
The Four Tendencies
The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)
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Narrated by:
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Gretchen Rubin
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By:
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Gretchen Rubin
About this listen
In this groundbreaking analysis of personality type, best-selling author of Better Than Before and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin reveals the one simple question that will transform what you do at home, at work, and in life.
During her multi-book investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.
More than 600,000 people have taken her online quiz, and managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people make significant, lasting change.
The Four Tendencies hold practical answers if you’ve ever thought:
- People can rely on me, but I can’t rely on myself.
- How can I help someone to follow good advice?
- People say I ask too many questions.
- How do I work with someone who refuses to do what I ask - or who keeps telling me what to do?
With sharp insight, compelling research, and hilarious examples, The Four Tendencies will help you get happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. It’s far easier to succeed when you know what works for you.
©2017 Gretchen Rubin (P)2017 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Poor performance and poor writing.
- By Julie on 01-21-20
By: David Perlmutter MD, and others
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Transcend
- The New Science of Self-Actualization
- By: Scott Barry Kaufman PhD
- Narrated by: Scott Barry Kaufman PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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When psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman first discovered Maslow's unfinished theory of transcendence, sprinkled throughout a cache of unpublished journals, lectures, and essays, he felt a deep resonance with his own work and life. In this groundbreaking book, Kaufman picks up where Maslow left off, unraveling the mysteries of his unfinished theory, and integrating these ideas with the latest research on attachment, connection, creativity, love, purpose and other building blocks of a life well lived.
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Exactly what I wanted, and needed
- By Shannon Tripp on 06-24-20
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You Are the Universe
- Discovering Your Cosmic Self and Why It Matters
- By: Menas C. Kafatos PhD, Deepak Chopra
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Deepak Chopra joins forces with leading physicist Menas Kafatos to explore some of the most important and baffling questions about our place in the world.
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Add this one to your list of must listens.
- By Richard McClelland on 03-09-17
By: Menas C. Kafatos PhD, and others
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Tell Me More
- Stories About the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say
- By: Kelly Corrigan
- Narrated by: Kelly Corrigan
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a crazy idea: trying to name the phrases that make love and connection possible. But that's just what Kelly Corrigan has set out to do here. In her New York Times best-selling memoirs, Corrigan distilled our core relationships to their essences, showcasing a warm, easy storytelling style. Now, in Tell Me More, she's back with a deeply personal, unfailingly honest, and often hilarious examination of the essential phrases that turn the wheel of life.
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hard but worth it
- By erssmith on 09-19-18
By: Kelly Corrigan
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You Can Fix Your Brain
- Just 1 Hour a Week to the Best Memory, Productivity, and Sleep You've Ever Had
- By: Tom O'Bryan, Mark Hyman
- Narrated by: Tom O'Bryan
- Length: 11 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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We've all experienced brain fog - misplaced keys, forgotten facts, a general feeling that you're just feeling off today. And many of us will experience that "fog" manifesting as something more permanent - either in ourselves or our loved ones. No matter what your current brain health state may be, You Can Fix Your Brain will enable and empower you to take concrete steps that will make an immediate difference in your brain’s vitality, clarity, and energy. Your memory will improve, fogginess will disappear, you’ll be less tired all the time, and much more.
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Repetitive until the last three chapters.
- By Toni on 10-20-18
By: Tom O'Bryan, and others
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The Bullet Journal Method
- Track the Past, Order the Present, Design the Future
- By: Ryder Carroll
- Narrated by: Ryder Carroll
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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For years Ryder Carroll tried countless organizing systems, online and off, but none of them fit the way his mind worked. Out of sheer necessity, he developed a method called the Bullet Journal that helped him become consistently focused and effective. Then it went viral. To his astonishment, Bullet Journaling is now a global movement. The Bullet Journal Method is about much more than organizing your notes and to-do lists. It's about what Carroll calls "intentional living": weeding out distractions and focusing your time and energy in pursuit of what's truly meaningful.
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For those who can't find the pdf
- By MJ Elizabeth on 01-25-19
By: Ryder Carroll
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The Third Door
- The Mindset of Success
- By: Alex Banayan
- Narrated by: Alex Banayan
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The Third Door takes listeners on an unprecedented adventure—from hacking Warren Buffett’s shareholders meeting to chasing Larry King through a grocery store to celebrating in a nightclub with Lady Gaga—as Alex Banayan travels from icon to icon, decoding their success. After remarkable one-on-one interviews with Bill Gates, Maya Angelou, Steve Wozniak, Jane Goodall, Larry King, Jessica Alba, Pitbull, Tim Ferriss, Quincy Jones, and many more, Alex discovered the one key they have in common: they all took the Third Door.
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This story saved my future...
- By Laurimar Melendez on 07-08-18
By: Alex Banayan
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How to Be Perfect
- The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question
- By: Michael Schur
- Narrated by: Michael Schur, Kristen Bell, D'Arcy Carden, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Most people think of themselves as “good", but it’s not always easy to determine what’s “good” or “bad” - especially in a world filled with complicated choices and pitfalls and booby traps and bad advice. Fortunately, many smart philosophers have been pondering this conundrum for millennia, and they have guidance for us. With bright wit and deep insight, How to Be Perfect explains concepts like deontology, utilitarianism, existentialism, ubuntu, and more, so we can sound cool at parties and become better people.
