Living and Loving After Betrayal
How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment
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Narrated by:
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Arthur Morey
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By:
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Steven Stosny
About this listen
Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well-being and never intentionally hurt you. If you've recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and to build new, loving relationships.
In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful Compassion Power program. He founded the Compassion Power agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values.
In this audiobook, you'll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach. Most audiobooks on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This audiobook explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the audiobook helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.
©2013 Steven Stosny Ph.D. (P)2013 TantorCritic reviews
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Story
Talking to your partner after they’ve cheated is undeniably one of the toughest conversations you’ll ever have with them. You’ll be bubbling over with a ton of emotions - anger, upset, and frustration. The cheating partner will also have their own emotions to deal with - dread, uncertainty, and the shame of their actions.
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Thank you
- By Sam on 04-19-23
By: Rebekah Clarke
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How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
- A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful
- By: Linda J. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Tamara Marston
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.
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Very Helpful
- By Peppertaz on 03-04-17
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Recovering from the Affair
- Your Guide to Saving Your Marriage After Emotional or Physical Infidelity
- By: Lee H. Baucom PhD
- Narrated by: Lee H. Baucom PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Infidelity does not have to be the end of your marriage. Your marriage can recover and thrive after an affair. But only when you get to the roots of the problem, solve the issues, rebuild trust, and learn to move forward.
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Really Helped! Read it!
- By Sean McClasky on 10-08-24
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Healing Your Spouse After Your Affair
- How to Truly Understand Things from Your Partner's Perspective and Provide the Needed Support
- By: Laura Redmond
- Narrated by: Siobhan Hallinan
- Length: 3 hrs
- Unabridged
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Imagine the pain and devastation of discovering your partner has had an affair. The betrayal, the hurt, and the feeling of being torn apart from the person you once loved. You may feel like your world has been turned upside down, leaving you wondering if your relationship can ever be healed. But what if there was a way to mend the wounds and rebuild trust? This groundbreaking book reveals the secrets to healing your spouse after an affair, from understanding their perspective to providing the necessary support.
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Disappointed
- By Gabrielle LaGrandier on 05-26-24
By: Laura Redmond
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Intimate Deception
- Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal
- By: Dr. Sheri Keffer
- Narrated by: Dr. Sheri Keffer
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman who discovers that her husband has been viewing pornography or having an affair must deal with devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she thought she knew has lied and deceived her. She may even bear the brunt of shame and judgment when the people around her find out.
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Great. But too Female Centric
- By Gary Shlifer on 10-26-18
By: Dr. Sheri Keffer
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The Courage to Stay
- How to Heal from an Affair and Save Your Marriage
- By: Kathy Nickerson PhD
- Narrated by: Kathy Nickerson PhD
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Rebuild the lost trust in your relationship, heal from the trauma of infidelity, and create a stronger, more resilient marriage with a proven program based on 22 years of clinical experience. Nothing hurts more than discovering your partner has been unfaithful. But an affair doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or that your relationship is over. Many couples have recovered from infidelity and saved their marriages. You can too.
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realness
- By Amazon Customer on 04-18-24
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Not 'Just Friends'
- Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
- By: Shirley P. Glass Ph.D., Jean Coppock Staeheli
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 15 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
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WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day
- By K on 02-04-17
By: Shirley P. Glass Ph.D., and others
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New
- Healing the Broken Places, Resolving Unmet Expectations, Moving Your Relationship Forward
- By: Cindy Beall
- Narrated by: Laura Copland
- Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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You've made a commitment to see your marriage healed, so now what? Whether your relationship is recovering from an affair, pornography addiction, or just years of coasting, Cindy Beall shares from her redeemed-marriage journey to help you heal deeply by restoring faith in a future, build wisely from the foundation up, invest generously in your marriage and in other people, and much more.
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Wisdom, hope, and strength providing
- By Christopher on 06-19-18
By: Cindy Beall
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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life
- The Chump Lady's Survival Guide
- By: Tracy Schorn
- Narrated by: Laura Copland
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity - but saving your sanity. When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters - their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs.
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If you have had multiple D-Days BUY this book now
- By Dr. Caroline Madden on 06-07-19
By: Tracy Schorn
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Cheating in a Nutshell
- What Infidelity Does to the Victim
- By: Wayne Mitchell, Tamara Mitchell
- Narrated by: Sarah Zimmerman
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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After being cheated on, individuals may feel battered by emotion, with nowhere to turn, and no roadmap in sight. International relationship advice authors Wayne and Tamara Mitchell provide that roadmap through Cheating in a Nutshell: What Infidelity Does to the Victim.
