
If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry
How Death, Debt, and Comedy Led to a Life of Faith, Farming, and Forgetting What I Came into This Room For
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Narrated by:
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Molly Stillman
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Lisa Larsen
About this listen
Read by the author.
Some people have life all figured out. This book is for the rest of us.
Molly Stillman has lived the type of life that when shared, people stop in their tracks and ask “Wait, what happened?” Molly’s mother, Lynda Van Devanter Buckley, served as an Army nurse during the Vietnam War and wrote the bestselling memoir Home Before Morning. When Molly was seventeen, Lynda passed away after an eight-year battle with an autoimmune disorder due to her exposure to Agent Orange. Four years later Molly turned twenty-one and unexpectedly inherited a quarter of a million dollars from her mother’s estranged family’s estate. Through “retail therapy” and a long series of grossly irresponsible financial decisions, Molly found herself broke with over $36,000 in credit card debt less than two years later. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment set in.
With aspirations of a career in comedy, Molly used humor to mask the pain and brokenness she felt, believing that if she looked joyful and put together on the outside, it would eventually be true on the inside. Instead, she spent the next few years depressed, lonely, and feeling alienated from those closest to her. But an unlikely call with a compassionate credit counselor, meeting the spreadsheet-loving man who eventually became her husband, and a surprising visit to a church started her on a path that changed everything.
If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry offers humor and hope to all of us who have struggled to reconcile the life we are living with the life we thought we wanted to have. Molly will bring you into the tension of feeling both joy and grief and show you that every broken, messed up story has a purpose, and it’s possible to gain everything if you’re willing to surrender it all to Jesus.
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- A New Translation by M. A. S. Abdel Haleem
- By: M. A. S. Abdel Haleem - translator
- Narrated by: Ayman Haleem
- Length: 19 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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The Qur'an, believed by Muslims to be the word of God, was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad 1,400 years ago. It is the supreme authority in Islam and the living source of all Islamic teaching; it is a sacred text and a book of guidance that sets out the creed, rituals, ethics, and laws of the Islamic religion. It has been one of the most influential books in the history of literature. Recognized as the greatest literary masterpiece in Arabic, it has nevertheless remained difficult to understand in its English translations.
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Missing chapter 44
- By Anonymous User on 05-29-19
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Neville Goddard: The Complete Reader
- By: Neville Goddard
- Narrated by: Barry J. Peterson
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Neville Goddard: The Complete Reader, Includes all 10 of Neville Goddard's Spiritual Classics: At Your Command, Awakened Imagination & the Search, Feeling is the Secret, Freedom For All, Out of This World, Prayer, The Art of Believing, Seedtime and Harvest, The Law and The Promise, The Power of Awareness, and Your Faith Is Your Fortune. If you are familiar with the great American mystic, this will be a goldmine of wisdom in one book. If you are new to his work, you are in for a spiritual journey.
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Hidden Gem
- By TrauntsiePants on 05-22-18
By: Neville Goddard
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Buddhism for Beginners
- By: Thubten Chodron, His Holiness the Dalai Lama - foreword
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 4 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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This user’s guide to Buddhist basics takes the most commonly asked questions - beginning with “What is the essence of the Buddha’s teachings?” - and provides simple answers in plain English. Thubten Chodron’s responses to the questions that always seem to arise among people approaching Buddhism make this an exceptionally complete and accessible introduction - as well as a manual for living a more peaceful, mindful, and satisfying Life.
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Amazing introduction to Buddhism
- By chad d on 07-02-15
By: Thubten Chodron, and others
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The Wisdom of the Shamans:
- What the Ancient Masters Can Teach Us About Love and Life
- By: Don Jose Ruiz
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Wisdom of the Shamans: What the Ancient Masters Can Teach Us about Love and Life, Toltec shaman and master storyteller Don Jose Ruiz shares some of the most popular stories from his family's oral tradition and offers corresponding lessons that illustrate the larger ideas within each story. According to Ruiz, their teachings are not primitive or reserved for a chosen few initiates but are instead a powerful series of lessons on love and life that are available us all.
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Wooowzers
- By nicole tillman on 07-28-18
By: Don Jose Ruiz
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My Big TOE: Awakening
- Book One of a Trilogy Unifying Philosophy, Physics, and Metaphysics
- By: Thomas Campbell
- Narrated by: Thomas Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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My Big TOE: Awakening, written by a nuclear physicist in the language of contemporary culture, unifies science and philosophy, physics and metaphysics, mind and matter, purpose and meaning, the normal and the paranormal. The entirety of human experience (mind, body, and spirit) including both our objective and subjective worlds is brought together under one seamless scientific understanding.
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What a Trip (but to where?)