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Some philosophy, lots of politics
- By NJDad on 02-02-22
By: Michael Schur
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Insight
- Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life
- By: Tasha Eurich
- Narrated by: Tasha Eurich
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Integrating hundreds of studies with her own research and work in the Fortune 500 world, organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich shatters conventional assumptions about what it takes to truly know ourselves - like why introspection isn't a bullet train to insight, how experience is the enemy of self-knowledge, and just how far others will go to avoid telling us the truth about ourselves. At a time when self-awareness matters more than ever, Insight is the essential playbook for surviving and thriving in an unaware world.
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Chicken noodle soup for the faux-llectual
- By Peter Hudson on 08-29-17
By: Tasha Eurich
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The Scaffold Effect
- Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety
- By: Harold S. Koplewicz
- Narrated by: Harold S. Koplewicz
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Just as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time.
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Disappointed
- By Jaimie Sauer on 08-04-21
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Side Hustle
- From Idea to Income in 27 Days
- By: Chris Guillebeau
- Narrated by: Chris Guillebeau
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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For some people, the thought of quitting their day job to pursue the entrepreneurial life is exhilarating. For many others, it's terrifying. After all, a stable job that delivers a regular paycheck is a blessing. And not everyone has the means or the desire to take on the risks and responsibilities of working for themselves. But what if we could quickly and easily create an additional stream of income without giving up the security of a full-time job? Enter the side hustle.
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Just $100 Startup" distilled - At Double speed.
- By Daniel L on 09-25-17
By: Chris Guillebeau
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This Is So Awkward
- Modern Puberty Explained
- By: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Narrated by: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Almost everything about puberty has changed since today's adults went through it. Bewildered adults have begged for reliable and relatable information about the modern adolescent experience. This Is So Awkward answers their call. Written by a pediatrician and a puberty educator—together the hosts of a lively and popular podcast on puberty, and moms to six teens between them—this is the handbook everyone has been searching for. Eye-opening and reassuring, This Is So Awkward will help adults understand the turbulent pubescent decade and become confident guides for today’s kids.
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Text book reading for understanding your kids
- By Leap4 on 09-23-24
By: Cara Natterson MD, and others
What listeners say about The Four Tendencies
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- Maria
- 12-22-21
Obliged to give 5 stars.
Thank you, Gretchen for helping me better understand myself as an obliger. I now have a better understanding of my upholder husband- who I think leans a little toward rebel. I really appreciate being able to understand him better and how to respond knowing my own tendency as an obliger. I feel like if everyone read this book we are one step closer to world peace and I will be sure to recommend. Thanks again :) - Maria Rhodes
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- Robert Burrows
- 01-11-18
Had to do this review. I'm an obliger.
Thank you for sharing your tendencies framework with the world, Gretchen. Very insightful. Also appreciated to you did the audio recording.
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- Jaime Goicoechea
- 05-20-18
This book is in my top five for self-help!
When you understand where in the four tendencies are you, thats when your life starts to change and improve.
This book helps you understand yourself and all people around you and all the self-savatage that hurts us most.
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- Brandon Smith
- 12-26-17
Interesting Personality Framework
This book is a well-organized version of the Four Tendencies that the author talks about on her blog. It was interesting to read about these four default personality tendencies and how to use that to improve your relationships at home, at work, and with friends. Overall, a quick and interesting read.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-23-18
Insight into what drives others to do what they do
If you like, value and use personality tests to help understanding human drives and motivation, you will find the 4 tendencies very useful.
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- sac
- 03-16-18
A must!!!!
I read many books, of all sort and specially psychology ones:
This is the most revealing and usefull book i've read.
It made me understand so many aspects of my personality, relations, choises i've made, etc...
Please impove your life by reading or listenting to it!!!
Sofia, Italy.
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- M. R.
- 02-01-19
Very insightful!
So, I read a few of the negative comments and most seemed to take issue with the fact that she is not a licensed psychologist and has no formal training. I couldn’t care less about that. I’ve read so many books by trained “experts” that were nonsense so that’s not a valid argument to me.
I think the Four Tendencies is a fascinating theory and I applied it to myself and family members and found it to be quite accurate, particularly if you also take the Myers-Briggs assessment and compare the results of the two.
I am an Obliger, which most of those so-called self-help books portray as a negative. This book helped me to see it in a positive light and to identify the best way to motivate myself and my Rebel husband.
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- Tory
- 07-25-18
very in-depth into the 4 tendencies
It is really a great book for people dealing with a lot of different people
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- Crystal
- 07-01-20
Useful for Interacting & Understanding Others
This book is generally referenced daily at work. I really enjoyed it bc it was insightful for understanding the self but even more so to understand and predict others. Knowing what expectations I put on others or what others may expect of me has really helped me navigate how to communicate with others based on their needs. My whole team at work has taken the quiz, some gave read it, and everyone references the 4 tendencies. It’s great!😊
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- MARIAH
- 03-27-21
For every entrepreneur out there
I really see this book as a must have for everyone who manages a team and wants cohesiveness in the decision making and being able to better serve clients.
It’s a relatively short read compared to other books and it describes all 4 tendencies with every day life examples.
I’m looking forward to receiving the resources to have a discussion with my team about how to implement the for tendencies into our business operations. I read the book so that I can start training them on the new ideals we need to set up to help health clients adhere to treatment.
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