
The Dance of Connection
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Narrated by:
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Harriet Lerner
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By:
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Harriet Lerner
About this listen
In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:
- We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable
- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate
- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior
- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation
- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line"
- We are convinced that we've tried everything, and nothing changes
Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.
Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.
©1999 Harriet Lerner (P)2001 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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- By: Harriet Lerner
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-
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships, be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member.
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- By: Harriet Lerner
- Narrated by: Barbara Caruso
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.
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-
Quick, concise, tactics and a good narrator
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By: Harriet Lerner
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Marriage Rules
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- By: Harriet Lerner
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships. Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.)
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Opened my eyes
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By: Harriet Lerner
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Why Won't You Apologize?
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- By: Harriet Lerner PhD
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Renowned psychologist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language - I'm sorry - and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.
-
-
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The Mother Dance
- How Children Change Your Life
- By: Harriet Lerner
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them.
-
-
Decent information with slight author bias
- By Classic Movie Mom on 10-23-17
By: Harriet Lerner
-
The Dance of Connection
- How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
- By: Harriet Lerner
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- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching listeners to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives.
By: Harriet Lerner
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Overall
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Performance
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By: Harriet Lerner, and others
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- By: Harriet Lerner PhD
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Overall
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Performance
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-
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-
Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters
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Overall
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Before a woman is anything else, she is a daughter. Her relationship with her mother anchors every other relationship in her life. Yet as an adult she may still blame her mother, try to change her, or fail to speak out about issues that matter. Harriet Lerner on Mothers and Daughters is a personal conversation for every woman who seeks to better understand the mystery of the mother-daughter bond.
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Don’t bother if your mom has profound issues
- By J. F. Stevens on 10-21-19
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Play
- How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul
- By: Stuart Brown, Christopher Vaughan MD
- Narrated by: Michael Hinton
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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We've all seen the happiness on the face of a child while playing in the school yard. Or the blissful abandon of a golden retriever racing across a lawn. This is the joy of play. By definition, play is purposeless, all-consuming, and fun. But as Dr. Stuart Brown illustrates, play is anything but trivial. It is a biological drive as integral to our health as sleep or nutrition. We are designed by nature to flourish through play.
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Message and content great, professional reader too serious for a book called Play!
- By Sara B aka Mommy on 10-26-17
By: Stuart Brown, and others
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A Whole New Mind
- Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future
- By: Daniel H. Pink
- Narrated by: Daniel H. Pink
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Lawyers. Accountants. Software Engineers. That what Mom and Dad encouraged us to become. They were wrong. Gone is the age of "left-brain" dominance. The future belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind: designers, inventors, teachers, storytellers - creative and emphatic "right-brain" thinkers whose abilities mark the fault line between who gets ahead and who doesn't.
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A waste of a good credit
- By Lonnie on 11-07-08
By: Daniel H. Pink
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Men, Women, and Worthiness
- The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough
- By: Brené Brown PhD LMSW
- Narrated by: Brené Brown PhD LMSW
- Length: 2 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it take to be secure in our sense of belonging and self-worth? We may hustle to attain this security through achievements, meeting expectations, or repeating affirmations to ourselves - but Dr. Brené Brown's research has shown there is ultimately one obstacle to our sense of worthiness. “Shame is the barrier,” she teaches, “and building shame resilience is how we overcome it.”
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Nothing new here.
- By barefoot rabbit on 01-13-15
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The Love Prescription
- Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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What makes love last? Why does one couple stay together forever, while another falls apart? And most importantly, is there a scientific formula for love? Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship scientists. For the past forty years, they have been studying love. They’ve gathered data on over three thousand couples, looking at everything from their body language to the way they converse to their stress hormone levels. Their goal: to identify the building blocks of love.
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Helpful for neurotypicals
- By Audrey4791 on 01-19-23
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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Hold Me Tight
- Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
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No PDFs
- By Michelle Johann on 09-11-20
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The State of Affairs
- Rethinking Infidelity
- By: Esther Perel
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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An affair: It can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the prohibition against it - in fact it has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about our transgressions.
