The Myths of Happiness
What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does
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Narrated by:
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Kathy Keane
About this listen
Happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research-based lessons in how to find opportunity in life’s thorniest moments.
In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky isolates the major turning points of adult life, looking to both achievements (marriage, children, professional satisfaction, wealth) and failures (singlehood, divorce, financial ruin, illness) to reveal that our misconceptions about the impact of such events is perhaps the greatest threat to our long-term well-being.
Lyubomirsky argues that we have been given false promises - myths that assure us that lifelong happiness will be attained once we hit the culturally confirmed markers of adult success. This restricted view of happiness works to discourage us from recognizing the upside of any negative life turn and blocks us from recognizing our own growth potential. Our outsized expectations transform natural rites of passage into emotional land mines and steer us to make toxic decisions, as The Myths of Happiness reveals.
Because we expect the best (or the worst) from life's turning points, we shortsightedly place too much weight on our initial emotional responses. The Myths of Happiness empowers listeners to look beyond their first response, sharing scientific evidence that often it is our mindset - not our circumstances - that matters. Central to these findings is the notion of hedonic adaptation, the fact that people are far more adaptable than they think. Even after a major life change - good or bad - we tend to return to our initial happiness level, forgetting what once made us elated or why we felt that life was so unbearable.
The Myths of Happiness offers the perspective we need to make wiser choices, sharing how to slow the effects of this adaptation after a positive turn and find the way forward in a time of darkness.
In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky turns an empirical eye to the biggest, messiest moments, providing listeners with the clear-eyed vision they need to build the healthiest, most satisfying life. A corrective course on happiness and a call to regard life's twists and turns with a more open mind, The Myths of Happiness shares practical lessons with life-changing potential.
©2013 Sonja Lyubomirsky (P)2013 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"In this thought-provoking volume, Lyubomirsky...examines happiness and conventional notions about how it's nurtured in relationships, at work, and in one's own psyche...Lyubomirsky demonstrates that positively reframing life events can mine the best out of even the darkest situations. Provocative and fresh." (Publishers Weekly)
"Informative and engaging.... The author examines how the 'shoulds' of happiness not only undermine well-being, but also make it hard for individuals to cope with the sometimes difficult realities of adulthood." (Kirkus Reviews)
"No matter what your personal world is like, The Myths of Happiness will change the way you approach your daily life. Lyubomirsky's thorough research and practical solutions will not only add joy and contentment to your life, but will also allow you to take on issues that you may have been sweeping under the rug for too long." (Woodbury Magazine)
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Explaining the long-term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr. Winch offers concrete, easy-to-use exercises backed up by hard cutting-edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humor as well.
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insightful and delightful
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Relationship Breakthrough
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
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Based on their workshops and counseling experience, psychologists Jane B. Burka and Lenora M. Yuen offer a probing, sensitive, and at times humorous look at a problem that affects everyone: students and scientists, secretaries and executives, homemakers and salespeople. Procrastination identifies the reasons we put off tasks - fears of failure, success, control, separation, and attachment - and their roots in our childhood and adult experiences.
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Not as an audio book.
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In this playful and informative exploration of the science behind how to choose a great mate, acclaimed relationship psychologist Dr. Ty Tashiro explores how to find enduring love. Dr. Tashiro translates reams of scientific studies and research data into the first audiobook to revolutionize the way we search for love. His research pinpoints why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to choosing mates and how we can make smarter choices.
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Simplistic advice...
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The Values Factor shows you how to create a life in which every minute can be inspiring and fulfilling. The first step is to identify what you find most meaningful - the values in life that are most important to you. Once you understand your own unique values and align your life accordingly, you can achieve fulfillment in every aspect of your life: deepening your loving relationships, creating an inspiring career, establishing financial freedom, and tapping into a rich spiritual life.
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Makes you really think about your values
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horrible
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An essential guide to raising happy children from author Christine Carter, complete with tips, secrets, and strategies that will set the stage for positive emotions into adolescence and beyond.
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One of the best parenting books I have come across
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In 21 Days to Resilience, Dr. Zelana Montminy gives you a practical, concrete toolkit to develop your capacity to recover quickly. Each day of her powerful program, Dr. Montmimy introduces a key concept necessary to improve resiliency and enhance well-being - such as courage, focus, positivity, self-care, and social support - then provides three quick skills to accomplish. Throughout the book she teaches you lifelong skills you can continue to practice and return to as needed to keep your resiliency muscles strong.
