
Raising Securely Attached Kids
Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience
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By:
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Eli Harwood
About this listen
“A comprehensive road map for parents who want to raise securely attached, emotionally healthy children. A parenting must-read.”—Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions
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Learn how to create a lifetime of connection, trust, and open communication with your children through connection-focused parenting.
Though there have been countless studies on how attachment styles affect our romantic relationships, Raising Securely Attached Kids is the first book to reframe the subject for caregivers and children, and brings transformative change to your relationships of all stripes.
Therapist and wildly popular attachment research expert Eli Harwood (@attachmentnerd) illuminates the science that explores our innate human need to bond with other humans, and helps us harness it as the only parenting approach proven to have a lasting impact. Her loyal following—fast approaching the millions—connects to Eli’s accessible approach that helps everyone form secure and close relationships with their kids, which helps them develop resilience, confidence, and form close relationships in the future.
Hopeful and inspiring, this essential evidence-based guide shows parents, educators, and anyone with children in their lives that they are not alone in the questions and concerns they may have about raising confident, capable, and caring kids.
Covering every parenting era from newborns to adults, Raising Securely Attached Kids’ simple, real-life strategies will help you:
· Move past old patterns from your childhood to become the parent or caregiver you yearn to be—no matter what you went through growing up
· Resolve past attachment traumas so you can offer a calm, connected, and secure base
· Create a secure attachment relationship with your kids by choosing connection over control
· Build and reinforce a strong foundation of trust with scripts and practical tools
· Understand that it’s never too late to create a stronger bond with your children
*This program includes a downloadable PDF which contains the table of influence approaches as well as the formula list of a child’s internal state vs. external choices.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Eli Harwood (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
In a time when so many children and young adults seem to be struggling, parents are looking for help in bringing up mentally healthy kids who are equipped to thrive. Finally, evidence-based help is now available for overwhelmed parents who are trying their best but feel like they’re falling short.
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Some good points within an unhelpful delivery
- By circle_a on 04-26-24
By: Daniel G. Amen M.D., and others
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The Whole-Brain Child
- 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.
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Several comments on the brain were incorrect.
- By Abelle on 04-18-23
By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., and others
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Tiny Humans, Big Emotions
- How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
- By: Alyssa Blask Campbell, Lauren Elizabeth Stauble
- Narrated by: Alyssa Blask Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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We’re in the midst of a parenting revolution that is radically changing the way we raise our kids. Gone are the days of minimizing emotions: Don’t Cry. You’re Fine. Don’t Make a Scene. As our understanding of developing brains has increased, today’s parents are looking for a new way to help their children understand their feelings and learn to process them.
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Good pointers for preschool parents and teachers
- By Chelsea on 06-17-24
By: Alyssa Blask Campbell, and others
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The Way of Play
- Using Little Moments of Big Connection to Raise Calm and Confident Kids
- By: Tina Payne Bryson, Georgie Wisen-Vincent
- Narrated by: Tina Payne Bryson, Georgie Wisen-Vincent
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Most parents understand that free, unstructured playtime is great for children’s development. What they may not know is that playful interaction with parents is also a powerful way for kids to cultivate healthy emotional development and resilience. Kids often want their parents to play with them, but many parents don’t know how to play or see it only as an (often boring) way to kill time. Playing with your kids doesn’t have to mean enrolling in countless parent-and-me classes or getting on all fours and making toy car sounds; the little daily moments together can make the most impact.
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Straightforward and easy to listen
- By Amazon Customer on 03-27-25
By: Tina Payne Bryson, and others
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No-Drama Discipline
- The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
- By: Tina Payne Bryson PhD, Daniel j. Siegel MD
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears - without causing a scene. Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth.
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I Can See Light At The End Of My Tunnel
- By G Busi on 02-23-15
By: Tina Payne Bryson PhD, and others
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Good Inside
- A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
- By: Becky Kennedy
- Narrated by: Becky Kennedy
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Over the past several years, Dr. Becky Kennedy—known to her followers as “Dr. Becky”—has been sparking a parenting revolution. Millions of parents, tired of following advice that either doesn’t work or simply doesn’t feel good, have embraced Dr. Becky’s empowering and effective approach, a model that prioritizes connecting with our kids over correcting them. Parents have long been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn’t work. From reward charts to time outs, many popular parenting approaches are based on shaping behavior, not raising humans.
