The Weight of Air
A Story of the Lies About Addiction and the Truth About Recovery
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Narrated by:
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Charlie Thurston
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By:
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David Poses
About this listen
While his wife and two-year-old daughter watched TV in the living room, David Poses was in the kitchen, measuring the distance from his index finger to his armpit. He needed to be sure he could pull the trigger with a shotgun barrel in his mouth. Twenty-six inches. Thirty-two years old. More than a decade in a double life fueled by depression and heroin.
In his groundbreaking memoir, The Weight of Air, David chronicles his struggle to overcome mental illness and addiction. By age 19, he'd been through medical detox, inpatient rehab, 12-step programs, and a halfway house. He saw his drug use as a symptom of depression, but the experts insisted that addiction was the problem. Over the next 13 years, he went from one relapse to the next, drowning in guilt, shame, and secrets, until he finally found an evidence-based treatment that not only saved his life, but helped him thrive.
With grit, humor, and brutal honesty, David's story exposes the danger in traditional recovery models: They actually increase stigma and the risk of overdose, relapse, and death. As depression and addiction rates skyrocket and overdose fatalities surge, The Weight of Air is a scathing indictment of our failed response to the opioid crisis-and proof that success is possible.
©2021 David Poses (P)2021 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Barely 30, Lynette is exhausted. Saddled with bad credit and juggling multiple jobs, some illegally, she’s been diligently working to buy the house she lives in with her mother and developmentally disabled brother Kenny. Portland’s housing prices have nearly quadrupled in 15 years, and the owner is giving them a good deal. Lynette knows it’s their last best chance to own their own home - and obtain the security they’ve never had. While she has enough for the down payment, she needs her mother to cover the rest of the asking price.
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Willy knows tragedy
- By Phil Bailey on 08-03-21
By: Willy Vlautin
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I Am Not Myself These Days
- A Memoir
- By: Josh Kilmer-Purcell
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I Am Not Myself These Days follows a glittering journey through Manhattan's dark underbelly---a shocking and surreal world where alter egos reign and subsist (barely) on dark wit and chemicals...a tragic romantic comedy where one begins by rooting for the survival of the relationship and ends by hoping someone simply survives.
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depressing
- By Barry Morrison on 08-02-16
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Lit
- A Memoir
- By: Mary Karr
- Narrated by: Mary Karr
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lit follows Mary Karr's descent into the inferno of alcoholism and madness - and her astonishing resurrection. Karr's longing for a solid family seems secure when her marriage to a handsome, Shakespeare-quoting poet produces a son they adore. But she can't outrun her apocalyptic past. She drinks herself into the same numbness that nearly devoured her charismatic but troubled mother, reaching the brink of suicide. A hair-raising stint in "The Mental Marriott" awakens her to the possibility of joy, and leads her to an unlikely faith.
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Finally! One for the "Win" column
- By Kim on 03-22-10
By: Mary Karr
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Chanel Bonfire
- By: Wendy Lawless
- Narrated by: Wendy Lawless
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
By the time Wendy Lawless turned 17, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.... Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She went through men like Kleenex, and didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
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Not an Engaging Listen
- By Sobriquet on 03-13-13
By: Wendy Lawless
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May We Be Forgiven
- By: A. M. Homes
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 20 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
May We Be Forgiven, a darkly comic novel of 21st-century domestic life, stars Harold Silver, a historian who's always been jealous of his successful brother, George. But when the hot-tempered George is institutionalized for committing a violent act, Harold finds himself comforting his brother's wife and children. What follows is a scathing examination of a family so fractured it may never be whole again.
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Give this one a try!
- By JWB on 02-13-13
By: A. M. Homes
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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Jerry Stahl, Nic Sheff - foreword
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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Strong Motion
- By: Jonathan Franzen
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 20 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Louis Holland arrives in Boston in a spring of ecological upheaval (a rash of earthquakes on the North Shore) and odd luck: the first one kills his grandmother. Louis tries to maintain his independence, but falls in love with a Harvard seismologist whose discoveries about the earthquakes' cause complicate everything.
