
Simon Fayter and the Doors of Bone
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Narrated by:
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Austin J. Bailey
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By:
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Austin J. Bailey
About this listen
Three friends. Two ancient mysteries. One magical porta-potty.
Complete with 157 footnotes and a button that makes sheep fall from the sky, Simon Fayter and the Doors of Bone is the rip-roaring tale of an endearingly overconfident and hilarious boy genius. Simon has no idea that the quirky old tutor his mom works for is hiding an ancient secret, but the truth comes out when dark forces attack. Simon inherits a dusty coat, a slew of strange powers, and an age-old mystery. Namely, that the strange "lucky streak" he was born with is actually something much more complicated. And more dangerous....
Austin J. Bailey has entertained over 500,000 listeners with his best-selling Magemother series, and his latest work is better than ever. Doors of Bone is the first in a series of five middle-grade fantasy novels for kids of all ages.
©2017 Austin J. Bailey (P)2020 Austin J. BaileyListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Always read the fine print. Especially when you’re making a deal with the devil. Because demons are sneaky bastards. That’s how they got me. Well, and the rest of my hometown. A few hours of what I asked for and then we were all dragged to Hell. Luckily, those jokes about lawyers and Hell are pretty accurate. After a lengthy court case downstairs, I’ve been released on Hell’s very first work-release program with a time limit and a quota. All I have to do is hunt down and kill the things that go bump in the night.
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New Author, New Series, Read!
- By Watson H. Rhodes on 09-27-21
By: D.V. Wolfe
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The Witch of Shadowmarsh
- The Moonstone Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Sara C. Roethle
- Narrated by: Mark Rice-Oxley
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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The Empire rules with an iron fist. The Valeroot elves have barely managed to survive, but at least they’re not Arthali witches like Elmerah. Her people were exiled long ago. Just a child at the time, her only choice was to flee her homeland, or remain among those who’d betrayed their own kind. She was resigned to living out her solitary life in a swamp until pirates kidnap her and throw her in with their other captives, young women destined to be sold into slavery.
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Performance average
- By Amazon Customer on 12-31-24
By: Sara C. Roethle
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Sugar, Spice, and Magical Midlife
- Midlife Menace, Book 1
- By: Tara West
- Narrated by: Hollie Jackson
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Mm. Do you smell that? It's the warm, gooey cinnamon from my oven-hot rolls. I make the best baked goods in all of New Mexico, perhaps the whole world, in my so-very-humble opinion, using a secret family recipe, and a little forbidden magic. My bakery has been booming ever since I got rid of that big bag of moldy beans, aka the world's most grotesque farting and armpit-sniffing ex-husband. My life is finally on track. And then he walks into my life.
By: Tara West
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The Lost Heir
- The Gryphon Chronicles, Book 1
- By: E.G. Foley
- Narrated by: Jamie du Pont MacKenzie
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Jake is a scrappy orphaned pickpocket living by his wits on the streets of Victorian London. Lately he’s started seeing ghosts and discovers he can move solid objects with his mind! He has no idea why. Next thing he knows, a Sinister Gentleman and his minions come hunting him. On the run for his life, Jake is plunged headlong into a mysterious world full of magic and deadly peril. A world that holds the secret to who he really is: the long-lost heir of an aristocratic family - with magical powers!
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Awesome Magical Medieval Adventure
- By littlebear on 09-14-15
By: E.G. Foley
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Cody's War: Flight Of The Hope
- By: Todd McCaffrey
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When aliens attack and obliterate his solar system, fifteen-year-old Cody Ford narrowly escapes on a battered shuttle, carrying a precious cargo: the last remnants of humanity. Forced to think fast, Cody teams up with a brilliant young engineer named Ellaz to scavenge the wreckage of a lunar shipyard and construct a new starship – a ship capable of outrunning annihilation and carrying a warning to the rest of the galaxy. But building a ship is only half the battle. Cody and Ellaz must master cutting-edge technology, confront impossible choices, and face a chilling truth: sometimes, saving...
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2nd Grade Story Time
- By SLN on 02-12-24
By: Todd McCaffrey
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Blood and Bones
- Legion, Book 1
- By: A.D. Starrling
- Narrated by: Michael Bower
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Artemus Steele's life was weird enough before he started juggling flaming swords and battling creatures from the pit. Now he's part of a ragtag team trying to stop Armageddon, armed with nothing but newfound powers they can't control, a book of prophecies they can't read, and a hellhound who keeps eating the furniture. As Chicago becomes the flashpoint for celestial warfare, Artemus and his misfit crew must master their abilities, decipher ancient riddles, and save the world—all while dodging fireballs, demon claws, and the occasional hellhound temper tantrum.
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Just ok
- By Amazon Customer on 04-30-25
By: A.D. Starrling
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The Lost Redeemer
- Aeonica, Book 1
- By: David Musk
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Aeons once ruled the world. Now, their empire lies in ruin, and the survivors hide on the fringes of society. Nahlia is a librarian's apprentice who's obsessed with Aeon lore, scavenging for hints of their legendary power. But others are searching too, including the Templars who seek to hunt down the Aeon survivors. When the Templars attack her family, Nahlia is forced to infiltrate a secret academy and rise beyond everything she's ever known.
