Listen Like You Mean It
Reclaiming the Lost Art of True Connection
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Narrated by:
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Ximena Vengoechea
About this listen
“Full of revealing, instantly applicable ideas for leveraging your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses.” (Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Originals, and host of the TED podcast WorkLife)
For many of us, listening is simply something we do on autopilot. We hear just enough of what others say to get our work done, maintain friendships, and be polite with our neighbors. But we miss crucial opportunities to go deeper - to give and receive honest feedback, to make connections that will endure for the long haul, and to discover who people truly are at their core.
Fortunately, listening can be improved - and Ximena Vengoechea can show you how. In Listen Like You Mean It, she offers an essential listening guide for our times, revealing tried-and-true strategies honed in her own research sessions and drawn from interviews with marriage counselors, podcast hosts, life coaches, journalists, filmmakers, and other listening experts. Through Vengoechea’s set of scripts, key questions, and exercises, you’ll learn to:
- Quickly build rapport with strangers
- Ask the right questions to deepen a conversation
- Pause at the right time to encourage vulnerability
- Navigate a conversation that’s gone off the rails
Now more than ever, we need to feel heard, connected, and understood in a world that keeps turning up the volume. Warm, funny, and immensely practical, this book shows you how.
* This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of illustrations, charts, and exercises.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Ximena Vengoechea (P)2021 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Could there be a more relevant book for our times? While there are plenty of books on persuasion, none tells us how to influence others through the quiet art of understanding. Vengoechea implores us to truly hear other people (maybe for the first time) and is the perfect author of a book on why we should listen like we mean it." (Nir Eyal, bestselling author of Hooked and Indistractable)
"This zestful guide will inspire readers to listen better." (Publishers Weekly)
“You know listening is one of the best ways to learn and connect, but how much time have you actually spent analyzing your style and skills? As a user experience researcher, Ximena Vengoechea specializes in the art and science of listening. Her book is full of revealing, instantly applicable ideas for leveraging your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses.” (Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Originals, and host of the TED podcast WorkLife)
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- By: Thomas Erikson
- Narrated by: David John
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Author Thomas Erikson explains that there are four key behavior types that define how we interact with and perceive the people around us. Understanding someone’s pattern of behavior is the key to successful communication. Erikson breaks down the four kinds of behavior types - Reds who are dominant and commanding, Yellows who are social and optimistic, Greens who are laid-back and friendly, and Blues who are analytical and precise - and explains how to identify and interact with each type of person.
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Should be titled "why I hate reds"
- By Dave on 08-24-20
By: Thomas Erikson
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Finding the Space to Lead
- A Practical Guide to Mindful Leadership
- By: Janice Marturano
- Narrated by: Janice Marturano
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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We already know from scientific research that mindfulness practices enhance mental health and improve clarity and focus. Finding the Space to Lead shows how this training has specific value for leaders. This is not a new leadership system to add to the burden of already overworked people. It brings the concepts of mindfulness into the everyday life of anyone in a leadership role, through specific exercises that address practical issues.
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Meant for those wanting to be "good" leaders
- By Patrick on 02-03-17
By: Janice Marturano
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Managers as Mentors
- Building Partnerships for Learning (Third Edition)
- By: Chip R. Bell, Marshall Goldsmith
- Narrated by: Mark Peckham
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Managers as Mentors is a rapid-fire listen and a provocative guide to helping associates grow and adapt in today’s tumultuous organizations. This new edition has been thoroughly revised and updated. As with previous editions there is a fictional case study of a mentor-protégé relationship running through the book, but this is augmented with six actual case studies of top CEOs who relate key mentoring experiences in their lives. This hands-on guide takes the mystery out of effective mentoring.
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Great tips and tools on mentoring
- By Hello on 01-14-23
By: Chip R. Bell, and others
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What Do You Really Want for Your Children?
- By: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
- Narrated by: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Questioning thousands of parents and educators, Dr. Wayne Dyer learned firsthand what people really want for their children. They don't particularly want their kids to go to fancy schools, acquire riches, or live "the good life". They do want them to have personal integrity and high self-esteem, and to grow up with love and peace in their hearts. Children raised the Wayne Dyer way feel useful and needed. They are inner- rather than outer-directed. They live a stress-free life naturally, without resorting to drugs.
