
See What You Made Me Do
The Dangers of Domestic Abuse That We Ignore, Explain Away, or Refuse to See
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Narrated by:
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Larissa Gallagher
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By:
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Jess Hill
About this listen
We fear dark alleys, when in truth, home is the most dangerous place for a woman. Of the 87,000 women killed globally in 2017, more than a third (30,000) were killed by an intimate partner, and another 20,000 were killed by a family member. These statistics tell us something that's almost impossible to grapple with: it's not the stranger in the dark women should fear, but the men they fall in love with.
See What You Made Me Do is not only a searing investigation, but also a dissection of how that violence can be enabled and reinforced by the judicial system we trust to protect us. It carefully dismantles the flawed logic of victim-blaming and challenges everything you thought you knew about psychological abuse and emotional abuse relationships, while shining a spotlight on domestic violence awareness and abuse awareness.
This is a book about love, abuse, and power. It's about turning our stubborn beliefs and assumptions inside out and confronting one of the most complex issues of our time. Through the eyes of survivors and perpetrators, Hill has wandered into the horrific underworld of domestic abuse. Now is the time for us to see what is hiding in plain sight.
Contains mature themes.
©2020 Jess Hill (P)2022 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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When They Call You a Terrorist is the essential audiobook for every conscientious American. From one of the cofounders of the Black Lives Matter movement comes a poetic audiobook memoir and reflection on humanity. Necessary and timely, Patrisse Cullors' story asks us to remember that protest in the interest of the most vulnerable comes from love.
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Everyone should listen!
- By Mary J. Bunker on 01-26-18
By: Patrisse Cullors, and others
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Angry White Men
- American Masculinity at the End of an Era
- By: Michael Kimmel
- Narrated by: Aaron Williamson
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the enduring legacies of the 2012 Presidential campaign was the demise of the white American male voter as a dominant force in the political landscape. On election night, after Obama was announced the winner, a distressed Bill O'Reilly lamented that he didn't live in "a traditional America anymore". He was joined by others who bellowed their grief on the talk radio airwaves, the traditional redoubt of angry white men. Why were they so angry?
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Interesting book; Wrong reader
- By Carolina A. Miranda on 05-02-18
By: Michael Kimmel
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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My Life Among the Serial Killers
- Inside the Minds of the World's Most Notorious Murderers
- By: Helen Morrison M.D., Harold Goldberg
- Narrated by: Helen Morrison
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Abridged
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Dr. Helen Morrison has profiled more than 80 serial killers around the world. What she has learned about them will shatter every assumption you've ever had about the most notorious killers known to man.
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Boring reader,boring writing
- By P. Minor on 02-03-08
By: Helen Morrison M.D., and others
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Men on Strike
- Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters
- By: Helen Smith PhD
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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American society has become anti-male. Men are sensing the backlash and are responding. They're dropping out of college, leaving the workforce, and avoiding marriage and fatherhood at alarming rates. The trend is so pronounced that a number of books have been written about this man-child phenomenon, concluding that men have taken a vacation from responsibility. But why should men participate in a system that seems to be increasingly stacked against them?
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Finally, someone said it!
- By Stephen Reid Kidd on 11-07-17
By: Helen Smith PhD
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
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To the End of June
- The Intimate Life of American Foster Care
- By: Cris Beam
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Who are the children of foster care? What, as a country, do we owe them? Cris Beam, a foster mother herself, spent five years immersed in the world of foster care looking into these questions and tracing firsthand stories. The result is To the End of June, an unforgettable portrait that takes us deep inside the lives of foster children in their search for a stable, loving family. Beam shows us the intricacies of growing up in the system - the back-and-forth with agencies, the rootless shuffling between homes, the emotionally charged tug between foster and birth parents.
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Good dissertation
- By Nim on 03-13-19
By: Cris Beam
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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The Story of Jane
- The Legendary Underground Feminist Abortion Service
- By: Laura Kaplan
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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First published in 1997, The Story of Jane recounts the evolution of Jane, the underground group in Chicago that performed abortion services before the procedure was legalized. An extraordinary history by one of its members, this is the first account of Jane's evolution, the conflicts within the group, and the impact its work had both on the women it helped and the members themselves.
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Will we need Jane again?
- By kate2010 on 10-28-20
By: Laura Kaplan
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The Anatomy of Motive
- The FBI's Legendary Mindhunter Explores the Key to Understanding and Catching Violent Criminals
- By: John Douglas, Mark Olshaker
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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The Anatomy of Motive offers a dramatic, insightful look at the development and evolution of the criminal mind. The famed former chief of the FBI's Investigative Support Unit, John Douglas was the pioneer of modern behavioral profiling of serial criminals. Working again with acclaimed novelist, journalist, and filmmaker Mark Olshaker, and using cases from his own fabled career as examples, Douglas takes us further than ever before into the dark corners of the minds of arsonists, hijackers, bombers, poisoners, serial killers, and mass murderers.
