The Gift of Failure
How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed
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Narrated by:
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Jessica Lahey
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By:
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Jessica Lahey
About this listen
In the tradition of Paul Tough's How Children Succeed and Wendy Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, this groundbreaking manifesto focuses on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life's inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults.
Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report-card disappointments, mastermind children's friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children's well-being, they aren't giving them the chance to experience failure - or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems.
Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child's confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don't just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight - important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom.
Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children's failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.
©2015 Jessica Lahey (P)2015 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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wonderful strategies
- By Niki Stein on 04-19-19
By: Elaine Taylor-Klaus, and others
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Positive Discipline Tools for Teachers
- Effective Classroom Management for Social, Emotional, and Academic Success
- By: Jane Nelsen, Kelly Gfroerer
- Narrated by: Virginia Wolf
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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The positive discipline method has proved to be an invaluable resource for teachers who want to foster creative problem-solving within their students, giving them the behavioral skills they need to understand and process what they learn. Each tool is tailored specifically for the modern teacher, with examples and solutions to each and every roadblock that stands in the way of cooperative and student-centered learning.
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Good ideas but misleading
- By J. Frazier on 03-29-18
By: Jane Nelsen, and others
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The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
- How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
- By: Josh Shipp
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Written in Shipp's playfully authoritative, no-nonsense voice, The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans tells his story and unpacks practical strategies that can make a difference. Ultimately, it's not about shortcuts or magic words - as Shipp reminds us, it's about investing in kids and giving them the love, time, and support they need to thrive. And that means every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.
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Read it....then read it again!
- By R. Eichelberger on 11-07-17
By: Josh Shipp
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The Formula
- Unlocking the Secrets to Raising Highly Successful Children
- By: Ronald F. Ferguson, Tatsha Robertson
- Narrated by: Cynthia Farrell
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Formula: Unlocking the Secrets to Raising Highly Successful Children, Harvard economist Ronald Ferguson, named in a New York Times profile as the foremost expert on the US educational "achievement gap," along with award-winning journalist Tatsha Robertson, reveal an intriguing blueprint for helping children from all types of backgrounds become successful adults.
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would recommend
- By Marcia on 02-25-20
By: Ronald F. Ferguson, and others
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I Wish My Teacher Knew
- How One Question Can Change Everything for Our Kids
- By: Kyle Schwartz
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, third-grade teacher Kyle Schwartz asked her students to fill in the blank in this sentence: "I wish my teacher knew _____." The results astounded her. Some answers were humorous; others were heartbreaking; all were profoundly moving and enlightening. The results opened her eyes to the need for educators to understand the unique realities their students face in order to create an open, safe, and supportive place in the classroom. When Schwartz shared her experience online, #IWishMyTeacherKnew became an immediate worldwide viral phenomenon.
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Not worth the time
- By James M George on 06-29-20
By: Kyle Schwartz
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Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Became Parents
- By: Shannon Warden, Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Gary Chapman has helped millions prepare for marriage. Now let him prepare you for kids. Inside, Gary shares what he wishes he and his wife had known before having kids. For example: Children affect your time, your money, and your marriage - and that's just the beginning. With his trademark warmth, he offers practical advice on everything from potty training, to the importance of apologizing to your child, to keeping your marriage strong, all the while celebrating the great joy that children bring.
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Good tips
- By Alex Ilyaev on 03-25-19
By: Shannon Warden, and others
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The Importance of Being Little
- What Preschoolers Really Need from Grownups
- By: Erika Christakis
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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A bold challenge to the conventional wisdom about early childhood, with a pragmatic program to encourage parents and teachers to rethink how and where young children learn best by taking the child's eye view of the learning environment.
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Points out many problems; offers no real solution
- By K. Lynn on 08-06-18
By: Erika Christakis
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If I Have to Tell You One More Time
- The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling
- By: Amy McCready
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this invaluable audiobook, Amy McCready, founder of the popular online parenting course Positive Parenting Solutions, presents a nag-and-scream-free program for compassionately yet effectively, correcting your children's bad behavior. McCready draws on Adlerian psychology and Positive Discipline, which focuses on the central idea that every human being has a basic need to feel connected and empowered - children being no exception to the rule.
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Great book, will test
- By Jared on 05-21-15
By: Amy McCready
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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The New Dare to Discipline
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: Mike Trout
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Why are boundaries so important? Do children really want limits set on their behavior? Is it okay to spank my child, or will it lead him to hit others and become a violent person? Join the millions of caring parents who have found much-needed answers to their questions in the wisdom of parenting expert and family counselor Dr. James Dobson.
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Well written, and very easy to listen to!
