Selfless
The Social Creation of “You”
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Narrated by:
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Aaron Goodson
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By:
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Brian Lowery
About this listen
Social psychologist and Stanford professor Brian Lowery presents a provocative, powerful theory of identity, arguing that there is no essential "self"—our selves are social creations of those with whom we interact—exploring what that means for who we can be and who we allow others to be.
There’s nothing we spend more time with, but understand less, than ourselves. You’ve been with yourself every waking moment of your life. But who—or, rather, what—are you? In Selfless, Brian Lowery argues for the radical idea that the “self” as we know it—that “voice in your head”—is a social construct, created in our relationships and social interactions. We are unique because our individual pattern of relationships is unique. We change because our relationships change. Your self isn’t just you, it’s all around you.
Lowery uses this research-driven perspective of selfhood to explore questions of inequity, race, gender, politics, and power structures, transforming our perceptions of how the world is and how it could be. His theory offers insight into how powerful people manage their environment in sophisticated, often unconscious, ways to maintain the status quo; explains our competing drives for deep social connection and personal freedom; and answers profound, personal questions such as: Why has my sense of self evolved over time? Why do I sometimes stop short of changes that I want to make in life?
In Selfless, Lowery persuasively breaks down common assumptions and beliefs; his insights are humbling. Despite what many may think, we aren’t islands unto ourselves; we are the creation of the many hands that touch us. We don’t just exist in communities, we are created and shaped by them. Our highs and lows are not only our own but belong to others as well. By recognizing that we are products of relationships—from fleeting transactions to deep associations—we shatter the myth of individualism and free ourselves to make our lives and the world accordingly.
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Moral Tribes
- Emotion, Reason, and the Gap Between Us and Them
- By: Joshua Greene
- Narrated by: Mel Foster
- Length: 14 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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A pathbreaking neuroscientist reveals how our social instincts turn Me into Us, but turn Us against Them - and what we can do about it. The great dilemma of our shrinking world is simple: never before have those we disagree with been so present in our lives. The more globalization dissolves national borders, the more clearly we see that human beings are deeply divided on moral lines - about everything from tax codes to sexual practices to energy consumption - and that, when we really disagree, our emotions turn positively tribal.
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Good Science, Bad Philosophy
- By Jacob on 10-27-16
By: Joshua Greene
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Good Without God
- What a Billion Nonreligious People Do Believe
- By: Greg Epstein
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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A provocative and positive response to Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and other New Atheists, Good Without God makes a bold claim for what nonbelievers do share and believe. Epstein's Good Without God provides a constructive, challenging response to these manifestos by getting to the heart of Humanism and its positive belief in tolerance, community, morality, and good without having to rely on the guidance of a higher being.
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Speaker sounds too robotic
- By Lisa S. on 08-27-21
By: Greg Epstein
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The Mind Club
- Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters
- By: Daniel M. Wegner, Kurt Gray
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Nothing seems more real than the minds of other people. When you consider what your boss is thinking or whether your spouse is happy, you are admitting them into the "mind club". It's easy to assume other humans can think and feel, but what about a cow, a computer, a corporation? What kinds of minds do they have? Daniel M. Wegner and Kurt Gray are award-winning psychologists who have discovered that minds - while incredibly important - are a matter of perception.
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Who is the self in me? Am I part of something bigger?
- By Philomath on 03-24-16
By: Daniel M. Wegner, and others
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Living the Secular Life
- New Answers to Old Questions
- By: Phil Zuckerman
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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A guidebook for living a life without religion, combining sociological insight and personal inspiration. Over the last 25 years, "no religion" has become the fastest growing religion in the United States. Around the world, hundreds of millions of people have turned away from the traditional faiths of the past and embraced a secular - or nonreligious - life, generating societies vastly less religious than at any other time in human history.
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Anecdotal based approach for understanding
- By Gary on 12-30-14
By: Phil Zuckerman
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The Transgender Teen
- A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens
- By: Stephanie A. Brill, Lisa Kenney
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
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Is it just a phase, a fad, or a real issue with your teen? This comprehensive guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising a teenager who may be transgender, gender-variant, or gender-fluid. Covering extensive research and with many personal interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the author covers pressing concerns relating to physical and emotional development, social and school pressures, medical options, and family communications.
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Good information at its core
- By Jeff on 05-22-19
By: Stephanie A. Brill, and others
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Why Smart People Hurt
- A Guide for the Bright, the Sensitive, and the Creative
- By: Eric Maisel
- Narrated by: Seth Podowitz
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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The challenges smart and creative people encounter - from scientific researchers and genius award winners to best-selling novelists, Broadway actors, high-powered attorneys, and academics - often include anxiety, overthinking, mania, sadness, and despair. In Why Smart People Hurt, natural psychology specialist and creativity coach Dr. Eric Maisel draws on his many years of work with the best and the brightest to pinpoint these often devastating challenges and offer solutions based on the groundbreaking principles and practices of natural psychology.
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Stunningly Unintelligent
- By john burke on 05-22-21
By: Eric Maisel
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Cool
- How the Brain's Hidden Quest for Cool Drives Our Economy and Shapes Our World
- By: Steven Quartz, Anette Asp
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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In Cool, the neuroscientist and philosopher Steven Quartz and the political scientist Anette Asp bring together the latest findings in brain science, economics, and evolutionary biology to form a provocative theory of consumerism, revealing how the brain's "social calculator" and an instinct to rebel are the crucial missing links in understanding the motivations behind our spending habits.