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Smuckers jelly narration. Still good.
- By Thad Ames on 11-07-17
By: John Douglas, and others
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Men Explain Things to Me
- By: Rebecca Solnit
- Narrated by: Luci Christian Bell
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In Men Explain Things to Me, Rebecca Solnit takes on the conversations between men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don't. The ultimate problem, she shows in her comic, scathing essay, is female self-doubt and the silencing of women. Rebecca Solnit is the author of fourteen books about civil society, popular power, uprisings, art, environment, place, pleasure, politics, hope, and memory, most recently The Faraway Nearby, a book on empathy and storytelling.
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Great read - horrible performance
- By Denise Johnson on 03-26-15
By: Rebecca Solnit
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Could you or someone you know be married to a sociopath? The author of this book was, but it took her twenty years to figure it out. She wrote this book to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to other people. Onna thought the classmate she married was her Prince Charming—kind, honest, loving, and intellectually vibrant—but she was wrong. That “spark” she felt wasn’t true love, it was a trap—custom designed to ensnare her. Onna’s repayment for investing twenty years into her marriage and unwittingly providing her husband with a façade of normalcy was ongoing gaslighting ...
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Coercive control will see an abuser dominate their victim's life, from the food they eat, the people they see, the places they can go, and the things they can say. A controlling partner, through fear and intimidation, will seek to ensure their victim is subdued, to the point of accepting any and all abuse that's fired their way.
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Good book - author needs some gender empathy
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Kelly Sundberg’s husband, Caleb, was a funny, warm, supportive man and a wonderful father to their little boy Reed. He was also vengeful and violent. But Sundberg did not know that when she fell in love, and for years told herself he would get better. It took a decade for her to ultimately accept that the partnership she desired could not work with such a broken man. In her remarkable book, she offers an intimate record of the joys and terrors that accompanied her long, difficult awakening, and presents a haunting, heartbreaking glimpse into why women remain too long in dangerous relationships.
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A very powerful book with fantastic narration
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When Dad Hurts Mom
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
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Evan Stark, founder of one of America's first battered women's shelters, shows how "domestic violence" is neither primarily domestic nor necessarily violent, but a pattern of controlling behaviors more akin to terrorism and hostage-taking. Drawing on court records, interviews, and FBI statistics, Stark details coercive strategies that men use to deny women their very personhood, from "beeper games" to food logs to micromanaging dress, speech, sexual activity, and work.
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All so Familiar
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Coercive control will see an abuser dominate their victim's life, from the food they eat, the people they see, the places they can go, and the things they can say. A controlling partner, through fear and intimidation, will seek to ensure their victim is subdued, to the point of accepting any and all abuse that's fired their way.
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Good book - author needs some gender empathy
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By: Lauren Kozlowski, and others
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Kelly Sundberg’s husband, Caleb, was a funny, warm, supportive man and a wonderful father to their little boy Reed. He was also vengeful and violent. But Sundberg did not know that when she fell in love, and for years told herself he would get better. It took a decade for her to ultimately accept that the partnership she desired could not work with such a broken man. In her remarkable book, she offers an intimate record of the joys and terrors that accompanied her long, difficult awakening, and presents a haunting, heartbreaking glimpse into why women remain too long in dangerous relationships.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
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The Emotionally Abusive Relationship
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The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world's leading experts on the subject, shows us what emotional abuse is and what to do about it.
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Amazing SELF GROWTH
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When Loving Him Is Hurting You
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You fell in love with him. But over time you've come to realize he's in love with himself - and you feel trapped. His needs, his problems, and his plans always seem to take precedence over yours. Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, offers a guide to help you identify signs of narcissism, understand how your loved one's issues are affecting you, and prepare a biblical game plan for freeing yourself to live courageously in light of God's love.
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The book I so desperately needed to read
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
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Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves
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Little Red Riding Hood's encounter with a cunning wolf is a metaphor laden with insight and warning that everyone should heed and understand. Why? Because it’s a metaphor for an unwitting relationship with a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. Regardless of the label, these veiled exploiters are far more common and dangerous to your emotional, financial, and personal well-being than most of us realize. To understand the danger they pose to you and those you love, come along for this retelling of the classic fairy tale and O.N. Ward’s analysis to learn about the prevalence of these ...
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Highly Recommended
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Emotional Vampires, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition
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Emotional Vampires will help you cope effectively with the people in your life that confound you, confuse you, and seem to sap every ounce of your energy. Best-selling author Dr. Al Bernstein shows you how to recognize each vampire type - antisocial, histrionic, narcissists, obsessive-compulsives, paranoids - and deal with them effectively. He uses many examples from the latest news headlines, which will help you distinguish between the types and deepen your understanding of each one.
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Great book!!