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Helpful insight
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More than a million couples can't be wrong! And with this updated edition of their award-winning book, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott help you launch lifelong love like never before. This is more than an audiobook - it's an experience. Get ready for deeper intimacy with the best friend you'll ever have. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, in more than 15 languages, is the most widely used marriage prep tool in the world.
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basically just a long advertisement
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A new, comprehensive approach to help you identify, challenge, and overcome all types of worry. This empowering seven-step program, includes practical, easy-to-follow advice and techniques.
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Don't worry about buying this one
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Rethinking Positive Thinking
- Inside the New Science of Motivation
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Based on her groundbreaking research and large-scale scientific studies, Oettingen introduces a new way to visualize the future, called mental contrasting. It combines focusing on our dreams with visualizing the obstacles that stand in our way. In Rethinking Positive Thinking, Oettingen applies mental contrasting to three key areas of personal change - becoming healthier, nurturing personal and professional relationships, and performing better at work.
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Simply unimpressive
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Happier Now
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What if you could be happier, right now, without radically changing your life? As nationally recognized happiness expert Nataly Kogan teaches, happiness is not a nice feeling or a frivolous extra. It’s a critical, non-negotiable ingredient for living a fulfilling, meaningful, and healthy life - and it's a skill that we can all learn and improve through practice. In Happier Now, Nataly shares an illuminating, inspiring, and science-based guide to help you build your happier skills and live with more joy, starting now.
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This book will turn your life around ... TODAY!
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
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What listeners say about The Myths of Happiness
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- BlueFlamingo
- 09-14-15
Completely Mind Blowing
I love the contents of the book so much I think it should be required for every single person on the planet to read. Please listen to it everybody. You'll be so much happier than you think you could ever be!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Helen
- 03-18-13
Loved it!
Would you listen to The Myths of Happiness again? Why?
There is so much to pay attention to in this book. I'm sure each time I'll pick up more insight and more action-oriented tips.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Graeme Newell
- 02-23-19
Good Practical Advice
This book provides a refreshing new vantage point on the major turning points of adult life: marriage, children, career, wealth. It also shows new strategies for dealing with life’s failures: singlehood, divorce, financial problems, illness, etc. The author reveals some major misconceptions about the impact good and bad events will have on long-term well-being.
Lyubomirsky argues that the path-of-life narrative we all learned is simply not realistic. We’ve all been assured that happiness and fulfillment will be attained once we hit the culturally anointed markers of success.
The good news is that the research shows that things typically work out better than you might think. People who don’t find their soulmate, live on tight budgets, experience serious health challenges, and don’t attain career success still have pretty great lives. It’s usually our expectations that make us miserable, not the actual circumstances of the situation.
In the book she draws on research to reveal new insights on how the big events of life typically play out. The highs will not be as rapturous as we think and the lows will not be as disappointing.
I found this to be a very practical book with solid strategies and new insights into the best ways to make life’s disappointments less painful and life’s successes more long lasting.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Daniel S. McCeary
- 06-06-17
Very informative
book is very informative and sheds a lot of light on our conditioning and what we perceive as happiness I love the fact that a lot of the information that is given and a lot of the opinions are given art stated at that moment as it's just an opinion or these are scientific facts and that these are merely suggestions and not a recipe for happiness but a guide
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- Theresa
- 01-17-18
Happiness
Perspective brings it down to earth. Reality and our peceptions. A good read when you've lost your way in this over scheduled busy world.
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- Janaina
- 04-09-21
Great book
I study Positive Psychology so it was really great reading this book because it’s so into all the concepts and ideas of PP.
But even if are just a little interested in recent studies on happiness, just read this with and opened heart. It might change the way you see things.
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- Bianca
- 11-23-20
Please read this book.
Really changes your personal perspective of life. Gives you great advice that is backed up by science. Not a bunch of useless jargon. Seriously, it’s worth the read.
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- shivels
- 05-30-23
Excellent book with a powerful message
This book is an incredible book. Easy to read covers in many different aspects of life situations, and shows positivity throughout her.
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- A
- 01-13-16
A different take on a timeless subject
Definitely worth a listen. As a self-help book junkie, I listen quite frequently to books in this vein. This one manages to break the mold, and provides a lot of straightforward advice that I hadn't encountered in the dozens of other books on the subject. Insightful, no-nonsense, and surprising at times, it's far more useful than the others with the inevitable "start a gratitude journal/do something once a day that scares you" tumblr-meme level advice.
If you're looking for something more analytical regarding how life-contentment works, this is a great one to pick up.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Amy
- 03-10-19
good but not 100 for me
struggled to finish but was still interesting to the first half then just wast for me after
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