See What You Made Me Do
The Dangers of Domestic Abuse That We Ignore, Explain Away, or Refuse to See
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Narrated by:
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Larissa Gallagher
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By:
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Jess Hill
About this listen
We fear dark alleys, when in truth, home is the most dangerous place for a woman. Of the 87,000 women killed globally in 2017, more than a third (30,000) were killed by an intimate partner, and another 20,000 were killed by a family member. These statistics tell us something that's almost impossible to grapple with: it's not the stranger in the dark women should fear, but the men they fall in love with.
See What You Made Me Do is not only a searing investigation, but also a dissection of how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system we trust to protect us. It carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blaming and challenges everything you thought you knew about psychological abuse and emotional abuse relationships, while shining a spotlight on domestic violence awareness and abuse awareness.
This is a book about love, abuse, and power. It's about turning our stubborn beliefs and assumptions inside out and confronting one of the most complex issues of our time. Through the eyes of survivors and perpetrators, Hill has wandered into the horrific underworld of domestic abuse. Now is the time for us to see what is hiding in plain sight.
Contains mature themes.
©2020 Jess Hill (P)2022 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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When They Call You a Terrorist is the essential audiobook for every conscientious American. From one of the cofounders of the Black Lives Matter movement comes a poetic audiobook memoir and reflection on humanity. Necessary and timely, Patrisse Cullors' story asks us to remember that protest in the interest of the most vulnerable comes from love.
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Everyone should listen!
- By Mary J. Bunker on 01-26-18
By: Patrisse Cullors, and others
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Angry White Men
- American Masculinity at the End of an Era
- By: Michael Kimmel
- Narrated by: Aaron Williamson
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the enduring legacies of the 2012 Presidential campaign was the demise of the white American male voter as a dominant force in the political landscape. On election night, after Obama was announced the winner, a distressed Bill O'Reilly lamented that he didn't live in "a traditional America anymore". He was joined by others who bellowed their grief on the talk radio airwaves, the traditional redoubt of angry white men. Why were they so angry?
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Interesting book; Wrong reader
- By Carolina A. Miranda on 05-02-18
By: Michael Kimmel
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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My Life Among the Serial Killers
- Inside the Minds of the World's Most Notorious Murderers
- By: Helen Morrison M.D., Harold Goldberg
- Narrated by: Helen Morrison
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Abridged
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Dr. Helen Morrison has profiled more than 80 serial killers around the world. What she has learned about them will shatter every assumption you've ever had about the most notorious killers known to man.
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Boring reader,boring writing
- By P. Minor on 02-03-08
By: Helen Morrison M.D., and others
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Men on Strike
- Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters
- By: Helen Smith PhD
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
American society has become anti-male. Men are sensing the backlash and are responding. They're dropping out of college, leaving the workforce, and avoiding marriage and fatherhood at alarming rates. The trend is so pronounced that a number of books have been written about this man-child phenomenon, concluding that men have taken a vacation from responsibility. But why should men participate in a system that seems to be increasingly stacked against them?
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Finally, someone said it!
- By Stephen Reid Kidd on 11-07-17
By: Helen Smith PhD
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
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5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
- Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
- By: Bill Eddy
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders - borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic - they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself.
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This book should be required reading.
- By JGM on 05-07-18
By: Bill Eddy
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To the End of June
- The Intimate Life of American Foster Care
- By: Cris Beam
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Who are the children of foster care? What, as a country, do we owe them? Cris Beam, a foster mother herself, spent five years immersed in the world of foster care looking into these questions and tracing firsthand stories. The result is To the End of June, an unforgettable portrait that takes us deep inside the lives of foster children in their search for a stable, loving family. Beam shows us the intricacies of growing up in the system - the back-and-forth with agencies, the rootless shuffling between homes, the emotionally charged tug between foster and birth parents.
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Good dissertation
- By Nim on 03-13-19
By: Cris Beam
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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The Story of Jane
- The Legendary Underground Feminist Abortion Service
- By: Laura Kaplan
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
First published in 1997, The Story of Jane recounts the evolution of Jane, the underground group in Chicago that performed abortion services before the procedure was legalized. An extraordinary history by one of its members, this is the first account of Jane's evolution, the conflicts within the group, and the impact its work had both on the women it helped and the members themselves.
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Will we need Jane again?
- By kate2010 on 10-28-20
By: Laura Kaplan
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The Anatomy of Motive
- The FBI's Legendary Mindhunter Explores the Key to Understanding and Catching Violent Criminals
- By: John Douglas, Mark Olshaker
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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The Anatomy of Motive offers a dramatic, insightful look at the development and evolution of the criminal mind. The famed former chief of the FBI's Investigative Support Unit, John Douglas was the pioneer of modern behavioral profiling of serial criminals. Working again with acclaimed novelist, journalist, and filmmaker Mark Olshaker, and using cases from his own fabled career as examples, Douglas takes us further than ever before into the dark corners of the minds of arsonists, hijackers, bombers, poisoners, serial killers, and mass murderers.
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Smuckers jelly narration. Still good.
- By Thad Ames on 11-07-17
By: John Douglas, and others
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If you're a liberal hater - this book's for you
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Excellent Audiobook - Suitable for Anyone
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
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Award-winning filmmaker Tanya Selvaratnam bravely recounts the intimate abuse she suffered from former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, using her story as a prism to examine the domestic violence crisis plaguing America. Sensitive and nuanced, Assume Nothing details how Tanya’s relationship devolved into abuse, how she found the strength to leave - risking her career, reputation, and life - and how she reclaimed her freedom and her voice.