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Some Useful Ideas
- By Carson on 07-20-17
By: Steven Quartz, and others
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You Are Now Less Dumb
- How to Conquer Mob Mentality, How to Buy Happiness, and All the Other Ways to Outsmart Yourself
- By: David McRaney
- Narrated by: Don Hagen
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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You Are Now Less Dumb is grounded in the idea that we all believe ourselves to be objective observers of reality - except we’re not. But that's okay, because our delusions keep us sane. Expanding on this premise, McRaney provides eye-opening analyses of 15 more ways we fool ourselves every day. This smart and highly entertaining audiobook will be wowing listeners for years to come.
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Not a lot of guidance
- By A. Yoshida on 02-08-14
By: David McRaney
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The Self Illusion
- Why There Is No "You" Inside Your Head
- By: Bruce Hood
- Narrated by: Bruce Hood
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The Self Illusion provides a fascinating examination of how the latest science shows that our individual concept of a self is in fact an illusion. Most of us believe that we possess a self - an internal individual who resides inside our bodies, making decisions, authoring actions and possessing free will. The feeling that a single, unified, enduring self inhabits the body is compelling and inescapable. But that sovereignty of the self is increasingly under threat from science as our understanding of the brain advances.
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Disappointing
- By David R Pinsof on 05-10-12
By: Bruce Hood
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Living in Flow
- The Science of Synchronicity and How Your Choices Shape Your World
- By: Sky Nelson-Isaacs, Joseph Jaworski - foreword
- Narrated by: John Mark Bowman
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When we align with circumstance, circumstance aligns with us. Using a cutting-edge scientific theory of synchronicity, Sky Nelson-Isaacs presents a model for living "in the flow" - a state of optimal functioning, creative thinking, and seemingly effortless productivity. Nelson-Isaacs explains how our choices create meaning, translating current and original ideas from theoretical physics and quantum mechanics into accessible, actionable steps that we can all take to live lives in better alignment with who we are and who we want to be.
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Excellent Narration, Heady Concept
- By Geoff Bowman on 08-11-20
By: Sky Nelson-Isaacs, and others
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Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life
- A Psychologist Investigates How Evolution, Cognition, and Complexity Are Revolutionizing Our View of Human Nature
- By: Douglas T. Kenrick
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Between what can be learned from evolutionary psychology and cognitive science a picture emerges. In Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life, social psychologist Douglas Kenrick fuses these two fields to create a coherent story of human nature. In his analysis, many ingrained, apparently irrational behaviors—one-night stands, prejudice, conspicuous consumption, even art and religious devotion—are quite explicable and (when desired) avoidable.
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Rather dated and self-aggrandizing
- By Laurie Frick on 07-21-11
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The culmination of over 30 years of research, education, and practice, Dr. Alejandro Junger’s revolutionary, seven-day program is based around the core principles of functional medicine, Ayurvedic medicine, and intermittent fasting. Each one of these practices alone can have positive and lasting effects, but when used together, they propel the body to health, weight-loss, symptom-reversal, and restoration.
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Love this book!
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What listeners say about Selfless
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Meg
- 04-21-23
Enlightening
Finally a view of the self that breaks free from the myopic, self-obsessed tradition handed down by the psychoanalytic tradition AND simultaneously breaks free of the reductionistic, predetermined view of the self from the traditions of sociology and behaviorism. The embrace of the plasticity of identity is freeing rather than pathologizing. Like the author, I moved over a dozen times in childhood. Each disruption offering the freedom to redefine yourself and the interminable struggle to define yourself. After reflecting on my own experiences I came to the conclusion that we probably develop a group identity far before we gain much of a sense of ourself. Dr. Lowery’s view of identity explains the trajectory of such experiences sans pathology. Thank you, Dr.Lowery. This is a great work.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-09-23
Provocative
Enjoying this first listen and plan on a second soon thereafter. Has me looking in the mirror asking tough questions.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-11-23
Must read…or listen to.
Timely and thought-provoking. Dr. Lowery is a great author, and this book addresses important concepts on self, humanity, and purpose.
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- Anthony
- 06-18-23
required reading for any human
Excellent treatise on self and freedom. If you hold dear to a discreet self you let go of any hope of freedom. Love his examples. what is a self is fully answered. How our selves are created and formed by all our relationships with people. You come away with a firm grasp of acquiring your Self and happily eschewing freedom. people need structure, boundaries, rules to guide us through a mess of relationships that tax our ability to make sense of the world.
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- Josh
- 04-06-23
Excellent listening to and will likely re-listen
I believe this could help a lot of people better define who they are, or, how they see who they are. Perhaps the theory could be taken a bit further past social creation, though.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-04-24
I loved this book
This author stays his course, insightfully commenting on our interconnectedness. Clean easy read/listen. On listening to the end, it deserves a review
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- Kevin L. Vaughn
- 10-10-23
A little redundant
Overall, I felt like the point of the book was valuable. I just feel like the author took a long time to get there and may have been easier to follow when reading versus listening to it.
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- Andrew Burke
- 06-18-23
starts off with a bang
the opening chapter or 2 is awesome. it drifts a bit into meh territory but he does always offer up good evidence for his thinking. Absolutely enjoyed the guy reading it and a few of the stories I'd never heard before
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1 person found this helpful