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Deaply helpful
- By Dominique on 04-28-15
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Love Talk
- Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before
- By: Dr. Les Parrott, Dr. Leslie Parrott
- Narrated by: Dr. Leslie Parrott, Dr. Les Parrott
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Abridged
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A deep yet simple guide to revolutionizing the romance-building communication every thriving marriage needs. Love Talk is like no other communication book you've ever listened to. The fruit of years of research by two foremost relationship experts (who also happen to be husband and wife), this book forges a new path to the heart of loving conversation. You'll begin by identifying your security need and determining your personal communication style.
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Should Purchase the Book for Assessment Passcode
- By Terassa on 12-29-10
By: Dr. Les Parrott, and others
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Stand Up for Your Life
- By: Cheryl Richardson
- Narrated by: Cheryl Richardson
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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On this inspirational, informative, and highly entertaining program, Cheryl teaches you that there are several steps that will lead you to a life of meaning and purpose. When you take these steps, you'll find that a Divine power opens the exact doors you need to step into the light!
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Really Good!
- By Annette on 05-13-16
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Studies show that asking for help makes us better and less frustrated at our jobs. It helps us find new opportunities and new talent. It unlocks new ideas and solutions, and enhances team performance. And it helps us get the things we need outside the workplace as well. And yet, we rarely give ourselves permission to ask. Here, Wayne Baker shares a set of strategies - used at companies like Google, GM, and IDEO - that individuals, teams, and leaders can use to make asking for help a personal and organizational habit.
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Grace Saved 🙏🏽🙌🏽
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The Performance Paradox
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To succeed in a fast-changing world, individuals and companies know they must create a culture of growth, where experimentation and feedback are encouraged, and learning is integrated into the everyday. Yet we often get stuck in a well-worn pattern of habits that don’t move us forward. Why? Because many of us get trapped in the Performance Paradox: the counterintuitive phenomenon that if we focus only on performing, our performance suffers. How can we give ourselves the space to experiment and grow while also delivering high-level results?
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Big Feelings
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We all experience unwieldy feelings. But between our emotion-phobic society and the debilitating uncertainty of modern times, we usually don't know how to talk about what we're going through, much less handle it. Over the past year, Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy’s online community has laughed and cried about productivity guilt, pandemic anxiety, and Zoom fatigue. Now, Big Feelings addresses anyone intimidated by oversized feelings they can't predict or control.
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True Age
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This book's premise is simple and so is the whole.
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Saving Grace
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For years, New York Times best-selling author Kirsten Powers has been center stage for many of our nation’s most searing political and cultural battles as a columnist, TV analyst, and onetime participant in the thunderdome of Twitter. On a good day, there will be civil disagreement. On a bad day, it’s all-out trench warfare - nothing but a cycle of outrage and self-righteousness. More and more, Powers finds herself wondering, along with countless Americans: How are we to cope with this nonstop madness?
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Grace Saved 🙏🏽🙌🏽
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The Performance Paradox
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To succeed in a fast-changing world, individuals and companies know they must create a culture of growth, where experimentation and feedback are encouraged, and learning is integrated into the everyday. Yet we often get stuck in a well-worn pattern of habits that don’t move us forward. Why? Because many of us get trapped in the Performance Paradox: the counterintuitive phenomenon that if we focus only on performing, our performance suffers. How can we give ourselves the space to experiment and grow while also delivering high-level results?
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We all experience unwieldy feelings. But between our emotion-phobic society and the debilitating uncertainty of modern times, we usually don't know how to talk about what we're going through, much less handle it. Over the past year, Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy’s online community has laughed and cried about productivity guilt, pandemic anxiety, and Zoom fatigue. Now, Big Feelings addresses anyone intimidated by oversized feelings they can't predict or control.
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Ancient wisdom for developing focus and avoiding distractions delivered succinctly
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Elegantly written and deeply grounded in personal experience - works by Oliver Sacks come to mind - Physical Intelligence gives us a clear, illuminating examination of the intricate, mutually responsive relationship between the mind and the body as they engage (or don’t engage) in all manner of physical action. Ever wonder why you don’t walk into walls or off cliffs? How you decide if you can drive through a snowstorm? How high you are willing to climb up a ladder to change a lightbulb?
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Tales of Bears, Monkeys, Hominids, Neuroscience
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For much of his career, Dr. Mark Epstein kept his beliefs as a Buddhist separate from his work as a psychiatrist. But as he became more forthcoming with his patients about his personal spiritual leanings, he was surprised to find how many of them were eager to learn more. The divisions between the psychological, emotional, and the spiritual, he soon realized, were not as distinct as one might think.
