Worst Laid Plans
At the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
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About this listen
“When bad sex happens to good people, there is no recourse like full disclosure,” is the motto of Worst Laid Plans, a comedy show staged at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, the highly influential comedy organization co-founded by Amy Poehler. True stories of terrible sex imparted by the brave survivors who lived to tell, Worst Laid Plans is part Vagina Monologues, part car crash, and wholly hilarious. From "Trapped in the Closet" to "IncogNEGRO" to "The Farting Rapist," this hour-long epic features recordings from live shows in Los Angeles and New York City, including performances by Laraine Newman (Original cast SNL), Mary Lynn Rajksub (24), Casey Wilson (SNL), and other performers who shamelessly take the mic to reveal all. Created by Alexandra Lydon and Laura Kindred, Worst Laid Plans premiered in 2007 and continues to play to sold out audiences to this day.
Never was humor so dry.
The performers you hear on this audio are not victims, but by and large the architects of their own misfortune. Because of that, a couple have chosen to remain pseudonymous. Others were more brave. Tymberlee Hill (“IncogNEGRO”), “Suz” (“Trapped in the Closet”), Alexandra Lydon (“The Farting Rapist”), Laura Kindred (“You Bet Your Ass”), Casey Wilson (“Rub a Dub Dub, Thanks for the… Nub?”), Laraine Newman (“Beef Stroganoff”), Mary Lynn Rajskub (“My Fast Boyfriend”), “Maddow” (“Tunnel to Nowhere”)
For Adults Only: Explicit language. Must be 18 years of age to purchase.
©2010 Alexandra Lydon and Laura Kindred (P)2010 Random HouseListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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Gemini
- By: Penelope Ward
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Diner waitress Allison Abraham has no idea her mundane life is about to change dramatically the day she serves a devastatingly handsome customer. Allison is immediately captivated by the mysterious man who stares through her soul with his electric-blue eyes. After he abruptly leaves the restaurant, she can't get him out of her head. She has no idea that he actually came on a mission to find her. Cedric Callahan wasn't expecting to fall in love at first sight with the pretty waitress he'd set out to find.
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WHAT A JOURNEY, WHAT A LOVE STORY & WHAT AN AUTHOR
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 11-14-16
By: Penelope Ward
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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Screwmates
- By: Kayti McGee
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 5 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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I knew from the first time I saw Marc Kirby that I was screwed. Big eyes, scruffy face, brown curls - yes, yes, and yes. The man is wicked hot. He's also my roommate, and since I work nights and he's at class all day - it's like living alone at half the rent. Then an unexpected night off turns into an unexpected morning in Marc's bed, but it turns out we can't even figure out the screwing.
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Funny
- By Misty Walker on 05-22-17
By: Kayti McGee
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Her Dad's Friend
- By: Penny Wylder
- Narrated by: Lillian Claire, Blake Richard
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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He was my dad's best friend - and my first crush. Falling for him was bad. Flirting with him and trying to get in his pants the night of my 21st birthday party was definitely worse. But can you blame me? I hadn't seen the guy in years and he comes back looking hotter than ever. Our fling shouldn't have even begun but now that it has, I don't want it to stop. I'm crazy for this guy - and he's obsessed with me. Too bad my father will kill him if he finds out. So we can't tell him. We just have to keep it secret. Right? That might have worked...until he got me pregnant.
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Wow!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-13-17
By: Penny Wylder
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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The Road Home
- By: Ford Michael Thomas Ford
- Narrated by: Blake Somerset
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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When a car accident leaves photographer Burke Crenshaw in need of temporary full-time care, he finds himself back in the one place no forty-year-old chooses to be--his childhood bedroom. There, in the Vermont home where he grew up, Burke begins the long process of recuperation, and watches as his widowed father finds happiness in a new relationship that's a constant reminder of everything Burke wants and lacks. Exploring local history, Burke discovers an intriguing series of letters from a Civil War soldier to his fianc.
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No need to check your scepticism at the door!
- By Orlando on 08-23-13