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All the Rage
- Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
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Publisher's summary
Picking up where All Joy and No Fun left off, All the Rage sets out to understand why, in an age of so-called equality, full-time working mothers still carry.
The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time, mothers’ contributions - even those women who earn more than their partners - still outweigh fathers’ when it comes to raising children and maintaining a home.
How can this be? How, in a culture that has studied and lauded the benefits of fathers’ being active, present partners in child-rearing - benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves - can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children?
Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own case study as ground zero, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists.
Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the reasons both men and women are culpable. Her findings are startling - and offer a catalyst for true change.
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- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In this provocative new book, psychologist and social commentator Dr. Jean Twenge documents the self-focus of what she calls "Generation Me" - people born in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. Dr. Twenge explores why her generation is tolerant, confident, open-minded, and ambitious but also cynical, depressed, lonely, and anxious. Dr. Twenge reveals how profoundly different today's young adults are - and makes controversial predictions about what the future holds for them and society as a whole.
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I mostly agree
- By David Hill on 05-25-20
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The Sibling Effect
- What the Bonds among Brothers and Sisters Reveal about Us
- By: Jeffrey Kluger
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nobody affects us as deeply as our brothers and sisters - not parents, not children, not friends. From the time we - and they - are born, our siblings are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to, how to conduct friendships and when to walk away.
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This is the only book I never finished
- By Rob on 06-25-12
By: Jeffrey Kluger
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The Feminine Mystique
- By: Betty Friedan
- Narrated by: Parker Posey
- Length: 15 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The book that changed the consciousness of a country - and the world. Landmark, groundbreaking, classic - these adjectives barely describe the earthshaking and long-lasting effects of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique. This is the book that defined "the problem that has no name", that launched the Second Wave of the feminist movement, and has been awakening women and men with its insights into social relations, which still remain fresh, ever since.
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A landmark book of its time and relevant now
- By Anthony on 01-23-15
By: Betty Friedan
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The End of Men
- And the Rise of Women
- By: Hanna Rosin
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Men have been the dominant sex since - well, the dawn of mankind. And yet, as journalist Hanna Rosin discovered, that long-held truth is no longer true. At this unprecedented moment, women are no longer merely gaining on men; they have pulled decisively ahead by almost every measure. Already "the end of men" - the phrase Rosin coined - has entered the lexicon as indelibly as Simone de Beauvoir’s "second sex", Betty Friedan’s "feminine mystique", Susan Faludi’s "backlash", and Naomi Wolf’s "beauty myth" have.
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Great book, don't care for the reader's style
- By Darren on 12-05-12
By: Hanna Rosin
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Ready or Not
- Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World
- By: Madeline Levine
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Ready or Not explores how today’s parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future - and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health, and happiness.
By: Madeline Levine
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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A Strange Stirring
- 'The Feminine Mystique' and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s
- By: Stephanie Coontz
- Narrated by: Diane Cardea
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Based on exhaustive research and interviews, and challenging both conservative and liberal myths about Friedan, A Strange Stirring brilliantly illuminates how a generation of women came to realize that their dissatisfaction with domestic life didn’t reflect their personal weakness but rather a social and political injustice.
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Good histroy and well written
- By Hannah Lasher on 06-18-16
By: Stephanie Coontz
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Teach Your Children Well
- Parenting for Authentic Success
- By: Madeline Levine PhD
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
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Overall
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Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the plight of America's children and teens - soaring rates of emotional problems, limited coping skills, disengagement from learning - and yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Teach Your Children Well acknowledges that every parent wants successful children. However, until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, impaired children.
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I wish this book had been published years ago
- By AvidReader on 09-07-12
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Parenting by the Book
- Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child
- By: John Rosemond
- Narrated by: George W. Sarris
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Picture respectful, responsible, obedient children who entertain themselves without television or video games, do their own homework, and have impeccable manners. A pie-in-the-sky fantasy? Not so, says family psychologist and best-selling author John Rosemond. Any parent who so desires can grow children who fit that description - happy, emotionally healthy children who honor their parents and their families with good behavior and do their best in school.
