
Why Can't I Just Leave
A Guide to Waking Up and Walking Out of a Pathological Love Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Sheri Saginor
About this listen
More than 60 million people have been in a pathological love relationship with someone who has an impaired conscience. Are you one of them?
Do you feel fiercely loyal toward your partner, although your partner has put you through unspeakable acts of cruelty and betrayal?
Has your partner lied so much that sometimes you aren't sure you know what's real or who your partner really is?
Have you tried to break off the relationship, yet feel powerless to stop your partner from walking in and out of your life?
Do you alternate between believing that your partner is the love of your life and questioning your sanity or even feeling your life may be in danger?
Using the stories of survivors and social psychological research on compliance, cognitive dissonance, and thought control, Why Can't I Just Leave? explains how relationships with pathological partners can create impossible dilemmas that trap you in a distorted dream state and hijack your thoughts and emotions.
Learn what those who are conscience-impaired don't want you to know and find out how to wake up and walk out of your partner's invisible prison forever.
Foreword by Sandra L. Brown, MA, author of Women Who Love Psychopaths.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Kristen Milstead (P)2022 Kristen MilsteadListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Kristen has a straightforward way of explaining the complex topic of narcissistic abuse. Her book shares both insights from her personal experiences and a clear and compassionate framework for understanding the complex ways that ostensibly loving relationships can morph into something utterly corrosive and dangerous." (Dan Partland, Emmy-award winning director of UNFIT: The Psychology of Donald Trump)
"The truth is often hard to face. Getting free from an emotionally abusive relationship and facing that truth will be the hardest thing you ever do. This book is packed with been-in-the-trenches wisdom and the key to your freedom." (Tracy A. Malone, founder of Narcissist Abuse Support, author, and coach)
"With the courageous use of her own intimate relationship, Kristen Milstead provides both an exploration and explanation of every aspect of "pathological love relationships." . . . Every aspect is covered in both practical and theoretical detail, as well as by example." (David M. Reiss, MD, psychiatrist and coauthor of The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump)
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By: Nova Gibson
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Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
- Narcissistic Relationship Recovery, Book 1
- By: Lauren Kozlowski
- Narrated by: Stephanie Murphy
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
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Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
- By Alesia Braund on 11-18-20
By: Lauren Kozlowski
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Run Like Hell
- A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds
- By: Nadine Macaluso
- Narrated by: Nadine Macaluso
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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At age twenty-two, Nadine married Jordan Belfort, the nefarious stockbroker portrayed in the Hollywood blockbuster The Wolf of Wall Street. Their marriage began as a fairy tale, but once they were bonded, Jordan’s “mask” began to slip, and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine’s nightmare. The horrific relationship gave Nadine the inspiration to become a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, and complex PTSD.
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Good for Beginners
- By R A on 03-29-25
By: Nadine Macaluso
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30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships
- By: Adelyn Birch
- Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
- Length: 1 hr and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Identifying covert emotional manipulation is tricky. You sense something is wrong, but you can't quite put your finger on the problem. This powerful book will reveal to you if manipulation is at play in your relationships. It will open your eyes. You will learn 30 tactics manipulators use to get what they want. You will also learn to spot the warning signs within yourself that expose covert manipulation is taking place, even if you can't identify the specific tactics being used.
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This book can change your life!
- By Cat O. on 04-04-18
By: Adelyn Birch
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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What You Need to Know about Narcissistic Abuse: 2-in-1 Book Bundle Featuring Start Here and Out of the Fog
- Understanding Narcissists, Sociopaths, or Other Types of Toxic People in Your Life
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 17 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In this box set, you get the best-selling book Out of the Fog, and you get Start Here included as a bonus. The audiobook Out of the Fog will help you get out of the of confusion and into the clarity that you are looking for... Start Here will help you understand all of the concepts, terminology, and FAQs surrounding narcissistic abuse.
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A Must Read For Survivors Of Narcissism!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-12-20
By: Dana Morningstar
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The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Annette Romano
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the best-selling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life. In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the outside stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships.
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Caution is needed
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-19
By: Patricia Evans
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Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency, Trauma Bond & Complex PTSD
- The Complete Guide to Overcome the Scars of Emotional Abuse, Transform Pain into Power & Rebuild a Stronger You
- By: Madison Bright
- Narrated by: Greer Gray
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Haunted by the ghosts of toxic relationships? Struggling with a crippling emotional hangover after escaping narcissistic abuse or manipulation? You are not alone. The stark reality is that toxic relationships can do more than just leave emotional scars—they can fundamentally alter your perception of love, trust, and self-worth. The solution? Arm yourself with the tools, strategies, and insights to heal, reclaim your autonomy, and build relationships that celebrate your true self.
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Everything in each chapter
- By Anonymous User on 01-15-24
By: Madison Bright
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare
- How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
- By: Shahida Arabi
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 19 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual.
