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Strange Situation
- A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment
- Narrated by: Bethany Saltman, Fred Sanders
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
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Publisher's summary
A full-scale investigation of the controversial and often misunderstood science of attachment theory, inspired by the author's own experience as a parent and daughter.
"A profound and beautiful work...searingly honest, brazenly fresh, and startlingly rich." (Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon)
When professional researcher and writer Bethany Saltman gave birth to her daughter, Azalea, she loved her deeply but felt as if something was missing. Looking back at her lonely childhood, dangerous teenage years, and love-addicted early adulthood, Saltman thought maybe she was broken.
Then she discovered the science of attachment, the field of psychology that explores the question of why - from an evolutionary point of view - love exists between parents and children. Saltman went on a 10-year journey visiting labs, archives, and training sessions, while learning the meaning of "delight" from Mary Ainsworth, one of psychology’s most important but unsung researchers, who died in 1999.
Saltman went deep into the history and findings from Ainsworth's famous laboratory procedure, the Strange Situation, which, like an X-ray, is still used today by scientists around the world to catch a glimpse of the internal workings of attachment. In this simple 20-minute procedure, a baby and a caregiver enter an ordinary room with two chairs and some toys. During a series of comings and goings, a trained observer studies the minutiae of the pair's back-and-forth with each other.
Through the science of attachment, what Saltman discovered was a radical departure from everything she thought she knew - about love and about her own family, her story, and herself. She was far from broken - she saw that love is too powerful to ever break.
Strange Situation is a scientific, lyrical, life-affirming exploration of love. Not only will listeners be taken on an emotional ride through one mother's reckoning with her own past and her family's future, but they will also be given the tools with which to better understand their own life histories and their relationships today.
Praise for Strange Situation:
“A fascinating deep dive into attachment theory.... Carefully researched and with copious endnotes, this is an excellent resource for anyone interested in child development.” (Publishers Weekly)
“Honest and complex.... A thoughtful engagement with a topic that affects all parents.” (Kirkus Reviews)
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Critic reviews
“In this searingly honest, brazenly fresh, and startlingly rich book, Bethany Saltman plunders her autobiography for insights about attachment and brilliantly connects them to the work of Mary Ainsworth and other thinkers in the field. By personalizing the story of attachment in relation to both her family of origin and the one she created, Saltman creates a compelling narrative arc that turns up insight after insight. This book about attachment is the story of how we learn love, both early in our lives and later on. It is a profound and beautiful work.” (Andrew Solomon, National Book Award-winning author of The Noonday Demon and Far from the Tree)
“Strange Situation is a beautiful exploration of what makes us human - our relationships. By artfully weaving together her own experiences as a mother, daughter, and wife with the science of attachment and the fascinating life history of one of its founders, Mary Ainsworth, Saltman helps us to see ourselves - and our relationships with those we love - in an entirely new way.” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
“Brilliant, brutally honest, and ultimately redemptive, Bethany Saltman’s powerful and meticulous new book, Strange Situation, made me see my own childhood and my own parenting in a fascinating new light. This book flooded me with emotions and questions, but unfolded like an epic drama. I couldn’t put it down.” (Amy Chua, best-selling author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and Political Tribes: Group Instinct and the Fate of Nations)
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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The Attachment Effect
- Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives
- By: Peter Lovenheim
- Narrated by: Graham Winton
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Attachment theory is having a moment. Recently covered in the New York Times Magazine, New York magazine, and elsewhere, it's also the subject of popular relationship guides. Why is this 60-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love - and how. Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim went on a years-long journey to understand it from the inside out.
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Failed to Attach
- By Danielle SeCheverell on 07-21-20
By: Peter Lovenheim
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Hunt, Gather, Parent
- What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
- By: Michaeleen Doucleff
- Narrated by: Michaeleen Doucleff
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do.
