Duped
Double Lives, False Identities, and the Con Man I Almost Married
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Narrated by:
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Therese Plummer
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By:
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Abby Ellin
About this listen
Abby Ellin was shocked to learn that her fiancé was leading a secret life. But as she soon discovered, the world is full of people who aren't what they seem.
From Abby Ellin's first date with the commander, she was caught up in a whirlwind. Within six months, he'd proposed and they'd moved in together. But soon, his exotic stories of international espionage began to unravel. Finally, it all became clear: He was lying about who he was.
After leaving him and sharing her story, she was floored to find out that her experience was far from unique. People everywhere, many of them otherwise sharp-witted and self-aware, are being deceived by their loved ones every day.
In Duped, Abby Ellin studies the art and science of lying, talks to people who've had their worlds upended by duplicitous partners, and writes with great openness about her own mistakes. These remarkable stories reveal how often we encounter people whose lives beneath the surface are more improbable than we ever imagined.
©2019 Abby Ellin (P)2019 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"I have recommended this one to friends who've loved someone they turned out not to know... [Ellin] pulls off the tricky balancing act of avoiding either self-justification or self-castigation...Reading 'Duped' gave me occasion to second-guess even gentler deceptions; it may actually have made me a (slightly) better person."—Tim Kreider, New York Times Book Review
"Candid and entertaining, Ellin's book offers insight into the socially and psychologically complex nature of deceit as well as the choices she made as a duped woman. Lively, provocative reading."—Kirkus Reviews
"The author's hybrid of memoir and journalism works well for general readers, keeping things engaging and witty...A timely book for folks who wonder how we ended up in this post-truth world as well as readers of books like A Beautiful, Terrible Thing (2017) by Jen Waite."—Booklist
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During her teens, Rachel Lloyd ended up a victim of commercial sexual exploitation. With time, through incredible resilience, and with the help of a local church community, she finally broke free of her pimp and her past and devoted herself to helping other young girls escape "the life". In Girls Like Us, Lloyd reveals the dark world of commercial sex trafficking in cinematic detail and tells the story of her groundbreaking nonprofit organization: GEMS.
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Rachel Lloyd is an Amazing Woman
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
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This book is fascinating and funny! Fantastic!
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Cannot rate this highly enough!
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Oh The Things I Know
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I expected a different ending I suppose
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Renowned social psychologists Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson take a compelling look into how the brain is wired for self-justification. When we make mistakes, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and right - a belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research and delivered in energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception.
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Perfect timing
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
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What listeners say about Duped
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- DocBendrix
- 09-28-22
A helpful, interesting memoire
My family had experience with a narcissistic con man. I found Ellin’s tale to be personally helpful in some ways and the study of duping to be interesting and helpful, too. Maybe chapter two opens with too many tangential examples of liars, which worried me after the main memoir story ended, but I hung in there and it picked up. Later chapters were fascinating.
Therese Plummer should read all the audible catalog. Her vocal choices are evocative and listenable.
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Overall
- Kindle Customer
- 05-11-20
I've been duped!
Loved the book.I was duped by my son-in-law for years.it took years for us to figure him out.He got himself into a lot of trouble before the end. He ruined his family and ours. Wish I had read this book before he came into our lives.
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- Gr8pnut
- 05-07-19
Fascinating!
Some remarked the author talked too much about herself, but I diasagree. Hearing her motives and thought process added exponentially to the understanding of why people get duped. Recommended!
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- Anonymous
- 05-30-19
Psychological Portrait of Deception
The book presents deception through the eyes of the deceived. Step by step the story unfolds through the actions, thoughts and behaviors of the deceiver and deceived. It’s a virtual reality experience of deception rather than a psychological abstract. Psychological principles are pointed out as the story proceeds and the comments of various psychologists are insightful.
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- K. Gonzalez
- 02-12-19
Good book. Extremely annoying narrator.
Almost unable to finish the book. The narrator is unbearable. Her voice doesn’t fit the book. Her proclivity for the offset “he said” or “she said” after a dramatic pause at the end of a sentence was torture.
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1 person found this helpful
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- RockMusic Lover
- 02-09-19
Great read
Anyone whose trust has ever been violated to the core of your being; it is a most worthy and valuable read.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Amy Chan
- 03-21-22
Gripping. I loved listening to it.
I got this book on Audible after following the author's work online. The story she tells is unbelievable because it's SO NUTS. I have to admit, I saw parts of me in this story, wanting so badly to believe in love, the 'one' and ignoring things that didn't fit the belief I was so attached to.
I love how she includes research and data along with the different stories.
I will say this - after reading this book, you will be able to recognize the signs of a DUPER. So thanks to the author for helping some of us steer clear of what can be such a horrible and painful experience.
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- Debbie
- 04-26-19
Loved the book
This hits some triggers for me, but also gave me insight into a lot of the same feelings that the author had. Thanks for sharing your story! Satellite Sisters were right, great book!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jason Cosmos
- 03-26-21
Fun, disturbing, insightful, and instructional
I originally bought this book on kindle after hearing Abby being interviewed in 2019. I read half of then put it down due to life's distractions. I recently bought the audible version and really loved listening to it while driving around DC delivering cats. There is so much that I recognized and could identify with
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- Lisa Clampitt
- 02-05-20
Exciting and Profound Journey of being Duped!!
When I downloaded my copy of Duped by Abby Ellin, I was assuming I would read a romantic deception story about the heart ache of falling in love with a liar. An interesting enough topic for me as a relationship expert and a professional Matchmaker. I always love anything "relationship" books. But instead, I got an exciting and engaging societal and psychological story of why people deceive. Duped is a brilliant and thorough investigation into this psychological phenomenon, looking at the human mind and the motivation of deception. Abby Ellin strategically brings you though an engaging and dramatic expedition into the underbelly of a disturbing and unfortunately common pathology of deceit. I highly recommend going on this exciting and profound Journey of being "Duped".
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