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Compelling Story, Ridiculous Narrator
- By DianeReads on 02-28-16
By: Jonathan Franzen
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She's Come Undone
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: Linda Stephens
- Length: 18 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meet Dolores Price. She's 13, wise-mouthed but wounded, having bid her childhood goodbye. Beached like a whale in front of her bedroom TV, she spends the next few years nourishing herself with the Mallomars, potato chips, and Pepsi her anxious mother supplies. When she finally rolls into young womanhood at 257 pounds, Dolores is no stronger and life is no kinder. But this time she's determined to rise to the occasion and give herself one more chance before really going belly-up.
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Really disappointing narrator!
- By Jessica Williams on 01-21-12
By: Wally Lamb
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Summer Hours
- A Novel
- By: Amy Mason Doan
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Becc was the good girl. A dedicated student. Aspiring reporter. Always where she was supposed to be. Until a secret affair with the charming Cal one summer in college cost her everything she held dear: her journalism dreams; her relationship with her best friend, Eric; and her carefully imagined future. Now, Becc’s past is back front and center as she travels up the scenic California coast to a wedding - with a man she hasn’t seen in a decade. As each mile flies by, Becc can’t help but feel the thrilling push and pull of memories.
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LOVED IT
- By Margaret on 04-30-20
By: Amy Mason Doan
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Please Ignore Vera Dietz
- By: A. S. King
- Narrated by: Lynde Houck
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Vera’s spent her whole life secretly in love with her best friend, Charlie Kahn. And over the years she’s kept a lot of his secrets. Even after he betrayed her. Even after he ruined everything. So when Charlie dies in dark circumstances, Vera knows a lot more than anyone - the kids at school, his family, even the police. But will she emerge to clear his name? Does she even want to? Edgy and gripping, Please Ignore Vera Dietz is an unforgettable novel: Smart, funny, dramatic, and always surprising.
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Moving, disturbing, and humorous
- By Julie on 08-26-11
By: A. S. King
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He Came in with It
- A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness
- By: Miriam Feldman
- Narrated by: Ann Richardson
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens off the conventional course. Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal.
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So Beautifully Written
- By Michael on 08-01-22
By: Miriam Feldman
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Smashed
- Story of a Drunken Girlhood
- By: Koren Zailckas
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From earliest experimentation to habitual excess to full-blown abuse, 24-year-old Koren Zailckas leads us through her experience of a terrifying trend among young girls, exploring how binge drinking becomes routine, how it becomes "the usual". With the stylistic freshness of a poet and the dramatic gifts of a novelist, Zailckas describes her first sip at 14, alcohol poisoning at 16, blacked-out sexual experience at 19, and total disorientation after waking up in an unfamiliar New York City apartment at 22.
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Smashed
- By John Riggs on 07-14-05
By: Koren Zailckas
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Khalil Rafati went to Los Angeles in the 1990s and had it all. He was working with Hollywood movie stars and legendary rock musicians, but it wasn't long before he found his way into the dark underbelly of the City of Angels. When he hit rock bottom-addicted to heroin and cocaine, overtaken by paranoia and psychosis, written off by his friends and family - he grabbed a shovel and kept digging. So how does someone with nothing, who feels like they deserve nothing, and who just wants to end it all turn their life around?
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Memoir Synopsis “That evening I wanted to go to a teenage party, and I wanted to drink alcohol, the grownup beverage of choice, the potion glamorized on TV and in movies, the stuff the older cool kids were drinking every weekend. I wanted to be cool. I wanted to fit in. Whatever it took.” She was attractive, popular and determined to grow up in a hurry. How would she have known that at age thirteen, during her first teenage drinking party, her life would play out in such a way that it would rule her life decisions going forward? The handsome boys and pretty girls were guzzling a certain...
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To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. Allen Berger explores the 12 most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery.
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The single glass of wine with dinner... the cold beer on a hot day... the champagne flute raised in a toast... what I'd drink if Hunter S. Thompson wanted to get wasted with me... these are my fantasies lately. Too bad I've gone sober. When Sacha Z. Scoblic was drinking, she was a rock star; the days were rough and the nights filled with laughter and blackouts. Then she gave it up. She had to. Here are her adventures in an utterly and maddeningly sober world... and how she discovered that nothing is as odd and fantastic as life without a drink in hand.