- By Michael on 11-26-13
By: Thomas Campbell
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Fire Island, a thin strip of beach off the Long Island coast, has long been a vital space in the queer history of America. Both utopian and exclusionary, healing and destructive, the island is a locus of contradictions, all of which coalesce against a stunning ocean backdrop. Now, poet and scholar Jack Parlett tells the story of this iconic destination—its history, its meaning and its cultural significance—told through the lens of the artists and creators who sought refuge on its shores.
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Echoing among the Blue Ridge Mountains were the cries of newborn babies that disappeared into the night. The screams of children nearly drowned out by the sound of crickets. A girl, hidden and waiting to be found, terrified, and confused. The fireflies sparkling in the woods, bringing light to darkled places.
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Consent
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Consent is the story of one precocious young girl’s stolen adolescence. Devastating in its honesty, Vanessa’s painstakingly memoir lays bare the cultural attitudes and circumstances that made it possible for a 13-year-old girl to become involved with a 50-year-old man who happened to be a notable writer. As she recalls the events of her childhood and her seduction by one of her country’s most notable writers, Vanessa reflects on the ways in which this disturbing relationship changed and affected her as she grew older.
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True fable deeply moving
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Home Before Morning
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Lynda Van Devanter was the girl next door, the cheerleader who went to Catholic schools, enjoyed sports, and got along well with her four sisters and parents. After high school she attended nursing school and then did something that would shatter her secure world for the rest of her life: in 1969, she joined the army and was shipped to Vietnam. When she arrived in Vietnam her idealistic view of the war vanished quickly. She worked long hours in cramped, ill-equipped, understaffed operating rooms. She saw friends die.
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Real, raw story of a Vietnam Nurse
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First Women
- The Grace and Power of America's Modern First Ladies
- By: Kate Andersen Brower
- Narrated by: Karen White
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In one of the most underestimated - and challenging - positions in the world, the first lady of the United States must be many things: an inspiring leader with a forward-thinking agenda of her own; a savvy politician, skilled at navigating the treacherous rapids of Washington; a wife and mother operating under constant scrutiny; and an able CEO responsible for the smooth operation of countless services and special events at the White House.
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Who is missing?
- By Southern belle on 05-07-16
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The Hidden Peace
- Finding True Security, Strength, and Confidence Through Humility
- By: Joel Muddamalle
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- Unabridged
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There are inescapable aspects of life we are all marked by. We have less control than we want, more anxiety than we're comfortable with and just enough insecurity to continually remind us of our shortcomings. To experience these things is to be human. We aren't superheroes and invincibility isn't an option.
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Wonderful theological focus on the power of humanity
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What listeners say about If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Roma Sierk
- 06-05-24
Wow what an impact on my life
When I first started this book, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Was it going to be comedy or tragedy? I discovered that it was both.
Molly, your story is so close to my own… I was in awe that you had written this book for me. I can’t thank you enough. Your book has been an inspiration and a healing blessing for me. God bless you.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Mom of 1
- 10-31-24
I laughed and I cried!
I loved this book! I could not stop listening! Molly is such a great storyteller, and hearing her tell her story herself makes it all the better. The book is raw and vulnerable, and a true testament to the faithfulness of the Lord.
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- Tpope
- 02-26-25
Thank you for sharing your story
We all should tell our story cause they’re not our stories. They’re his stories. His timing is all always perfect and thankful you read the book yourself.
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- Sarah
- 07-02-24
intentional vulnerability that leads others to the truth
We all need a savior and this book illustrates God's patient grace with tears, laughter, and reality.
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- Beth
- 10-12-24
Fantastic!!
Phenomenal book! It was very enjoyable as it was read by the author, was best listened to!
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- Kristin Edwards
- 04-24-24
Funny, raw and real
How brave to show so much of your life, the dark parts most of us hide and are scared for the light to hit. Thank you. It was funny and raw and I loved every word. What a blessing it was to hear it spoken by Molly herself. Feels like that long catch up with a friend you haven’t seen in decades. A story of faith, encouragement, grief, childhood. I loved it, thank you for sharing your story with us.
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- Amanda Allbright
- 08-02-24
Beautiful, Vulnerable, Funny
I heard about this book from listening to an Enneagram podcast that Molly was interviewed on. I also am a 2 wing 3 so I wanted to hear her story. The beginning part about the Vietnam War was challenging for me to hear about, but I enjoyed the story more and more as I continued to listen. Molly is hilarious and I loved hearing her voice share her story. Her comedy sketch characters were truly funny. There were several raw, heart clenching moments as well. My favorite part was the bank lady phone call. 💗 💗💗 Thanks, Molly, for your vulnerability! It’s a beautiful story.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-14-24
Lost me after the first half
The book started out good, interesting topics but the second half unfortunately took a turn to recounting her bad relationships then Bible preaching. Not a book I would recommend.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Brooke Sparks
- 01-25-25
Boring. Not hilarious
The author was a comedian and her mother has a compelling story, but this was not hilarious. There were lots of clichés and honestly, it wasn’t riveting or attention. I was disappointed.
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