Understanding the Borderline Mother
Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Heather Auden
About this listen
The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.
Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
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By: Elaine N. Aron
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For Your Own Good
- Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
- By: Alice Miller
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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For Your Own Good, the contemporary classic exploring the serious if not gravely dangerous consequences parental cruelty can bring to bear on children everywhere, is one of the central works by Alice Miller, the celebrated Swiss psychoanalyst. With her typically lucid, strong, and poetic language, Miller investigates the personal stories and case histories of various self-destructive and/or violent individuals to expand on her theories about the long-term effects of abusive child-rearing.
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Should be required reading for everyone
- By Timothy on 05-15-18
By: Alice Miller
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Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Divorce Poison
- How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
- By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 14 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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Controlling People
- How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
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In Controlling People, best-selling author Patricia Evans tackles the "controlling personality" and reveals how and why these people try to run other people's lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior - even as they alienate others and often lose those they love. Should you ever find yourself in the thrall of someone close to you, Controlling People is here to give you the wisdom, power, and comfort you need to be a stronger, happier, and more independent person.
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EXTRAORDINARY
- By Rob on 02-27-14
By: Patricia Evans
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
- Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
- By Matthew&Rebecca on 04-28-12
By: Terrence Real
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Getting Past Your Past
- Take Control of Your Life With Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy
- By: Francine Shapiro
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether we've experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or don't fully understand. Getting Past Your Past offers practical procedures that demystify the human condition and empower listeners looking to achieve real change. An easy conversational style, humor, and fascinating real life stories make it simple to understand the brain science behind why we get stuck in various ways and what we can about it.
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
- By MZHOLLAND on 08-20-12
By: Francine Shapiro
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Decent primer if your mom is still in your life
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not as helpful as I was hoping
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Good Mother - Bad Mother: Comparing and Contrasting Normal Mothering Behavior with the Behavior of a Borderline Mother
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This book will discuss the traits of a good mother in contrast with the traits of a bad mother. It will cover real cases of mothers with borderline personality disorder and some of the cruel treatment they gave their children. The children of seriously ill borderline mothers often grow up with posttraumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizoid disorder, psychopathy, or narcissism. They can experience a wide range of physical and emotional conditions that are directly related to the chronic stress and the chaos that they lived through as children.
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Objective miopaty
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Hope Found
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Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder
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Do you often find yourself happy and excited one minute, then upset and sad the next without even knowing why? Are you having a hard time making romantic relationships work because you’re afraid your partner will leave? Have you physically hurt a loved one–or yourself–out of extreme anger that you failed to control or stop? Or are you related to or concerned about someone with BPD–you don’t understand the disorder and want help? You’re not alone.
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Excellent discussion
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The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
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The symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) include severe mood shifts, unfounded accusations and wildly inappropriate displays of anger, a range of self-destructive behaviors, and frantic efforts to avoid abandonment. A practical guide to successfully navigating life with someone with BPD, The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook is chock full of checklists and exercises to help them apply what they've learned to their own relationship. It includes a list of phrases to use, and a glossary of BPD-related terms.
By: Randi Kreger, and others
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Recovery of Your Inner Child
- The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self
- By: Lucia Capacchione PhD, Charles L. Whitfield MD PhD - introduction
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Recovery of Your Inner Child is the only book that tells you how to have a firsthand experience of your Inner Child - actually feeling its emotions and recapturing its sense of wonder - by writing and drawing with your non-dominant hand. Expanding on the highly acclaimed technique introduced in The Power of Your Other Hand, here Dr. Capacchione shares scores of hands-on activities that will help you to embrace your Vulnerable Child and your Angry Child, find the Nurturing Parent within, and finally discover the Creative and Magical Child that can heal your life.
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Could be much shorter
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By: Lucia Capacchione PhD, and others
What listeners say about Understanding the Borderline Mother
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-20-19
Glad I ordered it
Good book that demonstrates the difference between a loving, caring mother vs a BPD mother. There needs to be more examples of loving moms, i.e. kind of like WWJD example. Instead WWLMD (What would loving mothers do)? Although rhe book has it, there should be more examples of loving moms. Any child with a BPD parent needs to have every image possible in their mind what an appropriate loving, caring relationship demonstrates since they have such a deficit.
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- Thejedhi
- 02-03-23
Helps you understand how you were raised
All my life I wondered what was wrong with my mother, my family, especially after she killed my dad. I found some relevant answers in this book.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ashley T.
- 06-19-19
I needed this
Thank goodness it was on Audible because this book is expensive to buy and none of the libraries near me had it. The book was easy to understand and had a lot of examples and cases to help things click. And damn, did they click. I've never even remotely understood my mother until bow.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Bobbie J Daniel
- 08-07-17
Very helpful.
I love the way tbe author breaks down different kinds of borderline mothers using references w could all easily understand.
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Overall
- John Clark
- 10-05-18
loved this book!
This book helped me a great deal to understand my childhood. I highly recommend this book.
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- The Cat Lady Wins
- 01-11-20
Factual and full of explanations!
I've read this book a couple of times and have yet to be bored of it. This is not a book littered with fluff and excuses about BPD. Instead, it extends a great deal of factual knowledge addressing the "why" and "how come" questions with truthful explanations and answers. Another big plus to this read is that it provides advice on how to properly act, react, and recognize BPD symptoms in oneself and/or others to name a few things. Of course, there's much more information and many different examples provided throughout the book, but it's too much to list. This is a must read for anyone who wants to understand those with BPD, it's roots of development, and how it affects those who have it. You won't be disappointed!
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- AmazonCustomer
- 11-30-20
Relatable, helpful for understanding my situation
I listened to it in a week, I don't recall the last book I finished
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- Peanut885
- 09-02-21
A Must Read
It took me awhile to get through this book emotionally but its highly recommended if you are struggling in your relationship with your mother.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-17-21
Like a play that captures the character perfectly
This book is superior to others in describing bpd. Most books rely on the DSM and repeat the same tired list of bpd traits. None talk of the real life scripts that unfold in a bpd dynamic. As much as the DSM list of traits sounds like a defined pathology it alone leads to confusion for a relative of a bpd, this book clears that up right away. There is no doubt once you hear the nuanced playwright within the book unfold and reveal the bpd characters. Amazing.
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- Camila Rubio Patiño
- 02-20-24
Revealing
This book has revealed so many truths that I couldn’t have seen on my own. It has provided tools that I will start to use in order to live a healthier life and raise healthy children of my own.
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