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Fantastic
- By Joyce E. Katsma on 01-08-23
By: David Musk
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Dragon's Honor
- Royal Dragon Shifters, Book 1
- By: McKenzie Rogue
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale, Logan McAllister
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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My dragon-shifter clan is in shambles after the Opal Clan attacked, killing our king and queen—my parents. Now, everyone is looking to me, expecting me to mate with a female dragon and take the throne. All I want is to hunt down the dragons who destroyed my family. To protect my siblings and get vengeance for my parents' deaths. Then I meet her. Finley, a temptingly curvaceous human who is completely against the rules. And completely what my dragon craves.
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Lots of words. Too many cringe-worthy.
- By S. Martin on 05-11-24
By: McKenzie Rogue
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Max Abaddon and the Will: A Max Abaddon Urban Fantasy Novel
- Max Abaddon Series, Book 1
- By: Justin Leslie
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Max was just having one of those days until he soon realized everything that goes bump in the night is real. Most people inherit a house, a pet, or money. Max Abaddon wasn’t so lucky. His Gramps left him a job that required him to learn that magic was real, and he’d better learn how to use it. Soon…In his new role Max works with a team of eccentric Mages based out of a facility called the Atheneum that has, for a very long time managed the relationship between the normal world and well everything else.
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Fresh & humorous with fantastic world building
- By kimbacaffeinate on 01-08-21
By: Justin Leslie
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Shadow Origins
- A Magical Library Urban Fantasy Novel (Shelving Magic)
- By: Nellie H. Steele
- Narrated by: Dana Allen
- Length: 3 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When paranormal librarian Reed Moore received a strange note hinting at a problem within the world’s supernatural library network, she’s concerned. And when a routine asset retrieval goes wrong, she’s not only frightened for her life, but convinced something nefarious is pervading every library in the world. Tracking down the thief will take all her wits and threatens to rob her of everything. With a ticking clock and threats from all sides, will Reed track down the culprit or will this be her last investigation?
By: Nellie H. Steele
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Deadlands Druid
- The Sylvan Cycle Series, Book 1
- By: M.D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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If I’m to restore the druids to their former glory, I’ll need a safe place to train my recruits. Ideally, someplace where they won’t get curb-stomped by the gods. I can’t think of a better place to hide out than an alternate timeline where the gods and fae are too busy fighting a civil war to bother with little old me. So, it’s time to head back, settle old scores, clear the alternate timeline Earth of the undead, and plant some new druid groves.
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consistent excellence
- By Richard Ceasor on 11-25-23
By: M.D. Massey
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The Time Hunters
- By: Carl Ashmore
- Narrated by: Carl Ashmore
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Becky is a typical 13-year-old girl. She likes Facebook, animals, and plenty of sleep. So when she and her brother Joe are invited to stay with their "loony" Uncle Percy at his stately home, the mysterious Bowen Hall, she thinks it"ll be the worst summer ever. What she doesn't realize is that Bowen Hall is also home to a baby Triceratops, two Sabre-tooth tigers and the mythic hero, Will Scarlet....
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Not a good story
- By Stephanie Walter on 05-09-24
By: Carl Ashmore
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The First Wizard
- Dawn of Wizards, Book 1
- By: Jeffrey L. Kohanek
- Narrated by: Pavi Proczko
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Ian and Vic are brothers. Their lives are simple, and while they might long for excitement, happiness can be found in a hard day's work, a sunny day, or the smile from a pretty girl. Their lives are turned on end when their village is attacked and they are taken as slaves, destined to labor under the watchful eye of their captors. The strife that had long dominated much of the world had found them. Things would never be the same.
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Disappointing for me.
- By Nogurt on 08-27-24
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Wish Upon the Stars 1
- A Superhero Cultivation LitRPG
- By: Malcolm Tent
- Narrated by: Neil Hellegers
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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The Wish Curse Palace, the largest criminal organization in the multiverse, seeks its new successor. On Shane's eighteenth birthday, his dormant Wishmaster bloodline awakens, making him a potential heir to the organization's legacy. In Unity territory, power and public perception go hand-in-hand, empowering an elite class of superheroes and supervillains. Shane must progress through the ranks of heroes to harness his wish-granting abilities. With the help of newfound allies, Shane must showcase acts of heroism to climb the hierarchy, all while concealing the true source of his powers.
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5 stars
- By Joshua Airington on 08-09-23
By: Malcolm Tent
Unique
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Different but decent
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foot notes
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I keep hearing "Shattering Glass!" in my head.
Love the Tone
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Started slow, but by the end I wanted more…
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Great story, Great Narrator!
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beautifully written and witty
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I guess I like fantasy books
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Don't let the number of foot notes scare you. They are carefully and professionally crafted into the audiobook as to not disturb the experience. In fact, they are a rich and refreshing addition and the reader would lose wealth and depth to the development of the characters if they were not included.
Captivating!
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utter shock and elation
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