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Living and Loving After Betrayal
- How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
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Publisher's summary
Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well-being and never intentionally hurt you. If you've recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and to build new, loving relationships.
In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful Compassion Power program. He founded the Compassion Power agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values.
In this audiobook, you'll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach. Most audiobooks on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This audiobook explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the audiobook helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
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Story
Are you in an abusive or unhappy relationship? Do you try too hard to please your friends at the expense of your own needs and wants? Are you subservient to others and do you find yourself unable to become independent? Do you suffer from negative self-talk? These are all signs that your self-care regimen is deficient in some way. The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care tackles the common problems of effective self-care with practical suggestions for practices that will create a sustainable, lifelong self-care routine.
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Very helpful
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
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insightful and delightful
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Pathological mind games. Covert and overt put-downs. Triangulation. Gaslighting. Projection. These are the manipulative tactics survivors of malignant narcissists are unfortunately all too familiar with. As victims of silent crimes where the perpetrators are rarely held accountable, survivors of narcissistic abuse have lived in a war zone of epic proportions, enduring an abuse cycle of love-bombing and devaluation - psychological violence on steroids.
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A “Powerful” book
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By: Shahida Arabi
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Rewire
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- By: Richard O'Connor Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
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We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again - whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, our umpteenth diet, or engaging in any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In Rewire, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains - one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that does most of the work without our attention.
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Meh
- By Grateful on 12-31-14
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Religious Slant Takes Away from Seriousness
- By Mr. Xtabay on 07-16-20
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Anger Management Workbook for Men
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Clinical therapist Aaron Karmin teaches you the skills to manage your anger without aggression and build up your self-confidence, self-control, and self-respect. The Anger Management Workbook for Men goes beyond why men get angry and helps you get to the root of your anger. It gives you positive and productive anger management tools to strengthen the most important and most overlooked relationship in your life - your relationship with yourself.
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just not good at all.
- By brian gregory on 06-02-22
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
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Very Helpful
- By Peppertaz on 03-04-17
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You Are Not What You Think
- The Egoless Path to Self-Esteem and Generous Love
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You and your ego: how to develop a healthy sense of self without becoming an egotist - and how to see through that sense of self for the happiness of yourself and others. How can you build the healthy ego necessary to be effective in life - yet avoid the kind of egotism that makes people dislike you? Don't worry; Dave Richo has the answers. His new book shows you how to navigate the tricky waters between egotism and selflessness in a way that avoids both extremes and makes you much more effective and loving.
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Extraordinarily Revealing
- By Steve D. on 12-16-21
By: David Richo
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Emotional Chaos to Clarity
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Despite our best-laid plans, life can often be difficult, disappointing, and stressful. Consequently, when things don’t go right, we are often left in a state of emotional chaos, dealing with feelings like anger, anxiety, frustration, and doubt, which can cloud our perspective and negatively affect the way we live our lives. But in this inspiring book, Phillip Moffitt shows us that we need not be at the mercy of our emotions. By cultivating a responsive mind rather than a reactive one, we can achieve a state of emotional clarity.
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You Are Not Your Emotions
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In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents' feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
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Life Changing
- By Michele Leigh Brown on 05-16-21
By: Darlene Lancer
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for betrayed women - not men!
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Great. But too Female Centric
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The Betrayal Bind
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What happens when your partner, your primary person, in an instant, becomes a source of danger and pain? The Betrayal Bind introduces new language, concepts, and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
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Sex With a Cheating Person?! NO!
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Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal: The Essential Tools for Healing
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After more than 10 years of research and study, Dr. Kevin Skinner's Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal offers valuable insight into why a partner's sexual behaviors outside of a committed relationship creates symptoms that match post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This book provides an in-depth view into the lives of individuals suffering from trauma after sexual betrayal. Using his research data from more than 5,000 individuals who have experienced betrayal, Dr. Skinner outlines why betrayal triggers trauma and then provides the essential tools for healing.
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What a healing book
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Very Helpful
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Great. But too Female Centric
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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity - but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters - their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs.
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If you have had multiple D-Days BUY this book now
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AudioBook needs PDF file
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Infidelity: The Best Worst Thing That Could Happen to Your Marriage was written to help couples navigate their way to healing after experiencing the devastating impact of physical and emotional affairs. Listening to this book will allow you the opportunity to process the affair, assess the damage, and make an informed choice about the future of your relationship.
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night time bed story
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
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Really Helped! Read it!
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Coming Apart
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Title does not reflect the content
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Rebuild the lost trust in your relationship, heal from the trauma of infidelity, and create a stronger, more resilient marriage with a proven program based on 22 years of clinical experience. Nothing hurts more than discovering your partner has been unfaithful. But an affair doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or that your relationship is over. Many couples have recovered from infidelity and saved their marriages. You can too.
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realness
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After infidelity, relationships can become strained as both partners lose trust and faith in each other. Author Tammy Nelson helps couples regain trust, romance, and intimacy after infidelity by redefining the monogamy contract. The new monogamy contract is an explicit relationship agreement created after the affair that allows each partner to safely share their desires, expectations, and limitations. After an affair, it's impossible to go back to the way the relationship was before, but this book offers the chance for a new beginning.