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Interlocking centers
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From the groundbreaking author of Mistakes I Made at Work comes the perfect book for anyone who needs inspiration after dealing with rejection, failure, or is searching for a new beginning in the workplace. Featuring fascinating interviews with more than 25 women, including Keri Smith, Angela Duckworth, and Roz Chast, The Rejection That Changed My Life provides an exciting new way to think about career challenges, changes, and triumphs.
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Rejection as a Journey
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The Power of Thoughts
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Incredibly, the ingredients of a hugely successful life cost nothing at all. In fact, we mass-produce 60,000 of them every day. These are the thoughts that our mind creates. They are responsible for the happiness and distress we experience. They are the precursors of all we do. We grapple with improving our actions, only to find our attempts undone by impure thinking. If we focus on transforming our thoughts instead, incredible results will accrue from a fraction of the efforts.
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I Want to Thank You
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Fulfillment
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Alec MacGillis’ Fulfillment is not another inside account or exposé of our most conspicuously dominant company. Rather, it is a literary investigation of the America that falls within that company’s growing shadow. As MacGillis shows, Amazon’s sprawling network of delivery hubs, data centers, and corporate campuses epitomizes a land where winner and loser cities and regions are drifting steadily apart, the civic fabric is unraveling, and work has become increasingly rudimentary and isolated.
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Missing some important angles
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It's Not About the Money
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You deserve to live your dream life. Mastering your finances and learning how to use your money to create that life is a nonnegotiable, because let’s be honest: life costs money. The good news is that you can create a money plan that you actually enjoy sticking to—one that allows you to build wealth while spending guilt-free on a life that you love today.
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Home Run for Long Term Finances
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The Cult of Smart
- How Our Broken Education System Perpetuates Social Injustice
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- Narrated by: Sean Patrick Hopkins
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Performance
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Everyone agrees that education is the key to creating a more just and equal world, and that our schools are broken and failing. Proposed reforms variously target incompetent teachers, corrupt union practices, or outdated curricula, but no one acknowledges a scientifically-proven fact that we all understand intuitively: academic potential varies between individuals, and cannot be dramatically improved.
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Part of the Content from Human Diversity
- By Amazon Customer on 10-28-20
By: Fredrik deBoer
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Mastering the Stoic Way of Life
- By: Andreas Athanas
- Narrated by: Eric Colvin
- Length: 3 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Mastering the Stoic Way of Life: Improve Your Mental Toughness, Self-Discipline, and Productivity with Ancient Stoic Wisdom will quickly become your go-to guide on your journey to a stoic life. Not only will you learn the fascinating history of stoicism and its greatest teachers, you will also encounter practical examples and real-world situations that will allow you to apply the ideals of stoicism even in today’s society.
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Mastering your own Stoic Way of Life
- By CowboyBill on 05-09-21
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Don't Worry
- 48 Lessons on Relieving Anxiety from a Zen Buddhist Monk
- By: Shunmyo Masuno, Allison Markin Powell - translator
- Narrated by: Douglas Hachiya
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
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Think of a time when you were worried about something, but then you suddenly realized how insignificant it was. Isn’t it amazing how much lighter you felt? The key is to focus only on the here and now. By doing so, you free yourself from unnecessary anxiety, and your mind will be at peace.
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Splendidly informative, interesting, provocative,
- By William R. Todd-Mancillas (Name includes hyphen and capitalized M). on 08-07-24
By: Shunmyo Masuno, and others
What listeners say about Listen Like You Mean It
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Alan Berg
- 08-17-23
Loved this book
I really enjoyed this book, and wish I had heard about it and read it many years ago. There are so many great tips and aha moments for personal and business conversations and relationships. This is going on my recommendation list to my friends and clients.
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- Larry S. Ray
- 05-14-23
Good Read
This was a great, educational read (listen). I was able to see tendencies in my listening habits, provided me with awareness.
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- Konie
- 04-09-22
Isolating Introvert
I'm making poster size charts to put on a wall at home so we can get better at relationship. It does trickle into all areas wherever people are. My family didn't communicate well, lots of abuse and mental illness too.I am having to learn to connect with others instead of isolate. This has truly helped me gain confidence. Love that she included charts and visuals to remember key points to apply immediately.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Sheen
- 07-12-23
Great way to explore communication
This book is such a great way to explore more if your communication skills and how to go about certain situations, especially work
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