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Extremely Timely!
- By SimoneSJ on 07-15-21
By: John Rosemond
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Overwhelmed
- Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time
- By: Brigid Schulte
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
According to the Leisure Studies Department at the University of Iowa, true leisure is “that place in which we realize our humanity.” If that’s true, argues Brigid Schulte, then we're doing dangerously little realizing of our humanity. In Overwhelmed, Schulte, a staff writer for The Washington Post, asks: Are our brains, our partners, our culture, and our bosses making it impossible for us to experience anything but “contaminated time”?
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Depressing, Dreary Listening Experience
- By Deb A on 04-19-15
By: Brigid Schulte
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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The Wonder of Boys
- By: Michael Gurian
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- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
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Overall
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What can parents, mentors, and educators do to shape boys into exceptional men? Michael Gurian, a respected therapist, storyteller, and recognized expert in family systems, explains the basic needs of every boy: a primary and extended family, a relationship with mother, father, and mentors, and support from his community.
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Great Book for Mothers and Fathers
- By Janine on 05-20-09
By: Michael Gurian
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What listeners say about All the Rage
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- LivB
- 07-01-20
Bravo
Such a great book. It is well thought out and written. I personally loved hearing the research and data driven analysis behind all the points and chapters. Worth another read/hearing.
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- Saige R.
- 12-07-22
Omg, finally someone who gets it!
Loved it. Well voiced and not bland or flat. So happy I found this book. I literally cried to have someone finally understand what I've been trying to communicate to my husband about teamwork in our relationship and not wanting to tell him to do things. He's not a kid, lol, so he should be capable of see full trash = take out trash. Having the burden of "tell me what we need to do" is draining. Like, how could I know if I didn't go look either? Just check it! Example, but yeah.
EDIT: changing to 4 stars. I had my husband sit with me to listen to this and while it has given us some language to use like "stonewalling" and "cognitive load", much of the dialog reads as a lengthy complaint. I don't think we need three chapters at the beginning to describe women's discontent, though the data offered about couples who really are equal having more sexis an important one. Like, no duh. If she feels supported and not like a slave, of course she'll like you more. You have to be attracted to someone to want to have sex with them (usually), and how can you want that when you're full of resentment and wondering if you should just divorce and run away? Haha. But the reason I'm knocking it down a star is because it doesn't provide productive solutions to the problem. It states the problem with lots of reasons men should want to be equals and maybe don't know how to be, but doesn't give you something to work on or with to improve the situation. I would pair it with something that has constructive how tos with it.
For me, this is a huge part of the baby making decision. I already have my hands full. There's no flipping way I'm adding a second dependent on me to the equation, especially one that definitely can't help themselves for 4-6 years depending on intelligence.
My husband has started trying more, but I still get more "send me a list" or "did you venmo me for my half of the grocery?" when he could do all that himself. But listening to this together has enabled me to stop enabling his helplessness. When he does that, I say, "I'm not the house manager. Why don't you go peek at the laundry a few times a week to see if it needs to be done?" He came home with groceries the other day, though it was mostly stuff from our list on the fridge, he usually never does any shopping, so that's a big step in the right direction already. I'm trying to ease him into being independent as a human again, but also stepping back more to let him just think about things and deal with them.
Ladies, make your husbands listen to this with you if you entered the relationship as equals and he was absolutely on board about it in the past. If they still don't get it after this and want to improve sharing cognitive load of family and home tasks, they never will. Run. Don't have kids with that person.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Brooks Rainey Pearson
- 06-12-19
Must read for men
It was almost overwhelming how often this book described the patterns of inequity that exist in my own marriage, and the things my wife says her friends also experience with their husbands. The mental load is a real thing, and this book is an incredible resource for helping to get your head out of your ...
