
The Weight of Air
A Story of the Lies About Addiction and the Truth About Recovery
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Narrated by:
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Charlie Thurston
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By:
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David Poses
About this listen
While his wife and two-year-old daughter watched TV in the living room, David Poses was in the kitchen, measuring the distance from his index finger to his armpit. He needed to be sure he could pull the trigger with a shotgun barrel in his mouth. Twenty-six inches. Thirty-two years old. More than a decade in a double life fueled by depression and heroin.
In his groundbreaking memoir, The Weight of Air, David chronicles his struggle to overcome mental illness and addiction. By age 19, he'd been through medical detox, inpatient rehab, 12-step programs, and a halfway house. He saw his drug use as a symptom of depression, but the experts insisted that addiction was the problem. Over the next 13 years, he went from one relapse to the next, drowning in guilt, shame, and secrets, until he finally found an evidence-based treatment that not only saved his life, but helped him thrive.
With grit, humor, and brutal honesty, David's story exposes the danger in traditional recovery models: They actually increase stigma and the risk of overdose, relapse, and death. As depression and addiction rates skyrocket and overdose fatalities surge, The Weight of Air is a scathing indictment of our failed response to the opioid crisis-and proof that success is possible.
©2021 David Poses (P)2021 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Sexual assault, addiction, and other traumatic experiences can leave both physical and emotional scars. For Jennifer Storm, these scars serve as a reminder - both of the darkness and suffering she once experienced, and of how far she has come. Blackout Girl is the heartbreaking, enlightening, and inspiring story of Jennifer's narrow escape from her own self-destructive instincts when all of the odds, and systems, were stacked against her.
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Amazing for those in recovery and have SA trauma
- By Taylor on 03-29-25
By: Jennifer Storm
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Girl Walks Out of a Bar
- A Memoir
- By: Lisa F. Smith
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Lisa Smith was a bright young lawyer at a prestigious law firm in New York City when alcoholism and drug addiction took over her life. What was once a way she escaped her insecurity and negativity as a teenager became a means of coping with the anxiety and stress of an impossible workload. Girl Walks Out of a Bar explores Smith's formative years, her decade of alcohol and drug abuse, divorce, and her road to recovery.
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A Good Look At The Dual-Diagnosis...
- By Gillian on 06-14-17
By: Lisa F. Smith
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Killing Season
- A Paramedic's Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Opioid Epidemic
- By: Peter Canning
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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When Peter Canning started work as a paramedic on the streets of Hartford, Connecticut, 25 years ago, he believed drug users were victims only of their own character flaws. Although he took care of them, he did not care for them. But as the overdoses escalated, Canning began asking his patients how they had gotten started on their perilous journeys. And while no two tales were the same, their heartrending similarities changed Canning's view and moved him to educate himself about the science of addiction.
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Very Informative
- By HJones on 11-24-24
By: Peter Canning
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The Bitter Taste of Dying
- A Memoir
- By: Jason Smith
- Narrated by: Paul Costanzo
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In his first book, author Jason Smith explores the depravity and desperation required to maintain an opiate addiction so fierce, he finds himself jumping continents to avoid jail time and learns the hard way that some demons cannot be outrun. While teaching in Europe, he meets a prostitute who secures drugs for him at the dangerous price of helping out the Russian Mafia; in China he gets his Percocet and Xanax fixes but terrifies a crowd of children and parents at his job in the process.
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The Amazing Race on narcotics
- By Midwestbonsai on 07-07-16
By: Jason Smith
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In Deep
- How I Survived Gangs, Heroin, and Prison to Become a Chicago Violence Interrupter
- By: Angalia Bianca, Linda Beckstrom, Kevin Gates - foreword, and others
- Narrated by: Christina Delaine
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Before Angalia Bianca became one of Chicago's foremost authorities on violence interruption and prevention, receiving international recognition and a Resolution for Bravery from the City of Chicago, she was a criminal, a master manipulator, and a brilliant con artist. Bianca spent 12 years in prison for forgery, embezzlement, drug dealing, and theft. But now she has gone far beyond the expectations for recovery to a life of service fueled by an unrelenting determination to make a difference.
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An apology for her life
- By LySa on 12-27-18
By: Angalia Bianca, and others
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My Friend Leonard
- By: James Frey
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Perhaps the most unconventional and literally breathtaking father-son story you'll ever read, My Friend Leonard pulls you immediately and deeply into a relationship as unusual as it is inspiring. The father figure is Leonard, the high-living, recovering coke addict, "West Coast Director of a large Italian-American finance firm" (read: mobster) who helped to keep James Frey clean in A Million Little Pieces.
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Great book
- By Kathy on 11-04-05
By: James Frey
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Lost in Ghost Town
- A Memoir of Addiction, Redemption, and Hope in Unlikely Places
- By: Carder Stout
- Narrated by: Brian Hutchison
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Carder Stout's clientele includes Oscar-, Golden Globe-, Emmy-, Tony- and Grammy-winners, best-selling authors, and billionaires. He may not be able to share their dark secrets, but for the first time, everyone will know his. At the age of 34, Carder would have gladly pawned the silver spoon he was born choking on for a rock of crack. His downfall was as swift as his privilege was vast - or had he been falling all along?