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I wish they had a professional narrator
- By Anonymous User on 03-26-21
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How to Be Sad
- Everything I’ve Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Helen Russell
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Helen Russell has researched sadness from the inside out for her entire life. Her earliest memory is of the day her sister died. Her parents divorced soon after, and her mother didn’t receive the help she needed to grieve. Coping with her own emotional turmoil — including struggles with body image and infertility — she’s endured professional and personal setbacks as well as relationships that have imploded in truly spectacular ways. Even the things that brought her the greatest joy — like eventually becoming a parent — are fraught with challenges.
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More an self biography
- By Jaime Murillo on 04-27-24
By: Helen Russell
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Pregnant Girl
- A Story of Teen Motherhood, College, and Creating a Better Future for Young Families
- By: Nicole Lynn Lewis
- Narrated by: Nicky Sunshine
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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An activist calls for better support of young families so they can thrive and reflects on her experiences as a Black mother and college student fighting for opportunities for herself and her child. Pregnant Girl presents the possibility of a different future for young mothers - one of success and stability - in the midst of the dismal statistics that dominate the national conversation.
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Political
- By Amazon Customer on 01-16-23
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Simplicity Parenting
- Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
- By: Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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From internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne comes an eloquent guide that seeks to help parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their individuality to flourish.
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A worthwhile listen for new parents
- By Kathy K on 07-30-12
By: Kim John Payne, and others
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
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Carly's Voice
- Breaking Through Autism
- By: Arthur Fleischmann, Carly Fleischmann
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. Doctors predicted that she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child. Although she made some progress after years of intensive behavioral and communication therapy, Carly remained largely unreachable. Then, at age 10, Carly had a breakthrough....
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A peek inside...
- By Yolanda on 08-09-13
By: Arthur Fleischmann, and others
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The Connected Parent
- Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
- By: Lisa Qualls, Karyn Purvis PhD
- Narrated by: Lisa Qualls
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis gives you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your family. You will benefit from Karyn’s decades of clinical research and real-world experience. Coauthor Lisa Qualls demonstrates how you can successfully implement these strategies in your home, just as she did in hers. You will learn how to simplify your approach using scripts, nurture your child, combat chronic fear, teach respect, and develop other valuable tools to facilitate a healing connection with your child.
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An holistic approach to relational health
- By K & J on 02-11-23
By: Lisa Qualls, and others
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One and Only
- The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
- By: Lauren Sandler
- Narrated by: Lauren Sandler
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
By: Lauren Sandler
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Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
- Quiet the Critical Voice in Your Head, Heal Self-Doubt, and Live the Life You Deserve
- By: Stephanie M. Kriesberg PsyD, Wendy T. Behary LCSW - foreword
- Narrated by: Linda Jones
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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If you were raised by a narcissistic mother and are struggling with the lingering effects of a toxic upbringing, this is the road map you need to heal the past and thrive in the present and future.
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I really needed this!
- By Rachael E on 01-28-23
By: Stephanie M. Kriesberg PsyD, and others
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Building Confidence in Your Child
- By: James Dobson
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Proven ways to improve your child's self-esteem. A solid sense of self-worth helps your child make good choices, develop healthy relationships, and work to achieve his or her dreams. But what's the best way to instill self-confidence while still teaching your child to value and care about others? Based on a biblical understanding of human worth, Building Confidence in Your Child teaches you how to parent positively and help your child grow into a secure adult who is poised for success in life.
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Outdated Terms/Assumptions- I'm disappointed
- By Bobye M Ruddell on 02-17-20
By: James Dobson
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An Uncomplicated Life
- A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter
- By: Paul Daugherty
- Narrated by: Robert McCollum
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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A father’s exhilarating and funny love letter to his daughter with Down syndrome whose vibrant and infectious approach to life has something to teach all of us about how we can better live our own. Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome. On the day Paul and Kerry, her parents, brought her home from the hospital they were flooded with worry and uncertainty, but also overwhelming love, which they channeled to “the job of building the better Jillian”. While their daughter had special needs, they refused to allow her to grow up needy - “expect, don’t accept” became their mantra.
