-
Understanding the Borderline Mother
- Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
- Narrated by: Heather Auden
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
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Publisher's summary
The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.
Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.
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- Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
- By: Alice Miller
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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For Your Own Good, the contemporary classic exploring the serious if not gravely dangerous consequences parental cruelty can bring to bear on children everywhere, is one of the central works by Alice Miller, the celebrated Swiss psychoanalyst. With her typically lucid, strong, and poetic language, Miller investigates the personal stories and case histories of various self-destructive and/or violent individuals to expand on her theories about the long-term effects of abusive child-rearing.
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Should be required reading for everyone
- By Timothy on 05-15-18
By: Alice Miller
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Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Divorce Poison
- How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
- By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 14 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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Controlling People
- How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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In Controlling People, best-selling author Patricia Evans tackles the "controlling personality" and reveals how and why these people try to run other people's lives. She also explains the compulsion that makes them continue this behavior - even as they alienate others and often lose those they love. Should you ever find yourself in the thrall of someone close to you, Controlling People is here to give you the wisdom, power, and comfort you need to be a stronger, happier, and more independent person.
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EXTRAORDINARY
- By Rob on 02-27-14
By: Patricia Evans
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
- Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
- By Matthew&Rebecca on 04-28-12
By: Terrence Real
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Getting Past Your Past
- Take Control of Your Life With Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy
- By: Francine Shapiro
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether we've experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or don't fully understand. Getting Past Your Past offers practical procedures that demystify the human condition and empower listeners looking to achieve real change. An easy conversational style, humor, and fascinating real life stories make it simple to understand the brain science behind why we get stuck in various ways and what we can about it.
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
- By MZHOLLAND on 08-20-12
By: Francine Shapiro
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Very Powerful. Deserves 6 stars!
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life changing
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Stop Walking on Eggshells, Third Edition
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From someone who has BPD
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complete validation of what I only suspected !
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Great advice IF you decide to or must continue a relationship with someone with BPD
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Very Powerful. Deserves 6 stars!
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Convoluted
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life changing
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From someone who has BPD
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Excellent discussion
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You love your mother, but she drives you crazy. She controls, criticizes, and butts into your life constantly. Then when you try and set boundaries, the pushback and resulting guilt are so bad you tell yourself...it's just not worth it. Is your mother narcissistic, borderline, or just plain difficult? Are you empathetic, sensitive, and kind? If so, chances are you have fallen into one or all of the hidden psychological traps that constitute the Good Daughter Syndrome.
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Decent primer if your mom is still in your life
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I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Third Edition
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After more than three decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), the third edition of I Hate You - Don’t Leave Me now reflects the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders.
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Antiquated
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Recommend
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May be worth the pain.
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Recovery of Your Inner Child
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Could be much shorter
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If you have a loved one with BPD, you need real, proven-effective strategies to help you navigate the intense emotions and conflict that can arise in daily interactions and conversations. People with BPD often feel anger, pain, and hurt from a history of invalidation and disappointment, and their difficulty in regulating emotions can lead to moments of lashing out that can confuse and upset those around them. Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder offers a breakthrough, compassionate approach to communicating with a loved one who has BPD.
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Relief!
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The Emotionally Absent Mother
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Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships - or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse - but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering.
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Good book but not the audio version
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The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
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Performance
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For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies - common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder - leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless.
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Incredibly Helpful
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Parents act as a mirror to show a child who she or he is. Throughout childhood there will be other mirrors, but children inevitably return to the reflection in that original mirror in order to determine their goodness, importance, and self-worth. In Healing Your Emotional Self, Beverly Engle offers her highly effective Mirror Therapy program to help you reject the distorted images your parents either intentionally or unintentionally projected onto you.
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Narrator was difficult to listen to
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Soul Without Shame
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Whether we call it the inner critic, superego, or just plain nag, most of us have a "judge within" who's constantly on our case. A comprehensive guide to understanding how the inner critic works, this book offers practical, positive suggestions for breaking free of it. Using straightforward language and examples from everyday life, Byron Brown shows: Where the inner judge came from. How it operates. Why it trips us up. Why we believe we need it. How to develop awareness of it. How to disengage from it.
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So wonderful!!!
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By: Byron Brown, and others
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Daughter Detox
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Writer Peg Streep lays out seven distinct but interconnected stages on the path to reclaim your life from the effects of a toxic childhood: "discover", "discernment", "distinguish", "disarm", "reclaim", "redirect", and "recover". Each step is clearly explained and richly detailed with the stories of other women. With approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines and with unique exercises, the book will help the listener tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior.
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not as helpful as I was hoping
- By Jinger on 03-12-20
By: Peg Streep
What listeners say about Understanding the Borderline Mother
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-20-19
Glad I ordered it
Good book that demonstrates the difference between a loving, caring mother vs a BPD mother. There needs to be more examples of loving moms, i.e. kind of like WWJD example. Instead WWLMD (What would loving mothers do)? Although rhe book has it, there should be more examples of loving moms. Any child with a BPD parent needs to have every image possible in their mind what an appropriate loving, caring relationship demonstrates since they have such a deficit.
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- Thejedhi
- 02-03-23
Helps you understand how you were raised
All my life I wondered what was wrong with my mother, my family, especially after she killed my dad. I found some relevant answers in this book.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ashley T.
- 06-19-19
I needed this
Thank goodness it was on Audible because this book is expensive to buy and none of the libraries near me had it. The book was easy to understand and had a lot of examples and cases to help things click. And damn, did they click. I've never even remotely understood my mother until bow.
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- Bobbie J Daniel
- 08-07-17
Very helpful.
I love the way tbe author breaks down different kinds of borderline mothers using references w could all easily understand.
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Overall
- John Clark
- 10-05-18
loved this book!
This book helped me a great deal to understand my childhood. I highly recommend this book.
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- The Cat Lady Wins
- 01-11-20
Factual and full of explanations!
I've read this book a couple of times and have yet to be bored of it. This is not a book littered with fluff and excuses about BPD. Instead, it extends a great deal of factual knowledge addressing the "why" and "how come" questions with truthful explanations and answers. Another big plus to this read is that it provides advice on how to properly act, react, and recognize BPD symptoms in oneself and/or others to name a few things. Of course, there's much more information and many different examples provided throughout the book, but it's too much to list. This is a must read for anyone who wants to understand those with BPD, it's roots of development, and how it affects those who have it. You won't be disappointed!
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- AmazonCustomer
- 11-30-20
Relatable, helpful for understanding my situation
I listened to it in a week, I don't recall the last book I finished
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- Peanut885
- 09-02-21
A Must Read
It took me awhile to get through this book emotionally but its highly recommended if you are struggling in your relationship with your mother.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-17-21
Like a play that captures the character perfectly
This book is superior to others in describing bpd. Most books rely on the DSM and repeat the same tired list of bpd traits. None talk of the real life scripts that unfold in a bpd dynamic. As much as the DSM list of traits sounds like a defined pathology it alone leads to confusion for a relative of a bpd, this book clears that up right away. There is no doubt once you hear the nuanced playwright within the book unfold and reveal the bpd characters. Amazing.
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- Camila Rubio Patiño
- 02-20-24
Revealing
This book has revealed so many truths that I couldn’t have seen on my own. It has provided tools that I will start to use in order to live a healthier life and raise healthy children of my own.
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