
Understanding the Borderline Mother
Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Heather Auden
About this listen
The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.
Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
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By: Lundy Bancroft
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Divorce Poison
- How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
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Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
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- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
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By: Melody Beattie
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Controlling People
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In Controlling People, best-selling author Patricia Evans tackles the "controlling personality" and reveals how and why these people try to run other people's lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior - even as they alienate others and often lose those they love. Should you ever find yourself in the thrall of someone close to you, Controlling People is here to give you the wisdom, power, and comfort you need to be a stronger, happier, and more independent person.
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EXTRAORDINARY
- By Rob on 02-27-14
By: Patricia Evans
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
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- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
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Relationship Breakthrough
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
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Getting Past Your Past
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Whether we've experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or don't fully understand. Getting Past Your Past offers practical procedures that demystify the human condition and empower listeners looking to achieve real change. An easy conversational style, humor, and fascinating real life stories make it simple to understand the brain science behind why we get stuck in various ways and what we can about it.
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
- By MZHOLLAND on 08-20-12
By: Francine Shapiro
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
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- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
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- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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an absolute lifesaver!
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Great BPD guide! 👍
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For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies - common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder - leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless.
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Incredibly Helpful
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The Buddha and the Borderline
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Kiera Van Gelder's first suicide attempt at the age of 12 marked the onset of her struggles with drug addiction, depression, post-traumatic stress, self-harm, and chaotic romantic relationships - all of which eventually led to doctors' belated diagnosis of borderline personality disorder 20 years later. The Buddha and the Borderline is a window into this mysterious and debilitating condition, an unblinking portrayal of one woman's fight against the emotional devastation of borderline personality disorder.
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Clarity for a parent
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Complex Borderline Personality Disorder
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Performance
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If you've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), or suspect that you might have it, you should know that not everyone experiences the condition in the same way. BPD actually manifests on a spectrum, and while some people may encounter extreme symptoms and consequences on one end, others may be less affected on the other.
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Gave me hope
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Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder
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If you are like many others living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you know what it's like to be overwhelmed by intense and fluctuating emotions; to have difficulty with relationships; and to constantly struggle with troubling thoughts and behaviors. BPD can be especially difficult to treat, though there are ways to gain control over your symptoms and live a happier, healthier life.
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Recommend
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What listeners say about Understanding the Borderline Mother
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- ESVK
- 03-09-17
Amazingly Comprehensive & Accurate
Would you consider the audio edition of Understanding the Borderline Mother to be better than the print version?
The print version is equally valuable as a reference as this book is deep.
What did you like best about this story?
The author accurately and comprehensively covers a very difficult subject
Have you listened to any of Heather Auden’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
N/A
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Too deep to listen to in a short period of time. I need to listen to this book multiple times.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Melissa N.
- 12-10-22
So helpful
This book has been unbelievably helpful in helping me to understand how I was NOT mothered well and gives me language and knowledge to use when living a separate life and moving forward in adulthood after choosing to be estranged from my toxic family of origin
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2 people found this helpful
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- K
- 05-18-23
Illuminating and validating
This was an amazing book! It shed light on a challenging and fraught topic with such poise. Truly a healing read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Liz
- 12-06-18
Great book and narrator!
This book really puts alot of my childhood and adult life into perspective, I've never been able to understand the evil that is my Mother. I will listen to it again because there is so much good information and I want to retain it all.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chantal N.
- 06-13-20
Amazing
Beautifully written. Recommend to anyone who is struggling with BPD or has a family member who may be struggling with it. Thank you Christine Lawson.
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- Michael
- 06-16-19
Finally I understand
Finally I understand my mother, how to handle myself around her, and know that there is hope for all of us in recovering our lives.
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- Gidget1022
- 12-08-21
My life nailed!
This book was validating for me. I wish I would have read it years ago. The behaviors and examples used hit so close to home for me. If you’re even the slightest bit suspicious that things were off in your childhood then this book will clarify things for you. Understanding your mothers behavior is the first step in healing and breaking free.
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- Holly
- 12-31-21
So informative and helpful
My step-children have a borderline mother and this book was so helpful in deepening my and my husband’s understanding of what our children experience through their mother and how to help them escape the ravages of BPD themselves.
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- Lori
- 12-01-17
Excellent book, pretty much all women should listen to this.
BPD effects are everyone in society at some degree. Therefore the more people that understand the better chances we have as a society to make a difference. Many people are completely unaware they even have BPD.
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- Adam Shekerjian
- 12-23-21
Exactly what was needed!
I heard my and my clients' stories throughout this book. It was a professional recommendation and definitely a book worth reading. For anyone who has had (has) a troubled relationship with their mother, or to further understand others who do, it is well worth the read. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this knowledge and to those who shared their story throughout the book.
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