
This Far
My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light
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Narrated by:
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Suzanne Elise Freeman
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By:
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Allison Holker
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
“A celebration of the healing power of family and dance, Holker’s memoir shows how to heal from tragedy without wrapping everything up in a neat bow.” – Library Journal
In this candid and emotional memoir, Allison Holker opens up about her incredible dance career, her relationship with Stephen “tWitch” Boss, and the resilience that has carried her forward after his death.
Allison Holker was just eighteen when she found fame as a contestant on the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. Over the next several years, she had her first child, built a successful career as a professional dancer despite the industry being hostile to working moms, and fell in love with and married fellow dancer Stephen Boss, the former hype man and DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show known for his charisma and relentless positivity. Two more children and a wealth of professional opportunities for both Allison and Stephen followed, and the Bosses appeared to be one of the great Hollywood love stories.
Then, in December 2022, Stephen took his own life, leaving Allison to wrestle with unanswered questions, haunting what-ifs, and the heartbreaking realization that Stephen’s infectious joy was hiding pain, addictions, and self-doubt deeper than anyone knew.
For the first time, Allison reveals how she has navigated the emotional and financial aftermath of Stephen’s choice, guided their three children in their grief while managing the outpouring from a well-meaning public, and reopened herself to the next chapter in her professional and personal life. A beacon of hope and comfort for anyone experiencing grief—especially unexpected loss due to suicide—Allison’s story is an honest reflection on the pain of looking back on a complicated life and the resilience required to move into the future.
©2025 Allison Holker (P)2025 Harper Select
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Story
Shari Franke’s childhood was a constant battle for survival. Her mother, Ruby Franke, enforced a severe moral code while maintaining a façade of a picture-perfect family for their wildly popular YouTube channel 8 Passengers, which documented the day-to-day life of raising six children for a staggering 2.5 million subscribers. But a darker truth lurked beneath the surface—Ruby’s wholesome online persona masked a more tyrannical parenting style than anyone could have imagined.
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A remarkable young woman!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-08-25
By: Shari Franke
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Unspeakable
- Surviving My Childhood and Finding My Voice
- By: Jessica Willis Fisher
- Narrated by: Jessica Fisher
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Using the written word as her witness statement, Jessica Willis Fisher tells a lacerating story of finding her voice after two decades of silence and an unforgettable story of risk and faith.
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"Don't tell" culture exposed
- By Angela on 11-03-22
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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The Mother Next Door
- Medicine, Deception, and Munchausen by Proxy
- By: Andrea Dunlop, Mike Weber
- Narrated by: Andrea Dunlop
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
No bond is more sacred than the one between a mother and child. And no figure is more sympathetic than a mother whose child faces a life-threatening illness. But what if the mother is the reason for the illness? What if the sympathy is the point? With help from some of the top MBP experts in the world, Dunlop and Weber uncover the complex maze of psychological, systemic, and cultural issues that compound MBP and offer solutions for how we might find our way out.
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Excellent research and narration
- By Ashli_24 on 07-07-25
By: Andrea Dunlop, and others
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Say Everything
- A Memoir
- By: Ione Skye
- Narrated by: Ione Skye
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Gen X icon Ione Skye bares all in an achingly vulnerable coming-of-age memoir about chasing fame, desire, and true love in the shadow of her famous, absent father.
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Wow
- By santos on 03-11-25
By: Ione Skye
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Playground
- A Childhood Lost Inside the Playboy Mansion
- By: Jennifer Saginor
- Narrated by: Kassidy Cortese
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the vein of Running with Scissors, Playground is the glitzy, glamorous, and surreal true story of a young girl who grew up inside the Playboy Mansion and never learned where the party stopped and the real world began. You are six years old. Every day after school your father takes you to a sprawling castle filled with exotic animals, bowls of candy, and half-naked women catering to your every need. You have your own room. You have new friends. You have an uncle Hef who's always there for you.
