De-Escalate
How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less
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Narrated by:
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Aleya Dao
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By:
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Douglas E. Noll
About this listen
Discover how to successfully and efficiently calm an angry person or diffuse a volatile situation in 90 seconds or less with this proven and accessible peacekeeping method by self-described "lawyer turned peacemaker" Douglas E. Noll.
We live in an increasingly divided world, and most of us have encountered our fair share of aggressive people and difficult confrontations. Fortunately, we now have the tools to become peacemakers and transform emotionally volatile situations and hurt feelings to calm, nonaggressive ones.
Tested on prison inmates, De-Escalate offers a new set of social listening and communication skills based on the latest findings in neuroscience and meditation. Along with practical exercises and scenario-based examples, each chapter focuses on specific themes, such as dealing with emotionally charged teenagers and frustrated coworkers. Additionally, Noll shares practical tips on how to be civil in an uncivil society.
With De-Escalate, we can bring peace to all facets of life, cultivate healthier relationships, and participate in creating a more caring and compassionate future for us all.
©2017 Douglas E. Noll (P)2017 Atria Books/Beyond WordsListeners also enjoyed...
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
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- An Essential Guide
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Popular parenting blogger Rebecca Eanes shares her hard-won wisdom for overcoming limiting thought patterns and recognizing emotional triggers, as well as advice for connecting with kids at each stage, from infancy to adolescence. This heartfelt, insightful advice comes not from an "expert," but from a learning, evolving parent.
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It saved my life
- By Samantha khalil on 05-22-17
By: Rebecca Eanes
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Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
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Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
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Dissapointed
- By Aaron Olson on 11-04-15
By: Mark Goulston MD
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
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- Narrated by: Gary Galone
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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The Gentle Sleep Book
- For Calm Babies, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
- By: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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Self-Esteem
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The much-anticipated fourth edition of the best-selling classic by Matthew McKay, Self-Esteem is the go-to guide for those seeking to increase their sense of self-worth. This fully revised new edition features an innovative application of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to self-esteem and utilizes updated cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help listeners create positive change and thrive.
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for professionals only
- By Sharon B on 01-12-21
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The Undervalued Self
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
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Boundaries with Kids
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What the award-winning, best-selling Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide the help and guidance you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.
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Not what I would recommend as a therapist who works primarily with children
- By Amanda on 02-12-21
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Crucial Conversations
- Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
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- Narrated by: Anna Fields
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When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences; or check out Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. Crucial Conversations gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want.
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Probably the worste nagging sounding narrator
- By Alexander on 09-27-21
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The Science of Stuck
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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Great info; needs a cast, PDF and a website update
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What listeners say about De-Escalate
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- gkou
- 08-20-19
Tricky but solid
Its tricky to use, but even the concept if you grasp is worthwhile your time
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- djhalcon
- 01-28-18
Practical Training for Promoting Peace
Research-based practices presented in an accessible format, the tools in De-Escalate have many possible applications. I recommend this book to therapists, parents, teachers, workers...anyone who would benefit from being able to listen deeply and diffuse difficult or even violent situations.
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- Hdc
- 03-24-20
Forr anyone who has ever had a confrontation!
very easy read with practical advice. will take practice but can already see it working
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- Karen Mazur
- 02-05-21
Practical and helpful
There are loads of examples to help demonstrate the principles explained in this book. Its a great reference book that I will be revisiting again and again. Definitely an essential life skill tool.
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- Will Flanigan
- 01-15-18
Useful and practical
Great book thank you for all the resources. The book has changed my relationship with my 5 year old in a great way.
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- Evelina
- 04-02-18
If everyone could read this book, the world would be different!
This book is so much more and beyond than calming angry person. The matrix of the emotional Invalidation we all go through is relentless and abusive. I feel if our parents knew this, if we knew this for our children life would have been so much easier and happier. The only thing I am sad is that I didn’t know about this techniques and had understanding of this concept earlier! Gratitude Gratitude! Please read/listen to this book and keep sharing it!
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4 people found this helpful
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- John
- 07-29-22
this book helped me a lot
This book has given me a lot of insight of how can i function in other sense. I see my self as a person which can develop my self in the area of Emotional inteligence. It also teached me how to not take things personal. When someone is angry at me i need to not listen to the words but instead to the emotions.
Overall i think this is a book which gives life lessons.
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- katattack
- 04-01-20
Very Useful Info, Terrible Narrator
The author clearly has a lot of experience in mediation and provides a clear framework for dealing with others' and one's own charged emotions. Unfortunately the narrator is, for me, almost unlistenable. I'm sure she is a lovely person, but I will forever be baffled as to why someone with great information to share would choose a bad narrator. Her inflection is off, her reading is wooden and mechanical, and she has this distracting habit of making a nasal sound before "th" words, so that they come out like ,"nngthis," and "nngthe." But this audible oddity is not limited to "th" words alone, so I spent a great deal of the book in cringing anticipation of the next time it would happen. If the writing had been poor or the topic less interesting I would have stopped listening based upon her performance alone.
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- Jim W Hildreth
- 01-07-18
De-Escalate wisdom in every chapter.
Douglas E Knoll wisdom and experience is shared in every chapter. The reading by Aleya Dao is calm and comfortable.
It's a must read for anyone that is interested in the notching down of emotional conflicts and a passage to peaceful resolutions and problem solving.
As a Mediator this book, will be apart of my tool box to practice and adapt and re-read.
Thank you Doug Knoll for sharing, you are respected, admired and given the reader a true gift of your experience and talents.
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- Deborah Hale
- 01-24-19
Amazing new skills
A whole new level of listening, responding, and understanding (self and others) through de-escalation. Recommended!
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1 person found this helpful