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Finally
- By zero on 12-08-16
By: Shahida Arabi
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When Love Is a Lie
- Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda
- By: Zari L Ballard
- Narrated by: Lisa Bunting
- Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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When our partner is a narcissist, only those who've actually experienced the madness will ever understand what we're going through. When Love Is a Lie is a straight-up, tell-all book about narcissism in relationships that skips the clinical bullshit to focus solely on the personal experience. A narrative that holds nothing back, Zari Ballard's story will educate, enlighten, and empower you to evaluate (and fully understand) the mind-boggling dysfunction in your own relationship.
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Greatfull to have found this!
- By Joy on 03-13-17
By: Zari L Ballard
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Husband, Liar, Sociopath
- How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned
- By: O.N.WARD
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Could you or someone you know be married to a sociopath? The author of this book was, but it took her twenty years to figure it out. She wrote this book to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to other people. Onna thought the classmate she married was her Prince Charming—kind, honest, loving, and intellectually vibrant—but she was wrong. That “spark” she felt wasn’t true love, it was a trap—custom designed to ensnare her. Onna’s repayment for investing twenty years into her marriage and unwittingly providing her husband with a façade of normalcy was ongoing gaslighting ...
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All so Familiar
- By Heat on 11-25-24
By: O.N.WARD
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
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Wake up call !
- By sashy on 08-18-16
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The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
- Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
- By: Debbie Mirza
- Narrated by: Debbie Mirza
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
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This book CHANGED MY LIFE!
- By Mojo on 12-19-18
By: Debbie Mirza
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Why Can't I Let You Go?
- Break Free from Trauma Bonds, End Toxic Relationships, and Develop Healthy Attachments
- By: Michelle Skeen, Kelly Skeen
- Narrated by: Candace Joice
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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If you experienced physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or abandonment as a child, you may struggle with unhealthy relationships as an adult. Hurtful attachments with our caregivers in early childhood can lay the foundation for toxic relationships. Those experiences can even affect the way we handle conflict, our feelings toward sex, and our expectations of our partners. But this doesn't mean you can't change. This book will help you gain a greater awareness of the trauma bonds that prevent you from getting the love, safety, and security you desire.
By: Michelle Skeen, and others
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Trauma Bonding: Detoxing and Healing From an Abusive Narcissistic Relationship
- By: William Avers
- Narrated by: Eric Burr
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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William Avers takes us on an honest and revealing journey that will help us understand trauma bonding and its multiple faces, from unhealthy attachment to the normalization of the abuse to the concealment and later denial of the truth. William Avers explores the human condition without prejudice or bias because traumatic bonds may occur to anyone. Contrary to most people’s belief that abusers prey on the weak and foolish, abusers also prey on capable and attractive people because they seek the challenge too.
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Broad Generalization Coupled with Useful Information
- By L. Lucas on 03-02-24
By: William Avers
What listeners say about Why Can't I Just Leave
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Keri m obrien
- 11-18-23
Amazing book
This is the most helpful and informative book on narcissism that I have read. And I've read ALOT. this one book has helped me more than allll my studying.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-18-22
Invaluable Information and Guidance
A therapist recommended this book to me because I’m curious about personality disorders such as narcissism, sociopathy, and psychopathy.
The opening scene, which describes a boyfriend’s sociopathic behavior and his partner’s horrified reaction, drew me in immediately. I just had to find out if and how she’d escape this relationship. But the book is much more than a story of one woman’s experience with a conscience-impaired abuser. Quotes from victims, researchers, and therapists add their perspectives and insights.
I prefer listening rather than reading, so I got the audiobook version. Highly recommended.
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- elaina anderson
- 05-04-24
clarity
If you are in or think your in a narcissistic relationship stop looking fir a book to help you out!!!! you found it it's this one!
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- T. L. MCCUTCHEON
- 11-15-24
It's my story too!! Wow
My experience's were all tthroughout the chapters. I could completely relate to the book in its entirety! I would definitely recommend this book highly.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-01-22
Finally
This was it… the final piece I needed to leave for good. Thank you so much
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1 person found this helpful
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- ShipLair
- 10-03-22
Best Book Ever on This Subject
This is the best audiobook I've ever listened to on this subject. It strikes the perfect balance between the author's own experience, stories from other victims/survivors, and the latest research on pathological love relationships. The audiobook also comes with a downloadable PDF with additional info, including a glossary of terms and a resource page.
But what distinguishes this book from others I’ve read is that it gives you specific steps to get out of the relationship when you're ready.
The writing and the narration are both excellent. If you're in a relationship with someone exhibiting narcissistic or sociopathic behavior, if you care about someone who's being abused by their partner, or if you're just curious about this subject, this audiobook is for you.
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- Tammy
- 06-27-23
A must read
This is an amazing book!!! Helped me sort out my feelings, help me understand why I’m making the choices I’m making and struggling. Definitely going to read again. Positive and life changing
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- cathy
- 12-25-24
Too Much Word Filler
Forget about the word filler and repetitive history. Bored me to death before I got to the authors lesson.
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