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Very anti-forgiveness
- By Mom Of Many on 09-13-24
By: Wayne Mitchell, and others
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Getting Past the Affair
- A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On - Together or Apart
- By: Kristina Coop Gordon PhD, Donald H. Baucom PhD, Douglas K. Snyder PhD
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward.
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AudioBook needs PDF file
- By Mariama S Jalloh-Heyward on 02-26-19
By: Kristina Coop Gordon PhD, and others
What listeners say about Living and Loving After Betrayal
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-05-24
My thoughts and feelings were validated.
I am so thankful that this book existed, and that I listened to it. I will listen again and do the exercises
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- RJ
- 03-17-21
One of the best books on betrayal recovery
The book provides a roadmap to work on healing after betrayal, whether you decide to stay with your spouse or not.
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- Amber
- 12-12-19
A lot of great information and views
Although some have complained in their reviews about the book having lessons at the end of each chapter and found it hard doing them, I just paused where I needed, did the ones I wanted and took notes on things I felt were important reminders for me to use in the future. I REALLY enjoyed this book, it had A LOT of great information, different ways to view situations and I'm sure I'll be referring back to it and listening to it again as I complete my healing.
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- Jenny
- 06-22-23
My Power is within
This book has helped me realize the healing is within myself and I do have control of my own life.
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- Kendal Omdahl
- 02-08-18
Read This For You And Them
to be betrayed by the one you gave your heart to can hurt. For me it led to self distructive behaviors which of course just adds to the pain. This book is an excellent map of how to go through the jungle of resentments, pains, and depressions..... life is short so use all the tools you can :-)
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2 people found this helpful
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- Chris
- 02-17-18
emotional pain is real but so is the healing
I am not going into details about my personal experience but I want to say that if you are being overwrought with emotions that are overwhelming you because of a sense of emotional betrayal you should consider this book as a potential tool with real exercises that actually can work to at first break the spiral of sorrow, fear, despair and anger that can drag you down if you don't take positive steps to heal yourself and that if you not try you are very likely to fail to recover. My favorite "qoute", if I recall correctly, the feelings you might be acting on are "not you" and you need to seek values the reinforce who you really are but please , if you are hurting now, go to the source before rejecting it out if my poor effort to praise it and of course do not rely upon it as your sole support, friends, family even strangers or maybe professional counselors if course but know this, people do care. Good luck.
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- Candace Delao
- 12-06-22
Highly recommended book for healing
I found myself at a place where I didn’t like who I was becoming. I fluctuated between moods of depression and anger. I always thought of myself as a kind and loving person, but I had lost who I was during a three year period after I discovered my husband’s infidelity. This book has helped me rediscover my core values and live my life more fully as I act upon them. Although the betrayal wasn’t my fault, no one could do the heart work of healing that needed (and continues) to be done but me. This book is like a breath of fresh air and just what I needed to find myself again.
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- Leslie
- 02-22-17
Best book Ive found for recovery.
2.5 years ago my husband of 25 years had an affair with his co worker who was 21 years younger than me. He told me he never really was in love with me but now he knew what real love was. Ive listened to dozens of these books and this is absolutely the best. If you can follow this advise you will recover. Ive listened to it ten times now. It has changed my life.
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5 people found this helpful
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- CG
- 04-15-18
A complete explanation of how betrayal impacts humans
This book was recommended to me by a very good therapist who was helping me work through betrayal trauma. I read many good books in search of healing but none of them hit the nail on the head the way this book did.
One particular part that helped me immensely is Stosny’s explanation of resentment, how it is created, the power it has to impact our behavior and how to let it go. It is so good, I have used a simplified version of it to teach others about resentment. The other really good part is how it clarifies what a person’s options are when a partner has been unfaithful. It’s common for people to feel like they don’t know what to do, but Stosny lays out what your only options are.
There is really only one part that I believe is inaccurate, wrong, and not helpful. There is a reference to men being ‘visual’ and not being able to refrain from ‘checking out’ (objectifying) other women they find attractive. Stosny says something to the effect that a female partner would just have to accept that her partner does this. It is wrong because 1. Men are not more visual than women. 2. Men are perfectly capable of controlling their actions. Ogling at women is a cultural conditioning that says ‘women are sexual objects for males, therefore it is acceptable that men do this because they are sexually entitled to women.’ 3. It can be very painful and humiliating for a women to have her partner do this. A man can end this base habit by being mindful about it. It would be much better to raise the bar than to give men another pass on harmful behavior.
With the one exception, the book is very very good and I have recommended it to several people. : )
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 10-02-16
Insightful rewarding
I could not stop listening to it. So truthful and on target. Very helpful to those hurt by betrayal.
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2 people found this helpful