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A Story on the Beauties of DS
- By Matthew on 04-16-23
By: Paul Daugherty
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Smile
- The Story of a Face
- By: Sarah Ruhl
- Narrated by: Sarah Ruhl
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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With a play opening on Broadway, and every reason to smile, Sarah Ruhl has just survived a high-risk pregnancy when she discovers the left side of her face is completely paralyzed. She is assured that 90 percent of Bell’s palsy patients experience a full recovery—like Ruhl’s own mother. But Sarah is in the unlucky ten percent. And for a woman, wife, mother, and artist working in theater, the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior brings significant and specific challenges.
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Synkinesis: I am there
- By Elizabeth Principi on 11-04-21
By: Sarah Ruhl
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Several comments on the brain were incorrect.
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Good book - just not a good one for Audible
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What listeners say about Strange Situation
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kathryn
- 07-18-21
A must read!
Fantastic completion of information on topics near and dear... for mothers, students, and researchers alike.
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- MaryAnn
- 07-20-22
Fascinating!
Thank you so much Bethany for your book filled with such fascinating and interesting information on attachment. Thank you for the raw vulnerability in sharing your own experiences and your heart and soul. I am so grateful to have read this book. I highly recommend it to others interested in this subject.
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- micinyc
- 11-05-21
Fascinating
Loved this journey with Bethany. Helped me form some personal reflections I my own motherhood journey.
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- lola
- 12-16-21
There is hope in parenting and being human
As a mother and a therapist who has read volumes on attachment in an effort to sharpen my clinical skills and understand myself better as a daughter, wife, human and parent, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Bethany wonderfully complements the science of attachment with her personal story. In examining herself through the lense of attachment, she is able to re-narrate the events of her life and understand them more fully. Her doing so made room for me to do so and I am grateful for her effort.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 04-24-21
Great book to learn more about attachment theory with lovely personal story
Great book to learn more about attachment theory with lovely personal story!
As a mother, I’m deeply touched by this story and grateful for how Mrs Saltman so honestly lay out her own thoughts and personal story. I do criticize my own parenting style from time to time and beat myself hard to “upgrade.” This book is a relief to me! Love it so much that I recommended to many people, including publishers in Taiwan. I registered to the AAI study program too! Thank you for this beautiful book!
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- Marilyn R. Manning
- 06-02-20
A wonderful listen
Without a background in psychology OR being a mother, I was pleasantly surprised to have this be a thoroughly enjoyable and stimulating read. Bethany wove her own personal life story in with the clinical details of attachment theory so well that in some ways I felt I was reading a novel. Bethany wove her own, and Mary Ainsworth's life's stories in such a way to make it a fascinating, well-paced read. It's a remarkable book by a remarkable woman.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Hannah Morley-Fletcher
- 05-21-21
Ravishing
This book is so special and needed! Loved every word of it and it definitely has changed my life for the better. It is an honour, both to follow along the author’s journey of discovery and understanding and to plunge into the depth of the knowledge she shares with us. Totally recommend this book to anyone - not only parents. It is, indeed, a book about love and life.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-23-21
Amazing and insightful book. At least for me it was.
I feel this book has given me lots to think about and at the same time it has given me lots of answers. This book makes me want learn more. It also gave me some pease of mind, it helps whit understanding me, me as a child, me as a teenager and me as a mom. We do the best we can, and if we know and learn more, we can do better. I think everybody will find a different, and his even his own lessen in the book, that for me makes a book good. I am grateful to have found this book.
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- Bree
- 06-10-21
My New Go-to Gift for All Parents
This book is an absolute must read for anyone who has a relationship with children. It's not a step by step "how to parent" or "do this not that", but instead captures the essence of what human relationships thrive on, and offers hope, conviction, encouragement, and wisdom.
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- spin
- 01-05-23
Engaging and nerdy
This book literally transformed the way I view myself, my relationship with my kid.
The book is well written, and Bethany. The author is the reader and has a really smooth delivery.
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