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This is an honest, upfront, relatable account of one suburban housewife's journey from miserable wine-soaked boozer to self-respecting sober lady. This audiobook is an inspirational tale of self-transformation, addiction, and domesticity.
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Very Enjoyable
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From earliest experimentation to habitual excess to full-blown abuse, 24-year-old Koren Zailckas leads us through her experience of a terrifying trend among young girls, exploring how binge drinking becomes routine, how it becomes "the usual". With the stylistic freshness of a poet and the dramatic gifts of a novelist, Zailckas describes her first sip at 14, alcohol poisoning at 16, blacked-out sexual experience at 19, and total disorientation after waking up in an unfamiliar New York City apartment at 22.
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Smashed
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In his first book, author Jason Smith explores the depravity and desperation required to maintain an opiate addiction so fierce, he finds himself jumping continents to avoid jail time and learns the hard way that some demons cannot be outrun. While teaching in Europe, he meets a prostitute who secures drugs for him at the dangerous price of helping out the Russian Mafia; in China he gets his Percocet and Xanax fixes but terrifies a crowd of children and parents at his job in the process.
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What listeners say about The Weight of Air
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-30-22
An Important Book
I struggled to finish this book, but am glad I did as the message is a vital one for addicts and their families.
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- Torfeh Rejali
- 10-20-24
Excellent
Just finished listening to the audiobook. The story was so honest, and important. I am in the mental health field and thankfully medication assisted treatment is becoming more available and accepted as a best practice for treatment of heroin. I was so sad to see that Poses died a few years ago. Such a tragedy. But he clearly made the world better by sharing his experiences during his short life.
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- Shevaun Bastarache
- 02-12-23
A brutally honest recovery memoir
It’s high time (pun intended) that the standard narrative of abstinence only recovery is challenged. Opiate addicts benefit from medication assisted recovery. Stop shaming those on buprenorphene - it works and it saves lives.
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- KImberley
- 11-12-23
Great book!
Fantastic account of substance use disorder and recovery! You will help many! Great job sir! And, thank you! :)
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- Eric Earle
- 11-02-23
Excellent!
Hard to put down. As someone living in the recovery world, Ifound it spot on!
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- J. Barnes
- 12-21-22
Wish I’d read this book sooner
Unfortunately my son overdosed. Wish I’d read this book sooner. He was on methadone, and stigmatized
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- Ashley
- 08-30-23
Finally, the truth
Finally, a truthful story about drugs and the people that do them. Especially when you are still participating in the world/living life. You don't always end up in the gutter. And the ending had me cheering. Drugs can ruin your life , yeah . But so can gambling , drinking, shopping too much etc. Drug users don't corner the market on ruining their lives because they do drugs. And I absolutely agree that alcohol is much worse. Also, parenting matters. The way you treat your kids, talk to your kids matter. Childhood trauma isn't always being beaten or neglected in a physical sense. Divorce, inconsistent parenting, narcissism, enabling, codependency, favoritism, etc, all affect kids as they are growing up. In these cases, they will turn to anything to help them feel better, be it food, sex, drugs, shopping, or anything. If they have resources and self-awareness, they may go into therapy and work through their "stuff,...but more often than not, it goes the other way.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-07-22
Wow he is so real snd raw, loved it!
I loved this book, it is easy to follow and touches all of the bases on addiction.
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- Sommer Nicole Smith
- 02-20-22
Truthful and relatable
David recounts his life struggling with addiction and mental health in a way that I think many will relate to. He covers how traditional rehabilitation and faith based programs lack any medical ground and "bandaid" the addiction rather than the root.
David felt like a friend.
I just learned of his passing and I am heartbroken. I am so proud of him and his work.
I may be shouting into the ether, but thank you, David, for reminding so many of us that we are not alone.
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- Kaylyn
- 02-22-22
An honest and humorous ‘coming of addiction’ story
Incredibly well written true story of a life long addict struggling with depression. The story, told with vulnerable honesty, is both hilarious at times and frighteningly sad. A great read to learn how addicts really respond to rehab and the improbable challenges of trying to stay clean.
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