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Sounds Wonderful, Does Not Work
- By R. Humphrey on 01-08-23
By: Becky Kennedy
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Punishment-Free Parenting
- The Brain-Based Way to Raise Kids Without Raising Your Voice
- By: Jon Fogel, Tina Payne Bryson - foreword
- Narrated by: Jon Fogel, Tina Payne Bryson
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Every parent has had that painful moment of messing up and seeing that they need help if they are going to raise happy, emotionally healthy kids. For Jon Fogel, that moment came after yelling at his son and realizing he was making the same mistakes his own parents made. He knew something had to change; he needed to understand and redirect his own emotions. That realization put Fogel on a path toward wholeness: understanding himself, learning about the brain, naming his emotions.
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Way too much microphone feedback
- By Cameron Hetzler on 03-31-25
By: Jon Fogel, and others
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Parent Yourself First
- Raise Confident, Compassionate Kids by Becoming the Parent You Wish You'd Had
- By: Bryana Kappadakunnel
- Narrated by: Bryana Kappadakunnel
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us didn’t have a perfect childhood. But it’s never too late (or too early!) to transform into the parent you were always meant to be—grounded, present, intentional, compassionate, and confident. In Parent Yourself First, licensed marriage and family therapist Bryana Kappadakunnel argues that the secret to successful parenting is to UN-learn the wounded patterns you grew up with and create new ways to connect with your child.
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A warm hug for your soul
- By EMPN on 03-31-25
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
- By: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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This best-selling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.
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Best. Parenting. Book. Ever.
- By John on 01-02-13
By: Adele Faber, and others
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Healed
- How Cancer Gave Me a New Life
- By: Manisha Koirala, Neelam Kumar
- Narrated by: Aishwarya Singh
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Healed is the powerful, moving and deeply personal story of actor Manisha Koirala's battle against ovarian cancer. From her treatment in the US and the wonderful care provided by the oncologists there to how she rebuilt her life once she returned home, the book takes us on an emotional roller-coaster ride through her many fears and struggles and shows how she eventually came out triumphant. Today, as she completes six years of being cancer-free, she shares her story - one marked by apprehensions, disappointments and uncertainties - and the lessons she learnt along the way.
By: Manisha Koirala, and others
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Hold On to Your Kids
- Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers
- By: Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté MD
- Narrated by: Gabor Maté MD, Daniel Maté
- Length: 14 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction—for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids.
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Very very disappointed
- By CristinaPG on 01-11-20
By: Gordon Neufeld, and others
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How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen
- A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
- By: Joanna Faber, Julie King
- Narrated by: Heather Alicia Simms, Michele Pawk, Candace Thaxton, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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What do you do with a little kid who...won't brush her teeth...screams in his car seat...pinches the baby...refuses to eat vegetables...runs rampant in the supermarket? Organized according to common challenges and conflicts, this book is an essential emergency first-aid manual of communication strategies, including a chapter that addresses the special needs of children with sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders.
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The message is great but the narration and writing style cringey
- By Elliott Family on 07-23-19
By: Joanna Faber, and others
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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
- The Heart of Parenting
- By: John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on 20 years of research at the University of Washington studying parent-child interactions, award-winning research psychologist John Gottman and his team have developed Emotion Coaching - a technique parents can use to teach their children self-awareness and self-control and to foster good emotional development. This proven technique has demonstrated a positive effect on children's physical health, academic achievement, and emotional well-being.
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My parenting philosophy, in writing!
- By Dave on 03-03-21
By: John Gottman PhD
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The Attachment Parenting Book
- A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Child
- By: William Sears MD, Martha Sears RN
- Narrated by: Jim Denison
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Might you and your baby both sleep better if you shared a bed? How old is too old for breastfeeding? What is a father's role in nurturing a newborn? How does early attachment foster a child's eventual independence? Dr. Bill and Martha Sears - the doctor-and-nurse, husband-and-wife team who coined the term "attachment parenting" - answer these and many more questions in this practical, inspiring guide. Attachment parenting is a style of parenting that encourages a strong early attachment and advocates parental responsiveness to babies' dependency needs.
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Unscientific, somewhat sexist
- By Rachel on 06-05-22
By: William Sears MD, and others
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The Emotional Life of the Toddler
- By: Alicia F. Lieberman
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Now updated with new material throughout, Alicia F. Lieberman's The Emotional Life of the Toddler is the seminal, detailed look into the varied and intense emotional life of children aged one to three. Hailed as "groundbreaking" by The Boston Globe after its initial publication, the new edition includes the latest research on this crucial stage of development. Alicia F. Lieberman offers an in-depth examination of toddlers' emotional development and illuminates how to optimize this crucial stage.