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A compassionate approach
- By Anonymous User on 10-16-17
By: Esther Perel
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The Science of Trust
- Emotional Attunement for Couples
- By: John M. Gottman Ph.D.
- Narrated by: J. Charles
- Length: 16 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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For the past 35 years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.
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Technical version of his other book
- By SoCalSkills on 07-26-17
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The Gifts of Imperfection, 10th Anniversary Edition
- Features a New Foreword
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Brené Brown
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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For more than a decade, Brené Brown has found a special place in our hearts as a gifted mapmaker and a fellow traveler. She is both a social scientist and a kitchen table friend whom you can always count on to tell the truth, make you laugh, and, on occasion, cry with you. And what's now become a movement all started with The Gifts of Imperfection, which has sold more than two million copies in 35 different languages across the globe.
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Anecdotal drivel
- By Megan M. Jeffries on 11-14-20
By: Brené Brown
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Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?
- By: Julie Smith
- Narrated by: Julie Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled with secrets from a therapist's toolkit, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before teaches you how to fortify and maintain your mental health, even in the most trying of times. Dr Julie Smith’s expert advice and powerful coping techniques will help you stay resilient, whether you want to manage anxiety, deal with criticism, cope with depression, build self-confidence, find motivation, or learn to forgive yourself.
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Monotonous
- By John Olson on 02-28-22
By: Julie Smith
What listeners say about The Dance of Connection
Highly rated for:
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- Caramelslice
- 11-05-16
Excellent Content! Listen to it 1.25x faster.
What made the experience of listening to The Dance of Connection the most enjoyable?
The book is practical and insightful, with a lot of excellent examples.
What other book might you compare The Dance of Connection to and why?
The dance of anger
Which character – as performed by Harriet Lerner – was your favorite?
All of them. As she mentioned, do not skip any examples. Even you don't have kids, don't skip the example of mother and her child. The same communication principle will help you in other circumstances.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
Let other people worry about their things.
Any additional comments?
I found this book after reading the dance of anger. I was having a lot of relationship issues - with my husband, my in-laws, and my co-workers. This book has provided quite a few excellent examples. I listened to it again and again and have started to apply the same principles in different cases. I have found that letting people deal with their own issues instead of trying to solving the problems for them makes me so much happier and less stressed about my own life.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Julianne D Misra
- 06-02-21
So useful and thoughtful!
This book provides a lot to think about as well as useful tools for becoming a better listener communicator friend and partner!
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- Lara Karam-Rodgers
- 08-04-20
So helpful
This book had so many helpful passages that I bookmarked. I would recommend this to anyone. The book deals with communicating with family members and difficult conversations you need to have with your loved ones. Definitely worth the listen.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tara
- 03-07-16
very easy to apply instantly...Will re-read
great book. points easy to apply. a must for couples trying to improve communication skills.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-13-20
great info
the information was great. delivery, not so much. if u can get through the monotone, u will b fine.
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- Syndee
- 10-10-15
Great book
This was very informative. I learned a lot of techniques for communicating with family and others. Definitely worth the time. I did however have to run it on 1.5x as the narrator read extremely slow! Even with it at this speed there were times it was slow!!
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4 people found this helpful
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- DeVon
- 04-14-16
Good book on connecting!
Great read! I was able to view my experiences in a new vantage point. 5 stars!
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- manya quinn
- 02-07-20
Feels Human
This book is very easy to digest. It provides clear examples of the ideas. Most importantly it’s not full of jargon. It’s a very relatable book for humans who want to interact better. A quick listen that offers huge perspective. Highly recommend it for family, parents and partners.
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- Isabel Anderson
- 01-19-21
Transformational
I look forward to every opportunity I can get to listen to this book. It has been transformational in my personal growth and I will most definitely go back and listen to it again.
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- Sarah Westbrook
- 08-11-21
Relevant
Very good information. She reads it like a therapist so it’s hard to listen to sometimes. I’ve listened more than once because of the incredible information
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