
If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry
How Death, Debt, and Comedy Led to a Life of Faith, Farming, and Forgetting What I Came into This Room For
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Narrated by:
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Molly Stillman
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Lisa Larsen
About this listen
Read by the author.
Some people have life all figured out. This book is for the rest of us.
Molly Stillman has lived the type of life that when shared, people stop in their tracks and ask “Wait, what happened?” Molly’s mother, Lynda Van Devanter Buckley, served as an Army nurse during the Vietnam War and wrote the bestselling memoir Home Before Morning. When Molly was seventeen, Lynda passed away after an eight-year battle with an autoimmune disorder due to her exposure to Agent Orange. Four years later Molly turned twenty-one and unexpectedly inherited a quarter of a million dollars from her mother’s estranged family’s estate. Through “retail therapy” and a long series of grossly irresponsible financial decisions, Molly found herself broke with over $36,000 in credit card debt less than two years later. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment set in.
With aspirations of a career in comedy, Molly used humor to mask the pain and brokenness she felt, believing that if she looked joyful and put together on the outside, it would eventually be true on the inside. Instead, she spent the next few years depressed, lonely, and feeling alienated from those closest to her. But an unlikely call with a compassionate credit counselor, meeting the spreadsheet-loving man who eventually became her husband, and a surprising visit to a church started her on a path that changed everything.
If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry offers humor and hope to all of us who have struggled to reconcile the life we are living with the life we thought we wanted to have. Molly will bring you into the tension of feeling both joy and grief and show you that every broken, messed up story has a purpose, and it’s possible to gain everything if you’re willing to surrender it all to Jesus.
©2024 Molly Stillman (P)2024 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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Summer 1940: Hedy Bercu fled Vienna two years ago. Now she watches the skies over Jersey for German planes, convinced that an invasion is imminent. When it finally comes, there is no counterattack from Allied forces - the Channel Islands are simply not worth defending. Most islanders and occupying forces settle into an uneasy coexistence, but for Hedy, the situation is perilously different. For Hedy is Jewish — a fact that could mean deportation, or worse.
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Might be good
- By Anonymous User on 11-26-21
By: Jenny Lecoat
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Ghosted
- An American Story
- By: Nancy French
- Narrated by: Nancy French
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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A compelling, thought-provoking memoir about Nancy French's journey from her family's mountain roots to success as a ghostwriter, only to be rejected by her party, church, and community. Ghosted by New York Times bestselling author Nancy French is for all who were alienated by those closest to them and left spiritually and politically homeless.
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I Had No Idea This Book Would Be This Good
- By Brian A. on 05-06-24
By: Nancy French
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Invisible Influence
- The Hidden Forces That Shape Behavior
- By: Jonah Berger
- Narrated by: Keith Nobbs
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're like most people, you think that your choices and behaviors are driven by your individual personal tastes and opinions. You wear a certain jacket because you like the way it looks. You picked a particular career because you found it interesting. The notion that our choices are driven by our own personal thoughts and opinions is patently obvious. Right? Wrong. Without our realizing it, other people's behavior has a huge influence on everything we do at every moment of our lives, from the mundane to the momentous occasion.
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Disappointing and lightweight
- By Gerry on 07-25-16
By: Jonah Berger
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The Friendship Contract
- Terms & Conditions Series, Book 1
- By: Mia Heintzelman
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan, Myles Washington
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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This contract is entered into by and between Allegra Malone and Damon Dawson. The term of this agreement shall begin immediately and continue through its termination date of never. The terms are as follows: Find the bright side when your best friend (the woman you’ve secretly been in love with for 10+ years) finds an engagement ring in her live-in boyfriend’s gym bag.
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Cute quick listen
- By Sandra Felton on 01-07-25
By: Mia Heintzelman
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Deliberate Calm
- How to Learn and Lead in a Volatile World
- By: Jacqueline Brassey, Aaron De Smet, Michiel Kruyt
- Narrated by: Samantha Desz
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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A trio of McKinsey & Company veterans draws from a unique combination of psychology, neuroscience, and consciousness practices plus a combined 50-plus years of international board room experience to offer a unique approach to learning and leading with awareness and intentional choice, even amidst the most challenging circumstances.
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Really insightful and also practical
- By Johnson on 04-08-23
By: Jacqueline Brassey, and others
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Die Hot with a Vengeance
- Essays on Vanity
- By: Sable Yong
- Narrated by: Sable Yong
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist and former Allure editor Sable Yong debuts with a sharp-toothed and hilarious essay collection about beauty and vanity, examining their stigmatization in the cultural zeitgeist, and how to shift the focus to use both for powerful tools for self-exploration, interpersonal connection, and cultural change.
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Gems
- By Charlie Brown on 08-20-24
By: Sable Yong
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The Midwife of Hope River
- A Novel of an American Midwife
- By: Patricia Harman
- Narrated by: Anne Wittman
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Midwife Patience Murphy has a gift: a talent for escorting mothers through the challenges of bringing children into the world. Working in the hardscrabble conditions of Appalachia during the Depression, Patience takes the jobs that no one else wants, helping those most in need - and least likely to pay. She knows a successful midwifery practice must be built on a foundation of openness and trust - but the secrets Patience is keeping are far too intimate and fragile for her to ever let anyone in.
