Big Feelings
How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay
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Narrated by:
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Liz Fosslien
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Mollie West Duffy
About this listen
From the duo behind the bestselling book No Hard Feelings and the wildly popular @LizandMollie Instagram, an insightful and approachable illustrated guide to handling our most difficult emotions.
We all experience unwieldy feelings. But between our emotion-phobic society and the debilitating uncertainty of modern times, we usually don't know how to talk about what we're going through, much less handle it. Over the past year, Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy’s online community has laughed and cried about productivity guilt, pandemic anxiety, and Zoom fatigue. Now, Big Feelings addresses anyone intimidated by oversized feelings they can't predict or control, offering the tools to understand what's really going on, find comfort, and face the future with a sense of newfound agency.
Weaving surprising science with personal stories and original illustrations, each chapter examines one uncomfortable feeling—like envy, burnout, and anxiety—and lays out strategies for turning big emotions into manageable ones. You’ll learn:
- How to end the cycle of intrusive thoughts brought on by regret, and instead use this feeling as a compass for making decisions
- How to identify what’s behind your anger and communicate it productively, without putting people on the defensive
- Why we might be suffering from perfectionism even if we feel far from perfect, and how to detach your self-worth from what you do
Big Feelings helps us understand that difficult emotions are not abnormal, and that we can emerge from them with a deeper sense of meaning. We can’t stop emotions from bubbling up, but we can learn how to make peace with them.
* This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of illustrations, assessments, and resources from the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2022 Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy (P)2022 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Lucid, wise, illustrated advice for when we are overwhelmed. Neither patronizing nor pedantic, just good sensible advice that helps you have more control over those mental avalanches."
—Matt Haig, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Midnight Library and The Comfort Book
“Over the past few years, our emotions have often gotten the better of us. This book will restore your sense of control—and make you feel less alone in the world. Liz and Mollie do an outstanding job bringing your fuzziest feelings into sharp focus.”
—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife
“The rise of stress, burnout, and anxiety is one of the most urgent issues of our time. Big Feelings is a vital guide to not only handling complex emotions but learning to thrive through difficult times—and emerge even more resilient.”
—Arianna Huffington, founder & CEO, Thrive Global
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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The Courage Habit
- How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life
- By: Kate Swoboda, Bari Tessler MA
- Narrated by: Kate Marcin
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Courage Habit, certified life coach Kate Swoboda offers freedom from the outdated belief that one must be fearless in order to live courageously. Instead, she defines courage as a willingness to act on what we want in spite of our fears and offers an evidence-based program to help readers conquer their inner critic, overcome worries, increase resilience, work toward their highest aspirations, and make courage a habit every day.
By: Kate Swoboda, and others
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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Procrastination
- Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now
- By: Jane B. Burka PhD, Lenora M. Yuen PhD
- Narrated by: Sandra Burr
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Based on their workshops and counseling experience, psychologists Jane B. Burka and Lenora M. Yuen offer a probing, sensitive, and at times humorous look at a problem that affects everyone: students and scientists, secretaries and executives, homemakers and salespeople. Procrastination identifies the reasons we put off tasks - fears of failure, success, control, separation, and attachment - and their roots in our childhood and adult experiences.
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Not as an audio book.
- By Lo on 04-13-12
By: Jane B. Burka PhD, and others
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Emotional First Aid
- Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries
- By: Guy Winch Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Guy Winch Ph.D.
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
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Explaining the long-term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr. Winch offers concrete, easy-to-use exercises backed up by hard cutting-edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humor as well.
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insightful and delightful
- By IngleSpanish.laugh.n.learn on 11-02-13
By: Guy Winch Ph.D.
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The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- By: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrated by: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
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Overall
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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Super You
- Release Your Inner Superhero
- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
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21 Days to Resilience
- How to Transcend the Daily Grind, Deal with the Tough Stuff, and Discover Your Strongest Self
- By: Zelana Montminy
- Narrated by: Heather Henderson
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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In 21 Days to Resilience, Dr. Zelana Montminy gives you a practical, concrete toolkit to develop your capacity to recover quickly. Each day of her powerful program, Dr. Montmimy introduces a key concept necessary to improve resiliency and enhance well-being - such as courage, focus, positivity, self-care, and social support - then provides three quick skills to accomplish. Throughout the book she teaches you lifelong skills you can continue to practice and return to as needed to keep your resiliency muscles strong.
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Helpful insight
- By Schase on 07-08-18
By: Zelana Montminy
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How to Get Sh*t Done
- Why Women Need to Stop Doing Everything So They Can Achieve Anything
- By: Erin Falconer
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Finally, in the first productivity book by a woman in a decade, Erin Falconer will show you how to do less - a lot less. In fact, How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to offload, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest. In How to Get Sh*t Done she shows how even the most perfectionistic among us can tap in to our inner free spirit and learn to feel like badasses rather than drudges.
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Not What I Expected
- By Justin Jones on 02-05-18
By: Erin Falconer
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Perfectly Hidden Depression
- How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression
- By: Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
- Narrated by: Eleanor Caudill
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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If you were raised to believe that painful emotions are a sign of weakness, or if being vulnerable has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have survived by creating a perfect-looking life - a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? You're filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can't allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly - only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).
