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The Confidence Gap
A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
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Narrated by:
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Graeme Malcolm
About this listen
Too many of us miss out on opportunities in life because we lack self-confidence. Whether it's public speaking, taking on a leadership role, or asking someone for a date, there are situations in which we just don't feel equipped to handle the challenges we face. Russ Harris offers a surprising solution to low self-confidence, shyness, and insecurity: Rather than trying to "get over" our fears, he says, the secret is to form a new and wiser relationship with them. Paradoxically, it's only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness that we begin to find lasting freedom from it. Drawing on the techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a cutting-edge form of cognitive-behavioral therapy, The Confidence Gap explains how to: Free yourself from common misconceptions about what confidence is and how to build it; transform your relationship with fear and anxiety; clarify your core values and use them as your inspiration and motivation; use mindfulness to effectively handle negative thoughts and feelings.
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Editorial review
By Seth Hartman, Audible Editor
THE CONFIDENCE GAP HELPS YOU GROW AT YOUR OWN PACE
In a sea of compelling and well-researched books focused on self-betterment, The Confidence Gap offers one of the most earnest and achievable goals. In terms of pure personal impact, Russ Harris’s words left a strong impression on me and continue to affect my life.
I tend to be pretty skeptical when authors attempt to change my mindset. When it comes to books that make promises like this, I am more of a "guilty until proven innocent" type of guy. This book, however, really did reframe some of my most foundational qualities. Adopting clinically proven techniques from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Harris seeks to rewrite our relationships with our own anxieties and limitations.
A psychotherapist and a medical doctor, Dr. Harris believes that we are misusing what he considers to be some of our most useful instincts. He advises that attempting to apply brute force to insecurities will generally not only end in failure and frustration, but can even create a worse relationship to that particular feeling. At first, I did not understand where he was taking this point, but Harris quickly offers an elegant solution. Rather than seeing my weaknesses as a burden, I could instead apply them as assets to tackle life’s greatest obstacles. This is no snake oil pitch, as all of Dr. Harris’s claims are backed up by verified Acceptance and Commitment Therapy research.
Dr. Harris’s pragmatic approach to self-development really resonated with me. I am not the kind of person who believes in quick fixes, and that is not what The Confidence Gap offers. Rather than relying on a gimmicks and, ultimately, skimming the surface of self-confidence, Harris challenged me to look within myself, identify what I believe is holding me back, and then make it my ally. As I know from experience, this process requires work—luckily, this book comes with plenty of exercises to help its many lessons sink in. After investing time and effort in The Confidence Gap, I have found that I look at my own limitations with a deeper understanding and with something resembling fondness.
While any fan of self-development media will likely enjoy this book, I think this is an especially good one for skeptics like me. Dr. Harris makes no bones about some of life's most difficult hurdles. He knows that there are countless self-help titles out there, and he does not attempt to compete with them by spewing the same mantras we have all heard countless times. This is self-development for people who recognize their blemishes and personal hang-ups. Rather than seeking to fix your life in one go, Harris will guide you to instill values that are designed to help build confidence from the ground up.
Continue reading Seth's review >
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S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On)
- The Straight-Talking Guide to Creating and Enjoying a Brilliant Life
- By: Paul McGee
- Narrated by: Paul McGee
- Length: 4 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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S.U.M.O. stands for Shut Up, Move On. It's a phrase to say to ourselves (and sometimes others) when we are acting or thinking in a way that is hindering our ability to succeed. It doesn't necessarily mean "get over it" or "pull yourself together" (although there may be occasions when both responses are necessary): "Shut Up" means stop what you're doing, take time out to reflect, let go of baggage and beliefs that hinder your potential; "Move On" means tomorrow can be different from today, look for new possibilities, don't just think about it, take action.
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Exellent :-)
- By Aina on 10-14-12
By: Paul McGee
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Curious?
- By: Todd Kashdan
- Narrated by: Todd Kashdan
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
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Dead cats. That's the image many people conjure up when you mention curiosity. An image perpetuated by a dusty old proverb that has long represented the extent of our understanding of the term. This book might not put the proverb to rest, but it will flip it upside down: far from killing anything, curiosity breathes new life into almost everything it touches.
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Transformative & Engaging
- By Hans on 04-29-09
By: Todd Kashdan
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Make Peace with Your Mind
- How Mindfulness and Compassion Can Free You from Your Inner Critic
- By: Mark Coleman
- Narrated by: Mark Coleman
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
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The inner critic is the voice inside our heads reminding us that we are never "good enough". It's behind the insidious thoughts that can make us second-guess our every action and doubt our own value. The inner critic might feel overpowering, but it can be managed effectively. Meditation teacher and therapist Mark Coleman helps listeners understand and free themselves from the inner critic using the tools of mindfulness and compassion.
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Life changing!
- By Lisa Ackerman on 12-28-20
By: Mark Coleman
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Brainblocks
- Overcoming the 7 Hidden Barriers to Success
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Brainblocks are the mental obstacles that keep people from achieving success, defined as setting, pursuing, and achieving a goal. Managing the brain is the solution to preventing mental blocks from interfering with achieving your goals.
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Not worth my time
- By John W. Bates on 11-03-15
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Good Vibes, Good Life
- How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness
- By: Vex King
- Narrated by: Kaushal
- Length: 4 hrs and 40 mins
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Discover the power of self-love and transform your life with beloved spiritual teacher Vex King, as featured on The Sunday Times' Top 100 bestselling books of the past 50 years in the UK.