- By jeff lukasik on 01-12-18
By: James C. Dobson
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The Me, Me, Me Epidemic
- A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World
- By: Amy McCready
- Narrated by: Margaret Strom
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Whenever Amy McCready mentions the "entitlement epidemic" to a group of parents, she is inevitably met with eye rolls, nodding heads, and loaded comments about affected children. It seems everywhere one looks, there are preschoolers who only behave in the grocery store for a treat, narcissistic teenagers posting selfies across all forms of social media, and adult children living off their parents. Parenting expert Amy McCready reveals in this book that the solution is to help kids develop healthy attitudes in life.
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Longer than it needs to be, condescending narration, but did have some good tidbits
- By Areeeee on 09-27-19
By: Amy McCready
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The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child
- By: Alan Kazdin
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Most child-behavior books are filled with advice that sounds reasonable, fits with what parents already believe about child-rearing, and isas Dr. Kazdin proves guaranteed to fail. The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child makes available to parents for the first time Dr. Kazdins proven program, one backed up by some of the most long-term and respected research devoted to any therapy for children.
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Same old same old
- By Amazon Customer on 10-26-10
By: Alan Kazdin
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The Dolphin Way
- A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids - without Turning into a Tiger
- By: Shimi Kang
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The audiobook makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability - is the dolphin way.
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Very easy way to understand complicated subject
- By Nhat on 11-05-18
By: Shimi Kang
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What listeners say about The Gift of Failure
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- jennifer Miller
- 09-24-16
A guidepost for parents and teachers
As a parent of three children and as a second grade teacher, I found this book was speaking to me. Every word echoed my own experiences as a parent. We have begun implementing many of these ideas at home and I have seen my 13 year old take some risks she would have avoided prior. I have also out some practices into practice in my classroom and I am seeing happier kids with more persistence and resilience. This is a book I recommend to all the parents in my classroom. If I could make it required reading, I would! Thank you Jessica!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Kim Jones
- 06-16-18
Every Parent should read this book!
This book needs to be at the top of every expecting mothers list and every parents Christmas list.
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- chris boutte
- 01-07-21
Must read for parents
I've worked with people who struggle with depression, anxiety, and addiction for years, and I see how many people struggle with a fear of failure. I used to have the same issue, but I eventually learned that failure is the key to improvement, resilience and success. So, when I came across this book from Jessica Lahey, I had to pick up a copy, and it was definitely worth it.
The book is primarily for parents, but teachers can benefit from this book as well. So many of us are afraid to let our kids fail in school, with relationships, and in life in general. What Lahey teaches us is that this is setting them up for failure when they finally reach the real world. As hard as it is to let our kids fail, we have to let them. As the adults, Lahey discusses how it's just our job to help get their wheels turning so they can be better critical thinkers while also developing autonomy.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Duggs
- 06-20-18
Wow! Truth! Please listen.
I have raised my own children and have been a teacher to hundreds of children. Since I read this book, I have been sharing it with family and friends on social media. It's a MUST READ. I found myself guilty of some of the actions that hinder children from taking responsibility for themselves, but I also felt confirmation for the things I have been doing "right." I will be recommending this book to the parents of my next class of children. It's easy to read and full of research that makes sense!
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- karla villarreal
- 11-03-18
The Best of the Best
Doable, put everything in perspective, works with our family with triplets age 9. So worth reading and listening to it. Thank you Jessica for sharing your wisdom!!
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- Sean Alminde
- 01-03-18
Must have for parents & teachers
must have for parents & teachers to have in their arsenal. I listened to the audio book & have the paperback as well & refer to both often
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- Rebecca J
- 06-28-19
Read it twice
Read it more than once. Maybe read it at the beginning of each new school year. It’s worth the time.
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- Bernhard Gildemeister
- 08-08-24
The author’s successful struggle to be true to her principles even it was difficult.
Loved the book! I am almost 67 years old, but I learnt things for myself, for my family, and for people I interact with regularly.
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- J. Kuck
- 03-25-21
Great for any style of parent
I encourage sometimes even demand age appropriate autonomy of my 2 kids since they were little. It’s not always easy, I worry about them when they struggle, and sometimes I cave. Holding my tongue and letting my kids fail forward is the hard for me. This book is a great reminder to stay the course as much as possible, with real examples of parent situations & results. Best of all the author is a realistic & self IDed imperfect parent herself.
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- me
- 03-31-16
Worth reading twice
I found this book to first cause me anxiety because it meant changing my parenting and teaching. Then I took a breath and realized this was an incredible opportunity to improve my methods and empower children and teens around me to become the adults I hope they will become.
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