
Being Dead Is No Excuse
The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral
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Narrated by:
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Tiffany Morgan
About this listen
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South - and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off.
As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died - they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it - and the funeral is the final social event of your existence, so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death.
Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event - and left not a crumb for the funeral (naturally, some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad."
Each chapter ends with an authentic Southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully," including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.
©2013 Gayden Metcalfe, Charlotte Hays (P)2020 HyperionListeners also enjoyed...
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- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 10-24-22
By: Gregory Berns
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The Book of Hours
- Hardcover Edition Features Newly Revised Content
- By: Davis Bunn
- Narrated by: Rose Robinson
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Castle Priory is a crumbling Oxfordshire mansion, one Brian Blackstone's wife considered a place of extraordinary enchantment. But for Brian there is no enchantment, only the burden of trying to honor Sarah's dying wish that he hold onto the property. With the local doctor, Cecilia Keeble, Brian begins to explore the mysteries of the old estate. In the process he discovers a medieval secret which offers a key to renew his spirit and heal his broken heart. The power of prayer reaches through the centuries in a surprising and mysterious way.
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Outstanding
- By sewspecialmom on 06-19-24
By: Davis Bunn
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To Sanctify the World
- The Vital Legacy of Vatican II
- By: George Weigel
- Narrated by: Steven Arthur
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) was the most important Catholic event in the past five hundred years. Yet sixty years after its opening on October 11, 1962, its meaning remains sharply contested and its promise unfulfilled. In To Sanctify the World, George Weigel explains the necessity of Vatican II and explores the continuing relevance of its teaching in a world seeking a deeper experience of freedom than personal willfulness.
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Fails to see how Vatican II broke with tradition
- By Amanda S on 12-20-24
By: George Weigel
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The Strat in the Attic
- Thrilling Stories of Guitar Archaeology
- By: Deke Dickerson, Jonathan Kellerman
- Narrated by: Deke Dickerson
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Guitar sleuth and music-history detective Deke Dickerson tells the true tales behind 48 rare-guitar and amplifier finds that will make any player or collector green with envy. Finding that holy grail of a guitar stashed away beneath a bed, in a closet, in the dusty corner of a guitar shop, or up in an attic is something that all guitar aficionados dream of. Strat in the Attic shares some of those real-life stories, related in spine-tingling detail by the author.
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A must read for guitar fanatics
- By Alfred "killa bee" Parsons on 11-10-23
By: Deke Dickerson, and others
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The Earl and the Pharaoh
- From the Real Downton Abbey to the Discovery of Tutankhamun
- By: The Countess of Carnarvon
- Narrated by: The Countess of Carnarvon
- Length: 13 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Bestselling author the Countess of Carnarvon tells the thrilling behind-the-scenes story of the discovery of the tomb of Tutankhamun on its centennial, and explores the unparalleled life of family ancestor George Herbert—the famed Egyptologist, world-traveler, and 5th Earl of Carnarvon behind it—whose country house, Highclere Castle, is the setting of the beloved series Downton Abbey.
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Plodding Family History…Akin to Listening to Paint Dry
- By J. Willis-Opalenik on 10-31-23
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A Stone Is Most Precious Where It Belongs
- A Memoir of Uyghur Exile, Hope, and Survival
- By: Gulchehra Hoja
- Narrated by: Sarah Suzuk
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In February 2018, twenty-four members of Gulchehra Hoja's family disappeared overnight. Her crime – and thus that of her family – was her award-winning investigations on the plight of her people, the Uyghurs, whose existence and culture is being systematically destroyed by the Chinese government. A Stone is Most Precious Where it Belongs is Gulchehra’s stunning memoir, taking us into the everyday world of life under Chinese rule in East Turkestan (more formally as the Xinjiang Autonomous Region of China), from her idyllic childhood to its modern nightmare.
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Beautiful
- By Genniphur on 08-14-23
By: Gulchehra Hoja
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Cowpuppy
- An Unexpected Friendship and a Scientist’s Journey into the Secret World of Cows
- By: Gregory Berns
- Narrated by: Derek Dysart
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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When Emory University neuroscientist Gregory Berns and his wife decided to venture into sustainable farming in rural Georgia, they knew that cows were a key part of a successful operation. But that was where his knowledge of cattle ended. As Berns and his small herd of three miniature zebus acclimated to each other and Berns received a crash course in being a cattleman, he turned his powers of scientific observation and innovation on his new charges. Cowpuppy offers a deeper understanding of these complex creatures and what we humans can learn from them.
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The warmth of the story. Quality of narration delivery. Depth of scientific detail and historical background.
- By Wanted... and Wiley on 09-18-24
By: Gregory Berns
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The Great Cat Massacre
- And Other Episodes in French Cultural History
- By: Robert Darnton
- Narrated by: Ken Kliban
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The landmark history of France and French culture in the 18th century, a winner of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize.
By: Robert Darnton
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More
- Find Your Personal Calling and Live Life to the Fullest Measure
- By: Todd Wilson
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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More meets Christians where they're at, acknowledging the roots of their discontent and demonstrating how to move from inspiration and desire into action. Church strategist and ministry activator Todd Wilson shows how all believers can live more abundant lives around the uniqueness of how they were made and what they are called to do.
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Great content but resources missing
- By Kindle Customer on 05-04-25
By: Todd Wilson
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The Heart of the Woods
- By: Wyl Menmuir
- Narrated by: Wyl Menmuir
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Throughout history, trees have determined the tools we use, the boats we build, the stories we tell about the world and ourselves, the songs we sing, and some of our most important rituals. As such, our lives are intertwined with those of the trees and woodlands around us. In this journey deep into the woods, Wyl Menmuir travels the length and breadth of Britain and Ireland to meet the people who plant trees, the ecologists who study them, those who shape beautiful objects and tools from wood, and those who use them to help others.
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Perfect for all who love the outdoors!
- By Hannah on 09-10-24
By: Wyl Menmuir
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The Language Game
- How Improvisation Created Language and Changed the World
- By: Morten H. Christiansen, Nick Chater
- Narrated by: Peter Noble
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Language is perhaps humanity’s most astonishing capacity - and one that remains poorly understood. In The Language Game, cognitive scientists Morten H. Christiansen and Nick Chater show us where generations of scientists seeking the rules of language got it wrong. Language isn’t about hardwired grammars but about near-total freedom, something like a game of charades, with the only requirement being a desire to understand and be understood.
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Good
- By Bruce R on 03-12-22
By: Morten H. Christiansen, and others
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Soulbriety
- A Plan to Heal Your Trauma, Overcome Addiction, and Reconnect with Your Soul
- By: Elisa Hallerman PhD
- Narrated by: Elisa Hallerman PhD, Jamie Lee Curtis
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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The founder of Recovery Management Agency—the world’s first agency devoted to helping addicts heal their addictions by reawakening their souls—uses her knowledge of depth psychology and her personal experience as a recovering addict to help you reconnect with soul, find meaning and live your purpose.
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Long, detailed stories without any meaning.
- By Alison on 01-11-23
Great Book, wrong reader
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I found myself skipping the recipes at the end of each chapter, but I am curious about tomato aspic now!
Light hearted stories and you’ll catch yourself laughing out loud at times. While listening to this book I could see a few old (deceased) Aunts too!
Entertaining
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Great read
Laughing all through
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Not suited for audio reading
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