It's Not Me, It's You
Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.
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Narrated by:
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John Kim
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Vanessa Bennett
About this listen
Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.
Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?
It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40.
In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.
The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.
It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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In I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, Kim delivers the dos and don’ts for stepping up and into manhood, which he defines by transparency and strength of character, not six-pack abs or a corner office. With his signature no-nonsense approach that will make you laugh and think, Kim takes you on a rugged, rough-and-tumble road trip of self-exploration and discovery, sharing his wisdom and insights.
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Some wisdom, some common knowledge.
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
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Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate
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- By: Arielle Ford
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Internationally best-selling author and relationship expert Arielle Ford offers the keys to rediscovering love, passion, respect, and renewed commitment years after the simple act of falling in love and getting married. It's one thing to fall in love and get married. It is quite another thing to have a marriage you love. This is the true purpose of Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate.
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SO Hard To Listen To!
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
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- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
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Are you ready to make changes in your life - but feel something is holding you back? Is your soul asking you to take a leap - but you’re too afraid to take it? Are you ready for something new - but aren’t sure where to start? If this sounds like you, this audiobook will give you the courage and faith you need to jump across the threshold from where you are - to where you want to be. Jump...and Your Life Will Appear is a step-by-step guide to clearing the path ahead so you can let go and make the change you need the most.
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Inspiring and motivating!
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The Courage Habit
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In The Courage Habit, certified life coach Kate Swoboda offers freedom from the outdated belief that one must be fearless in order to live courageously. Instead, she defines courage as a willingness to act on what we want in spite of our fears and offers an evidence-based program to help readers conquer their inner critic, overcome worries, increase resilience, work toward their highest aspirations, and make courage a habit every day.
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The Men on My Couch
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When Dr. Brandy Engler opened her sex therapy practice for women in Manhattan, she got a big surprise. Most of the calls were from men. They wanted to talk about womanizing, porn addiction, impotence, prostitutes - and most of all, love.
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Not what you'd expect
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If the Buddha Dated
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Charlotte Kasl, bestselling author, spiritual practitioner, and therapist, brings a compassionate understanding to the anxiety and uneasiness of new love, and helps listeners discover their potential for vibrant human connection based on awareness, kindness, and honesty. She approaches the dating process as a means for awakening, reminding us that when we live by spiritual rules, we bring curiosity and a light heart to the romantic journey.
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Life Coach Book NOT JUST FOR DATING
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Parenting with Presence
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Our children can be our greatest teachers. Parenting expert Susan Stiffelman writes that the very behaviors that push our buttons - refusing to cooperate or ignoring our requests - can help us build awareness and shed old patterns, allowing us to raise our children with greater ease and enjoyment.
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fantastic
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Audio quality is lacking:(
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What listeners say about It's Not Me, It's You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-07-22
Life changing!
I found this book when I needed it the most! Thank You! I realized I was wrong in so many things when it comes to the idea of love and a healthy relationship!
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- Randall Brandon
- 09-30-22
Clarity!
Amazing reading! Life changing if your in a relationship and you want it to stand the test of time.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-15-23
Best book to listen to to expand your view on a relationship
This book touched me. I found myself laughing out of relatability, yet retiring to listen when in need of strength, comfort and understanding in my own relationship. Each chapter is crafted to perfection. I love the intertwine between Vanessa’s and johns perspective. They would talk about a topic, give it structure, add their own relationship into it then give you guidance on how to work through it. It was raw, yet well composed. I found several similarities to how Vanessa and John are to my own relationship. I felt comforted in the arms of this book and wished it wouldn’t end. I hope to see Vanessa write more books as I allied with her perspective more than johns, but the togetherness and self understanding of faults and challenges is what made this book so pure and purposeful. I have recommended it to all of my friends in a relationship, because they talk about what isn’t talked about and adds reason to keep the boat afloat when you feel like you see holes. It’s honest and will listen to it more than once. Do yourself a favor and let yourself grow throughout this book!
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- Elizabeth B.
- 07-17-23
Best relationship & codependency book I’ve read in a long time
I loved how this book challenged me to in specific ways to look again at why I don’t speak up in my marriage. I also got a clearer understanding of the role love languages plays in my being haunted by exes & feeling unloved in my marriage. I appreciate the attachment book and love language book recommendations.
I wish there had been more resources for discerning emotional abuse, the confusion it creates and safe steps to take to own my codependency while not exposing myself unnecessarily to an unsafe person.
I feel the need to buy the hard copy version of the book to review it and to journal my responses to questions. And there was mention of a breakout box on codependent types that I think I missed in the audio version.
I has sworn off relationship books b/c I think I’ve tried everything, but this book actually fired me up to take a deeper look at my tendencies for the personal benefit it will bring me as well as to fulfill my obligation to my current and future relationships.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Jessica jenson
- 12-20-22
Hmm
makes you look at your everyday relationships in perspective. will listen again to use in my everyday life
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- Protector of the Unknown
- 10-25-22
Another Successful Book!
I have read most of John's books and it's great to have Vanessa speaking about her side of the story too! I hope there is a sequel to this book! Thank you for all that you do!
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-28-23
Will read again!
This book does such a good job looking at a lot of key relationship elements. There is a lot to take away for both friendships and romantic relationships. I wanted to keep reading but found myself purposely putting the book down to critically think about the information being provided. Great read!
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- Ubaldo C.
- 01-29-23
If you want an honest look at love
It’s a must read if you are really trying to understand what it takes for a relationship to succeed
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-17-22
Great book for relationships!!
I loved it! I couldn't get thru it fast enough and the topics were helpful. definitely a great read!
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- Tammy Hayes
- 03-09-23
Spot on & Helpful!
Love the back and forth, “he says-she says” style of this audible! I especially grew from the part on attachment styles & will look for more on the book they recommended! Very quick and insightful read/listen!
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