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good material buried in here
- By Beckie Brice on 11-14-19
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Secrets, Lies, and Consequences
- A Great Scholar's Hidden Past and His Protégé's Unsolved Murder
- By: Bruce Lincoln
- Narrated by: Tom Beyer
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1991, Ioan Culianu was on the precipice of a brilliant academic career. Culianu had fled his native Romania and established himself as a widely admired scholar at just forty-one years old. He was teaching at the University of Chicago Divinity School where he was seen as the heir apparent to his mentor, Mircea Eliade, a fellow Romanian expatriate and the founding father of the field of religious studies, who had died a few years earlier.
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Scholarship and politics
- By Anonymous User on 06-27-24
By: Bruce Lincoln
What listeners say about Raising Securely Attached Kids
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- Jennifer
- 09-17-24
Practical science based and sound advice
As a single mother of two toddlers, I found the practical resources, scripts, research and science based advice in this book to be incredibly helpful for me as I navigate this new chapter for my boys and myself.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Annalies
- 04-06-25
Informative Guide
Succinct and straight to the point, with scripts on how to talk to your children and scenarios. I found it very applicable for any stage or age your kids in and helpful!
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- Lauren
- 09-07-24
Such a beautiful mix of science and real life application.
I have been dreaming of a book like this! Not only does it guide you through what secure attachment looks and feels like, but it helps you as an adult recognize the consequences of your own attachment with your caregivers and how it transcends into your parenting. Really beautifully written.
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- rebecca tierney
- 11-24-24
Real examples to use when you need them!
Wonderful guidance and a great listen. This is a book I will regularly re-listen too and keep improving my parenting skills.
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- Laura Jochens
- 09-09-24
A Book About Parenting, But Not Just For Parents!
Eli is warm, funny, and engaging as she teaches about attachment therapy and the ways its underlies all of the other parenting theories and ideas most of us are juggling!
The three things (amongst many!) I loved about this book:
1. This isn’t a book that needs you to throw out your other tactics or parenting ideologies, but rather it tells you WHY these tools work and how to construct a healthy, attachment-based foundation that will make all of the other things WORK
2. I left this book feeling positive and empowered about changing some of my less than ideal parenting tactics versus feeling overwhelmed or regretful about past parenting choices that feel less than ideal now.
3. This isn’t just for parents! Yes, a lot of it deals with the practical act of parenting, but it also highlights a lot of challenging parental behavior that many of us may have have experienced, why it doesn’t work, and how it impacts people. It is a fascinating and meaningful chance to assess your own upbringing and explore a new perspective on how to love and support any kiddo in your orbit.
This is a book I think I will come back to again and again!
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- Amanda Fuenzalida
- 09-06-24
Best Parenting Book I Have Ever Read!!!
This book is absolutely incredible and unbelievably helpful. Eli is a genius and does a wonderful job narrating as well. She is able to make the research digestible and applicable to any parent. I am so grateful to her words of wisdom and years of research in helping me on my own journey be the best parent I can be for my children. If only my parents had this book when I was younger! But it today!!!! You won't be disappointed.
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- SuperBabe
- 09-09-24
Best Book I've EVER listened To In The Therapeutic Space!!
SO many things to LOVE about this Audiobook.
Read by the author, who makes this an absolute JOYFUL BREEZE to listen to (even through the tears that may come).
Filled with profound information, that Eli (somehow) communicates in the most simple & understandable way WITH actionable behaviors & scripts you van apply immediately.
This may be my favorite audiobook of ALL TIME & I think every single human would be benefitted personal by reading it. Society will undoubtedly be made better as a whole every time one human listens to this. Even if you don't think you are looking for a book like this, you do. Not only, but especially, parents.
I will be recommending this to every human being I know.
Well done, Eli! It's not every day or ever person who can say they have created something so impactful for the entire positive continuation of humanity. What an incredible purpose you have realized for yourself.
I can't express my gratitude enough for the blessing this (and you) is, and will continue to be for myself personally, & my precious children.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-25-25
Educational, relatable, heart warming, captivating! Loved the entire thing!
Eli did such a great job at communicating the critical role of attachment and how that can lead us to a very fulfilling and healthy relationship with our kids. Seriously so good! I even bought the hard copy too so I can highlight and let that stuff sink in a little more!
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-01-25
Awakening!
I wish I had this book years ago, but I know it’s not to late, working to focus on attachment with my teens now!
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- erika van zyl
- 09-20-24
Child therapist toughts
LOVE it! This, easy to listen to, book is packed with wisdom & "YES!!" moments. It is a must for every parent!
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