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Making Sense of Toxic Abusive People
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THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! Making Sense of Toxic Abusive People is a must-read for anyone looking to understand and make sense of the dynamics between abusive people and those they abuse. Written from a lifetime’s worth of experience and involvement this book provides insights into how abusers manipulate their victims and keep them under control through lies, corruption, and deceit. Who this book IS for: - Honest and Real people - Willing to face and deal with the awful-truth - Those who truly want to understand - Earnest individuals seeking freedom - Courageous persons looking to ...
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Fantastic Breakdown of a Narcissist
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Enough Is Enough
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Dr. David Clarke, a licensed psychologist specializing in marital therapy for more than 30 years, wants to help you make the break from your abusive relationship. Whether or not divorce is on the horizon is beside the point. You need to get out, so you can sort it out. Dr. Clarke understands this journey won’t be easy. That’s why he provides a step-by-step plan that includes practical advice, as well as biblical guidance. Let this audiobook help you get away from your abuser, so you can give your marriage the best chance to succeed.
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I was so excited
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If Only I'd Known!
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Narcissistic abuse creates a tidal wave of confusion, hypervigilance, and overthinking. You have trouble thinking clearly, remembering things, or taking in new information. And because these changes are happening to you, you begin to wonder: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make this relationship work? Am I fundamentally broken? And that's exactly how narcissistic abuse works—it happens so subtly that you believe the insecurities you're experiencing are "you" instead of "what's happening" to you. This audiobook covers unique information related to narcissistic abuse.
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This book is amazing.
- By Juan Servin on 01-03-24
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A Family Secret
- My Shocking True Story of Surviving a Childhood in Hell
- By: Maureen Wood
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Story
Abused from the age of eight by her older brother and then her step-father, Maureen Wood quickly became numb to the constant suffering. But Maureen’s world crumbled when her own mother started to abuse her too. A Family Secret is the harrowing true story of how one little girl survived sickening abuse by the people who should have loved her most and how an innocent baby finally saved her.
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Bravery in Spades
- By Mama of Roses on 03-22-21
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Is It Abuse?
- A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims
- By: Darby Strickland
- Narrated by: Sarah Zimmerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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For years, biblical counselor Darby Strickland has served women in oppressive marriages. Now she writes to anyone who wants to help, regardless of their level of experience. You will learn how to identify the toxic entitlement that drives abusive behavior and to better understand its impact on victims - including children who are raised in a home with domestic abuse. Ultimately, you will become equipped to provide wise and Christ-centered counsel and to empower and advocate for victims while navigating the complex dynamics of oppression in a marriage.
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A must read for church leaders
- By Amazon Customer on 07-20-22
By: Darby Strickland
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The Nice Girl Syndrome
- Stop Being Manipulated and Abused - and Start Standing Up for Yourself
- By: Beverly Engel
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
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Are you too nice for your own good? Do family members manipulate you? Do coworkers take advantage of you? If this sounds familiar, listen to The Nice Girl Syndrome. In this breakthrough guide, renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships, can show you how to take control of your life and take care of yourself.
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The examples
- By Nina M on 02-26-25
By: Beverly Engel
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Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
- Narcissistic Relationship Recovery, Book 1
- By: Lauren Kozlowski
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Overall
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If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
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Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
- By Alesia Braund on 11-18-20
By: Lauren Kozlowski
What listeners say about See What You Made Me Do
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- charjones
- 03-27-25
Great for all to read
Great book for DV. Americans and Australians. Lots of stories about real life. Real stories.
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- Lisa Durand
- 01-11-24
Read this book!!!
Finally! This was the most validating and thorough book describing the nightmare I went through.
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- harmonyszoo
- 03-19-24
Fantastic research
Full of really important research. I especially liked how she connected colonialism and patriarchy/misogyny/domestic violence towards women and children.
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-18-24
Well researched, well written. Invaluable read!
I love that the author included accounts, statistics, and models from across the globe. She amalgamates a complex topic beautifully in a digestible and understandable format.
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- jenna
- 08-13-22
This should be required reading for everyone
This book is educational, interesting, and very important. See What You Made Me Do and The Gift of Fear should be required reading for everyone.
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- b
- 09-25-24
Gripping, Enlightening, and Gut-Wrenchingly Horrific
It's still so baffling (and a true indictment on society's failure) that so many people (particularly people in positions of power/authority) are still so ignorant regarding domestic abuse. Books such as this one and Lundy's "Why does he do that" should be required reading for every cop, judge, custody evaluator, and anyone else in positions that involve making decisions regarding abuse cases.
This is never any more clear than when you hear the horrific views spewed by people like the psychologist and custody evaluator discussed in chapter 9 of this book, contrasted against the stories of the victims they sent back to their abusers and isolated from those trying to protect them. The views so comfortably held by these people churn my stomach even worse than some of the abusers.
Great book. Definitely recommend. I do, however recommended caution if you're not in the right headspace to read/listen to brutally candid discussions of abuse.
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- She Wrecks
- 01-20-23
grossly detailed descriptions of abuse
when are we going to realize that we don't need to perversely describe details of abuses endured? at least give us a warning and tell us how far to skip ahead.
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