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Coal Mines, The Depression, and Lots of Babies
- By Debbie on 03-06-19
By: Patricia Harman
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Angel Falls
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Bruce Reizen
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Michaela, beloved wife and mother of two, lies in a coma. Doctors have told her husband Liam not to expect a recovery, but he maintains hope that love can accomplish what medicine cannot. Day after day, he sits by her bedside, holding her hand, sharing the stories of their life together. Then he discovers the evidence of his wife's secret past - a long hidden first marriage to international movie star Julian True.
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Terrible Narrator
- By lomo7678 on 08-21-14
By: Kristin Hannah
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Home Front
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Maggi-Meg Reed
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Abridged
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Like many couples, Michael and Jolene Zarkades have to face the pressures of everyday life—children, careers, bills, chores—even as their twelve-year marriage is falling apart. Then a deployment sends Jolene deep into harm's way and leaves defense attorney Michael at home, unaccustomed to being a single parent to their two girls. As a mother, it agonizes Jolene to leave her family, but as a solider, she has always understood the true meaning of duty. In her letters home, she paints a rose-colored version of her life on the front lines, shielding her family from the truth.
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Definitely wish I had read and not listened....
- By Tammy on 02-10-12
By: Kristin Hannah
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The Self-Healing Mind
- An Essential Five-Step Practice for Overcoming Anxiety and Depression, and Revitalizing Your Life
- By: Gregory Scott Brown
- Narrated by: Gregory Scott Brown
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Mental health is the driving force behind every decision we make—how we live, work, and love. Many of us suffer from depression and anxiety, which impede our choices and quality of life, and despite the proliferation of prescription drugs, the numbers are growing across the globe. But there is another, proven way to achieve mental wellness, beyond antidepressants and talk therapy. Practicing psychiatrist Gregory Scott Brown believes that mental health begins with actionable self-care.
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initially thought it was crap
- By Amazon Customer on 01-12-25
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Distant Shores
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Bernadette Quigley
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth and Jackson Shore married young, raised two daughters, and weathered the storms of youth as they built a future together. But after the children leave home, they quietly drift apart. When Jack accepts a wonderful new job offer, Elizabeth puts her needs aside to follow him across the country. Until the sudden death of her father changes everything.
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Hit way too close to home
- By The Wylder Skye on 01-28-17
By: Kristin Hannah
What listeners say about If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Roma Sierk
- 06-05-24
Wow what an impact on my life
When I first started this book, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Was it going to be comedy or tragedy? I discovered that it was both.
Molly, your story is so close to my own… I was in awe that you had written this book for me. I can’t thank you enough. Your book has been an inspiration and a healing blessing for me. God bless you.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tpope
- 02-26-25
Thank you for sharing your story
We all should tell our story cause they’re not our stories. They’re his stories. His timing is all always perfect and thankful you read the book yourself.
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- Mom of 1
- 10-31-24
I laughed and I cried!
I loved this book! I could not stop listening! Molly is such a great storyteller, and hearing her tell her story herself makes it all the better. The book is raw and vulnerable, and a true testament to the faithfulness of the Lord.
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- Sarah
- 07-02-24
intentional vulnerability that leads others to the truth
We all need a savior and this book illustrates God's patient grace with tears, laughter, and reality.
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- Amanda Allbright
- 08-02-24
Beautiful, Vulnerable, Funny
I heard about this book from listening to an Enneagram podcast that Molly was interviewed on. I also am a 2 wing 3 so I wanted to hear her story. The beginning part about the Vietnam War was challenging for me to hear about, but I enjoyed the story more and more as I continued to listen. Molly is hilarious and I loved hearing her voice share her story. Her comedy sketch characters were truly funny. There were several raw, heart clenching moments as well. My favorite part was the bank lady phone call. 💗 💗💗 Thanks, Molly, for your vulnerability! It’s a beautiful story.
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- Beth
- 10-12-24
Fantastic!!
Phenomenal book! It was very enjoyable as it was read by the author, was best listened to!
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- Kristin Edwards
- 04-24-24
Funny, raw and real
How brave to show so much of your life, the dark parts most of us hide and are scared for the light to hit. Thank you. It was funny and raw and I loved every word. What a blessing it was to hear it spoken by Molly herself. Feels like that long catch up with a friend you haven’t seen in decades. A story of faith, encouragement, grief, childhood. I loved it, thank you for sharing your story with us.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-14-24
Lost me after the first half
The book started out good, interesting topics but the second half unfortunately took a turn to recounting her bad relationships then Bible preaching. Not a book I would recommend.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Brooke Sparks
- 01-25-25
Boring. Not hilarious
The author was a comedian and her mother has a compelling story, but this was not hilarious. There were lots of clichés and honestly, it wasn’t riveting or attention. I was disappointed.
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