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Dark and deep
- By Mr. Avid on 03-31-20
By: Carder Stout
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I Am a Heroin Addict
- By: Ritchie Farrell
- Narrated by: Steven Jay Cohen
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Heroin is a Beast, and that Beast has infiltrated every town and city in America. The Beast has come for your sons and daughters. The Beast is hunting for your fathers and mothers. And that Beast has only one mission, to bury as many Americans as possible. I Am a Heroin Addict is the story of how Ritchie Farrell survived a ten-bag-a-day heroin habit to become a best-selling author, WGA screenwriter, and recipient of the prestigious du-Pont-Columbia Award for excellence in journalism.
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Well done!
- By dmcstudent on 10-30-18
By: Ritchie Farrell
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Damaged Goods
- A Memoir
- By: Shelley Louise
- Narrated by: Jeanne Scurek
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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This is a deeply personal story of a young woman’s journey through addiction; the loss of her child’s father through an overdose, her mother’s suicide, and the tragic consequences that those lifestyle choices bring. At 15, Shelley was submerged into the seedy world of the red-light district of Honolulu. As the warm-up act for the strippers, she became a topless dancer only to discover she was not emotionally prepared for the lewd attention. Pills and heroin helped her to cope with a lifestyle that was beyond her years.
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The narration was tough to listen to. The story was interesting but I had to stop listening mid way through.
- By Amazon Customer on 03-28-25
By: Shelley Louise
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Saving Jake
- When Addiction Hits Home
- By: D'Anne Burwell
- Narrated by: Morgan Hallett
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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D'Anne Burwell's smart, athletic son - raised in a loving and prosperous home - begins abusing OxyContin as a teenager, and within a year drops out of college, walks out of rehab, and lands homeless on the streets of Boulder. Struggling with fear, guilt, and a desperate need to protect her son, D'Anne grapples with her husband's anger and her daughter's depression as the family disease of addiction impacts them all. She discovers the terrifying links between prescription-drug abuse and skyrocketing heroin use.
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An honest look at a mother’s journey into her son’s addiction battle
- By Amazon Customer on 07-16-20
By: D'Anne Burwell
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Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- By: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrated by: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- By Allison M. Billet on 04-06-23
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Smashed
- Story of a Drunken Girlhood
- By: Koren Zailckas
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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From earliest experimentation to habitual excess to full-blown abuse, 24-year-old Koren Zailckas leads us through her experience of a terrifying trend among young girls, exploring how binge drinking becomes routine, how it becomes "the usual". With the stylistic freshness of a poet and the dramatic gifts of a novelist, Zailckas describes her first sip at 14, alcohol poisoning at 16, blacked-out sexual experience at 19, and total disorientation after waking up in an unfamiliar New York City apartment at 22.
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Smashed
- By John Riggs on 07-14-05
By: Koren Zailckas
What listeners say about The Weight of Air
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-30-22
An Important Book
I struggled to finish this book, but am glad I did as the message is a vital one for addicts and their families.
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- Torfeh Rejali
- 10-20-24
Excellent
Just finished listening to the audiobook. The story was so honest, and important. I am in the mental health field and thankfully medication assisted treatment is becoming more available and accepted as a best practice for treatment of heroin. I was so sad to see that Poses died a few years ago. Such a tragedy. But he clearly made the world better by sharing his experiences during his short life.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-07-25
Wow.
This book was both eye opening and earth shattering. If there were 8 stars to give- I would.
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- KImberley
- 11-12-23
Great book!
Fantastic account of substance use disorder and recovery! You will help many! Great job sir! And, thank you! :)
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- Eric Earle
- 11-02-23
Excellent!
Hard to put down. As someone living in the recovery world, Ifound it spot on!
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- Shevaun Bastarache
- 02-12-23
A brutally honest recovery memoir
It’s high time (pun intended) that the standard narrative of abstinence only recovery is challenged. Opiate addicts benefit from medication assisted recovery. Stop shaming those on buprenorphene - it works and it saves lives.
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- J. Barnes
- 12-21-22
Wish I’d read this book sooner
Unfortunately my son overdosed. Wish I’d read this book sooner. He was on methadone, and stigmatized
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- Ashley
- 08-30-23
Finally, the truth
Finally, a truthful story about drugs and the people that do them. Especially when you are still participating in the world/living life. You don't always end up in the gutter. And the ending had me cheering. Drugs can ruin your life , yeah . But so can gambling , drinking, shopping too much etc. Drug users don't corner the market on ruining their lives because they do drugs. And I absolutely agree that alcohol is much worse. Also, parenting matters. The way you treat your kids, talk to your kids matter. Childhood trauma isn't always being beaten or neglected in a physical sense. Divorce, inconsistent parenting, narcissism, enabling, codependency, favoritism, etc, all affect kids as they are growing up. In these cases, they will turn to anything to help them feel better, be it food, sex, drugs, shopping, or anything. If they have resources and self-awareness, they may go into therapy and work through their "stuff,...but more often than not, it goes the other way.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-07-22
Wow he is so real snd raw, loved it!
I loved this book, it is easy to follow and touches all of the bases on addiction.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sommer Nicole Smith
- 02-20-22
Truthful and relatable
David recounts his life struggling with addiction and mental health in a way that I think many will relate to. He covers how traditional rehabilitation and faith based programs lack any medical ground and "bandaid" the addiction rather than the root.
David felt like a friend.
I just learned of his passing and I am heartbroken. I am so proud of him and his work.
I may be shouting into the ether, but thank you, David, for reminding so many of us that we are not alone.
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1 person found this helpful