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Insipid. Absolutely rehashed
- By Ljw on 04-22-21
By: Vex King
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Building Unstoppable Self-Confidence for Teens
- The Fail-Safe Formula for Finding Yourself, Overcoming Limitations and Creating Your Best Life from the Inside Out
- By: Derek T Freeman
- Narrated by: William Romano-Pugh
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You already have the key to unlocking your real personality and fearlessly creating your authentic life free of labels and comparisons–you just need to be shown how. Whether you’re a nerd or a jock, an overachiever or an underachiever, a loner or an outcast, that is not your entire identity. It’s just one tiny part of the vast you.
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Packed with helpful information for teens
- By Janet Garcia on 04-24-23
By: Derek T Freeman
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Life as Sport
- What Top Athletes Can Teach You About How to Win in Life
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In Life as Sport, sport psychologist Dr. Jonathan Fader shares the skills that he teaches professional athletes - to enhance motivation, set productive goals, sharpen routines, manage stress, and clarify thought processes - and applies them to real-world situations. Dr. Fader's audiobook is the product of thousands of hours of conversations with athletes from various teams and sports.
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Great book
- By EH on 04-08-23
By: Jonathan Fader
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I Heart Me
- By: David R. Hamilton PhD
- Narrated by: David R. Hamilton PhD
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
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How much love do you have for yourself? Not the narcissistic "aren't I wonderful?" kind of love but the essential regard for self that empowers you and helps you navigate through life. The type of love that enables you to feel safe and secure in who you are and inspires you to make choices that are good for your authentic self. When scientist David Hamilton realized that his own lack of self-love was sabotaging him in hundreds of subtle ways and more than a handful of major ways, he devised an experiment using himself as the guinea pig.
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Pretty much the only self improvement/personal growth book you’ll need
- By Myn on 10-07-18
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If you're looking for ways to optimize your client sessions, consider joining the many thousands of therapists and life coaches worldwide who are learning acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). With a focus on mindfulness, client values, and a commitment to change, ACT is proven-effective in treating depression, anxiety, stress, addictions, eating disorders, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder (BPD), and myriad other psychological issues. It's also a revolutionary new way to view the human condition.
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What listeners say about The Confidence Gap
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Turtle Vision
- 07-05-17
Changed my life, really.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has changed my life, and this was the audiobook that introduced me to it. The practices of ACT have dug me out of several deep holes in my life already.
When I listened to this audiobook about a year ago, I had listened to a few audiobooks about confidence already, but this was the first one that made intuitive sense to me. I trusted the advice given, maybe because I have a background with practicing Buddhist meditation, so the mindfulness advice aligned with my beliefs.
Learning about "experiential avoidance" is what really changed my life, because I realized it was exactly what I was doing. This book helped me recognize my self-sabotaging patterns and change them.
In addition to this book, the other audiobook that really helped introduce me to ACT was "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Stephen C Hayes. I recommend that audiobook, too.
One of the best foundational pieces of advice from this book, which I will remember forever: "The actions of confidence come first, the feelings of confidence come later."
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100 people found this helpful
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- Susie
- 07-09-15
No Secrets Here
What's your favorite flavor of self-help? Not for me the magical thinking of "The Secret," or the faux-religiousity of "The Four Agreements." The constant vigil to think positive makes me run screaming, though if they help you, great.
Russ Harris is a guru for the pessimist set. Mindfulness without the affirmations. There's no magic here. But there are plenty of thought exercises to help you accept yourself and to make your best decisions, sitting with your anxieties and fear, but seeing past them.
Solid helpful advice along with Graeme Malcolm's effortless narration that makes you feel you're in safe hands. This is just my cup of tea.
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96 people found this helpful
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- Matt
- 04-16-15
Increadibly insightful, life changing!
Finally, the missing piece of the puzzle! So much different from the last book I listened to on confidence, this author has a deep understanding of the topic and doesn't give you the same old "be positive" and "believe in yourself" crap you've heard over and over again. I'm putting these strategies and new understanding to use in business and in my personal life immediately! Soooo thankful I came across this book, where have you been my whole adult life? The information I've gained on confidence, values, and fulfillment is priceless. Fantastic work!
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43 people found this helpful
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Counter intuitively brilliant.
I really enjoyed the book.
It was counterintuitive, and presented a lot of ideas that I've never heard before.
While the performance was not terribly exciting, I think the ideas have a lot of merit. This book is a contrast to a lot of self-help/motivation books.
I definitely recommend it. A worthwhile read.
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1 person found this helpful
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- sthiruv
- 08-07-18
Contrarian view
Gives you view as-is vs sugar coating. Makes it simpler to believe vs PMA books
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- Melissa
- 08-27-21
Great book!
Great book! Motivational but grounded in reality. Very helpful mental tools to use on a daily basis.
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- Daniel Dalhouse
- 09-09-21
Great audiobook with a few slips
I gave it 4 stars overall and in performance because there are chapters that are not complete, all of a sudden you notice how the chapter comes to an end without finishing the sentence/idea so that makes one feel like there's some information one is missing. Other than that, you'll have a lot of takeaways from this audiobook that are sincere and feel natural, not forced.
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- Molly
- 06-17-21
One of those books you should reread!
Outstanding book for self reflection and awareness. I’m using this strategy for myself and my employees.
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- JM1087
- 03-25-21
Great new perspective, outstanding tools
I’ve read and listened to a good amount of self-help books... but this one actually is different. There are several tools throughout this book which I’ve found very effective, mostly because of the perspective and reasoning associated with them. I think it’s essential to understand the concepts of why these tools work. They simply do and I’m happy I’ve listened to this book. Actions of confidence first, feelings of confidence comes later!
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- Burt Macklin
- 02-13-21
Great info
I loved this book. I wish I had read it back in my 20’s. I’ll be recommending this to my kids and friends!
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