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Missing Mom
- By Stephanie on 09-14-24
By: Jennifer Saginor
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Girl Hidden: A Memoir
- By: Jesse Rene Gibbs
- Narrated by: Lessa Lamb
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Echoing among the Blue Ridge Mountains were the cries of newborn babies that disappeared into the night. The screams of children nearly drowned out by the sound of crickets. A girl, hidden and waiting to be found, terrified, and confused. The fireflies sparkling in the woods, bringing light to darkled places.
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Beautiful Story
- By JMAR001 on 04-13-22
By: Jesse Rene Gibbs
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Counting the Cost
- By: Jill Duggar, Derick Dillard - contributor, Craig Borlase - contributor
- Narrated by: Jill Duggar
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines.
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A Naive Account from a Reality TV Personality
- By Lora Kyle on 09-12-23
By: Jill Duggar, and others
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Whiskey in a Teacup
- By: Reese Witherspoon
- Narrated by: Reese Witherspoon
- Length: 2 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Reese Witherspoon’s grandmother Dorothea always said a combination of beauty and strength made Southern women “whiskey in a teacup”. We may be delicate and ornamental on the outside, she said, but inside, we’re strong and fiery. Reese’s Southern heritage informs her whole life, and she loves sharing the joys of Southern living with practically everyone she meets. She takes the South wherever she goes with bluegrass, big holiday parties, and plenty of Dorothea’s fried chicken.
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Lighthearted... yet predictable and clichéd
- By Dr Puff on 10-31-18
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People Pleaser
- Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations
- By: Jinger Vuolo, Julie Lyles Carr - contributor
- Narrated by: Jinger Vuolo
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
From childhood to early adulthood, Jinger Duggar Vuolo followed the expectations of others, never taking the time to discover who she truly was. It wasn't until she asked herself the question, "Who am I?" that she realized she was a people pleaser. This realization led her on a journey of self-discovery and ultimately, to rely on God for her approval and sense of self-worth. Through her faith and reliance on God, Jinger began to break free from the need for approval and discover true freedom.
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Self help book
- By MGat on 01-19-25
By: Jinger Vuolo, and others
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A Little Thing Called Life
- On Loving Elvis Presley, Bruce Jenner, and Songs in Between
- By: Linda Thompson
- Narrated by: Linda Thompson
- Length: 14 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Award-winning songwriter Linda Thompson breaks her silence, sharing the extraordinary story of her life, career, and epic romances with two of the most celebrated yet enigmatic modern American superstars - Elvis Presley and Bruce Jenner.
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Yuck!
- By Joyce A. Brannon on 09-06-16
By: Linda Thompson
Sharing her story on His suicide. I am a survivor and I’ve lost my dad to suicide.
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So real
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Articulate
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Ayahuasca
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this book is important!
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Allison’s brave and thoughtful narrative is a standout piece, and those who have endured the helplessness and devastation of a loved one choosing to leave will find comfort. Those of us who have been fortunate enough not to experience such devastation will find enlightenment and guidance in how to support those who have. Those who may be considering suicide will be pushed to consider the impact of their choice. I hope that lives can be saved.
Perhaps most importantly, though, Allison’s story will help to build and expand critical, foundational vocabulary about love and loss and a subject that is too important to be taboo.
Standout and Important
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Touching
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Heartbreaking but so inspiring for her strength and resilience!
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What stood out to me the most, though, was the darkness surrounding Stephen’s story, particularly through his experiences with drugs and certain retreats. Rather than bringing healing, these things seemed to deepen his struggles, and it felt as though he was tormented—something I truly believe was a demonic presence. Allison leans heavily into what I’d describe as “new age” spirituality, which is interesting given her and Stephen’s background in Catholicism and Mormonism, I assume by her story and Stephen’s rosary. She also opens her book with a Bible verse, which adds another layer to the complexity of her spiritual journey.
While I respect that everyone’s path is unique, some of the things she describes made me question whether they led to peace or just added to the confusion. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6). True healing and peace can only be found in Him, the light that leads us to heaven.
Light vs. Darkness
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Such strength and sadness
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