Showing results by author "Robert Asprin" in All Categories

You can't mistake just anyone for a Phule. When the planet Zenobia is invaded, Captain Willard Phule is made their military advisor. The first priority for Phule's Company: staying out from underfoot of the peaceful, dinosaurlike Zenobians.... But, unbeknownst to the Zenobians, they're getting two Phules for the price of one. A robot double of Phule appears out of nowhere. And only the real Phule knows who the real Phule is....

Skeeve is a magician’s apprentice (and a wanna-be thief) until an assassin’s bolt kills his master, Garkin. Along with Aahz, the green-scaled, purple-tongued demon and master magician summoned by Garkin, he sets out on a quest to get even. The road to vengeance is bound to prove rocky, however, because Skeeve can barely light a candle with his beginning magic, and Aahz has lost his own considerable magical abilities as a consequence of Garkin’s summoning spell.

After being court-martialed by the Space Legion for ordering the strafing of a treaty-signing ceremony, multimillionaire Willard Phule receives his punishment: He must command the misfit Omega Company on Haskin's Planet, a mining settlement on the edge of settled space. At his duty station, he leverages his personal money and a knack for managing people to get the company to come together as a unit.

Aahz discovers that the shabby-looking sword he bought at a flea market in a remote dimension is Ersatz, leader of the Golden Hoard, a fabled collection of powerful magical treasures that can turn any ordinary being into a hero. They go in search of the other members of the Hoard, only to find that they're not the only ones looking. A dancer named Calypsa, working with Aahz's old friend Tananda, is seeking to collect them to free her grandfather from the dreaded wizard Barrik.

After years as a court magician and interdimensional hero, Skeeve needed a rest. So he took some time off to study magic and relax. When a few months later several members of the M.Y.T.H. Inc. Team each ask him to train some talented, young magicians in "practical magic", he has to agree. But after the assassins attack and a manticore tries to eat them, the Khlad mage soon discovers that there is more going on than learning. His students are preparing for a very deadly magical game, and you won't believe where.

Having defeated the mad wizard, Isstvan, Skeeve, and Aahz have taken over the remote inn that was the enemy’s hideout. They’re generally safe from visitors, and if not, Skeeve’s growing magical abilities allow him to disguise himself and his friends as such repulsive serving staff that potential guests flee, screaming. Skeeve has grown bored of studying magic at the isolated inn, however, and one visitor who does not flee offers him an invitation for employment as court magician in the kingdom of Possiltum.

Skeeve is a powerful magician, and he always means well...but he is more than a bit naive when it comes to romance. And suddenly, he’s drowning in a sea of romance! There’s Bunny, the brilliant mob moll, Cassandra, the friendly neighborhood vampire night-club queen...and of course, there’s the sexy but dangerously twisted Queen Hemlock. Only one of his nubile suitors can assure his future - and maybe even keep him alive.

Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule's Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into...a crack team of casino security guards. Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise - goofing off - than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?

Belly up to Thieves' World®'s favorite bar for tales told by such fantasy stars as Philip Jose Farmer, David Drake, Janet Morris, and others. Via contributions from Philip Jose Farmer, David Drake, Lynn Abbey, A. E. van Vogt, Janet Morris, Andrew J. Offutt, and Robert Lynn Asprin, you'll revisit the nefarious characters of Sanctuary, including One-Thumb, the proprietor of the Vulgar Unicorn; Regli, a nobleman; Illyra, the seer; Hanes, the thief; the crime lord, Jubal; and introducing Tempus Thales, the immortal mercenary.

While Skeeve and Aahz are preoccupied with the aftermath of Gleep's shooting, the M.Y.T.H. Inc. crew faces its biggest challenge yet - not one, but multiple challenges to the king and his court sorcerer! Word on the street is that the kingdom is under the control of a mighty sorcerer. It's obvious that this magician dabbles in the black arts: He consorts with demons. He has a dragon for a pet. He's connected to the criminal underground, trading political influence for their assistance in keeping the populace under control.