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Amazing
- By Kimberly Davis on 10-27-20
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Frientimacy
- How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
- By: Shasta Nelson
- Narrated by: Robin Eller
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
By: Shasta Nelson
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Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
- By: Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
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Dissapointed
- By Aaron Olson on 11-04-15
By: Mark Goulston MD
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Nothing Changes Until You Do
- A Guide to Self-Compassion and Getting Out of Your Own Way
- By: Mike Robbins
- Narrated by: Mike Robbins
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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After three years of living his dream as a professional baseball pitcher, Mike Robbins had an arm injury that benched him for good, and when this happened, he had to figure out who he was without the identity of "baseball player" - a process fraught with emotional highs and lows. He quickly realized that the self-criticism and self-doubt he was feeling are epidemic in our culture. Too often we base our value on our external world - our jobs, finances, appearance, or various other factors.
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20% Inspiration, 80% Biography
- By Troy on 04-27-15
By: Mike Robbins
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The Secret Lives of Introverts
- Inside Our Hidden World
- By: Jenn Granneman
- Narrated by: Susie Berneis
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can't seem to access? Have you ever been told you're too quiet, shy, boring, or awkward? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn't seem to get you? If so, you might be an introvert. On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication.
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Unnecessary voices
- By Adrienne Warg on 09-13-19
By: Jenn Granneman
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If everyone read or heard this book, the world would be a better place
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In 2017, when she was only twenty-two, Lauren Simmons became the youngest full-time female trader at the New York Stock Exchange, and the second African American woman in the Exchange's 228-year history to hold such a position. Driven by a passion for empowering women, Millennials, Gen Zs, and minorities to become more financially savvy, she now shares her experience and knowledge in this savvy financial guide. Simmons brings a fresh perspective to personal finance.
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By: Lauren Simmons
What listeners say about Big Feelings
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- Jason
- 04-26-22
This book is amazing! Gives you great insight.
Love this book. Gives great insight into restoring your sense of control. Liz puts put incredible content
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- Tech Fluid
- 09-01-22
Life changing
Absolutely brilliant insight into emotions and healing modalities. I have truly enjoyed this masterpiece.
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- Etoile NEOhio
- 09-03-22
Some helpful information
Once you get past the authors' annoying voices, there was some good information in this book about dealing with big feelings. The last 50 or so minutes bored me. Notes to the authors:
1. Don't read all your acknowledgements aloud.
2. Do get some vocal coaching before you read another book that you wrote.
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- Krisztina
- 03-23-23
Amazing book
Loved the book! It was so insightful and relevant! It’s amazing to read such an authentic and thoughtful book about all feelings we might feel shame to talk about. Will re-read it and recommend to family and friends. Thank you, Liz and Mollie!
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- Jessica Anderson
- 10-19-22
Recommend to (almost) everyone
I really appreciate this book. The readers' stories and the authors' personal experiences add so much depth to the research of the main points. The book does not feel at all academic, so do not get scared by the word "research". There is so much valuable vulnerability, and our big feelings can be normalized through the lessons.
I first heard of the book when Molly was interviewed on a podcast I subscribe to, and I was captivated. The audiobook, read by the authors, is very easy to listen to. (That is, until one of the big feelings discussed brought up so much emotion that I had to stop and have a good cry.) I also plan to buy the printed version, and I plan to re-read the book. I am glad this book was published when it was, and I am thankful to experience it while it was so freshly relevant. Even so, the guidance is timeless!
I have so many big feelings myself, and I know people who are dealing with some extremely difficult circumstances, so I want to recommend the book to almost everyone. My one disappointment with the book is the frequent use of an expletive (quoted from people who had been interviewed for content examples, not directly from the authors). I can hear the story behind the words, and I did not give up on the book. Yet I know some people who really need the ideas and guidance of the book, but they are so closed-minded that they will not get past those expletives.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Erika Koontz
- 08-18-22
Feels like therapy (in a VERY good way)
Seriously, this book felt like I was in a therapy session. It was hard to get through, but only because I'm also working through hard stuff right now with my own therapist. I've never felt this deep of a connection with an audio book before. I felt understood. The authors' voices are so soothing. I'll be listening to this again and again, to help me through the many seasons of life and remember that if I did the hard thing once, I can do it and other hard things again.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Akanksha
- 05-26-23
Excellent book for current times!
Many of us are currently going through a barrage of feelings and this book helps us navigate through our own feelings and being able to add resources in our toolkit to deal with these feelings. Thank you for writing such a relatable book!
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- Adam and Andrea Burton
- 04-30-22
Big Feelings, Big Likes
I really liked this book. It does not labor points like many self help books and can shift the tone from wit to vulnerability with the natural voice of a conversation with a friend. In many ways the theme of this book is having patience and grace with yourself and putting your Big Feelings to work for you. The chapters on anger, burnout, despair, and perfectionism stood out to me as highlights. Liz and Mollie take care in their handling of serious mental health issues and offer resources for those awaking help as well.
Overall, the subject matter, the tone, and the illustrations stood out and made this one an easy, enjoyable, and insightful read on some heavy subjects.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Demiel
- 07-30-23
Great! New things as well
Great book! I read a lot of self empowerment, and this had some new things in it, as well as a good general overview. I especially liked the revenge bedtime procrastination, I didn’t realize it had a name. That plus the authors’ vulnerability was really great. I didn’t quite deliver on the promises I was hoping for of actually how to deal with these big emotions. But overall I liked it and would recommend.
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