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Innovative and informative
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You've made a commitment to see your marriage healed, so now what? Whether your relationship is recovering from an affair, pornography addiction, or just years of coasting, Cindy Beall shares from her redeemed-marriage journey to help you heal deeply by restoring faith in a future, build wisely from the foundation up, invest generously in your marriage and in other people, and much more.
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Wisdom, hope, and strength providing
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Empowered Love
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Ever wonder why your self-control, rationality, and compassion seem to go out the window when dealing with your partner? Couples therapist and psychiatrist Steven Stosny explains it all in this revelatory book about the divide between our adult and our toddler brains. Too often, conflict in our intimate relationships reactivates our least-regulated "toddler" side, bringing out an instinctive desire to assert our own way and make everything a zero-sum game. Dr. Stosny shows the way toward overcoming these destructive impulses.
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Very useful
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What listeners say about Living and Loving After Betrayal
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-05-24
My thoughts and feelings were validated.
I am so thankful that this book existed, and that I listened to it. I will listen again and do the exercises
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- RJ
- 03-17-21
One of the best books on betrayal recovery
The book provides a roadmap to work on healing after betrayal, whether you decide to stay with your spouse or not.
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- Amber
- 12-12-19
A lot of great information and views
Although some have complained in their reviews about the book having lessons at the end of each chapter and found it hard doing them, I just paused where I needed, did the ones I wanted and took notes on things I felt were important reminders for me to use in the future. I REALLY enjoyed this book, it had A LOT of great information, different ways to view situations and I'm sure I'll be referring back to it and listening to it again as I complete my healing.
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Performance
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- Jenny
- 06-22-23
My Power is within
This book has helped me realize the healing is within myself and I do have control of my own life.
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- Kendal Omdahl
- 02-08-18
Read This For You And Them
to be betrayed by the one you gave your heart to can hurt. For me it led to self distructive behaviors which of course just adds to the pain. This book is an excellent map of how to go through the jungle of resentments, pains, and depressions..... life is short so use all the tools you can :-)
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2 people found this helpful
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- Chris
- 02-17-18
emotional pain is real but so is the healing
I am not going into details about my personal experience but I want to say that if you are being overwrought with emotions that are overwhelming you because of a sense of emotional betrayal you should consider this book as a potential tool with real exercises that actually can work to at first break the spiral of sorrow, fear, despair and anger that can drag you down if you don't take positive steps to heal yourself and that if you not try you are very likely to fail to recover. My favorite "qoute", if I recall correctly, the feelings you might be acting on are "not you" and you need to seek values the reinforce who you really are but please , if you are hurting now, go to the source before rejecting it out if my poor effort to praise it and of course do not rely upon it as your sole support, friends, family even strangers or maybe professional counselors if course but know this, people do care. Good luck.
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- Candace Delao
- 12-06-22
Highly recommended book for healing
I found myself at a place where I didn’t like who I was becoming. I fluctuated between moods of depression and anger. I always thought of myself as a kind and loving person, but I had lost who I was during a three year period after I discovered my husband’s infidelity. This book has helped me rediscover my core values and live my life more fully as I act upon them. Although the betrayal wasn’t my fault, no one could do the heart work of healing that needed (and continues) to be done but me. This book is like a breath of fresh air and just what I needed to find myself again.
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- Leslie
- 02-22-17
Best book Ive found for recovery.
2.5 years ago my husband of 25 years had an affair with his co worker who was 21 years younger than me. He told me he never really was in love with me but now he knew what real love was. Ive listened to dozens of these books and this is absolutely the best. If you can follow this advise you will recover. Ive listened to it ten times now. It has changed my life.
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5 people found this helpful
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- CG
- 04-15-18
A complete explanation of how betrayal impacts humans
This book was recommended to me by a very good therapist who was helping me work through betrayal trauma. I read many good books in search of healing but none of them hit the nail on the head the way this book did.
One particular part that helped me immensely is Stosny’s explanation of resentment, how it is created, the power it has to impact our behavior and how to let it go. It is so good, I have used a simplified version of it to teach others about resentment. The other really good part is how it clarifies what a person’s options are when a partner has been unfaithful. It’s common for people to feel like they don’t know what to do, but Stosny lays out what your only options are.
There is really only one part that I believe is inaccurate, wrong, and not helpful. There is a reference to men being ‘visual’ and not being able to refrain from ‘checking out’ (objectifying) other women they find attractive. Stosny says something to the effect that a female partner would just have to accept that her partner does this. It is wrong because 1. Men are not more visual than women. 2. Men are perfectly capable of controlling their actions. Ogling at women is a cultural conditioning that says ‘women are sexual objects for males, therefore it is acceptable that men do this because they are sexually entitled to women.’ 3. It can be very painful and humiliating for a women to have her partner do this. A man can end this base habit by being mindful about it. It would be much better to raise the bar than to give men another pass on harmful behavior.
With the one exception, the book is very very good and I have recommended it to several people. : )
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- Anonymous User
- 10-02-16
Insightful rewarding
I could not stop listening to it. So truthful and on target. Very helpful to those hurt by betrayal.
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2 people found this helpful