It was the perfect solution - put highly connected Captain Willard Phule in charge of the worst dregs of the Space Force. Sure, Phule's Company may be a band of rejects and misfits, but they did manage to save the day with their unorthodox methods. Embarrassed, the Space Force may have found the perfect equation for disaster: Assign Phule's pack of oddballs to save the Fat Chance Casino from a criminal take over. Phule's Company may stop the mob...but who will save the casino from them?

What's a millionaire bachelor to do? Join the army - with his butler - of course. Desperate to kick Phule out of the Space Legion, General Blitzkrieg sends a crack team of environmental investigators - including celebrity canine Barky the Environmental Dog - to sniff out Phule and his unnatural disasters. It doesn't take long. Phule is hosting a group of big-game hunters who think they can bag a dinosaur on Zenobia. Needless to say, dinosaurs are not a native species. But cold, hard facts never stopped a Phule....

War is heck! Guido and Nunzio may not be the brightest bodyguards in the world - but they certainly are faithful. When Skeeve "the Great" asks them to join the army of Possiltum, the two thugs volunteer without question.... Except: Whose side are they on? Queen Hemlock's? The Mob's Fairy Godfather's? Skeeve's? The two baffled bodyguards barely have time to figure it all out - they've been handed government-issue crossbows, armored with leather skirts, and given combat orders by the dreaded drill sergeant Smiley! With war heroes like these...who needs enemies?

Times are hard, and the citizens of Sanctuary are not their greedy, immoral, grifting selves. But desperate times call for desperate measures, which means the bad guys are about to up their game. No one is safe from Sanctuary's evil charms—not the fish in the waters, not the prince's own Hell Hound guards, not even Satan himself.

Stranded in the myth-begotten world of Perv, it’s home to Ahaz, Skeeve’s scaly green demon mentor and partner in crime, but it’s no place for a human. When Ahaz takes exception to something Skeeve says, he walks away from M.Y.T.H., Inc. and goes back to Perv. Skeeve realizes that he must apologize for his thoughtless behavior and convince his stubborn, thin-skinned cohort to rejoin the firm - and finds himself trapped in the most demonic dimension of them all!

It was just an innocent game of dragon poker. But soon Ogres were high, unicorns wild, and the pot was half a million! Skeeve bluffs his way into a high-stakes game of dragon poker - and wins! But now he's left with Markie, a pint-sized IOU left by a player who went broke. She conjures up a house full of trouble every time she tries to cast a spell. And now the dragon poker champion has challenged Skeeve to a game - with a pot of half a million.

Skeeve needs more than magic to solve a matter of Murder and Myth-tery. He’s in a real pickle this time. His green, scaly partner, Aahz, has disappeared, and it looks like foul play. Finding Aahz ought to be a snap for a talented magician like Skeeve, especially with a sassy apprentice and a dumb-but-brawny bodyguard along for the ride. The trouble is, they're sleuthing in another dimension that makes the Bazaar on Deva look tame!

Welcome back to Sanctuary, "the city where anything could happen, where characters created by some of the best fantasy writers of the generation crossed paths and shared adventures" (Black Gate). The Thieves' World® series continues with a story line created by Robert Lynn Asprin, C. J. Cherryh, Diana L. Paxson, Lynn Abbey, Janet Morris, and Andrew J. Offutt. In Storm Season, immortal warrior Tempus Thales and his nemesis, the crime lord Jubal, go head to head in fast-paced exploits that bring the simmering tension between them to a boil.

The trophy is just about the ugliest piece of “art” that apprentice magician Skeeve has ever seen, but the beautiful Tananda wants to steal it for a special occasion. Skeeve’s not above indulging in a daring act of interdimensional thievery for a good cause and the chance of adventure, and he figures that between his abilities and Tanda’s, the guardians of the trophy won’t stand a chance. That’s where their plan goes horribly wrong.

Skeeve has decided, at long last, to come out of his self-imposed retirement and get back into the problem-solving biz. He confidently expected walk in and take his rightful place as the head of M.Y.T.H., Inc. He didn’t expect to have to face off against Aahz for the job. With their friends lending help but showing no favorites, they start a not-so-friendly contest to see who will run the company by taking opposite sides of the next case to walk in the door. Will the legendary partnership survive the battle, or will this be the end of a beautiful friendship?