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Too Perfect
- When Being in Control Gets Out of Control
- Narrated by: Jeannette De Wyze
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
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Publisher's summary
For many of us, perfectionism can bring life's most desired rewards. But when the obsessive need for perfection and control gets in the way of our professional and emotional lives, the cost becomes too high. Although many of us appear cool and confident on the outside, inside we are in emotional turmoil, trying to satisfy everyone, attempting to direct the future, and feeling that we are failing.
In Too Perfect, Dr. Allan Mallinger draws on 20 years of research and observations from his private practice to show how perfectionism can sap energy, complicate even the simplest decisions, and take the enjoyment out of life. For workaholics or neat freaks, for anyone who fears change or making mistakes, needs rigid rules, is excessively frugal or obstinate, Too Perfect offers revealing self-tests, fascinating case histories, and practical strategies to help us overcome obsessiveness and reclaim our right to happiness.
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
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Constructive Living combines two of the most popular forms of therapy in Japan into one profoundly effective approach that will not only enhance your productivity but also bring a flexible, responsive mind - a Zenlike tranquility - a to your personal and professional lives. Discover the life-changing potential of Morita therapy (based on taking right action in the moment) and Naikan therapy (a way to cultivate your awareness of how the world supports you) in three information-packed sessions.
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Insightfully Practical and Realistic
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Some interesting material
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This is a book about men. Not all men, just emotionally unhealthy men. The ones who make you question, "Is it him or is it me? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I try to tell him how I feel, but he says I'm overreacting or needy or it's all my fault". Relationships are hard work, but how hard should they be? When do you know you are struggling too hard to make a relationship succeed?
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I Cried Thru The First Thirty Minutes...
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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Asinine
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You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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horrible
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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What listeners say about Too Perfect
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Adeline Sweeting
- 05-16-24
very insightful
lots of information on the topic that finally answered so many questions about OCPD
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- Blkkinghephaestus
- 01-07-22
I feel validated, and attacked... in a good way
I struggled with finding an acceptable book to really learn about OCPD. This is it. it really just... pins me down and makes you say okay. Well now I know why I can't stop and can't let this go and react to this in this manner. I had to order a text copy for my gf because it's just. So on point.
edit: I've given a text copy to my girlfriend to help her understand d my reactions and feelings. I've recommended this to at least 4 people since I heard it and I read the text copy.
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2 people found this helpful
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- L. Stephen Wolfe
- 02-08-21
You know these sorts of people
You’ve probably known people who are obsessive: picky, critical, guarded, overworked yet unable to finish tasks or make simple decisions. These control freaks can be hard to live with even if they are attractive in other ways. They can also be unhappy.
Dr. Al Mallinger has been trying to help such people in his psychiatric practice for decades. Over the years, he has developed a variety of techniques for helping these perfectionists let go of their bad habits and lighten up. His work has changed lives, saved marriages and families, and helped obsessives overcome sadness and depression.
In 1992, with the aid of journalist and medical writer Jeannette De Wyze, Mallinger wrote "Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control," a book designed to help both obsessives and the people who live and work with them. The book is crammed with anecdotes about real people we’ve all met but never really understood. (The names have been changed.)
"Too Perfect" has remained in print for nearly 30 years and been translated into German, Spanish, and Chinese. Taiwan’s military once bought a batch of them to train its officers.
In 2020, Tantor Media (a division of Recorded Books) produced the first audio book version of "Too Perfect," read by co-author Jeannette De Wyze. Now obsessives who are too overworked to read books can listen to Mallinger’s advice while riding their exercise bikes or lifting weights. And the friends, loved ones, bosses, and subordinates of these perfectionistic people will take comfort from De Wyze’s soothing voice. Obsessiveness can be treated, even cured!
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- omri
- 01-01-24
What a book for OCPD People!
Exactly the kind of book I was looking for to explore OCPD characteristics. It hit all the right spots!
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-28-21
My boyfriend is obsessive
It described exactly what happens in our house everyday. He is not all these things, but a lot of them. I want to have empathy for him, but it’s difficult. He doesn’t seem to care that he is negatively affecting our relationship and I have a daughter that I don’t want her to be affected by this behavior. Im going to have him read and then we can assess our relationship. Whatever happens I’m good with it…now
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- L&H
- 06-13-23
Helpful
This is the type of complimentary book I’ve been looking for to suggest to my OCPD clients and others with related struggles with obsessiveness. Very well done!
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- Anon
- 04-29-24
Must read about OCPD
This book is amazing!!! I just wish they had search engine optimization when it comes to people looking for books regarding help w OCPD. The only reason I found this book was because someone had posted it in a resource list on the reddit forum : r/LovedByOCPD.
I personally have a loved one with this personality type and this book was so helpful for me to understand the mind of someone with OCPD.
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