens when the dead come face to face with Death aka the Grim Reaper? Simon Carr sheds light on the consequences of poor decisions and squandered opportunities in Noobs. A humorous look at how we should value what we have and make more of our everyday life. Chris and Steve, two jobless gamers, are taken by surprise whilst queuing for a kebab. Taken by surprise is maybe an understatement, as a meteor crashes to Earth and obliterates them and their surroundings. How could it get any worse, they wonder, until the Grim Reaper appears and tries to smooth things over and alleviate the pair's confusion about, well, being dead.
As expected, Chris and Steve don’t acknowledge the news well. Who would? In response to their insistence to return to their lives, Death provides them with the opportunity to begin The Trials. A series of games to pass through in order to “ retract from death “. What happens when Chris and Steve are thrust into an all too real video game? Can they beat the ultimate level to gain all necessary keys and eventually find their way back to life? Read this book to find out. In this novel, Simon Carr exhibits his writing prowess. The language used is simple and helps to enhance the relatability within the course of the story. The author also weaves an excellent plot by creating the right suspense needed to sustain the reader’s interest. After the initial introduction to set the scene, the story develops at a fast pace, crammed full of Simon Carr’s amusing wit.
I listened to the audio version narrated by Matthew Fearnley, whilst simultaneously reading the book. Matthew Fearnley gives the impression of enjoying the narration, vocally creating scenery and giving life to the characters. The only negative comment I have is I found some slight inconsistencies in certain words read by him and the text, and in parts, I felt he rushed. Therefore, I rate Noobs four out of five stars. My favorite character in the book is probably Villager Number Three due to his obsessive need to collect wood. Also, the patience Chris and Steve display towards him, accepting one another, needing to work through each scenario to the benefit of one another. In conclusion, I recommend Noobs by Simon Carr to lovers of comedy and humour. The book, full of trials and tribulations, is perfect to kick back and relax. In a world that is full of crazy at the moment, a book such as Noobs is essential to let off steam and smile. Although it may not be suitable for conscious readers or listeners who are offended by the use of bad language.
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- DeeDeeW
- 02-18-22
So much fun!
This book was funny from the beginning... The characters, the adventures, and the games they went through kept you reading to see what hijinks would happen next.
Recommended for anyone that likes a fun read and knows some of the classic games.
Narration was fun to listen to. Good voice for the characters
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- Nemesis
- 03-22-22
Simon Carr's writing is hilarious!
Simon Carr's writing is hilarious and I absolutely loved this book. As a child of the 80s and 90s this one really spoke to me and made me laugh out loud plenty of times. Overall well developed characters and a fun romp through the world of the Grim Reaper. Audio Version: Matthew Fearnley has a great voice for this book and these characters. Well done!
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- LITRPG Audiobook Reviews
- 06-22-23
Think LITRPG meets Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
JB
If you know LITRPG, a subgenre in which main characters are tossed into a video game, or have watched Bill & Ted take on The Reaper in order to come back to life, and LOVED both of them then this is the book for you. CLever, funny, and raucous as a roomful of hungry cats this tale is sure to make you laugh while enjoying the story of two dudes fighting to live again while bumbling through video game after video game.
Fearnley is funny, but aggressive as Donkey Kong with a stack of barrels behind him when he needs to be.
Good book. It's short enough for some quick entertainment. Long enough that you don't feel shorted.
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