Any man who is surprised by the resentment women feel needs to read this.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Sarah
- 01-04-20
Worth a read
Though there is a fair amount of research cited, this book is mostly a nuanced articulation of the challenges working mothers face around division of household and childcare labor. Understanding that this is indeed happening is a crucial step towards changing it.
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- Louisa Maria Korkie
- 10-03-20
A book for any couple thinking of having kids
This book had some great insights backed by science. There are few mothers who wouldn't connect with the stories in this book. I wish it wasn't so heavily targeted at women as I think this should be mandatory reading for men in committed relationships.
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- Erin
- 05-21-19
The book that more women need
This book was amazing! It really laid out my biggest concerns about having children and made me feel like I'm no longer being gaslighted. Women doing most of the work of childcare is a result of our patriarchal society and deep socialization... It is NOT "natural". We need to fight the system and I feel like this book is a great start. We need to fight the system for everyone's happiness.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Heather Bruhn
- 08-01-19
Validating
Loved the content and the performance. This book is everything I've felt for so many years actually written out and explained.
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- Aurelian Cotuna
- 02-01-20
A great book, eye opening if you are a man
Reading this book I had the chance to see a different perspective on parenting and on house labouring and distribution of tasks.
I believe that both men and women need to be equally involved into a relationship and into parenting.
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- Lisa
- 06-06-19
Amazing book!
Thank you for putting down on paper everything that women all over the world have known and felt for decades. I feel seen and heard. I feel validated. I feel overwhelmed with what we are trying to achieve as women in this world. The weight of it seems to always fall to us, but hopefully, men will read this book as well and finally take it upon themselves to pick up their equal share and do the right thing... and their kids will see them doing it.
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- Elizabeth
- 01-20-20
FINALLY, an author comes along and NAILS it!
I'm a mother of 2, married to a progressive husband who, in so many ways, is my very best friend. Before we had children, we knew one another for well over a decade and I would have insisted on his being a feminist and egalitarian thinker. Again, before we had children. Then, somehow, little by little and, then, all at once, the lion's share of domestic labor fell into my lap. Not only the obvious stuff like childcare. Something more insidious set in, as my head filled with mental lists, the work of "noticing" detailed necessities around the household, a kind of air-traffic-control of domestic details swirling around my head, daily. The laundry, replenishing groceries, responding to bday party RSVP's, clipping toe nails, brushing teeth, all of the things, that, taken together, add up to our children's quality of life.
In short, responsibility for the standards we live in, they fell on me. The cost has been my freedom, and the effect--as Ms. Lockman puts it--is my shocking new status as second class citizen in my own home.
Not to mention, similar to Ms. Lockman, I never saw it coming.
Before I read this book, I could never seem to locate any articles, parenting blogs, FB posts, academic articles or anything that would describe so precisely the nuances of this horrendous cycle. Always, the writing seemed to fall short, misidentifying the central role that men play in generating the problem. Failing to identify it as their issue before it spills over to become a dynamic matter, between us.
Then I picked up ALL THE RAGE, and Ms. Lockman finally, FINALLY spoke to the sophisticated presentation of this issue, of supposedly 'progressive' men who seem entirely unaware that their ideas of equality do more to change their perceptions of themselves than they do to actually change their day-to-day behavior.
ALL THE RAGE gets to the heart of the matter: casting aside comparisons between modern day progressive men vs the Don Draper dads of the past, instead directing our attention where it truly belongs: an unapologetic, side-by-side comparison of the workload **between fathers and mothers**. Are men allowed to get away with doing less--at the expense of their partners? THAT is the question. Period. Point blank. And, if so, then why?
Ms. Lockman draws upon history and social science research, but her focus is squarely on the personal. So accurate are her nuanced descriptions of these every day inequities, I felt she was with me in my home, observing and writing about the most complicated and confusing points of tension between my husband and I, as we struggle to reconcile who we thought we would be as parents with who we really are. The takeaways are validating, heartbreaking and enraging all the at once.
Brava! Thank you Ms. Lockman, for directing the conversation where it truly belongs, finally.
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2 people found this helpful