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Assume Nothing
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Kelly Sundberg’s husband, Caleb, was a funny, warm, supportive man and a wonderful father to their little boy Reed. He was also vengeful and violent. But Sundberg did not know that when she fell in love, and for years told herself he would get better. It took a decade for her to ultimately accept that the partnership she desired could not work with such a broken man. In her remarkable book, she offers an intimate record of the joys and terrors that accompanied her long, difficult awakening, and presents a haunting, heartbreaking glimpse into why women remain too long in dangerous relationships.
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THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! Making Sense of Toxic Abusive People is a must-read for anyone looking to understand and make sense of the dynamics between abusive people and those they abuse. Written from a lifetime’s worth of experience and involvement this book provides insights into how abusers manipulate their victims and keep them under control through lies, corruption, and deceit. Who this book IS for: - Honest and Real people - Willing to face and deal with the awful-truth - Those who truly want to understand - Earnest individuals seeking freedom - Courageous persons looking to ...
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Everyone should read this book
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Carrie wants a normal life. Carrie Lawrence doesn’t need a happily ever after. She’ll just settle for “after.” After a decade of helping her sister hide her victims. After a lifetime of lies. She just wants to be safe, boring, and not trekking through the woods at night with a dead body wrapped in a carpet. Becca wants to get away with murder. Becca Lawrence doesn’t believe in happily ever after because she’s already happy. She’s gotten away with murder for a decade and has blackmailed her sister into helping her hide the evidence - what more could a girl want?
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Worth it for the narrator, not much more
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
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Crazy Love
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Leslie Morgan Steiner met the love of her life at age 22, soon after graduating from Harvard and starting her first job at Seventeen magazine in New York. She fell for his self-deprecating wit and street smarts - and especially his unabashed worship of her. They married and spent four years together. At first Leslie felt like the woman of his dreams. Then she discovered her husband had been beaten as a child, taught by his parents that intimacy and rage danced together.
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Racist
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The Emotional Incest Syndrome
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Here, Dr. Patricia Love offers adults real hope - and help - in overcoming the hurtful legacy of being a chosen child. Based on proven therapeutic techniques and using real-life case histories, her total program of recovery will help you identify the signs of emotional incest, confront your parents - and your past - with love and understanding, disentangle your life from theirs, and create a positive relationship with your parents - and your own children.
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part one yes, part two absolutely not
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Everything I Never Dreamed
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Ruth M. Glenn wasn’t surprised the first time her husband beat her. She was hurt and disappointed but after a childhood in a broken and violent home, she was not surprised. After all, this was just the way things were, right? It was only after she lay bleeding in a carwash parking lot, after being shot three times by him, that Glenn resolved—if she managed to survive—to spend the rest of her life standing up to domestic violence.
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he incredible story of survival and thriving after domestic violence.
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Women We Buried, Women We Burned
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Snyder was eight years old when her mother died, and her distraught father thrust the family into an evangelical, cult-like existence halfway across the country. Furiously rebellious, she was expelled from school and home at age sixteen. Living out of her car and relying on strangers, Rachel found herself masquerading as an adult, talking her way into college, and eventually traveling the globe.
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Excellent!
- By mindovermatter65 on 06-18-23
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Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them
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Is this the way love is supposed to feel? Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave? Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy? Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments? Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you? If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist. In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward helps you understand your man's destructive pattern and the part you play in it.
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FANTASTIC!!
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What listeners say about See What You Made Me Do
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- Lisa Durand
- 01-11-24
Read this book!!!
Finally! This was the most validating and thorough book describing the nightmare I went through.
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- harmonyszoo
- 03-19-24
Fantastic research
Full of really important research. I especially liked how she connected colonialism and patriarchy/misogyny/domestic violence towards women and children.
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-18-24
Well researched, well written. Invaluable read!
I love that the author included accounts, statistics, and models from across the globe. She amalgamates a complex topic beautifully in a digestible and understandable format.
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- jenna
- 08-13-22
This should be required reading for everyone
This book is educational, interesting, and very important. See What You Made Me Do and The Gift of Fear should be required reading for everyone.
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- b
- 09-25-24
Gripping, Enlightening, and Gut-Wrenchingly Horrific
It's still so baffling (and a true indictment on society's failure) that so many people (particularly people in positions of power/authority) are still so ignorant regarding domestic abuse. Books such as this one and Lundy's "Why does he do that" should be required reading for every cop, judge, custody evaluator, and anyone else in positions that involve making decisions regarding abuse cases.
This is never any more clear than when you hear the horrific views spewed by people like the psychologist and custody evaluator discussed in chapter 9 of this book, contrasted against the stories of the victims they sent back to their abusers and isolated from those trying to protect them. The views so comfortably held by these people churn my stomach even worse than some of the abusers.
Great book. Definitely recommend. I do, however recommended caution if you're not in the right headspace to read/listen to brutally candid discussions of abuse.
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- Sunshine
- 08-28-24
Very disappointed!
I was enjoying this book until the narrator said that our former President Trump fit into the category of these abusers. He may have been like this in the past, but I’m choosing to believe he has wanted to change for the better. I was not thinking this book was going to go political. For this matter, I’m choosing to not finish it.
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- She Wrecks
- 01-20-23
grossly detailed descriptions of abuse
when are we going to realize that we don't need to perversely describe details of abuses endured? at least give us a warning and tell us how far to skip ahead.
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